No Liza, my point is that dating can lead to different outcomes. Our dear JamesR may end up dating several women and may decide monasticism is more of his calling.
Again I think that Anastasia1 should go on some dates and have some fun with it. This notion that if you could see yourself possibly marrying the other person on a first date is ridiculous. It may take quite some time until it is revealed if you could possibly marry someone.
I think folks on this forum are really advocating a form of prearranged marriage than anything else. You know this sort of checklist for what the other person needs to fulfill, which to me is a removal of any sort of romance. It's like online dating. I remember trying to register on eHarmony for some laughs and it seriously took me well over 30 minutes to create a profile because you had to be so specific on exactly what you are looking for. I think it is sheer insanity to project a fantasy of what we want in another person to fit in our box. It is too far removed from actually engaging with a person, and you really start to make people turn into standardized tests.
"No I can't really fall in love with you unless you have a credit score of 735, have an index finger length of 4.65", and like diet Snapple iced tea", do you see how absurd this sounds? And this is the future of dating? How frightening. And you are doing the same here "Well I can't fall in love or dive into the passion of romance unless I know I want to marry you.", but again that is nonsense.
As for me, I would rather be swirled up in the mystery of romantic love with no pragmatism. There is an inherent risk with romance that I find to be absolutely thrilling, especially with passion. I don't believe that love should be a checklist of what qualities another person should have nor do I think there is a measurable goal of marriage, either. Why are these requisites to love? They are not. I may very well be in love with another person that I may not actually see myself marrying, perhaps we cannot unify ourselves to be one person and we have divergent personalities or something.