I understand what you are asking. The concept of the Trinity itself is a mystery. If you try to apply logic or head-knowledge to what it 'means' you will never grasp it. When something relies on our faith to accept it wholly that part that is missing is the mystery. I do believe our brains arent big enough to fully comprehend it all, if we try to hard to, our heads would explode. I have been made very humble by all the new stuff in Orthodoxy that had been beyond my comprehension/understanding before and simply just 'being' is making me more comfortable. Prayer helps.