Author Topic: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...  (Read 3281 times)

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Offline TheTrisagion

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So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« on: June 24, 2013, 08:47:35 AM »
This weekend, Met. Philip of Antiochian Archdiocese is blessing the first Antiochian convent and I will have the opportunity to meet him.  What suggestions should I give him for improving the archdiocese.  I'm sure due to my great intellect and studious manners, everything I tell him will immediately be accepted and implemented.  Obviously, with great privilege comes great responsibility, so I need the recommendations of my fellow oc.net forumers to assist me as I guide the Metropolitan in the ways that he should go.  ;D
« Last Edit: June 24, 2013, 08:49:01 AM by TheTrisagion »
God bless!

Offline J Michael

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #1 on: June 24, 2013, 09:06:24 AM »
This weekend, Met. Philip of Antiochian Archdiocese is blessing the first Antiochian convent and I will have the opportunity to meet him.  What suggestions should I give him for improving the archdiocese.  I'm sure due to my great intellect and studious manners, everything I tell him will immediately be accepted and implemented.  Obviously, with great privilege comes great responsibility, so I need the recommendations of my fellow oc.net forumers to assist me as I guide the Metropolitan in the ways that he should go.  ;D

How much time will you have?  Or, more to the point, how much time does Met. Philip have? ;D  He is getting on in years now.

My only suggestion to you would be to advise him to, along with his fellow primates in North America, abdicate his throne, give up his power, consolidate ALL the jurisdictions here into one, and with his fellow bishops, elect one of their own as archbishop to oversee it all.  And do it now.  Why wait?  Simple, really.  It will solve all the problems of the Antiochian jurisdiction.  (Maybe.)  ;D
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Offline Fabio Leite

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #2 on: June 24, 2013, 09:10:43 AM »
From what we discuss in the forum:

1) A Committee for Missions Among the Extra-Terrestrials
2) A Committee for Evangelizing Mutants
3) An Exhibit of Memes for the Public Mockery of every single behavior in Church
4) The introduction of Sarcasm as the Eighth Cardinal Virtue
5) He could suggest to other hierarchs the calling of the first Truly Informed Christian Ecumenical Tolerant Council to point how the previous one were biased toward intolerance and misunderstanding, and what they got right is right only under certain conditions the Truly Informed Christian Ecumenical Tolerant Council will define.

This weekend, Met. Philip of Antiochian Archdiocese is blessing the first Antiochian convent and I will have the opportunity to meet him.  What suggestions should I give him for improving the archdiocese.  I'm sure due to my great intellect and studious manners, everything I tell him will immediately be accepted and implemented.  Obviously, with great privilege comes great responsibility, so I need the recommendations of my fellow oc.net forumers to assist me as I guide the Metropolitan in the ways that he should go.  ;D
« Last Edit: June 24, 2013, 09:11:18 AM by Fabio Leite »
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Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #3 on: June 24, 2013, 09:24:23 AM »
I will probably have the amount of time necessary to obtain a blessing from His Eminence.  I expect, however, that once he gives me a blessing, he will see what an erudite scholar I am and request a private meeting.  It will be at this meeting that I will be able to guide him on the proper direction of the archdiocese. 

Let's not be unrealistic, J Michael.  I am not convinced that the Metropolitan will be able to push through a unified Orthodoxy in America on his own, so that topic will likely not be broached in the first meeting, at least.
God bless!

Offline J Michael

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #4 on: June 24, 2013, 09:32:47 AM »
I will probably have the amount of time necessary to obtain a blessing from His Eminence.  I expect, however, that once he gives me a blessing, he will see what an erudite scholar I am and request a private meeting.  It will be at this meeting that I will be able to guide him on the proper direction of the archdiocese. 

Let's not be unrealistic, J Michael.  I am not convinced that the Metropolitan will be able to push through a unified Orthodoxy in America on his own, so that topic will likely not be broached in the first meeting, at least.

Surely someone as erudite, scholarly, and charismatic as yourself could make him instantly realize the ease and simplicity, not to mention the urgency,  with which this could, should, and MUST be done.
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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #5 on: June 24, 2013, 09:57:28 AM »
When I met him a few years ago, I just said hello, and we exchanged a few pleasantries.  And I received his blessing.  You might not have time for much else.  :P
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Offline Asteriktos

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #6 on: June 24, 2013, 10:01:22 AM »
This is a two step suggestion.

1) He should push for the creation of a pan-Orthodox research university in America, to be located in a place with a large population and a vibrant academic community.  Wheeling WV or Myrtle Beach SC are two such options.

2) He should then push for the dissolution of all major Orthodox seminaries (St. Vlads, St. Tikhons, Holy Cross, etc.) and colleges (St. Katerines, and... um...).   Not that they should be moved to the new research university, mind: just dissolve them.

Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #7 on: June 24, 2013, 10:05:37 AM »
When I met him a few years ago, I just said hello, and we exchanged a few pleasantries.  And I received his blessing.  You might not have time for much else.  :P
Are you implying that his Eminence will not immediately recognize my brilliance and seek my counsel?

Hmmm, I thought he was considered a wise man...

Perhaps I will need to have some quotes from the Fathers on hand to further impress him.
God bless!

Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #8 on: June 24, 2013, 10:07:38 AM »
This is a two step suggestion.

1) He should push for the creation of a pan-Orthodox research university in America, to be located in a place with a large population and a vibrant academic community.  Wheeling WV or Myrtle Beach SC are two such options.

2) He should then push for the dissolution of all major Orthodox seminaries (St. Vlads, St. Tikhons, Holy Cross, etc.) and colleges (St. Katerines, and... um...).   Not that they should be moved to the new research university, mind: just dissolve them.

See, this is the sort of innovative thinking that will get Orthodoxy to the next level!

Did I just say innovate?  Darn, I need to work on keeping that word out of my vocabulary.
God bless!

Offline Asteriktos

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #9 on: June 24, 2013, 10:08:30 AM »
When I met him a few years ago, I just said hello, and we exchanged a few pleasantries.  And I received his blessing.  You might not have time for much else.  :P
Are you implying that his Eminence will not immediately recognize my brilliance and seek my counsel?

Hmmm, I thought he was considered a wise man...

Perhaps I will need to have some quotes from the Fathers on hand to further impress him.

Tell him that you are working on a biography of him, to be published by one of the major literary publishers, and that you would really love to have him edit it for you. He will recognize your brilliance instantly!

Offline J Michael

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #10 on: June 24, 2013, 10:47:09 AM »
When I met him a few years ago, I just said hello, and we exchanged a few pleasantries.  And I received his blessing.  You might not have time for much else.  :P
Are you implying that his Eminence will not immediately recognize my brilliance and seek my counsel?

Hmmm, I thought he was considered a wise man...

Perhaps I will need to have some quotes from the Fathers on hand to further impress him.

Tell him that you are working on a biography of him, to be published by one of the major literary publishers, and that you would really love to have him edit it for you. He will recognize your brilliance instantly!

And you'll probably end up getting more time with him than you would have wished for could have dreamed of. :-*  (How old is he now??)
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Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #11 on: June 24, 2013, 10:54:13 AM »
When I met him a few years ago, I just said hello, and we exchanged a few pleasantries.  And I received his blessing.  You might not have time for much else.  :P
Are you implying that his Eminence will not immediately recognize my brilliance and seek my counsel?

Hmmm, I thought he was considered a wise man...

Perhaps I will need to have some quotes from the Fathers on hand to further impress him.

Tell him that you are working on a biography of him, to be published by one of the major literary publishers, and that you would really love to have him edit it for you. He will recognize your brilliance instantly!

And you'll probably end up getting more time with him than you would have wished for could have dreamed of. :-*  (How old is he now??)

I am pretty sure he is 84 or thereabouts.  I'm pretty excited actually.  I know I probably won't be able to actually talk to him, but meeting a metropolitan is a pretty big deal.  At least for me anyways.
God bless!

Offline James2

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #12 on: June 24, 2013, 11:44:02 AM »
Whatever you do, don't mention "audit".

Offline J Michael

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #13 on: June 24, 2013, 11:53:52 AM »
Whatever you do, don't mention "audit".

Ah...go on, be brave..... 8)!  You could say something like, "Audit, er.... I mean, bless, master."  ;D
« Last Edit: June 24, 2013, 11:54:06 AM by J Michael »
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Offline Nephi

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #14 on: June 24, 2013, 11:57:46 AM »
Tell him we don't really need monastics in North America after all. 8)

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #15 on: June 24, 2013, 12:31:01 PM »
Tell him he needs to start growing a beard.
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Offline J Michael

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #16 on: June 24, 2013, 12:53:11 PM »
Tell him he needs to start growing a beard.

Ah, yes...the beard.
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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #17 on: June 24, 2013, 12:56:34 PM »
What suggestions should I give him for improving the archdiocese.

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Offline J Michael

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #18 on: June 24, 2013, 01:23:27 PM »
What suggestions should I give him for improving the archdiocese.

Anathema

 ???
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Offline Agabus

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #19 on: June 24, 2013, 01:30:12 PM »
When I met him a few years ago, I just said hello, and we exchanged a few pleasantries.  And I received his blessing.  You might not have time for much else.  :P
Are you implying that his Eminence will not immediately recognize my brilliance and seek my counsel?

Hmmm, I thought he was considered a wise man...

Perhaps I will need to have some quotes from the Fathers on hand to further impress him.

Tell him that you are working on a biography of him, to be published by one of the major literary publishers, and that you would really love to have him edit it for you. He will recognize your brilliance instantly!
LOL.

And He Leads Them: The Mind and Heart of Philip Saliba is a required text for the St. Stephen's program.

Blessed Nazarius practiced the ascetic life. His clothes were tattered. He wore his shoes without removing them for six years.

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Offline J Michael

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #20 on: June 24, 2013, 01:48:28 PM »
When I met him a few years ago, I just said hello, and we exchanged a few pleasantries.  And I received his blessing.  You might not have time for much else.  :P
Are you implying that his Eminence will not immediately recognize my brilliance and seek my counsel?

Hmmm, I thought he was considered a wise man...

Perhaps I will need to have some quotes from the Fathers on hand to further impress him.

Tell him that you are working on a biography of him, to be published by one of the major literary publishers, and that you would really love to have him edit it for you. He will recognize your brilliance instantly!
LOL.

And He Leads Them: The Mind and Heart of Philip Saliba is a required text for the St. Stephen's program.



Oy.  Vey.   ::)
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Offline James2

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #21 on: June 24, 2013, 03:27:18 PM »
When I met him a few years ago, I just said hello, and we exchanged a few pleasantries.  And I received his blessing.  You might not have time for much else.  :P
Are you implying that his Eminence will not immediately recognize my brilliance and seek my counsel?

Hmmm, I thought he was considered a wise man...

Perhaps I will need to have some quotes from the Fathers on hand to further impress him.

Tell him that you are working on a biography of him, to be published by one of the major literary publishers, and that you would really love to have him edit it for you. He will recognize your brilliance instantly!
LOL.

And He Leads Them: The Mind and Heart of Philip Saliba is a required text for the St. Stephen's program.



Oy.  Vey.   ::)

When I stayed at Antiochian Village about 12 years ago there was a copy of Met. Philip's authorized biography in my room.  Didn't look in any other rooms, but it seems likely that it was in them also.  Probably still is.

Offline J Michael

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #22 on: June 24, 2013, 03:30:42 PM »
When I met him a few years ago, I just said hello, and we exchanged a few pleasantries.  And I received his blessing.  You might not have time for much else.  :P
Are you implying that his Eminence will not immediately recognize my brilliance and seek my counsel?

Hmmm, I thought he was considered a wise man...

Perhaps I will need to have some quotes from the Fathers on hand to further impress him.

Tell him that you are working on a biography of him, to be published by one of the major literary publishers, and that you would really love to have him edit it for you. He will recognize your brilliance instantly!
LOL.

And He Leads Them: The Mind and Heart of Philip Saliba is a required text for the St. Stephen's program.



Oy.  Vey.   ::)

When I stayed at Antiochian Village about 12 years ago there was a copy of Met. Philip's authorized biography in my room.  Didn't look in any other rooms, but it seems likely that it was in them also.  Probably still is.

The Antiochian version of the Gideon Bible, eh? ::)
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Offline Asteriktos

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #23 on: June 24, 2013, 03:33:34 PM »
Some further questions if you have the time:

- Do you know you are missing an "L" in your name?

- I know an Antiochian priest who wears clerical garb outside the confines of his parish. Who do I report him to?

- How do I navigate the raging rapids of traditionalism, and avoid being swept out to the open sea of modernity, so that I can be brought once again safely to the harbor of Orthodoxy?

- I am studying to become a paleontologist, and one of the unspoken rules is that I am supposed to have a big bushy beard. However, I know in Orthodoxy that anything more than a goatee is hyperdox nonsense. What should I do?

« Last Edit: June 24, 2013, 03:35:21 PM by Asteriktos »

Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #24 on: June 24, 2013, 03:35:17 PM »
Some further questions if you have the time:

- Do you know you are missing an "L" in your name?

- I know an Antiochian priest who wears clerical garb outside the confines of his parish. Who do I report him to?

- I am studying to become an paleontologist, and one of the unspoken rules it that I am supposed to have a big bushy beard. However, I know in Orthodoxy that anything more than a goatee is hyperdox nonsense. What should I do?

- How do I navigate the raging rapids of traditionalism, and avoid being swept out to the open sea of modernity, so that I can be brought once again safely to the harbor of Orthodoxy?

This made me LOL.  :D  Asteriktos, I demand that you immediately post 3 more times in this thread so that you will hit 21,000 in my thread.  It would be a greater honor than even meeting the metropolitan.
God bless!

Offline Ruprecht

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #25 on: June 24, 2013, 03:41:35 PM »
Just remember, if you do say "How did the audit work out?", be ready to Duck And Cover! And be wearing track shoes for a quick exit..

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #26 on: June 24, 2013, 03:49:07 PM »
What suggestions should I give him for improving the archdiocese.

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Offline Asteriktos

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #27 on: June 24, 2013, 04:57:19 PM »

Offline Asteriktos

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #28 on: June 24, 2013, 05:20:59 PM »
A few more:

- We want to start a parish library but are running into some difficulties. Deacon Nicholas wants to donate his collection of works by Fr. Seraphim Rose, but Father Alexander and Mr. Theodore thinks this is a bad idea since they do not like his theology at all and thinks it could cause confusion. On the other hand Mr. Theodore wants to include works by Jung, Nietzsche, and others of a similarly unorthodox phronema. Mr. Theodore has argued vehemently that we should "know our enemy," and that besides this that there is much of value in such authors, just as the ancient Fathers read the pagans and took what was beneficial and ignored what was harmful in them. Both Deacon Nicholas and Fr. Alexander are in agreement that such secular authors are unacceptable and out of place in a parish library. However, a substantial donation from Mr. Theodore accounts for 80% of the entire budget for the library, and besides that it is his wife Patricia who is going to be in charge of it. How can we resolve this?

- Another problem in our parish concerns an icon. There is a really, really, really ugly icon of St. Fyodor the Black, which almost everyone hates to even look at. However, Fr. Alexander fears that if we get rid of it that those who donated it, the Stephanzinsky family, will get mad and leave. We thought that we might be able to avoid this by offering the icon to you. We can then tell Bob and Ruby Stephanzinsky that we will make a sacrifice in the parish by giving up our "prized" icon for the betterment of the archdiocese at large, thereby making everyone happy. Of course, it is you, Met. Philip, who would be making the real sacrifice by accepting this icon. Will you undertake this ascetic podvig and help us in this matter?

- One further matter that we need resolved. I have a terrible foot fetish, as do many members of our parish. Yet several ladies refuse to properly cover their feet during services, despite being terrible temptations to us. Does not modesty require someone to cover themselves if they are causing others to lust? I mean, really, how hard is it to find a pair of boots? Would you please release an announcement that outlines the standards of Christian decorum and propriety that is expected of Orthodox Christians?
« Last Edit: June 24, 2013, 05:23:02 PM by Asteriktos »

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #29 on: June 24, 2013, 06:24:02 PM »
A few more:

- We want to start a parish library but are running into some difficulties. Deacon Nicholas wants to donate his collection of works by Fr. Seraphim Rose, but Father Alexander and Mr. Theodore thinks this is a bad idea since they do not like his theology at all and thinks it could cause confusion. On the other hand Mr. Theodore wants to include works by Jung, Nietzsche, and others of a similarly unorthodox phronema. Mr. Theodore has argued vehemently that we should "know our enemy," and that besides this that there is much of value in such authors, just as the ancient Fathers read the pagans and took what was beneficial and ignored what was harmful in them. Both Deacon Nicholas and Fr. Alexander are in agreement that such secular authors are unacceptable and out of place in a parish library. However, a substantial donation from Mr. Theodore accounts for 80% of the entire budget for the library, and besides that it is his wife Patricia who is going to be in charge of it. How can we resolve this?

- Another problem in our parish concerns an icon. There is a really, really, really ugly icon of St. Fyodor the Black, which almost everyone hates to even look at. However, Fr. Alexander fears that if we get rid of it that those who donated it, the Stephanzinsky family, will get mad and leave. We thought that we might be able to avoid this by offering the icon to you. We can then tell Bob and Ruby Stephanzinsky that we will make a sacrifice in the parish by giving up our "prized" icon for the betterment of the archdiocese at large, thereby making everyone happy. Of course, it is you, Met. Philip, who would be making the real sacrifice by accepting this icon. Will you undertake this ascetic podvig and help us in this matter?

- One further matter that we need resolved. I have a terrible foot fetish, as do many members of our parish. Yet several ladies refuse to properly cover their feet during services, despite being terrible temptations to us. Does not modesty require someone to cover themselves if they are causing others to lust? I mean, really, how hard is it to find a pair of boots? Would you please release an announcement that outlines the standards of Christian decorum and propriety that is expected of Orthodox Christians?
:D PoM nomination!
"For, by its immensity, the divine substance surpasses every form that our intellect reaches. Thus we are unable to apprehend it by knowing what it is. Yet we are able to have some knowledge of it by knowing what it is not." - St. Thomas Aquinas, Summa contra gentiles, I, 14.

Offline mike

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #30 on: June 24, 2013, 06:47:04 PM »
:D PoM nomination!

Too late. I've nominated it myself
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Offline podkarpatska

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #31 on: June 24, 2013, 06:55:45 PM »
When I met him a few years ago, I just said hello, and we exchanged a few pleasantries.  And I received his blessing.  You might not have time for much else.  :P
Are you implying that his Eminence will not immediately recognize my brilliance and seek my counsel?

Hmmm, I thought he was considered a wise man...

Perhaps I will need to have some quotes from the Fathers on hand to further impress him.

Tell him that you are working on a biography of him, to be published by one of the major literary publishers, and that you would really love to have him edit it for you. He will recognize your brilliance instantly!
LOL.

And He Leads Them: The Mind and Heart of Philip Saliba is a required text for the St. Stephen's program.



Oy.  Vey.   ::)

Do you have any screenwriter friends or producers?  It could be a loose connection. I went to Rod Serling's high school and one of my classmates whom I don't really remember just won a Tony for something no one ever heard of on Broadway.  Something like that.....

Offline Hiwot

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #32 on: June 24, 2013, 10:34:58 PM »
When I decided to check out this thread I did not expect it to be this hilarious. Bunch of naughty boys plotting delightful mischief. Love it! LOL
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Only pray for me, that God would give me both inward and outward strength, that I may not only speak, but truly will; and that I may not merely be called a Christian, but really be found to be one. St.Ignatius of Antioch.Epistle to the Romans.

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #33 on: June 25, 2013, 09:41:45 AM »
When I met him a few years ago, I just said hello, and we exchanged a few pleasantries.  And I received his blessing.  You might not have time for much else.  :P
Are you implying that his Eminence will not immediately recognize my brilliance and seek my counsel?

Hmmm, I thought he was considered a wise man...

Perhaps I will need to have some quotes from the Fathers on hand to further impress him.

Tell him that you are working on a biography of him, to be published by one of the major literary publishers, and that you would really love to have him edit it for you. He will recognize your brilliance instantly!
LOL.

And He Leads Them: The Mind and Heart of Philip Saliba is a required text for the St. Stephen's program.



Oy.  Vey.   ::)

Do you have any screenwriter friends or producers?  It could be a loose connection. I went to Rod Serling's high school and one of my classmates whom I don't really remember just won a Tony for something no one ever heard of on Broadway.  Something like that.....

Fortunately not--they're a really odd bunch  8) .  I knew Ray Bradbury's daughter in junior high, and a very close but now deceased relative of mine was a screenwriter.  Are you looking to get a "reality" (hahahaha!) show or sitcom about the Antiochians going or something?  Or maybe you'd be better off with a Bruce Willis type "action" flick.  I wonder who the baddie would be?  ;D  Maybe Willis could play, oh, I don't know....Bp. Thomas? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
"Sometimes you're the windshield.  Sometimes you're the bug." ~ Mark Knopfler (?)

Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: So I'm meeting Met. Philip...
« Reply #34 on: June 25, 2013, 10:17:12 AM »
A few more:

- We want to start a parish library but are running into some difficulties. Deacon Nicholas wants to donate his collection of works by Fr. Seraphim Rose, but Father Alexander and Mr. Theodore thinks this is a bad idea since they do not like his theology at all and thinks it could cause confusion. On the other hand Mr. Theodore wants to include works by Jung, Nietzsche, and others of a similarly unorthodox phronema. Mr. Theodore has argued vehemently that we should "know our enemy," and that besides this that there is much of value in such authors, just as the ancient Fathers read the pagans and took what was beneficial and ignored what was harmful in them. Both Deacon Nicholas and Fr. Alexander are in agreement that such secular authors are unacceptable and out of place in a parish library. However, a substantial donation from Mr. Theodore accounts for 80% of the entire budget for the library, and besides that it is his wife Patricia who is going to be in charge of it. How can we resolve this?

- Another problem in our parish concerns an icon. There is a really, really, really ugly icon of St. Fyodor the Black, which almost everyone hates to even look at. However, Fr. Alexander fears that if we get rid of it that those who donated it, the Stephanzinsky family, will get mad and leave. We thought that we might be able to avoid this by offering the icon to you. We can then tell Bob and Ruby Stephanzinsky that we will make a sacrifice in the parish by giving up our "prized" icon for the betterment of the archdiocese at large, thereby making everyone happy. Of course, it is you, Met. Philip, who would be making the real sacrifice by accepting this icon. Will you undertake this ascetic podvig and help us in this matter?

- One further matter that we need resolved. I have a terrible foot fetish, as do many members of our parish. Yet several ladies refuse to properly cover their feet during services, despite being terrible temptations to us. Does not modesty require someone to cover themselves if they are causing others to lust? I mean, really, how hard is it to find a pair of boots? Would you please release an announcement that outlines the standards of Christian decorum and propriety that is expected of Orthodox Christians?

I am disturbed at how well Asteriktos seems to know my parish!  ;D
God bless!