I've been dealing with this fear for about 6 years now. Upon graduating college twelve years ago, I started a business that went okay but had to end it due to a health issue I was facing at the time. It took me out of work for about two years. I then went to work with the family business where I'm currently in.
Initially, I thought it would be fine - not worried about getting fired, backstabbing, mindless co-worker spats and chats, and most importantly, taking off for religious services freely. However, I'm at a point in my life where I feel lost and misguided. Work days are slowly passing hours that are basic and uninteresting. I don't socialize with anyone other than family, zero personal life, lacking ambition...sadly, I could go on. I decided to go back to school. I enrolled and was accepted. But i'm still held back by one thing...fear.
I never worked anywhere else. I graduated with a degree in business but never used it in ways I thought I would. I felt 'coerced,' if you will, by my father to study business - as he had put it, 'you can do anything with it.' I tried to, but it didn't work out.
So for years now, I'm praying for the Lord to help me - to guide my to where He wants me to be. I keep asking Him, what is it I'm to do in this life. I never felt to be a teacher, lawyer, doctor, or any specific profession. I had an inclination to want to work with kids but more as in physical therapy, however, due to some small issue with my right hand I felt I would always be questioned regarding my abilities.
But i'm still asking the Lord for help. I have tried looking for other jobs but always feared applying because of some irrational fear. I felt that if it would be too overwhelming for me then I wouldn't have a way out. Or that my minor issue with my hand would undermine my abilities.
how can I stop being afraid of taking the first step? i'm a determined person who goes after things, but I've noticed fear can paralyze me quickly and delay me. And I believe the Lord sees these things in me and delays His blessings for me. How can I get over this?