LOL "love." You guys crack me up.James, I know this may come as a shock to you, but you do realize women are living, breathing, feeling, actual people, don't you? They are just as real as men with dreams, goals, plans, needs...just like us.
I don't see why "love" matters so much. I could "love" someone but be completely incompatible with them or they could not be what I want at all. I don't want a wife that I "love," I want a wife that is compatible with my expectations for the marriage.
I just want a wife to help me complete chores, upkeep the house, raise children, satisfy my male urges, and possibly work if I ever get injured and have to take time off. In return for this, I work and she gets to spend my money. I could care less if we love each other. To me, marriage is more of a mutual agreement that benefits us; not some romanticized "love" thing.
Now, once you pick yourself up from falling out of your chair, go find a woman and speak to her like a real person. You may even have a real conversation.
What is it with people here always acting like I don't consider women people? I never said they aren't. The thing is, I don't get "dreams, goals, plans, needs," and "love" and all of that other stuff that everyone fantasizes about. I'm one of the most emotionally detached persons you will ever meet. I don't care about "loving" a woman or if she "loves" me. If we do fall in love, that's good. But that's not my primary concern. My primary concern is finding someone compatible who can fulfill my expectations for marriage and whose expectations I can meet. I want an efficient marriage; not a loving one. I want a wife that can help me in life, regardless of whether or not she loves me. I'd rather be married to someone efficient who I absolutely hate than someone inept who I love.
Understand completely what you are saying, but you know brother, there is something much more about all of that done in love.
A wife that WANTS to give you children because she loves you, and you want children with her because you love her.... All of the things done in love, rather than expectation....
For instance, my children expect me to feed them, give them clothes, shelter, and protection. I expect them to do chores, respect my wife and I, work hard in school/study, and have faith. When we add it all up, the most tender moments is the BOND, which is love. The kiss goodnight and telling them that you "love them", gives credence for everything else you do for them. It is the assurance of true acceptance. The bond of love means everything.
With a spouse, it is the same thing, and even stronger. The bond of love, mutual trust, and true care for one another gives beauty in every sacrifice and joy done together. True love means you can look over, and know that you'd take care of your spouse even if she became a paraplegic... You know you'd be there through the thick and the thin, even if they were not able to function at all. Love also means that you'd honestly die for your spouse or your children. (As Christ died for us)
The function of a marriage is based in love. The woman who you spend the rest of your life with, you should love her as yourself. She will be one flesh with you... Eastern Orthodoxy adorns those being married with the crown of martyrs, symbolizing the death of your old lives, and joined together. Love will make this sacrifice of self, one of the most joyous occasions in your life.