Author Topic: Adult dating personals ~ What are your experiences with dating websites?  (Read 1912 times)

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Offline WPM

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Has anyone used adult dating websites to find someone you might like? What is your experience if you've used them? wondering, thanks.

Offline Justin Kissel

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I met my wife on an orthodox discussion list. I also met my current-ex-girlfriend on something that some might describe as an "adult dating website".
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Offline quietmorning

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I found that on line dating sites specifically to be a haven of predators. 

I had an online journal which was much more successful in meeting and getting to know people.  I met my husband on livejournal.
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Offline Shiny

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I like online dating sites just because you can filter out who you want to meet, interests, personality, etc.

The problem comes down to honesty; how honest are folks on the internet?

So don't be like a lot of people and get emotionally invested with someone's profile/chat conversations and you wind up meeting them in person and they are nothing like what was described with pics or text. Just be careful.
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Offline Agia Marina

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I met my hubby on an online dating site.  :)
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Offline LizaSymonenko

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I tried eHarmony many, many years ago....and they gave me a $90 offer free, because out of the thousands of members they couldn't match me with anyone!  :D

That was my first and last online "dating" experience.
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Offline LBK

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I tried eHarmony many, many years ago....and they gave me a $90 offer free, because out of the thousands of members they couldn't match me with anyone!  :D

Not hard to guess why - you're truly exceptional, my dear Liza!  :laugh: :-*
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Offline Shiny

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I tried eHarmony many, many years ago....and they gave me a $90 offer free, because out of the thousands of members they couldn't match me with anyone!  :D

That was my first and last online "dating" experience.
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« Last Edit: April 05, 2013, 01:45:53 PM by Achronos »
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Offline Agia Marina

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I tried eHarmony many, many years ago....and they gave me a $90 offer free, because out of the thousands of members they couldn't match me with anyone!  :D

That was my first and last online "dating" experience.
I had the same experience.  I guess we're too picky.  ;)
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Offline LizaSymonenko

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Well...when picking a lifelong spouse...one should be picky.  ;)
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Offline SolEX01

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I was rejected by eHarmony.  They told me that I was 1 in 5 people who couldn't be matched according to their matching system.

A few years ago, I paid for a 3 month subscription with an ethnic based online dating site which resulted in a couple of chat discussions and no actual dates.  The highlight of that experience was chatting with a defense attorney in Houston, TX.

After my subscription expired, so did my interest in online dating sites.

Offline Arachne

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I used to have (technically still do) an account with OKCupid - not for dating purposes but because I was addicted to their quizzes and I wanted to keep track of my scores. Even with my profile as basic (and pictureless) as I had made it, I still got trawled by people that made my skin crawl. I'm so glad I don't have to even consider that kind of site any more.

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Offline TheTrisagion

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I have found they are a very bad idea.  Especially when your wife find out your using them.  ;D
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Offline biro

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I used a few different sites, years ago. Now, I don't.

Offline Elisha

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Match.com:  I had a couple of dates.  Both were meh.  The second was actually potentially scary.  I found out during the date that both her parents had been married 5 times...twice to each other (I contemplated running out of the Red Lobster immediately while screaming after hearing that).

eHarmony:  only like 5 matches within a 30 mile radius.  To expensive for no results.

Anyone try ChristianMingle.com?  Site sounds way cheezy, but I'm just curious.

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Offline tuesdayschild

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Well...when picking a lifelong spouse...one should be picky.  ;)

Let us attend!

Have you considered a career in matchmaking?

Offline quietmorning

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Our single folks need a resident YaYa to do some match making.   ;)
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Offline vamrat

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All the best relationships in my life, both friendly and romantic, sprang out of my roleplaying hobby, both online and face to face.

That's because you live in the only country in the world where roleplaying and tabletop games seem to be somewhat cool.

If England had gun-rights I'd be on the plane with a one-way ticket in a week.  I'd probably get a hobo-box and just live at Bovington.




Ok, dating sites.  I have used most of them except Shaadi, and I had considered it.

Plenty of Whales - This is part joke and part truth.  But if you are the sort where personality matters more than them being a supermodel, you might get your best luck here.  Some of the worst girls are on here (you get what you pay for) but there are also some of the best (the best things in life are free).  I include those cliche's to give you a guess at the typical profile-writing skillz of the average denizen of POF.  But I will still suggest POF because despite all the wigged turds I went through on that site, two of the best girls I have ever dated were on there too.  One of them I am still friends with...and I ain't the sort of guy who usually puts up with that friendzone BS...and the other I am still dating and might end up marrying.

OK U Bid - This is Facebook for Chicks.  Actually, Facebook is Facebook for Chicks so this is Facebook For Chicks II.  The girls on here are rather pretty and a disturbing number of them seem to be the sorts of people that would need Jesus to rescue them from a stoning, but this is attention-seeking at it's best worst.  Or, they are like the ever-beautiful Arachne and just on there for the quizes, so not really open for dating.  FWIW, the quizes are pretty fun!  I met one girl on there who was pretty smart, had an interesting sense of humour, and we shared some interests...but there were too many negatives which I would go into if this wasn't a Christian website.  (No, I don't mean that.  Get your minds out of the gutter!  Just reasons that might make me seem shallow.)

Match - Met my first GF on there but that was years ago.  It's kinda crap these days.  First, most pay sites just aren't worth it.  You'd be better off taking the $15-30 and just hiring a girl to take out for dinner and a movie and arrange for her to reject you via text message a few days later.  If you decide to go on Match just make sure to spam out a lot of messages (at the same time making them not look like they are spam) and prepare for a <10% success rate.  (For reference, I give POF a 10% success rate.)

Christian Mingle - There just aren't enough people on there unless you live in a really big city (over 1mil population).  Even then, I could have spammed every Christian (Lutheran, Anglican, Orthodox (0), or Catholic) girl in Omaha in one sitting.  Since I was actually looking for a GF I didn't put in any liberal Protestant/psyco-Protestant denominations, Mormon, JW's, etc.  I met one decent girl, but she had the pick of the litter and I wasn't it.  She did offer the friendzone but to heck with that.  Being a pay site that lets you make a profile without paying (to increase the number of "members") most of the people you message won't be able to respond, or even read your messages, even if they wanted to.

Eharmony - Ugh.  Most of my matches (I specify a 20 mile max) were in the 500 mi radius.  Got maybe two matches in as many months and both were "winners".  If it were free I'd consider it, but not really worth paying for.


In short, online dating sucks, but if you don't meet a lot of people in real life and don't like being involuntarily celibate, this is probably your only option.  Girls, you are going to run into a lot of men who are...well, odd.  Hopefully you have seen a picture of male genitalia once or twice and won't be shocked if some of the special guys on there send you wiener pics.  'Cuz they will.  Make sure you have realistic standards.  If you want a man who could be Ryan Gossling's stunt double, is loaded and has charisma to the max, I have bad news for you.  He's already found someone offline.  Now, if you pare down your list of requirements in a guy commensurate to how much he's going to have to pare down his list for you, you've probably got a good shot.  Do not be afraid to send the message first if you find someone you like.  Men have to spam out so many messages that actually getting one from a woman who initiates contact is probably going to give you a higher market share than your competition.  I have never received a decent message (three to five sentences with something resembling over third grade grammar) that I didn't at least respond to.

Guys - It's a grind.  Basically, I suggest you get a good documentary on trench warfare and watch it as this is pretty much what online dating is all about.  Most of the girls are inundated with messages and really only like 25% are wiener pics so there are still plenty to sift through.  You have to have a good profile, decent pictures - none of them shirtless or just of your wiener, and then send out good messages that catch her eye (ooh shiny!) about 700 million times.  10% success rate.  This is the best it is going to get.  And of those most of these dates will fail.  You will probably need to send out 50-100 messages all said and done.

Best of luck!
Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt.

Offline Justin Kissel

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Guys - It's a grind.  Basically, I suggest you get a good documentary on trench warfare and watch it as this is pretty much what online dating is all about.  Most of the girls are inundated with messages and really only like 25% are wiener pics so there are still plenty to sift through.  You have to have a good profile, decent pictures - none of them shirtless or just of your wiener, and then send out good messages that catch her eye (ooh shiny!) about 700 million times.  10% success rate.  This is the best it is going to get.  And of those most of these dates will fail.  You will probably need to send out 50-100 messages all said and done.

This shows where the context matters. I have frequented adult dating sites (stress on "adult") where showing wieners is very common, and even in a sense part of the appeal of the site (um... for half the population, and girly naughty bits in the pics is part of the appeal for the other half). Not that I have a wiener worth showing off.  :(  :P  :angel:  Anyway, other than that remark, thanks for the detailed post!
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Offline vamrat

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Guys - It's a grind.  Basically, I suggest you get a good documentary on trench warfare and watch it as this is pretty much what online dating is all about.  Most of the girls are inundated with messages and really only like 25% are wiener pics so there are still plenty to sift through.  You have to have a good profile, decent pictures - none of them shirtless or just of your wiener, and then send out good messages that catch her eye (ooh shiny!) about 700 million times.  10% success rate.  This is the best it is going to get.  And of those most of these dates will fail.  You will probably need to send out 50-100 messages all said and done.

This shows where the context matters. I have frequented adult dating sites (stress on "adult") where showing wieners is very common, and even in a sense part of the appeal of the site (um... for half the population, and girly naughty bits in the pics is part of the appeal for the other half). Not that I have a wiener worth showing off.  :(  :P  :angel:  Anyway, other than that remark, thanks for the detailed post!

Wait...when the OP says adult dating sites does he mean adult dating sites???  Oh...  I thought he just meant dating sites in general since they'd all be "adult" dating sites since children dating sites usually attract the FBI, Interpol, etc.  If he meant the other sort, then I got nothing.
Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt.

Offline Arachne

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All the best relationships in my life, both friendly and romantic, sprang out of my roleplaying hobby, both online and face to face.

That's because you live in the only country in the world where roleplaying and tabletop games seem to be somewhat cool.

If England had gun-rights I'd be on the plane with a one-way ticket in a week.  I'd probably get a hobo-box and just live at Bovington.

Except all the aforementioned activity took place in Greece. Where the first gaming shop opened in 1998. Where people stuck their noses against the glass to gape at us. Where any kind of gaming was considered terminally weird for anyone out of of compulsory education.

The husband, who brought me to the UK, I met through roleplaying as well, but over a much less reputable (online) medium.

Nope, I got where I am by being unashamedly nerdy and uncool before uncool was cool. 8)
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Offline vamrat

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All the best relationships in my life, both friendly and romantic, sprang out of my roleplaying hobby, both online and face to face.

That's because you live in the only country in the world where roleplaying and tabletop games seem to be somewhat cool.

If England had gun-rights I'd be on the plane with a one-way ticket in a week.  I'd probably get a hobo-box and just live at Bovington.

Except all the aforementioned activity took place in Greece. Where the first gaming shop opened in 1998. Where people stuck their noses against the glass to gape at us. Where any kind of gaming was considered terminally weird for anyone out of of compulsory education.

The husband, who brought me to the UK, I met through roleplaying as well, but over a much less reputable (online) medium.

Nope, I got where I am by being unashamedly nerdy and uncool before uncool was cool. 8)

Cool!

I still think it seems like the Limeys are more in to games than Yanks are, on average, though!   :)
Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt.

Offline Arachne

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All the best relationships in my life, both friendly and romantic, sprang out of my roleplaying hobby, both online and face to face.

That's because you live in the only country in the world where roleplaying and tabletop games seem to be somewhat cool.

If England had gun-rights I'd be on the plane with a one-way ticket in a week.  I'd probably get a hobo-box and just live at Bovington.

Except all the aforementioned activity took place in Greece. Where the first gaming shop opened in 1998. Where people stuck their noses against the glass to gape at us. Where any kind of gaming was considered terminally weird for anyone out of of compulsory education.

The husband, who brought me to the UK, I met through roleplaying as well, but over a much less reputable (online) medium.

Nope, I got where I am by being unashamedly nerdy and uncool before uncool was cool. 8)

Cool!

I still think it seems like the Limeys are more in to games than Yanks are, on average, though!   :)

Eh... The non-native's perspective says that a few key activities and tastes that are considered rather niche across the pond (paranormal literature, classical music, history) enjoy more mainstream success over here, so the nerdy/geeky types get to socialise more with their own kind(s). ;)
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Offline LizaSymonenko

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Guys - It's a grind.  Basically, I suggest you get a good documentary on trench warfare and watch it as this is pretty much what online dating is all about.  Most of the girls are inundated with messages and really only like 25% are wiener pics so there are still plenty to sift through.  You have to have a good profile, decent pictures - none of them shirtless or just of your wiener, and then send out good messages that catch her eye (ooh shiny!) about 700 million times.  10% success rate.  This is the best it is going to get.  And of those most of these dates will fail.  You will probably need to send out 50-100 messages all said and done.

This shows where the context matters. I have frequented adult dating sites (stress on "adult") where showing wieners is very common, and even in a sense part of the appeal of the site (um... for half the population, and girly naughty bits in the pics is part of the appeal for the other half). Not that I have a wiener worth showing off.  :(  :P  :angel:  Anyway, other than that remark, thanks for the detailed post!

Ewww!  In that case, dismiss my previous post!

Never been to such a site and don't care to.

....and neither should you.

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Offline Justin Kissel

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Ewww!  In that case, dismiss my previous post!

Never been to such a site and don't care to.

....and neither should you.

 :-X
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All the best relationships in my life, both friendly and romantic, sprang out of my roleplaying hobby, both online and face to face.

I guess the percentage of single men is really high among the role-playing folks  :)
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Offline JamesR

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It's a good, sometimes affective way to find a mate. However, for some reason, society still has a taboo about it--along with mail order brides--so prepare to be laughed at or seen as a weirdo if you use them.
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It's a good, sometimes affective way to find a mate. However, for some reason, society still has a taboo about it--along with mail order brides--so prepare to be laughed at or seen as a weirdo if you use them.

Oh no, not this again.
At nunc desertis cessant sacraria lucis:
aurum omnes victa iam pietate colunt.
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Offline Antonis

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It's a good, sometimes affective way to find a mate. However, for some reason, society still has a taboo about it--along with mail order brides--so prepare to be laughed at or seen as a weirdo if you use them.
::)

This:
Quote
Oh no, not this again.
'Η ἐλπίς μου ὁ Πατήρ, καταφυγή μου ὁ Υἱός, σκέπη μου τὸ Πνεῦμα τὸ Ἅγιον· Τριὰς Ἁγία, δόξα Σοι.

Offline arimethea

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I get told to put myself out there more, but I do not like the people I attract on dating sites. Yes, having a kid is a deal breaker for me, and I would just be wasting my time.

Joseph

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Yes, having a kid is a deal breaker for me, and I would just be wasting my time.

Don't be silly, women dig responsible fathers.
At nunc desertis cessant sacraria lucis:
aurum omnes victa iam pietate colunt.
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Offline arimethea

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Yes, having a kid is a deal breaker for me, and I would just be wasting my time.

Don't be silly, women dig responsible fathers.

I think you misunderstood me, I do not have any kids, but women with kids seem to be the only ones who contact me. I could never be with a woman who has been married or has kids.
Joseph

Offline Justin Kissel

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I could never be with a woman who has been married or has kids.

I feel the same way about used cars.
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Offline SolEX01

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I could never be with a woman who has been married or has kids.

I feel the same way about used cars.

I've never been wrong with CarMax (1 car was new, the other 3 were used).   :angel:

Online Cyrillic

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Yes, having a kid is a deal breaker for me, and I would just be wasting my time.

Don't be silly, women dig responsible fathers.

I think you misunderstood me, I do not have any kids, but women with kids seem to be the only ones who contact me. I could never be with a woman who has been married or has kids.

Ah yes, it appears that I misunderstood you.
At nunc desertis cessant sacraria lucis:
aurum omnes victa iam pietate colunt.
-Propertius, Elegies III.XIII:47-48

Ἀπ' ὃσα ἒκαμα κι ἀπ’ ὃσα εἶπα
νὰ μὴ ζητήσουνε νὰ βροῦν ποιός ἢμουν
-C.P Cavafy

Offline vamrat

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Yes, having a kid is a deal breaker for me, and I would just be wasting my time.

Don't be silly, women dig responsible fathers.

I think you misunderstood me, I do not have any kids, but women with kids seem to be the only ones who contact me. I could never be with a woman who has been married or has kids.

Your profile says you're 37.  Let me guess, you are in acceptable physical shape, have a job, never been to prison...

Come on you misogynistic pig!  It doesn't matter if they weren't in the market for a responsible father THEN.  It's NOW that counts!!!

 ;)
Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt.

Offline Arachne

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Yes, having a kid is a deal breaker for me, and I would just be wasting my time.

Don't be silly, women dig responsible fathers.

I think you misunderstood me, I do not have any kids, but women with kids seem to be the only ones who contact me. I could never be with a woman who has been married or has kids.

Bolded part can get you into majorly creepy situations real fast...
'When you live your path all the time, you end up with both more path and more time.'~Venecia Rauls

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Online Cyrillic

  • The Laughing Cavalier
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  • Jurisdiction: But my heart belongs to Finland
Yes, having a kid is a deal breaker for me, and I would just be wasting my time.

Don't be silly, women dig responsible fathers.

I think you misunderstood me, I do not have any kids, but women with kids seem to be the only ones who contact me. I could never be with a woman who has been married or has kids.

Bolded part can get you into majorly creepy situations real fast...

How so?
At nunc desertis cessant sacraria lucis:
aurum omnes victa iam pietate colunt.
-Propertius, Elegies III.XIII:47-48

Ἀπ' ὃσα ἒκαμα κι ἀπ’ ὃσα εἶπα
νὰ μὴ ζητήσουνε νὰ βροῦν ποιός ἢμουν
-C.P Cavafy

Offline Arachne

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  • Jurisdiction: Antiochian Archdiocese, UK
Yes, having a kid is a deal breaker for me, and I would just be wasting my time.

Don't be silly, women dig responsible fathers.

I think you misunderstood me, I do not have any kids, but women with kids seem to be the only ones who contact me. I could never be with a woman who has been married or has kids.

Bolded part can get you into majorly creepy situations real fast...

How so?

The never-had-a-family crew on dating sites tend to be either 20-ish (which would make our mature friend look like a creep) or 35+, terrified of spinsterhood and with biological clocks that drown out everything else (which is even creepier).

Exceptions exist, but most people have better things to do with their time than sift through the landfill hoping someone tossed a diamond by mistake.
'When you live your path all the time, you end up with both more path and more time.'~Venecia Rauls

Blog ~ Bookshelf ~ Jukebox

Offline KBN1

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I tried dating sites a couple of times and realized I prefer the authenticity of being rejected in real life. 

Offline montalban

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I have looked at bride sites (not dating sites).

Some who claim they have good English skills invent words I've never heard of.

Others seem more interested in finding a business partner/crutch/someone to give their career a boost.
Fàilte dhut a Mhoire,
tha thu lan de na gràsan;
Tha an Tighearna maille riut.

Offline JamesR

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If I ever get married, I want a woman who doesn't want kids. I've already spent so much of my life taking care of younger siblings that I don't want to spend another 18 years of my adulthood taking care of kids.
Until I see the resurrection of the dead and the life of the world to come, I will not believe.

Offline montalban

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If I ever get married, I want a woman who doesn't want kids. I've already spent so much of my life taking care of younger siblings that I don't want to spend another 18 years of my adulthood taking care of kids.

Given your posts (on Hitler, et al), that could be seen by some as a blessing
Fàilte dhut a Mhoire,
tha thu lan de na gràsan;
Tha an Tighearna maille riut.

Offline WPM

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Re: Adult dating personals ~ What are your experiences with dating websites?
« Reply #43 on: September 03, 2013, 06:40:46 PM »
Did ya find someone you like? Oh la la la that special someone you love?...

Offline Opus118

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Re: Adult dating personals ~ What are your experiences with dating websites?
« Reply #44 on: September 03, 2013, 11:30:08 PM »

I tried eHarmony many, many years ago....and they gave me a $90 offer free, because out of the thousands of members they couldn't match me with anyone!  :D

That was my first and last online "dating" experience.

Out of curiosity, did you have height restrictions?

edit - I suspect you will never see this.
« Last Edit: September 03, 2013, 11:35:14 PM by Opus118 »