Author Topic: All Things Cats  (Read 18408 times)

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Offline AlioshaKaramazov

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Re: All Things Cats
« Reply #270 on: June 22, 2017, 08:35:38 PM »

Offline Dominika

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Re: All Things Cats
« Reply #271 on: June 23, 2017, 06:35:17 AM »
Pray for persecuted Christians, especially in Serbian Kosovo and Raška, Egypt and Syria

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Offline hecma925

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Re: All Things Cats
« Reply #272 on: June 23, 2017, 10:43:01 AM »
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Offline Arachne

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Re: All Things Cats
« Reply #273 on: June 27, 2017, 12:42:03 PM »
'Evil isn't the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as evil, maybe more so, and it's a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against stupid. That might actually make a difference.'~Harry Dresden

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Offline Jackson02

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Re: All Things Cats
« Reply #274 on: July 07, 2017, 11:36:52 PM »
I'm getting a purebred Birman kitten in the next few months!
« Last Edit: July 07, 2017, 11:37:04 PM by Jackson02 »
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Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: All Things Cats
« Reply #275 on: July 08, 2017, 12:56:00 AM »
I'm getting a purebred Birman kitten in the next few months!

What jurisdiction?
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Offline Arachne

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Re: All Things Cats
« Reply #276 on: July 08, 2017, 12:24:50 PM »
I'm getting a purebred Birman kitten in the next few months!

What jurisdiction?

Genuine, naturally.
'Evil isn't the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as evil, maybe more so, and it's a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against stupid. That might actually make a difference.'~Harry Dresden

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Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: All Things Cats
« Reply #277 on: July 08, 2017, 12:27:57 PM »
I'm getting a purebred Birman kitten in the next few months!

What jurisdiction?

Genuine, naturally.

You are brilliant. 
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Offline Asteriktos

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Re: All Things Cats
« Reply #278 on: July 29, 2017, 01:35:22 AM »
This thread is titled "All Things Cats," and yet I've noticed that so far there have been no videos posted of people pretending to be cats. Allow me to remedy this omission:

Youtube

"In this roleplay kitty purrs, kitty cuddles with you, kitty cleans itself, kitty eats, kitty drinks, kitty plays with your earbuds and your pen, kitty plays with bell This character was inspired by my cats"

You're welcome.
« Last Edit: July 29, 2017, 01:35:49 AM by Asteriktos »

Offline hecma925

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Re: All Things Cats
« Reply #279 on: July 29, 2017, 02:04:09 AM »
Murderer plays with kitten

From a good documentary about an isolated Russian prison that houses murderers.
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

Once Christ has filled the Cross, it can never be empty again.

"But God doesn't need your cookies!  Arrive on time!"

Offline hecma925

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Re: All Things Cats
« Reply #280 on: July 29, 2017, 03:06:19 AM »
You're welcome.

Thank you?

I'm not sure how I feel.
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

Once Christ has filled the Cross, it can never be empty again.

"But God doesn't need your cookies!  Arrive on time!"

Offline brlon

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Re: All Things Cats
« Reply #281 on: July 30, 2017, 09:45:14 AM »
This short article has appeared on several sites and in various formats on the internet but it seems no one claims authorship and no one is able to quote its original source.

"How would the Church of England deal with the statement that "the cat sat on the mat" if it appeared in the Bible?

"The liberal theologians would point out that such a passage did not of course mean that the cat literally sat on the mat. Also, cat and mat had different meanings in those days from today, and anyway, the text should be interpreted according to the customs and practices of the period.

"This would lead to an immediate backlash from the Evangelicals. They would make it an essential condition of faith that a real physical, living cat, being a domestic pet of the species Domesticus, and having a whiskered head, a furry body, four legs and a tail, did physically place its whole body on a floor covering, designed for that purpose, and which is on the floor but not of the floor. The expression "on the floor but not of the floor" would be explained in a leaflet.

"Meanwhile, the Catholics would have developed the Feast of the Sedentation of the Blessed Cat. This would teach that the cat was white, and majestically reclined on a mat of gold thread before its assumption to the Great Cat Basket of Heaven. This is commemorated by singing the "Magnificat" and "Felix namque", lighting three candles, and ringing a bell five times.

"This would cause a schism with the Orthodox Church which believes tradition requires Holy Cats Days (as it is colloquially known), to be marked by lighting SIX candles and ringing the bell FOUR times. This would partly be resolved by the Cuckoo Land Declaration recognising the traditional validity of each.

"Eventually the House of Bishops would issue a statement on the Doctrine of the Feline Sedentation. It would explain, traditionally the text describes a domestic feline quadruped superjacent to an unattached covering on a fundamental surface. For determining its salvific and eschatological significations, we follow the heuristic analytical principles adopted in dealing with the Canine Fenestration Question (How much is that doggie in the window?) and the Affirmative Musaceous Paradox (Yes, we have no bananas). And so on, for another 210 pages.

"The General Synod would then commend this report as helpful resource material for clergy to explain to the man in the pew the difficult doctrine of the cat sat on the mat."
« Last Edit: July 30, 2017, 09:46:25 AM by brlon »

Offline mcarmichael

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Re: All Things Cats
« Reply #282 on: July 30, 2017, 06:26:44 PM »
This short article has appeared on several sites and in various formats on the internet but it seems no one claims authorship and no one is able to quote its original source.

"How would the Church of England deal with the statement that "the cat sat on the mat" if it appeared in the Bible?

"The liberal theologians would point out that such a passage did not of course mean that the cat literally sat on the mat. Also, cat and mat had different meanings in those days from today, and anyway, the text should be interpreted according to the customs and practices of the period.

"This would lead to an immediate backlash from the Evangelicals. They would make it an essential condition of faith that a real physical, living cat, being a domestic pet of the species Domesticus, and having a whiskered head, a furry body, four legs and a tail, did physically place its whole body on a floor covering, designed for that purpose, and which is on the floor but not of the floor. The expression "on the floor but not of the floor" would be explained in a leaflet.

"Meanwhile, the Catholics would have developed the Feast of the Sedentation of the Blessed Cat. This would teach that the cat was white, and majestically reclined on a mat of gold thread before its assumption to the Great Cat Basket of Heaven. This is commemorated by singing the "Magnificat" and "Felix namque", lighting three candles, and ringing a bell five times.

"This would cause a schism with the Orthodox Church which believes tradition requires Holy Cats Days (as it is colloquially known), to be marked by lighting SIX candles and ringing the bell FOUR times. This would partly be resolved by the Cuckoo Land Declaration recognising the traditional validity of each.

"Eventually the House of Bishops would issue a statement on the Doctrine of the Feline Sedentation. It would explain, traditionally the text describes a domestic feline quadruped superjacent to an unattached covering on a fundamental surface. For determining its salvific and eschatological significations, we follow the heuristic analytical principles adopted in dealing with the Canine Fenestration Question (How much is that doggie in the window?) and the Affirmative Musaceous Paradox (Yes, we have no bananas). And so on, for another 210 pages.

"The General Synod would then commend this report as helpful resource material for clergy to explain to the man in the pew the difficult doctrine of the cat sat on the mat."
meow?
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Offline hecma925

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Re: All Things Cats
« Reply #283 on: July 30, 2017, 07:40:22 PM »
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

Once Christ has filled the Cross, it can never be empty again.

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Offline Jackson02

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Re: All Things Cats
« Reply #284 on: August 02, 2017, 12:13:04 AM »
Got my kitten... ;D
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Offline Asteriktos

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Re: All Things Cats
« Reply #285 on: August 07, 2017, 09:15:06 PM »

Offline Pravoslavbob

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Re: All Things Cats
« Reply #286 on: August 07, 2017, 09:30:58 PM »




Lt. Cmdr. Data: [asking Worf to take care of Spot] He will need to be fed once a day. He prefers feline supplement number 25.

Lieutenant Worf: I understand.

Lt. Cmdr. Data: And he will require water. And you must provide him with a sandbox - and you must talk to him. Tell him he is a pretty cat, and a good cat...

Lieutenant Worf: I will feed him.

Lt. Cmdr. Data: Perhaps that will be enough.
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Offline GabrieltheCelt

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Re: All Things Cats
« Reply #287 on: August 07, 2017, 09:48:39 PM »

 Does this fall under "All Things Cats"?  A disturbed take on "Cat Woman"...

 www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3419631/Womans-says-s-CAT-trapped-human-body.html



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Offline hecma925

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Re: All Things Cats
« Reply #288 on: August 12, 2017, 02:48:46 AM »
Cat Supermarket

Another reason for my love/hate relationship with the internet.
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

Once Christ has filled the Cross, it can never be empty again.

"But God doesn't need your cookies!  Arrive on time!"

Offline hecma925

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Re: All Things Cats
« Reply #289 on: August 15, 2017, 12:44:07 AM »
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

Once Christ has filled the Cross, it can never be empty again.

"But God doesn't need your cookies!  Arrive on time!"

Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: All Things Cats
« Reply #290 on: August 15, 2017, 02:22:32 PM »
Sexy cats and feline violence with Neo-Charlestonian music.

I read too quickly and wondered what kind of Non-Chalcedonian music was involved.
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Offline DeniseDenise

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Re: All Things Cats
« Reply #291 on: August 15, 2017, 03:38:15 PM »
All opinions expressed by myself are quite tragically my own, and not those of any other poster or wall hangings.