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Author Topic: Death Cafes (New York Times article)  (Read 440 times) Average Rating: 0
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GTAsoldier
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« on: June 17, 2013, 09:53:09 AM »

Peace,

I was just reading this article on the New York Times regarding Death Cafes. They are basically discussion groups held over a cup of coffee that talk about death, mortality, and the philosophy behind them. I wanted to share this with you because I think this is something that people in general should come to terms with. I'm of the opinion that we, as a society/culture, are "death-denying". As the article mentions: " A major part of American society is very averse to thinking about dying."

If any of you are subscribers to the NY Times, I think the entire article should be available for viewing. If its not, let me know. I just want to get your thoughts on the matter.

Thanks,

Jade

Quote
The group, which meets monthly, is called a Death Cafe, one of many such gatherings that have sprung up in nearly 40 cities around the country in the last year. Offshoots of the “café mortel” movement that emerged in Switzerland and France about 10 years ago, these are not grief support groups or end-of-life planning sessions, but rather casual forums for people who want to bat around philosophical thoughts. What is death like? Why do we fear it? How do our views of death inform the way we live?

“Death and grief are topics avoided at all costs in our society,” said Audrey Pellicano, 60, who hosts the New York Death Cafe, which will hold its fifth meeting on Wednesday. “If we talk about them, maybe we won’t fear them as much.”
« Last Edit: June 17, 2013, 09:55:18 AM by GTAsoldier » Logged

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« Reply #1 on: June 17, 2013, 09:57:56 AM »

Peace,

I was just reading this article on the New York Times regarding Death Cafes. They are basically discussion groups held over a cup of coffee that talk about death, mortality, and the philosophy behind them. I wanted to share this with you because I think this is something that people in general should come to terms with. I'm of the opinion that we, as a society/culture, are "death-denying". As the article mentions: " major part of American society is very averse to thinking about dying."

If any of you are subscribers to the NY Times, I think the entire article should be available for viewing. If its not, let me know. I just want to get your thoughts on the matter.

Thanks,

Jade

Quote
The group, which meets monthly, is called a Death Cafe, one of many such gatherings that have sprung up in nearly 40 cities around the country in the last year. Offshoots of the “café mortel” movement that emerged in Switzerland and France about 10 years ago, these are not grief support groups or end-of-life planning sessions, but rather casual forums for people who want to bat around philosophical thoughts. What is death like? Why do we fear it? How do our views of death inform the way we live?

“Death and grief are topics avoided at all costs in our society,” said Audrey Pellicano, 60, who hosts the New York Death Cafe, which will hold its fifth meeting on Wednesday. “If we talk about them, maybe we won’t fear them as much.”

I took a course in college called Death Ed. It was new at the time and I dont know if they still offer it. Talking about death too much is one of the last taboos.

There are internet cafe's dedicated to people who want to commit suicide. When you sign up they say "Welcome. Sorry you are here"

They exchange technical tips on how to kill yourself. When someone is ready to actually do it, they use code and say "I am going to catch the bus tonight"

Very sad.. 
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« Reply #2 on: June 17, 2013, 10:01:35 AM »

Fwiw I can see the article...

There are internet cafe's dedicated to people who want to commit suicide. When you sign up they say "Welcome. Sorry you are here"

They exchange technical tips on how to kill yourself. When someone is ready to actually do it, they use code and say "I am going to catch the bus tonight"

I've sometimes wondered if there were such places. It seems like the methods most successful for killing yourself are often the messiest. I mean, sure a gunshot to the head with a decently sized gun will do the trick, but what a mess for the clean up people, the people who prepare your body at the funeral home, etc., not to mention the trauma to family and friends. Alas, humane assisted suicide is not yet legal here in PA...
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« Reply #3 on: June 17, 2013, 10:05:27 AM »

Peace,

I was just reading this article on the New York Times regarding Death Cafes. They are basically discussion groups held over a cup of coffee that talk about death, mortality, and the philosophy behind them. I wanted to share this with you because I think this is something that people in general should come to terms with. I'm of the opinion that we, as a society/culture, are "death-denying". As the article mentions: " A major part of American society is very averse to thinking about dying."

If any of you are subscribers to the NY Times, I think the entire article should be available for viewing. If its not, let me know. I just want to get your thoughts on the matter.

Thanks,

Jade

Quote
The group, which meets monthly, is called a Death Cafe, one of many such gatherings that have sprung up in nearly 40 cities around the country in the last year. Offshoots of the “café mortel” movement that emerged in Switzerland and France about 10 years ago, these are not grief support groups or end-of-life planning sessions, but rather casual forums for people who want to bat around philosophical thoughts. What is death like? Why do we fear it? How do our views of death inform the way we live?

“Death and grief are topics avoided at all costs in our society,” said Audrey Pellicano, 60, who hosts the New York Death Cafe, which will hold its fifth meeting on Wednesday. “If we talk about them, maybe we won’t fear them as much.”

I guess these folks haven't heard the Good News.  Or if they have, they have either rejected or misunderstood it--or both.  That is what is sad.




Ever see the film "Flatliners"??
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« Reply #4 on: June 17, 2013, 10:06:15 AM »

Fwiw I can see the article...

There are internet cafe's dedicated to people who want to commit suicide. When you sign up they say "Welcome. Sorry you are here"

They exchange technical tips on how to kill yourself. When someone is ready to actually do it, they use code and say "I am going to catch the bus tonight"

I've sometimes wondered if there were such places. It seems like the methods most successful for killing yourself are often the messiest. I mean, sure a gunshot to the head with a decently sized gun will do the trick, but what a mess for the clean up people, the people who prepare your body at the funeral home, etc., not to mention the trauma to family and friends. Alas, humane assisted suicide is not yet legal here in PA...

This really has nothing to do with the op.
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« Reply #5 on: June 17, 2013, 10:09:55 AM »

Peace,

I was just reading this article on the New York Times regarding Death Cafes. They are basically discussion groups held over a cup of coffee that talk about death, mortality, and the philosophy behind them. I wanted to share this with you because I think this is something that people in general should come to terms with. I'm of the opinion that we, as a society/culture, are "death-denying". As the article mentions: " A major part of American society is very averse to thinking about dying."

If any of you are subscribers to the NY Times, I think the entire article should be available for viewing. If its not, let me know. I just want to get your thoughts on the matter.

Thanks,

Jade

Quote
The group, which meets monthly, is called a Death Cafe, one of many such gatherings that have sprung up in nearly 40 cities around the country in the last year. Offshoots of the “café mortel” movement that emerged in Switzerland and France about 10 years ago, these are not grief support groups or end-of-life planning sessions, but rather casual forums for people who want to bat around philosophical thoughts. What is death like? Why do we fear it? How do our views of death inform the way we live?

“Death and grief are topics avoided at all costs in our society,” said Audrey Pellicano, 60, who hosts the New York Death Cafe, which will hold its fifth meeting on Wednesday. “If we talk about them, maybe we won’t fear them as much.”

I guess these folks haven't heard the Good News.  Or if they have, they have either rejected or misunderstood it--or both.  That is what is sad.




Ever see the film "Flatliners"??

Or they are very depressed. It has nothing to do with rejection or miss understanding of Christianity. We have a depressed fellow in our Parish. Very pious young guy. Family is Orthodox.. We worry when he doesnt show up that he has done himself in.
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« Reply #6 on: June 17, 2013, 10:15:14 AM »

Peace,

I was just reading this article on the New York Times regarding Death Cafes. They are basically discussion groups held over a cup of coffee that talk about death, mortality, and the philosophy behind them. I wanted to share this with you because I think this is something that people in general should come to terms with. I'm of the opinion that we, as a society/culture, are "death-denying". As the article mentions: " A major part of American society is very averse to thinking about dying."

If any of you are subscribers to the NY Times, I think the entire article should be available for viewing. If its not, let me know. I just want to get your thoughts on the matter.

Thanks,

Jade

Quote
The group, which meets monthly, is called a Death Cafe, one of many such gatherings that have sprung up in nearly 40 cities around the country in the last year. Offshoots of the “café mortel” movement that emerged in Switzerland and France about 10 years ago, these are not grief support groups or end-of-life planning sessions, but rather casual forums for people who want to bat around philosophical thoughts. What is death like? Why do we fear it? How do our views of death inform the way we live?

“Death and grief are topics avoided at all costs in our society,” said Audrey Pellicano, 60, who hosts the New York Death Cafe, which will hold its fifth meeting on Wednesday. “If we talk about them, maybe we won’t fear them as much.”

I guess these folks haven't heard the Good News.  Or if they have, they have either rejected or misunderstood it--or both.  That is what is sad.




Ever see the film "Flatliners"??

Or they are very depressed. It has nothing to do with rejection or miss understanding of Christianity. We have a depressed fellow in our Parish. Very pious young guy. Family is Orthodox.. We worry when he doesnt show up that he has done himself in.

Okay, okay.  But the op, and the linked article were about a philosophical discussion of death, not about depression and suicide.
Quote
these are not grief support groups or end-of-life planning sessions, but rather casual forums for people who want to bat around philosophical thoughts. What is death like? Why do we fear it? How do our views of death inform the way we live
http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/06/16/death-be-not-decaffeinated-over-cup-groups-face-taboo/
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« Reply #7 on: June 17, 2013, 10:27:20 AM »

I'm of the opinion that we, as a society/culture, are "death-denying". As the article mentions: " A major part of American society is very averse to thinking about dying."

This is a sentiment which gets more than a lot of lip service but frankly I don't buy it.

If a relative alien to this time and place were to observe American "society" I think they just might come away with the notion we are absolutely obsessed with death.
« Last Edit: June 17, 2013, 10:27:31 AM by orthonorm » Logged

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« Reply #8 on: June 17, 2013, 11:04:06 AM »

I'm of the opinion that we, as a society/culture, are "death-denying". As the article mentions: " A major part of American society is very averse to thinking about dying."

This is a sentiment which gets more than a lot of lip service but frankly I don't buy it.

If a relative alien to this time and place were to observe American "society" I think they just might come away with the notion we are absolutely obsessed with death.

I would say we're obsessed with the death of others and often only in abstract form or via fiction.  My wife and I actually discuss this topic quite a bit, largely because we have been almost immersed in the deaths of those close to us for going on three years now.  It's quite interesting to see how the various people we know view death and react to it.  Think of all the "life celebrations" we have nowadays as opposed to funerals.  People want to avoid mourning so much that they won't even call it a funeral anymore.  And then there's the tendency to practically canonize the dead which serves no purpose other than self gratification.  I'm not saying we should sit there and recount the failings of the deceased (that's just as bad) but by no means should we act as if s/he was the second coming.  Except my mother.  She's a living saint and will be officially canonized after her death by the local RC ordinary. Wink

Ozgeorge recently wrote on facebook something to the effect of, "When I die, I want a funeral, not a life celebration. If you want to celebrate my life, do it with me while I'm still here."  It seems a bit trite on the surface but I think it's actually pretty profound, at least in my experience.  

I wish I could write more but typing with one of my hands in a cast is a literal and figurative pain, so this will have to do.
« Last Edit: June 17, 2013, 11:04:43 AM by Schultz » Logged

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« Reply #9 on: June 17, 2013, 11:14:10 AM »

They are basically discussion groups held over a cup of coffee that talk about death, mortality, and the philosophy behind them.

Sounds like sweet revenge for the goths that lived their teens virtually on suicide watch. Cheesy
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« Reply #10 on: June 17, 2013, 11:23:25 AM »

Peace,

I was just reading this article on the New York Times regarding Death Cafes. They are basically discussion groups held over a cup of coffee that talk about death, mortality, and the philosophy behind them. I wanted to share this with you because I think this is something that people in general should come to terms with. I'm of the opinion that we, as a society/culture, are "death-denying". As the article mentions: " A major part of American society is very averse to thinking about dying."

If any of you are subscribers to the NY Times, I think the entire article should be available for viewing. If its not, let me know. I just want to get your thoughts on the matter.

Thanks,

Jade

Quote
The group, which meets monthly, is called a Death Cafe, one of many such gatherings that have sprung up in nearly 40 cities around the country in the last year. Offshoots of the “café mortel” movement that emerged in Switzerland and France about 10 years ago, these are not grief support groups or end-of-life planning sessions, but rather casual forums for people who want to bat around philosophical thoughts. What is death like? Why do we fear it? How do our views of death inform the way we live?

“Death and grief are topics avoided at all costs in our society,” said Audrey Pellicano, 60, who hosts the New York Death Cafe, which will hold its fifth meeting on Wednesday. “If we talk about them, maybe we won’t fear them as much.”

I guess these folks haven't heard the Good News.  Or if they have, they have either rejected or misunderstood it--or both.  That is what is sad.




Ever see the film "Flatliners"??

Or they are very depressed. It has nothing to do with rejection or miss understanding of Christianity. We have a depressed fellow in our Parish. Very pious young guy. Family is Orthodox.. We worry when he doesnt show up that he has done himself in.

Okay, okay.  But the op, and the linked article were about a philosophical discussion of death, not about depression and suicide.
Quote
these are not grief support groups or end-of-life planning sessions, but rather casual forums for people who want to bat around philosophical thoughts. What is death like? Why do we fear it? How do our views of death inform the way we live
http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/06/16/death-be-not-decaffeinated-over-cup-groups-face-taboo/

But YOU were commenting on the suicide cafe's.. And got a reply to what YOU wrote...
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« Reply #11 on: June 17, 2013, 11:39:23 AM »

Peace,

I was just reading this article on the New York Times regarding Death Cafes. They are basically discussion groups held over a cup of coffee that talk about death, mortality, and the philosophy behind them. I wanted to share this with you because I think this is something that people in general should come to terms with. I'm of the opinion that we, as a society/culture, are "death-denying". As the article mentions: " A major part of American society is very averse to thinking about dying."

If any of you are subscribers to the NY Times, I think the entire article should be available for viewing. If its not, let me know. I just want to get your thoughts on the matter.

Thanks,

Jade

Quote
The group, which meets monthly, is called a Death Cafe, one of many such gatherings that have sprung up in nearly 40 cities around the country in the last year. Offshoots of the “café mortel” movement that emerged in Switzerland and France about 10 years ago, these are not grief support groups or end-of-life planning sessions, but rather casual forums for people who want to bat around philosophical thoughts. What is death like? Why do we fear it? How do our views of death inform the way we live?

“Death and grief are topics avoided at all costs in our society,” said Audrey Pellicano, 60, who hosts the New York Death Cafe, which will hold its fifth meeting on Wednesday. “If we talk about them, maybe we won’t fear them as much.”

I guess these folks haven't heard the Good News.  Or if they have, they have either rejected or misunderstood it--or both.  That is what is sad.




Ever see the film "Flatliners"??

Or they are very depressed. It has nothing to do with rejection or miss understanding of Christianity. We have a depressed fellow in our Parish. Very pious young guy. Family is Orthodox.. We worry when he doesnt show up that he has done himself in.

Okay, okay.  But the op, and the linked article were about a philosophical discussion of death, not about depression and suicide.
Quote
these are not grief support groups or end-of-life planning sessions, but rather casual forums for people who want to bat around philosophical thoughts. What is death like? Why do we fear it? How do our views of death inform the way we live
http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/06/16/death-be-not-decaffeinated-over-cup-groups-face-taboo/

But YOU were commenting on the suicide cafe's.. And got a reply to what YOU wrote...

I was?  Huh

I commented first on the OP and then on your post, stating that your post had nothing to do with the OP.
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« Reply #12 on: June 17, 2013, 11:52:57 AM »

Peace,

I was just reading this article on the New York Times regarding Death Cafes. They are basically discussion groups held over a cup of coffee that talk about death, mortality, and the philosophy behind them. I wanted to share this with you because I think this is something that people in general should come to terms with. I'm of the opinion that we, as a society/culture, are "death-denying". As the article mentions: " A major part of American society is very averse to thinking about dying."

If any of you are subscribers to the NY Times, I think the entire article should be available for viewing. If its not, let me know. I just want to get your thoughts on the matter.

Thanks,

Jade

Quote
The group, which meets monthly, is called a Death Cafe, one of many such gatherings that have sprung up in nearly 40 cities around the country in the last year. Offshoots of the “café mortel” movement that emerged in Switzerland and France about 10 years ago, these are not grief support groups or end-of-life planning sessions, but rather casual forums for people who want to bat around philosophical thoughts. What is death like? Why do we fear it? How do our views of death inform the way we live?

“Death and grief are topics avoided at all costs in our society,” said Audrey Pellicano, 60, who hosts the New York Death Cafe, which will hold its fifth meeting on Wednesday. “If we talk about them, maybe we won’t fear them as much.”

I guess these folks haven't heard the Good News.  Or if they have, they have either rejected or misunderstood it--or both.  That is what is sad.




Ever see the film "Flatliners"??

Or they are very depressed. It has nothing to do with rejection or miss understanding of Christianity. We have a depressed fellow in our Parish. Very pious young guy. Family is Orthodox.. We worry when he doesnt show up that he has done himself in.

Okay, okay.  But the op, and the linked article were about a philosophical discussion of death, not about depression and suicide.
Quote
these are not grief support groups or end-of-life planning sessions, but rather casual forums for people who want to bat around philosophical thoughts. What is death like? Why do we fear it? How do our views of death inform the way we live
http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/06/16/death-be-not-decaffeinated-over-cup-groups-face-taboo/

But YOU were commenting on the suicide cafe's.. And got a reply to what YOU wrote...

I was?  Huh

I commented first on the OP and then on your post, stating that your post had nothing to do with the OP.

May goodness man. What's wrong with you?

I made a comment about a type of death cafe, spot on topic. You  posted something dumb, I replied.. . Please try not to derail this thread. I'll do my part and ignore anything you post.

Thanks
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« Reply #13 on: June 17, 2013, 11:59:16 AM »

Peace,

I was just reading this article on the New York Times regarding Death Cafes. They are basically discussion groups held over a cup of coffee that talk about death, mortality, and the philosophy behind them. I wanted to share this with you because I think this is something that people in general should come to terms with. I'm of the opinion that we, as a society/culture, are "death-denying". As the article mentions: " A major part of American society is very averse to thinking about dying."

If any of you are subscribers to the NY Times, I think the entire article should be available for viewing. If its not, let me know. I just want to get your thoughts on the matter.

Thanks,

Jade

Quote
The group, which meets monthly, is called a Death Cafe, one of many such gatherings that have sprung up in nearly 40 cities around the country in the last year. Offshoots of the “café mortel” movement that emerged in Switzerland and France about 10 years ago, these are not grief support groups or end-of-life planning sessions, but rather casual forums for people who want to bat around philosophical thoughts. What is death like? Why do we fear it? How do our views of death inform the way we live?

“Death and grief are topics avoided at all costs in our society,” said Audrey Pellicano, 60, who hosts the New York Death Cafe, which will hold its fifth meeting on Wednesday. “If we talk about them, maybe we won’t fear them as much.”

I guess these folks haven't heard the Good News.  Or if they have, they have either rejected or misunderstood it--or both.  That is what is sad.




Ever see the film "Flatliners"??

Or they are very depressed. It has nothing to do with rejection or miss understanding of Christianity. We have a depressed fellow in our Parish. Very pious young guy. Family is Orthodox.. We worry when he doesnt show up that he has done himself in.

Okay, okay.  But the op, and the linked article were about a philosophical discussion of death, not about depression and suicide.
Quote
these are not grief support groups or end-of-life planning sessions, but rather casual forums for people who want to bat around philosophical thoughts. What is death like? Why do we fear it? How do our views of death inform the way we live
http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/06/16/death-be-not-decaffeinated-over-cup-groups-face-taboo/

But YOU were commenting on the suicide cafe's.. And got a reply to what YOU wrote...

I was?  Huh

I commented first on the OP and then on your post, stating that your post had nothing to do with the OP.

May goodness man. What's wrong with you?

I made a comment about a type of death cafe, spot on topic. You  posted something dumb, I replied.. . Please try not to derail this thread. I'll do my part and ignore anything you post.

Thanks
Whatever...
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"Sometimes you're the windshield.  Sometimes you're the bug." ~ Mark Knopfler (?)
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« Reply #14 on: June 17, 2013, 05:51:06 PM »

No mention of judgment, of course. It's all about how the living cope with the death of someone they know, or at most exploring some vague intuition that the dead may live on in some way (of course, in some state of bliss or tranquility, it goes without saying).

Without judgment, death is kind of pointless; why talk about it?

Spiritual infantilism I call it, though perhaps that does infants a disservice. Maybe spiritual bestiality.
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« Reply #15 on: June 17, 2013, 09:19:01 PM »

^ The reason why the judgment isn't mentioned in the article because it's wasn't intended to reach out to a specific religious group with a particular doctrine. There was no particular intention to talk about religion or the fate of man after death.
« Last Edit: June 17, 2013, 09:19:55 PM by GTAsoldier » Logged

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« Reply #16 on: June 18, 2013, 05:37:32 AM »

^ The reason why the judgment isn't mentioned in the article because it's wasn't intended to reach out to a specific religious group with a particular doctrine. There was no particular intention to talk about religion or the fate of man after death.

Sure, I get that. I was just remarking on how pointless these discussions are when there IS nothing after death, or when we only imagine everyone will go to Heaven.
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« Reply #17 on: June 18, 2013, 09:08:32 AM »

^ The reason why the judgment isn't mentioned in the article because it's wasn't intended to reach out to a specific religious group with a particular doctrine. There was no particular intention to talk about religion or the fate of man after death.

Sure, I get that. I was just remarking on how pointless these discussions are when there IS nothing after death, or when we only imagine everyone will go to Heaven.

This is actually a very pertinent point.  I would be interested to see if there is at least a correlation between American culture's avoidance with speaking about death in concrete, personal terms and the rise of "feel good relativistic religion."
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"Hearing a nun's confession is like being stoned to death with popcorn." --Abp. Fulton Sheen
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