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Author Topic: How does one be brave and take charge?  (Read 470 times) Average Rating: 0
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William
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« on: July 05, 2013, 01:19:01 AM »

I worked a late shift tonight and there was an assault. My boss and a few coworkers (pretty large sailors) showed up and quickly defused the situation until cops could arrive. I came along too but didn't really do anything. I know that I should not have even tried because I am a scrawny 18 year old white kid and everything was completely under control but if I'm ever in another emergency and there aren't five 6-5 250+ lbs coworkers around to save the day I still want to be able to help.

To give another example, I want to be the guy who sees someone drowning in the river and jumps in two second later.

So how do you foster those kinds of values - confidence and bravery?
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« Reply #1 on: July 06, 2013, 10:41:17 PM »

I understand what you all are trying to tell me. To be confident I must not be so quick to speak and prone to idle chatter; that way my words will carry more weight and importance. I also have to be more self-dependent, not relying on others or the internet for all my answers.
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« Reply #2 on: July 06, 2013, 11:29:46 PM »


Ha ha!  You've gotten some pretty great advice! 

I don't know what to tell you.  Just nurture the notion of humility and love of neighbor.  Pray.

When the time comes that you are needed, you will know it and you will act.

I can say this, because I had just such an opportunity pop up.  I would never have thought I had it in me.  Never.....but, when I was needed, God took over, and put me in autopilot.

Don't worry about it.  If you are needed, you will know...and you won't be able to just stand there and do nothing.

(By the way, things DO move in really slow motion, just like folks say it does.)
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« Reply #3 on: July 07, 2013, 12:00:51 AM »

You just need to throw yourself into the fray.  If you survive, do this enough and you will become inured to the fear.  At least, it stands to reason that this is how it works.  I wouldn't know, I usually run away and prepare to shoot if the danger follows me.
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« Reply #4 on: July 07, 2013, 12:40:53 AM »

I worked a late shift tonight and there was an assault. My boss and a few coworkers (pretty large sailors) showed up and quickly defused the situation until cops could arrive. I came along too but didn't really do anything. I know that I should not have even tried because I am a scrawny 18 year old white kid and everything was completely under control but if I'm ever in another emergency and there aren't five 6-5 250+ lbs coworkers around to save the day I still want to be able to help.

To give another example, I want to be the guy who sees someone drowning in the river and jumps in two second later.
The person who does this ends up drowning, too. You need to act in such a way that you have the best chance of saving someone else without putting yourself at undue risk.
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« Reply #5 on: July 07, 2013, 01:51:03 AM »

Bravery and courage…how many times have I had this talk with young men who wonder how to obtain it and what they really are.  I will share the ultra-basics of what I have learned and what seems to help others.

Courage is not having a lack of fear, rather controlling and channeling that fear into something useful.  The folks who have no fear are dangerous.

Bravery could be considered the same as courage, but in my mind I think the difference is bravery is being smart enough to use your courage in a productive way.  

As Peter hinted at, jumping into something foolishly and dying isn’t brave, it’s stupid.  If you are in a bank and have a gun (if you are allowed) and that bank is getting robbed by 8 men scattered throughout the bank, is it brave to attempt to stop them or keep your mouth shut and let them rob the bank as long as no one is getting hurt and attempt to keep others calm?  

I am not fond of heights, but am I going to seek out opportunities to “face my fear” or am I going to simply do what I must do if that time ever comes?  I have nothing to prove to anyone but myself, which I have done several times in my life, for instance when I leaped from a helicopter with nothing more than my hands and a rope securing me to that helicopter, 80 feet above the ground, as it “NASCAR’d” to the drop point (speed roping).

Then, what is that compared to a father who must face the fear of parenting his children and telling them their mother has passed away?

Taking charge is simply having the know-how and willingness to assume responsibility and direct others.  Of course, one must know if another is better equipped to take charge and step aside to assist that person.

My advice is, if there is something specific you want to be able to do, train for it and be prepared.  If it is just life in general, do the best you can, but be smart about it.  Not everyone is supposed to be the movie type hero.  If they were, it wouldn’t be exciting in the movies.
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« Reply #6 on: July 07, 2013, 10:14:59 AM »

Assualt...sailors...river...drowning...

When aren't we relying on others? Why does helping mean so much to you?
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« Reply #7 on: July 07, 2013, 10:14:59 AM »

Or should I say why do you care so much?

Since you are scrawny, why not just use an object to stop an assault?
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« Reply #8 on: July 07, 2013, 12:00:47 PM »

My own experience leads me to believe that it's best to start being brave in non-threatening environments and then work your way up from there. Work on being brave in the suburbs before you try to be brave in the hood. Work on being confident in your anytime fitness gym before you try to be confident at the motorcycle rally.
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« Reply #9 on: July 07, 2013, 12:08:01 PM »

If you find yourself in a situation that takes half a dozen linebackers to contain, the brave thing is not to get involved. It's a fine line between bravery and stupidity.

What you can work on, though, is working on keeping your head, so you can effectively summon help. Drawing attention to yourself in order to buy some time is terrifying - bravery includes making yourself a potential victim, not just sweeping in to save the day.

Do you know who's most likely to be shot during a bank robbery? The mousy clerk who hits the alarm button. And people do it anyway. There's no greater bravery than that.
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« Reply #10 on: July 07, 2013, 12:11:50 PM »

If you cannot handle your opponent then take him on mentally. Machiavelli and Sun Tzu have taught me much.
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« Reply #11 on: July 08, 2013, 11:29:17 PM »

I think sometimes "bravery" comes with experience.  You just learn that you gotta do what you gotta do.

(yes this is going to make me sound like a hillbilly)

Okay, we were out on a Texas Ranch that borders Davy Crockett national forest.   All private property, and about 1200 acres.   We had shot some wild Turkeys and began to clean them...  We returned to my buddy's cabin and began cleaning the birds.

Nature called for my buddy, and he went into the cabin.     I kept cleaning the birds.  All the sudden I just heard SCREAMING and was like  Huh Huh Shocked Shocked Huh Huh   So I went running.

Well he went out back of the cabin and a 375-400 pound wild boar had gored him in the side.  By the time I arrived, he was on the ground and the boar had his entire boot in his mouth.  (I have been gored before and it HURTS like crazy).

Anyway, I still had my cleaning knife, so like a "brave genius  Lips Sealed Lips Sealed" I stabbed the boar in the back of the head.  BIG BIG mistake.  I didn't know at the time that the back of the skull of this type of boar has a HEAVY THICK mass of bone.   I thrust down and it went  "PINK" (Like hitting a moss covered rock).  The boar looked back, let go of the boot and swung the tusks at me.  I shouted and ran back.  Anyway, I tripped over a small half broken post and saw NOTHING but this huge hog coming.

I kicked with all my might (I mean literally with everything I had) at its snout and it did NOT phase it at all.   I held my leg stiff and it was pushing me backwards "push dragging me".    I kicked with my other foot to no phase at all.  The hog started biting my boot.

My buddy jumps up and hits the hog with a small sledge hammer (we use them with splitting wedges to split wood).    He clobbered it in mid back.   The thing squeals, turns around, and starts after my friend again.  I was right on it.    I just started stabbing as fast as I could, anywhere I could.  This enraged this animal badly.  It started to bite my friend past his boot on the upper shin/knee and was pinning him hard against some outdoor stairs.

I kept stabbing and stabbing... The blade was just a cleaning knife... It must have been 12-14 times....  Finally it sways backwards I lifted my boot up, and gored right through my jeans, and my boots, and penetrates my calf area some.  Ouch.  Then it started to run off...

Well, needless to say we recovered for 20-30 seconds and ran to the shotguns.   We didn't have to follow the animal but 200 yards through the thick.   One buckshot took it down.

See there's brave in ways that you think people are being brave.... And there are times when you are fighting for your life.  That boar could have KILLED either of us.   Bravery comes when you need it to. 

I have had 4 instances in my life when I could have been killed by a wild boar.    It's those moments when you are being thrown like a rag doll that are terrifying, but if you don't keep fighting, you are toast.

I wish we were this lucky (still very dangerous situation because you can shoot your friend) (WARNING hunting style video) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvQRvhEuBd4
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« Reply #12 on: July 08, 2013, 11:33:26 PM »

If you cannot handle your opponent then take him on mentally. Machiavelli and Sun Tzu have taught me much.

*Someone is being mugged on the street, and JamesR intervenes*

JamesR: "Just think about this for a moment. If you walk away now then nothing will come of this. Yet if you rob this person, or assault them, you could go to jail! Do you really want to throw away your future for a few dol..."

*BANG*

JamesR dies.

Don't do it, James. Just cower in fear like the rest of us.
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« Reply #13 on: July 08, 2013, 11:51:13 PM »

I think sometimes "bravery" comes with experience.  You just learn that you gotta do what you gotta do.

(yes this is going to make me sound like a hillbilly)

Okay, we were out on a Texas Ranch that borders Davy Crockett national forest.   All private property, and about 1200 acres.   We had shot some wild Turkeys and began to clean them...  We returned to my buddy's cabin and began cleaning the birds.

Nature called for my buddy, and he went into the cabin.     I kept cleaning the birds.  All the sudden I just heard SCREAMING and was like  Huh Huh Shocked Shocked Huh Huh   So I went running.

Well he went out back of the cabin and a 375-400 pound wild boar had gored him in the side.  By the time I arrived, he was on the ground and the boar had his entire boot in his mouth.  (I have been gored before and it HURTS like crazy).

Anyway, I still had my cleaning knife, so like a "brave genius  Lips Sealed Lips Sealed" I stabbed the boar in the back of the head.  BIG BIG mistake.  I didn't know at the time that the back of the skull of this type of boar has a HEAVY THICK mass of bone.   I thrust down and it went  "PINK" (Like hitting a moss covered rock).  The boar looked back, let go of the boot and swung the tusks at me.  I shouted and ran back.  Anyway, I tripped over a small half broken post and saw NOTHING but this huge hog coming.

I kicked with all my might (I mean literally with everything I had) at its snout and it did NOT phase it at all.   I held my leg stiff and it was pushing me backwards "push dragging me".    I kicked with my other foot to no phase at all.  The hog started biting my boot.

My buddy jumps up and hits the hog with a small sledge hammer (we use them with splitting wedges to split wood).    He clobbered it in mid back.   The thing squeals, turns around, and starts after my friend again.  I was right on it.    I just started stabbing as fast as I could, anywhere I could.  This enraged this animal badly.  It started to bite my friend past his boot on the upper shin/knee and was pinning him hard against some outdoor stairs.

I kept stabbing and stabbing... The blade was just a cleaning knife... It must have been 12-14 times....  Finally it sways backwards I lifted my boot up, and gored right through my jeans, and my boots, and penetrates my calf area some.  Ouch.  Then it started to run off...

Well, needless to say we recovered for 20-30 seconds and ran to the shotguns.   We didn't have to follow the animal but 200 yards through the thick.   One buckshot took it down.

See there's brave in ways that you think people are being brave.... And there are times when you are fighting for your life.  That boar could have KILLED either of us.   Bravery comes when you need it to. 

I have had 4 instances in my life when I could have been killed by a wild boar.    It's those moments when you are being thrown like a rag doll that are terrifying, but if you don't keep fighting, you are toast.

I wish we were this lucky (still very dangerous situation because you can shoot your friend) (WARNING hunting style video) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvQRvhEuBd4

Well....

Your story is going to make my story sound laughable, but I'll tell it anyway.

Unfortunately, I'm not a hardened shaves-with-a-rock rugged awesome mountain man like you, so I don't have to worry about hogs and boars. But, I do have an extreme case of arachnophobia, to the extent that I still cannot kill them myself. Well, one time about a year or two ago I was home alone with my baby sister and she was sleeping in the crib. Well, as luck would have it, there was a HUGE black spider on the wall right next to her. Normally I'd either have ignored it or had someone else kill it, but that wasn't an option. So, in a flash, as gross as it was, I just smashed it with my fist and then washed my hands till my skin peeled.
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« Reply #14 on: July 09, 2013, 02:10:05 AM »

Sometimes "brave" just means not letting someone else do what you wouldn’t do yourself, like walking through a field in the middle of the night with a flashlight looking for IED's in Iraq so your convoy can get from point A to point B after junior troops say they would do it for you.  A few of them thought me brave (because I did that type of thing a lot over there).  The real reason was I didn’t want any of them getting hurt.

Do what you feel you must do even if you are scared, but be smart about it.  That's all I think bravery is.

Real bravery is doing the right thing even though no one is watching you.
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« Reply #15 on: July 09, 2013, 02:13:08 AM »

I think sometimes "bravery" comes with experience.  You just learn that you gotta do what you gotta do.

(yes this is going to make me sound like a hillbilly)

Okay, we were out on a Texas Ranch that borders Davy Crockett national forest.   All private property, and about 1200 acres.   We had shot some wild Turkeys and began to clean them...  We returned to my buddy's cabin and began cleaning the birds.

Nature called for my buddy, and he went into the cabin.     I kept cleaning the birds.  All the sudden I just heard SCREAMING and was like  Huh Huh Shocked Shocked Huh Huh   So I went running.

Well he went out back of the cabin and a 375-400 pound wild boar had gored him in the side.  By the time I arrived, he was on the ground and the boar had his entire boot in his mouth.  (I have been gored before and it HURTS like crazy).

Anyway, I still had my cleaning knife, so like a "brave genius  Lips Sealed Lips Sealed" I stabbed the boar in the back of the head.  BIG BIG mistake.  I didn't know at the time that the back of the skull of this type of boar has a HEAVY THICK mass of bone.   I thrust down and it went  "PINK" (Like hitting a moss covered rock).  The boar looked back, let go of the boot and swung the tusks at me.  I shouted and ran back.  Anyway, I tripped over a small half broken post and saw NOTHING but this huge hog coming.

I kicked with all my might (I mean literally with everything I had) at its snout and it did NOT phase it at all.   I held my leg stiff and it was pushing me backwards "push dragging me".    I kicked with my other foot to no phase at all.  The hog started biting my boot.

My buddy jumps up and hits the hog with a small sledge hammer (we use them with splitting wedges to split wood).    He clobbered it in mid back.   The thing squeals, turns around, and starts after my friend again.  I was right on it.    I just started stabbing as fast as I could, anywhere I could.  This enraged this animal badly.  It started to bite my friend past his boot on the upper shin/knee and was pinning him hard against some outdoor stairs.

I kept stabbing and stabbing... The blade was just a cleaning knife... It must have been 12-14 times....  Finally it sways backwards I lifted my boot up, and gored right through my jeans, and my boots, and penetrates my calf area some.  Ouch.  Then it started to run off...

Well, needless to say we recovered for 20-30 seconds and ran to the shotguns.   We didn't have to follow the animal but 200 yards through the thick.   One buckshot took it down.

See there's brave in ways that you think people are being brave.... And there are times when you are fighting for your life.  That boar could have KILLED either of us.   Bravery comes when you need it to. 

I have had 4 instances in my life when I could have been killed by a wild boar.    It's those moments when you are being thrown like a rag doll that are terrifying, but if you don't keep fighting, you are toast.

I wish we were this lucky (still very dangerous situation because you can shoot your friend) (WARNING hunting style video) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvQRvhEuBd4

Well....

Your story is going to make my story sound laughable, but I'll tell it anyway.

Unfortunately, I'm not a hardened shaves-with-a-rock rugged awesome mountain man like you, so I don't have to worry about hogs and boars. But, I do have an extreme case of arachnophobia, to the extent that I still cannot kill them myself. Well, one time about a year or two ago I was home alone with my baby sister and she was sleeping in the crib. Well, as luck would have it, there was a HUGE black spider on the wall right next to her. Normally I'd either have ignored it or had someone else kill it, but that wasn't an option. So, in a flash, as gross as it was, I just smashed it with my fist and then washed my hands till my skin peeled.

James,
I have a sister that shares your phobia and I have a different type of my own, so I think what both yeshua and you did was incredibly brave Smiley
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Only pray for me, that God would give me both inward and outward strength, that I may not only speak, but truly will; and that I may not merely be called a Christian, but really be found to be one. St.Ignatius of Antioch.Epistle to the Romans.
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