So the reason I began thinking of the topic of 'tolerance' as of late is because of an experience I had with my wife and some of her fellow teachers. We all went to dinner a few weeks ago and had a really good time. But just before we all met, my wife disclosed that one of the female teachers is a homosexual and that her partner would be accompanying her. I was a little worried that I would be uncomfortable, but they were so sweet, nice and just really great people. Because she and my wife work together, I went out of my way to be friendly, but sincere. Well now we've been invited to their house for a get-together. I've never been in this situation before, so I hope y'all will understand what is probably a humorous situation to you. Of course I want to be friendly, outgoing and loving towards them. I guess I'm just trying to work out in my mind how to be loving, but not seem accepting of their lifestyle. If I go, am I tacitly approving? What if we're invited over multiple times? I told my wife that I would consider it- she thought my reticence was a bit homophobic. I didn't think that was fair, but I certainly don't want to be a jerk.
So there you have it.
Hey, even if it is "homophobic" at least you are honest. How does anything change without being so?
People will argue likely by analogy which other people will say is a logical fallacy.
Frankly, it sounds like you have a great excuse to get out going to "get-togethers" and get some alone time. But that is just me. I would definitely feign homophobia if it got me outta such a situation.
Gabriel, I think analogies are helpful here frankly, after all what else to have to go on.
Would you attend the house of someone who knowing commits something you think is sinful but they do not which seems to no real immediate harm to others?
I could see not attending the binge party of a friend who's been sober.
I could see not attending a dinner with a friend and their adulterous partner who they wish to be kept secret from their spouse.
I could see not attending a celebration of a friend for a large monetary gain you both believe was less than scrupulous.
I could see attending (and do) events where people get drunk who probably oughtn't, yet they don't seem to care to stop or want to.
I could see attending an event to celebrate a monetary windfall which I find to be highly unethical but those involved do not. (Flipping a foreclosed home is what I have in mind.)
I could see attending various religious rites of passage.
Ethics and morals get confused. I would figure out where you stand ethically in some sense. Then take care of the specifics.
You find homosexuality to be a sin.
Your wife has a relationship which matters to her with some homosexuals.
Your presence or absence at their home is highly unlikely to alter what they do with their bodies one way or another.
For me it would come down, to again, if I really wanted to be dragged around anywhere when I am not working.
But for you, I would say this:
If it makes your wife happy, then go.
If they ask how you feel and think about their being gay (this is not an unlikely situation, especially if you get somewhat comfortable and they know you are "religious"), be honest. Most gays folks have heard worse than I can imagine anything you could possibly even mistakenly suggest. If you are being this circumspect, I doubt you will be mean or hurtful.
If they can't deal with your opinions, then so be it. In my experience though, honesty (not necessarily truthfulness) leads to interesting if uncomfortable places.
I get asked not infrequently tough questions about whatever. Rarely has being honest not opened the door more meaningful and interesting living. (I am thinking about race at the moment, something my city has a real problem with ignoring. Some black folks are taken back by my candor, but it has only a few times been a complete cul-de-sac.) Even if it starts with some hurt feelings, but I think if feelings aren't getting hurt at least some time, I am not sure the point of having them.
There are drugs made to keep from having that happen for better and worse.
Don't ever visit me, I am a some time apologetic and wholly inveterate maniac.
Best of luck!