Topic: How do you express opposition....politely?

[Faith2545]

I'm curious to know..... how do you express your feelings of opposition to social issues like gay marriage/gay families, birth control/abortion, child rearing, Christian bashing due to beliefs, and such, while standing your ground but at the same time, respecting a person's God-given right of free will?

* For example, the issue of gay marriage and raising families. Though I acknowledge that God makes us as we are, the way we are, I still have difficulty accepting a gay marriage as valid or equal to a heterosexual one. I'm not saying they're not God's people by any means, but why must I accept it as 'right' or 'equal?'  And why would that make ME a bad person if I never do, for example?

Or, thinking it's 'okay' to allow my son to dress/play/act as a 'girl' because at 4 years old he is gravitating toward 'feminine' acts and likes...shouldn't I as the parent, 'correct' that behavior AS I BELIEVE to be wrong, without being criticized for it?

Why are we/those who don't agree with 'modern concepts' of human behavior thought of as bad and outdated people? Thoughts?

* these are just examples of issues - I just  find myself disagreeing with these actions and I want to see if any of you do/don't and why *

[LizaSymonenko]

You don't have to. 

You don't have to accept anything you feel is wrong.

Raise your child in your beliefs.  Don't punish them, but, lead them in the right direction, gently. 

As for moral issues....if you are in mixed company you might just wish to keep quiet - if this is "work" company, remember, you have to work with these folks.

If they press you....then simply state "I disagree with your point of you.  I respect your right to have an opinion, please do the same for me."

NEVER say you agree with something, that you don't agree with.

Now, if these are "church" folks....and there are many who don't hold/follow the Church's teachings....then by all means, be strong in your opposition, and state why.  Give them reasons why the Church states this or that. 

Some of my most heated discussions about God and religion were with my own people.  Who'da thought?  Some people are just very laid back....and there's one God and many paths to Him.   (grumble...grumble....)

However, always be nice and considerate.....but, never give in to popular belief....if it's not what you believe.

Early Christians were also persecuted for their beliefs.

Be gentle, but, be strong.

[mike]

Another one homosexuality thread?

<sigh>

[Dionysii]

I'm curious to know..... how do you express your feelings of opposition to social issues like gay marriage/gay families...?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uHBFiAnpZs
Quoting Lumberg humour - something which could make the difference in some conversations. 

[LizaSymonenko]

Another one homosexuality thread?

<sigh>

I don't think it needs to be.

I personally, wasn't referring to homosexuality in my comment.

My conversations with "church" folks usually revolves around the need to come to church, they can pray just as well at home.....they skip church because they don't want to deal with the people.....Muslims are also going to heaven, because God is one.....Fasting is only necessary if you are a monk.....

These are the issues about which I was speaking.

[Faith2545]

Another one homosexuality thread?

<sigh>

No it's not. I thought of it more so in terms of arguing for one's morels or beliefs.

[Faith2545]

You don't have to. 

You don't have to accept anything you feel is wrong.

Raise your child in your beliefs.  Don't punish them, but, lead them in the right direction, gently. 

As for moral issues....if you are in mixed company you might just wish to keep quiet - if this is "work" company, remember, you have to work with these folks.

If they press you....then simply state "I disagree with your point of you.  I respect your right to have an opinion, please do the same for me."

NEVER say you agree with something, that you don't agree with.

Now, if these are "church" folks....and there are many who don't hold/follow the Church's teachings....then by all means, be strong in your opposition, and state why.  Give them reasons why the Church states this or that. 

Some of my most heated discussions about God and religion were with my own people.  Who'da thought?  Some people are just very laid back....and there's one God and many paths to Him.   (grumble...grumble....)

However, always be nice and considerate.....but, never give in to popular belief....if it's not what you believe.

Early Christians were also persecuted for their beliefs.

Be gentle, but, be strong.

Thanks you made some very good points and I agree with them all.

Actually, the situation at hand, for me , was a little of everything. I tend to keep quite, but I take it to my boiling point and just erupt when it's a repetitive comment or action repeated for a long, long while. I just don't feel comfortable when other's beliefs are so imposing on me....at times I 'act' like I agree to get them off my back, but then it becomes quite obvious that I don't agree. But I'm very friendly, and for me it ends up being very disappointing when that person becomes so imposing. I then start to avoid them and I hate doing that. I understand that not everyone will agree with me & vise versa.

[OrthoNoob]

Free will is a fact of human nature, not a right.

It simply means you can make choices. A murderer exercises his free will to murder. That doesn't confer on others an obligation to approve, or not to defend themselves. Depending on who and how it may even be perfectly moral to kill him.

Free will and rights are totally separate concepts.

[Virtual Paradise]

Another one homosexuality thread?

<sigh>

too much homosexual orientated people around here? how many hidden gays are around here? and they run away free and dare to judge others

[Faith2545]

Another one homosexuality thread?

<sigh>

too much homosexual orientated people around here? how many hidden gays are around here? and they run away free and dare to judge others

THIS IS NOT ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY!!!! WHY IS IT THAT YOU GET TO THAT?

I merely brought it up as an example. And excuse me, I just joined this board a few weeks ago - I never knew the subject was talked about. And I wouldn't care to respond.

Maybe your post is an example of EXACTLY what I'm talking about???

Shesshh...don't share your opinion if you don't feel like participating. Thank you.

[JamesR]

Personally, I try to not bring up my personal beliefs about controversial topics like this unless someone asks me to. When that does occur, I'll usually just express my honest opinion no matter what, since they asked for it. If they are generally curious about it and want to discuss it, I'll always debate it and discuss it with them. However, if they only want to bash or pick on me because of it, I'll usually either argue with them until they hate me, or just avoid them.

EDIT: About your children? That's a tough one. My parents tried forcing Protestantism on me as a child and pre-teen, they were very hateful and neglecting when I went through a short phase of Buddhism at 12-13. Personally, forcing religion on your child is a horrible thing, and neglecting them because of a religious difference can be painful. I'd never do it. To this day, they still are generally hostile about my conversion to Orthodoxy, but have gradually learned to tolerate me. I'd suggest just trying to teach your religion to your kids and be there for them, but when they get old enough, there really is nothing you can do to prevent them from changing, so I wouldn't try to force religion on them or neglect them, but let them believe what they want.

[Punch]

My suggestion would be to read from the early Church Fathers, and read from the Lives of the Saints, and then see if your definition of "polite" opposition is still valid.

[Shiny]

[Faith2545]

Personally, I try to not bring up my personal beliefs about controversial topics like this unless someone asks me to. When that does occur, I'll usually just express my honest opinion no matter what, since they asked for it. If they are generally curious about it and want to discuss it, I'll always debate it and discuss it with them. However, if they only want to bash or pick on me because of it, I'll usually either argue with them until they hate me, or just avoid them.

EDIT: About your children? That's a tough one. My parents tried forcing Protestantism on me as a child and pre-teen, they were very hateful and neglecting when I went through a short phase of Buddhism at 12-13. Personally, forcing religion on your child is a horrible thing, and neglecting them because of a religious difference can be painful. I'd never do it. To this day, they still are generally hostile about my conversion to Orthodoxy, but have gradually learned to tolerate me. I'd suggest just trying to teach your religion to your kids and be there for them, but when they get old enough, there really is nothing you can do to prevent them from changing, so I wouldn't try to force religion on them or neglect them, but let them believe what they want.

Thanks for your advice. Actually I wasn't referring to forcing religion.
I was actually referring to how to deal with behaviors of today, and as another example, I brought up children and how I see they lack discipline in things, and I expressed my thoughts that should I enter a conversation or be asked how I feel, that what is the most 'polite' manner of disagreeing without offending. I guess there isn't!!

I don't discuss much at work and such, but whether it's a comment you overhear or you're subjected to, I can't get over how some people think...or don't think. I'm over this post though -- just thought to hear some thoughts on the subject. Maybe I should've asked to begin with!!    

But with regards to faith, I would like to think I'll be a strong Orthodox Christian parent, without a doubt.

[Virtual Paradise]

Another one homosexuality thread?

<sigh>

too much homosexual orientated people around here? how many hidden gays are around here? and they run away free and dare to judge others

THIS IS NOT ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY!!!! WHY IS IT THAT YOU GET TO THAT?

I merely brought it up as an example. And excuse me, I just joined this board a few weeks ago - I never knew the subject was talked about. And I wouldn't care to respond.

Maybe your post is an example of EXACTLY what I'm talking about???

Shesshh...don't share your opinion if you don't feel like participating. Thank you.

I wasn't speaking of you.

I don't see why you would have to express your opinion about this matters, unless they are directly affecting you. And when you do that , do it reasonably, on a calm debating tone. What you are speaking about is judging.. Calling on others sins and flaws is judging. Anything personal of this matter is judging. In fact here we get to point number 2 of why christianity is not taken seriously and mocked.. It is because of all the self-righteous judgementalism , http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bad_faith , anti-logical, anti-reasonable attitudes. And that "Christian" conduct is rightly mocked and criticised! About your children you should lead them on the right path, not imposing, reasoning with them and always be an example of what you say. This is the way of life, it all comes down to reasoning and being. Without this you could never inspire a change and a consideration of your thoughts and feelings to anyone.

[leap of faith]

First, know yourself.  If your mood or past experiences won't allow you to respond kindly, then don't respond at all.  I *try* to remember that I'm commanded to love my neighbor.  That part is on me, so it's important to be responsible to Christ's commandment.  Undergird your message with love, as if you are speaking with someone who you know and truly do love, even if the topic requires that you are direct with the information.  Consider the other person's response and choose your words in a manner that reflects that consideration.  We each come with our own wounds. Don't allow yourself to forget that. No empty flattery.  It won't get you anywhere. Last, don't expect that you'll experience a change of heart on the part of the other person.  Chances are, even *if* you succeed in bringing them to reconsider their viewpoint, it'll take awhile for it to soak in...let alone switch teams.  

[Cyrillic]

Another one homosexuality thread?

<sigh>

too much homosexual orientated people around here? how many hidden gays are around here? and they run away free and dare to judge others

THIS IS NOT ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY!!!! WHY IS IT THAT YOU GET TO THAT?

I merely brought it up as an example. And excuse me, I just joined this board a few weeks ago - I never knew the subject was talked about. And I wouldn't care to respond.

Maybe your post is an example of EXACTLY what I'm talking about???

Shesshh...don't share your opinion if you don't feel like participating. Thank you.

This is a good example of how not to express disagreement politely.