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Author Topic: On the merits of pole dancing...  (Read 651 times) Average Rating: 0
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TheTrisagion
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« on: July 16, 2013, 08:04:34 PM »

So my wife's friend has decided to take up pole dancing as a fun form of exercise.  It is taught by a local instructor and many helpful tips and techniques are taught and explained.  Because of my great concern for my wife's cardiac health, I recommended she join her friend in this aerobic exercise as a means of staying fit.  I even offered to install a pole in our home wherever she would prefer to have it.  To my shock and disappointment, my wife has notified me that she does not intend to take advantage of my offer even when I said I would pay for these lesson out of my own private spending account.  Fellow brothers and sisters, please help me come up with the best possible argument to convince my wife of the benefits of this fun-filled hobby.

Asteriktos, I have high hopes for your recommendations on how to deal with this unfortunate set of circumstances.
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Alveus Lacuna
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« Reply #1 on: July 16, 2013, 08:08:34 PM »

I'm not gonna touch this with my ten foot pole.
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TheTrisagion
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« Reply #2 on: July 16, 2013, 08:10:53 PM »

I'm not gonna touch this with my ten foot pole.
So you recommend a 10 foot pole?  This is good to know.  I was wondering on the height of such poles.  I might have to take out a piece of the ceiling to make it fit though...
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« Reply #3 on: July 16, 2013, 08:41:46 PM »

No offense, but does your wife think that you are more interested in watching her pole dance rather than having her pole dance for her health?  Drop the pole dance idea and suggest she try walking, jogging, biking, swimming, or some other cardio workout, which her doctor would approve.
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Asteriktos
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« Reply #4 on: July 16, 2013, 08:48:03 PM »

Some women are not ready for the rigors of pole dancing. Even the mid-level techniques takes a certain level of muscularity and unheaviness that some women haven't achieved. Perhaps have her start on something that is easier to get into, like nude yoga? There will be little up front cost, and she can invite some of the ladies from the neighborhood over to the house to do it with her. Now, one word of advice: there is a ton of misinformation on the internet about yoga making you "long and lean" and stuff like that, so if she reads that stuff by all means encourage her, and don't let more factual information get in the way.

I would be willing to waive my normal fee and give your wife advice, just have her email me pics of the yoga sessions. Good luck!
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TheTrisagion
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« Reply #5 on: July 16, 2013, 08:49:03 PM »

No offense, but does your wife think that you are more interested in watching her pole dance rather than having her pole dance for her health?  Drop the pole dance idea and suggest she try walking, jogging, biking, swimming, or some other cardio workout, which her doctor would approve.
what?  WHAT?  What would possibly give you that idea?  Wink

Clearly, my only motivation for this is to allow a good workout of both upper and lower body muscles while developing balance and muscle control.  I'm shocked, SHOCKED, that anyone would even contemplate other possibilities.  Grin
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TheTrisagion
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« Reply #6 on: July 16, 2013, 08:52:54 PM »

Some women are not ready for the rigors of pole dancing. Even the mid-level techniques takes a certain level of muscularity and unheaviness that some women haven't achieved. Perhaps have her start on something that is easier to get into, like nude yoga? There will be little up front cost, and she can invite some of the ladies from the neighborhood over to the house to do it with her. Now, one word of advice: there is a ton of misinformation on the internet about yoga making you "long and lean" and stuff like that, so if she reads that stuff by all means encourage her, and don't let more factual information get in the way.

I would be willing to waive my normal fee and give your wife advice, just have her email me pics of the yoga sessions. Good luck!
This is most generous, Asteriktos.  I appreciate you being willing to give up your fee just to help the wife of a fellow forumer.  Truly, you have a a heart of gold.  I shall approach her with your suggestion and will notify you of her response.  No doubt, she will be equally grateful of such generosity on your part.
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« Reply #7 on: July 16, 2013, 10:16:24 PM »

here's video of some pole dancing (it's pretty tame):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdrjEW44UTQ
« Last Edit: July 16, 2013, 10:17:00 PM by Tallitot » Logged

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TheTrisagion
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« Reply #8 on: July 16, 2013, 10:35:53 PM »

here's video of some pole dancing (it's pretty tame):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdrjEW44UTQ
LOL, that is awesome!  I'll bet MK would be into this.  laugh
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« Reply #9 on: July 16, 2013, 11:38:16 PM »

All that Gnosticism's really got you going, doesn't it?

When I read this thread, the first thing that popped into my mind was that bizarre, lanky "Sex Magic" guy out in New Mexico.  An Orthodox version of that would be interesting.  Tongue
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« Reply #10 on: July 17, 2013, 08:24:53 AM »

All that Gnosticism's really got you going, doesn't it?

When I read this thread, the first thing that popped into my mind was that bizarre, lanky "Sex Magic" guy out in New Mexico.  An Orthodox version of that would be interesting.  Tongue

LOL, this is what happens when I get wound up by gnostics, apparently.  Cheesy
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« Reply #11 on: July 17, 2013, 08:53:04 AM »

Dear Trisagion,

I agree that the lively tempo and the energetic steps of the polka should provide both enjoyment and cardivascular benefits.  It is interesting to note that the polka was introduced as a wholesome alternative to the licentious waltz.  Since the polka is designed for couples, you will be able to get in shape as well.

Love, elephant
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« Reply #12 on: July 17, 2013, 09:04:17 AM »

I need to report this thread to a moderator.  I think Asteriktos hacked TheTrisigion's account.  This has all the makings of an *tos story.  He even responded to himself just to throw you off.  This is a grave violation of forum rules.  Please look into this.
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« Reply #13 on: July 17, 2013, 09:08:54 AM »

I need to report this thread to a moderator.  I think Asteriktos hacked TheTrisigion's account.  This has all the makings of an *tos story.  He even responded to himself just to throw you off.  This is a grave violation of forum rules.  Please look into this.
Hey!  Where did this thread come from?  Who made such an unholy thread dedicated to the licentious dancing of my wife in my name.  IS OUTRAGE!  Grin
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« Reply #14 on: July 17, 2013, 09:10:04 AM »

The polka is a gateway dance to the true national pastime: the horizontal polka. Let's get busy and shake like an accordion!
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Happy 450th birthday, Mr. Shakespeare!


« Reply #15 on: July 17, 2013, 09:11:10 AM »

I need to report this thread to a moderator.  I think Asteriktos hacked TheTrisigion's account.  This has all the makings of an *tos story.  He even responded to himself just to throw you off.  This is a grave violation of forum rules.  Please look into this.
Hey!  Where did this thread come from?  Who made such an unholy thread dedicated to the licentious dancing of my wife in my name.  IS OUTRAGE!  Grin

Hacking? There was no hacking involved. I am outraged! After I slipped him the knockout drug I asked several times whether it was ok to post using his user name. He did nothing but drool in approval.
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TheTrisagion
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« Reply #16 on: July 17, 2013, 09:12:41 AM »

The polka is a gateway dance to the true national pastime: the horizontal polka. Let's get busy and shake like an accordion!

LOL!  Curse you Asteriktos, I laughed out loud at work and now I'm receiving strange sideways glances from my coworkers.
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« Reply #17 on: July 17, 2013, 09:45:51 AM »

You can always suggest putting up a trellis in the garden and have fun all around multiple poles... angel
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Happy 450th birthday, Mr. Shakespeare!


« Reply #18 on: July 17, 2013, 12:42:46 PM »

On the other hand, I wouldn't recommending giving up entirely on the pole dancing thing. It is a very useful skill to have, very practical.



Haven't we all found ourselves in a situation like this?
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« Reply #19 on: July 17, 2013, 12:53:05 PM »

Alright, some of you guys need to go and take a cold shower and come back when you are ready to post something germaine to a Christian forum.  I'm going to lock this thread for now until there is more of a consensus amongst the moderators on whether to leave it locked or to open it again.

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« Reply #20 on: July 18, 2013, 09:03:51 AM »

The moderatorial team has decided that this thread shall remain locked.
                      
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