There once was this RC cowboy.
He ran in to the general store and bought a pound if tobacco. He was thrilled because he had gotten word from a fellow wrangler that he was going to get a new pipe tonight. You see it was his birthday.
The wrangler had gotten the news from the cook, who had heard it from his wife.
When he got home he waited eagerly. His wife had made his favorite dinner, and they had settled down by the fire, when she handed him the brown paper wrapped package.
Putting on his best surprise face, he ripped it open - only to find a tie, not a pipe.
He shockingly reproached his wife and wanted to know what happened to the new pipe.
She thought a moment and then burst out, "not a new pipe! You got a new Pope!"