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Author Topic: Dating/Marrying Non-Orthodox Christians. Thoughts?  (Read 2960 times) Average Rating: 0
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Shlomlokh
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« Reply #45 on: March 16, 2013, 03:56:42 PM »


Every Orthodox youth conference ever. The ratio of women to me is at least 4:1 in my experience.

In Christ,
Andrew

Yeah, but those are youth conferences. Meant for teenagers, right? Or are there people in their mid 20's too at these gatherings?
[/quote]
There are more people in their mid 20s than not. Also, try visiting a monastery. When I visited a nearby one, the abbot tried to set me up with a girl from a local parish in the area and even offered to let me use his car to go there for liturgy to meet her. Wink

Also where in the South are you?

In Christ,
Andrew
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« Reply #46 on: March 16, 2013, 04:01:18 PM »

What is it with chicks always wanting to experience a "family" and have children? This is one of my biggest problems when dating, I can NEVER find a woman who doesn't want kids. I don't want kids!! I don't have the patience to handle them. I've already been raising my younger siblings all these years and I don't want to have to end up raising more children again once I get married. Why is it so hard for women to understand that?
Your first post on marriage was well-said, but this one here is lacking in a key component. Children are the fruit of love between the man and woman. Why deny that? It's part of the whole theology on marriage, the crowning ceremony even calls for sons and daughters. Picking and choosing from our teachings on marriage will leave us no better off than our godless culture. If it's God's will for you to marry, then He will give you the grace to raise children. Trust Him.

In Christ,
Andrew
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"I will pour out my prayer unto the Lord, and to Him will I proclaim my grief; for with evils my soul is filled, and my life unto hades hath drawn nigh, and like Jonah I will pray: From corruption raise me up, O God." -Ode VI, Irmos of the Supplicatory Canon to the Theotokos
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« Reply #47 on: March 16, 2013, 04:03:39 PM »

What is it with chicks always wanting to experience a "family" and have children? This is one of my biggest problems when dating, I can NEVER find a woman who doesn't want kids. I don't want kids!! I don't have the patience to handle them. I've already been raising my younger siblings all these years and I don't want to have to end up raising more children again once I get married. Why is it so hard for women to understand that?

Though I agreed with your sentiments in the previous post, I can't say that I do with this one Wink But I don't mind it that I don't agree.
Here's my perspective.

Having children (or being a wife for that matter), for me at least, is simply NOT to do/be just that. For me, it's really a spiritually thing, in the sense that the Lord gives me the following gifts in this order: Spouse (Love), Marriage, Children. What this means to me as a woman, is a completion to a certain degree. Not to say that I am "complete" only if I am a wife/mother - no. To me it means that as a woman, the Lord has genetically/biologically/physically/spiritually instilled in me a desire (a want, need etc) for this. And upon maturity, I have acknowledge this desire, and I yearn for it.

Sadly, today's society has degraded marriage to a 'ball and chain,' 'what's mine is mine' pathetic concept that doesn't have anything to do with its true intention, a union in Christ. So, again, for me, this is what I mean by wanting to get married/have children. (Most) men just can't understand that, and, that's ok, I get it - you are not really 'made' to be "prepared" for it, as we women are (by God.)
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Faith2545
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« Reply #48 on: March 16, 2013, 04:06:00 PM »

What is it with chicks always wanting to experience a "family" and have children? This is one of my biggest problems when dating, I can NEVER find a woman who doesn't want kids. I don't want kids!! I don't have the patience to handle them. I've already been raising my younger siblings all these years and I don't want to have to end up raising more children again once I get married. Why is it so hard for women to understand that?
Your first post on marriage was well-said, but this one here is lacking in a key component. Children are the fruit of love between the man and woman. Why deny that? It's part of the whole theology on marriage, the crowning ceremony even calls for sons and daughters. Picking and choosing from our teachings on marriage will leave us no better off than our godless culture. If it's God's will for you to marry, then He will give you the grace to raise children. Trust Him.

In Christ,
Andrew

Thank you!

And just curious - are these conference gatherings for mid-thirties people? Or am I too old ?  Wink Are there any in the East coast?
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« Reply #49 on: March 16, 2013, 04:06:27 PM »

What is it with chicks always wanting to experience a "family" and have children? This is one of my biggest problems when dating, I can NEVER find a woman who doesn't want kids. I don't want kids!! I don't have the patience to handle them. I've already been raising my younger siblings all these years and I don't want to have to end up raising more children again once I get married. Why is it so hard for women to understand that?
Your first post on marriage was well-said, but this one here is lacking in a key component. Children are the fruit of love between the man and woman. Why deny that? It's part of the whole theology on marriage, the crowning ceremony even calls for sons and daughters. Picking and choosing from our teachings on marriage will leave us no better off than our godless culture. If it's God's will for you to marry, then He will give you the grace to raise children. Trust Him.

In Christ,
Andrew

Thank you, well said!

And just curious - are these conference gatherings for mid-thirties people? Or am I too old ?  Wink Are there any in the East coast?
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« Reply #50 on: March 16, 2013, 04:06:52 PM »

What is it with chicks always wanting to experience a "family" and have children? This is one of my biggest problems when dating, I can NEVER find a woman who doesn't want kids. I don't want kids!! I don't have the patience to handle them. I've already been raising my younger siblings all these years and I don't want to have to end up raising more children again once I get married. Why is it so hard for women to understand that?
Your first post on marriage was well-said, but this one here is lacking in a key component. Children are the fruit of love between the man and woman. Why deny that? It's part of the whole theology on marriage, the crowning ceremony even calls for sons and daughters. Picking and choosing from our teachings on marriage will leave us no better off than our godless culture. If it's God's will for you to marry, then He will give you the grace to raise children. Trust Him.

In Christ,
Andrew

Thank you, well said!

And just curious - are these conference gatherings for mid-thirties people? Or am I too old ?  Wink Are there any in the East coast?
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« Reply #51 on: March 16, 2013, 04:23:38 PM »


Every Orthodox youth conference ever. The ratio of women to me is at least 4:1 in my experience.

In Christ,
Andrew

Yeah, but those are youth conferences. Meant for teenagers, right? Or are there people in their mid 20's too at these gatherings?
There are more people in their mid 20s than not. Also, try visiting a monastery. When I visited a nearby one, the abbot tried to set me up with a girl from a local parish in the area and even offered to let me use his car to go there for liturgy to meet her. Wink

Also where in the South are you?

In Christ,
Andrew
[/quote]

Charleston, SC. There are two Orthodox churches that I know of in this area. One is an OCA church, the other is a Greek Orthodox church. I've attended one Divine Liturgy at the OCA church and talked with the priest a few times there. It's a nice church, but pretty small. I've not seen what the Greek Orthodox one looks like, but I'm pretty sure it's pretty small as well. Anyway, I'm probably getting ahead of myself since I'm not even sure if I'm going to convert yet, but I'm trying to anticipate possible difficulties in the future if I do. I know, I know, if the Orthodox church is the true church, then I've gotta convert no matter what, even if that means if I stay single for the rest of my life. But.....ughhhhh. It's hard enough to convert already; family is strongly Protestant, my friends are all Protestant, and if I have to stay single forever then it's just added difficulties. It seems like it would be pretty lonely. But ya gotta do what ya gotta do.  Undecided
« Last Edit: March 16, 2013, 04:32:05 PM by DeepMagic » Logged
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« Reply #52 on: March 16, 2013, 04:34:09 PM »

And sorry that my posts look weird. It seems that I haven't gotten the hang of this quote thingy yet.
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« Reply #53 on: March 16, 2013, 04:55:15 PM »

And sorry that my posts look weird. It seems that I haven't gotten the hang of this quote thingy yet.
What happened was probably that you deleted the top part that says something like [quote author=name link=topic=#### (this is followed by a close bracket, but entering it now will affect the formatting of this post.)
It's still readable though.

And regarding an earlier post here, many evangelicals are generally crazy.
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« Reply #54 on: March 16, 2013, 05:06:39 PM »

What is it with chicks always wanting to experience a "family" and have children? This is one of my biggest problems when dating, I can NEVER find a woman who doesn't want kids. I don't want kids!! I don't have the patience to handle them. I've already been raising my younger siblings all these years and I don't want to have to end up raising more children again once I get married. Why is it so hard for women to understand that?

Though I agreed with your sentiments in the previous post, I can't say that I do with this one Wink But I don't mind it that I don't agree.
Here's my perspective.

Having children (or being a wife for that matter), for me at least, is simply NOT to do/be just that. For me, it's really a spiritually thing, in the sense that the Lord gives me the following gifts in this order: Spouse (Love), Marriage, Children. What this means to me as a woman, is a completion to a certain degree. Not to say that I am "complete" only if I am a wife/mother - no. To me it means that as a woman, the Lord has genetically/biologically/physically/spiritually instilled in me a desire (a want, need etc) for this. And upon maturity, I have acknowledge this desire, and I yearn for it.

Sadly, today's society has degraded marriage to a 'ball and chain,' 'what's mine is mine' pathetic concept that doesn't have anything to do with its true intention, a union in Christ. So, again, for me, this is what I mean by wanting to get married/have children. (Most) men just can't understand that, and, that's ok, I get it - you are not really 'made' to be "prepared" for it, as we women are (by God.)

Do you think that you scare men away with your insistence on being married and having children?
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« Reply #55 on: March 16, 2013, 05:10:07 PM »

What is it with chicks always wanting to experience a "family" and have children? This is one of my biggest problems when dating, I can NEVER find a woman who doesn't want kids. I don't want kids!! I don't have the patience to handle them. I've already been raising my younger siblings all these years and I don't want to have to end up raising more children again once I get married. Why is it so hard for women to understand that?

Though I agreed with your sentiments in the previous post, I can't say that I do with this one Wink But I don't mind it that I don't agree.
Here's my perspective.

Having children (or being a wife for that matter), for me at least, is simply NOT to do/be just that. For me, it's really a spiritually thing, in the sense that the Lord gives me the following gifts in this order: Spouse (Love), Marriage, Children. What this means to me as a woman, is a completion to a certain degree. Not to say that I am "complete" only if I am a wife/mother - no. To me it means that as a woman, the Lord has genetically/biologically/physically/spiritually instilled in me a desire (a want, need etc) for this. And upon maturity, I have acknowledge this desire, and I yearn for it.

Sadly, today's society has degraded marriage to a 'ball and chain,' 'what's mine is mine' pathetic concept that doesn't have anything to do with its true intention, a union in Christ. So, again, for me, this is what I mean by wanting to get married/have children. (Most) men just can't understand that, and, that's ok, I get it - you are not really 'made' to be "prepared" for it, as we women are (by God.)

Do you think that you scare men away with your insistence on being married and having children?

Sigh... How awful...

Pity my grandparents, having three kids and being married 55+ years. What were they thinking?

  Cry
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« Reply #56 on: March 16, 2013, 05:15:38 PM »

What is it with chicks always wanting to experience a "family" and have children? This is one of my biggest problems when dating, I can NEVER find a woman who doesn't want kids. I don't want kids!! I don't have the patience to handle them. I've already been raising my younger siblings all these years and I don't want to have to end up raising more children again once I get married. Why is it so hard for women to understand that?

Though I agreed with your sentiments in the previous post, I can't say that I do with this one Wink But I don't mind it that I don't agree.
Here's my perspective.

Having children (or being a wife for that matter), for me at least, is simply NOT to do/be just that. For me, it's really a spiritually thing, in the sense that the Lord gives me the following gifts in this order: Spouse (Love), Marriage, Children. What this means to me as a woman, is a completion to a certain degree. Not to say that I am "complete" only if I am a wife/mother - no. To me it means that as a woman, the Lord has genetically/biologically/physically/spiritually instilled in me a desire (a want, need etc) for this. And upon maturity, I have acknowledge this desire, and I yearn for it.

Sadly, today's society has degraded marriage to a 'ball and chain,' 'what's mine is mine' pathetic concept that doesn't have anything to do with its true intention, a union in Christ. So, again, for me, this is what I mean by wanting to get married/have children. (Most) men just can't understand that, and, that's ok, I get it - you are not really 'made' to be "prepared" for it, as we women are (by God.)

Do you think that you scare men away with your insistence on being married and having children?

Sigh... How awful...

What's awful?

Pity my grandparents, having three kids and being married 55+ years. What were they thinking?

  Cry

Many years to them. 
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Faith2545
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« Reply #57 on: March 16, 2013, 05:20:31 PM »

What is it with chicks always wanting to experience a "family" and have children? This is one of my biggest problems when dating, I can NEVER find a woman who doesn't want kids. I don't want kids!! I don't have the patience to handle them. I've already been raising my younger siblings all these years and I don't want to have to end up raising more children again once I get married. Why is it so hard for women to understand that?

Though I agreed with your sentiments in the previous post, I can't say that I do with this one Wink But I don't mind it that I don't agree.
Here's my perspective.

Having children (or being a wife for that matter), for me at least, is simply NOT to do/be just that. For me, it's really a spiritually thing, in the sense that the Lord gives me the following gifts in this order: Spouse (Love), Marriage, Children. What this means to me as a woman, is a completion to a certain degree. Not to say that I am "complete" only if I am a wife/mother - no. To me it means that as a woman, the Lord has genetically/biologically/physically/spiritually instilled in me a desire (a want, need etc) for this. And upon maturity, I have acknowledge this desire, and I yearn for it.

Sadly, today's society has degraded marriage to a 'ball and chain,' 'what's mine is mine' pathetic concept that doesn't have anything to do with its true intention, a union in Christ. So, again, for me, this is what I mean by wanting to get married/have children. (Most) men just can't understand that, and, that's ok, I get it - you are not really 'made' to be "prepared" for it, as we women are (by God.)

Do you think that you scare men away with your insistence on being married and having children?

If you're implying that I wear a sign around my neck - I do not.

Please don't add unfruitful comments to this post. You're the only one who doesnt 'get' what I'm talking about.
Thank you.
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« Reply #58 on: March 16, 2013, 05:21:12 PM »

I ask non-Orthodox users to refrain from posting their theological opinions here.
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« Reply #59 on: March 16, 2013, 05:25:12 PM »

Okay sorry.
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« Reply #60 on: March 16, 2013, 05:26:38 PM »

I ask non-Orthodox users to refrain from posting their theological opinions here.

I can't tell if that's directed at me or not. Is it? Sorry if I violated any rules, and I'll be happy to bow out if I said anything wrong.
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« Reply #61 on: March 16, 2013, 05:32:21 PM »

I ask non-Orthodox users to refrain from posting their theological opinions here.

I can't tell if that's directed at me or not. Is it? Sorry if I violated any rules, and I'll be happy to bow out if I said anything wrong.

Not only you. There is no need to feel special. Can't you start a similar thread in Orth-Other Christian?
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« Reply #62 on: March 16, 2013, 06:07:22 PM »

What is it with chicks always wanting to experience a "family" and have children? This is one of my biggest problems when dating, I can NEVER find a woman who doesn't want kids. I don't want kids!! I don't have the patience to handle them. I've already been raising my younger siblings all these years and I don't want to have to end up raising more children again once I get married. Why is it so hard for women to understand that?

Though I agreed with your sentiments in the previous post, I can't say that I do with this one Wink But I don't mind it that I don't agree.
Here's my perspective.

Having children (or being a wife for that matter), for me at least, is simply NOT to do/be just that. For me, it's really a spiritually thing, in the sense that the Lord gives me the following gifts in this order: Spouse (Love), Marriage, Children. What this means to me as a woman, is a completion to a certain degree. Not to say that I am "complete" only if I am a wife/mother - no. To me it means that as a woman, the Lord has genetically/biologically/physically/spiritually instilled in me a desire (a want, need etc) for this. And upon maturity, I have acknowledge this desire, and I yearn for it.

Sadly, today's society has degraded marriage to a 'ball and chain,' 'what's mine is mine' pathetic concept that doesn't have anything to do with its true intention, a union in Christ. So, again, for me, this is what I mean by wanting to get married/have children. (Most) men just can't understand that, and, that's ok, I get it - you are not really 'made' to be "prepared" for it, as we women are (by God.)

Do you think that you scare men away with your insistence on being married and having children?

If you're implying that I wear a sign around my neck - I do not.

I never implied that you wore a sign around your neck.  When you say that men are not "prepared" to get married, unite in Christ and have your children, that has to come from somewhere.

Please don't add unfruitful comments to this post. You're the only one who doesnt 'get' what I'm talking about.
Thank you.

Kindly explain.  I'm interested in hearing this explanation.   Smiley

EDIT:

I am very proud of my faith and consider myself devout. I've always said I'd marry an (Greek) Orthodox Christian, only because it would mean a great deal to me to raise my family according to how I believe. However, living in a multicultural city, finding such a person has become virtually impossible for me (let alone finding a nice person.)

A friend of mine was in a similar predicament.  He was set up on a blind date and wound up marrying a very nice woman who converted to Orthodox Christianity.

I can't see myself lowering my standards just to 'settle,' and get married, however, if I don't then do I risk being alone for the rest of my life?

I don't know.  Just be yourself.

I don't think God wants me to be lonely and alone. But why hasn't it happened for me yet?

It hasn't happened for me.  At least you aren't alone.

Do I give in and just date 'anyone?" Personally, I would only consider Catholics. But I still don't want to do that. What are your opinions regarding marrying outside our faith?

I prefer to marry within the Orthodox faith.  If I were to marry a non-Orthodox woman, she would have to convert to the Orthodox faith.  There would be no "Interfaith" marriage where I practiced Orthodoxy and she practiced whatever.

I married outside the church and things didn't work out for me.  My ex-wife attended a couple of Divine Liturgies; she wasn't interested in learning about the Orthodox faith.  I didn't do a good job in teaching her and her relatives about the faith.
« Last Edit: March 16, 2013, 06:20:43 PM by SolEX01 » Logged
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« Reply #63 on: March 16, 2013, 06:28:18 PM »

^ Sol,

By 'prepared,' I did not mean that men I've met are not prepared - and nor did I mean 'my' children.

I was simply replying to the poster who GENERALLY spoke about why he doesn't understand why HE thinks all women want is to have kids. This "you are not really 'made' to be "prepared" for it, as we women are (by God.)" was a GENERAL response, meaning (in my opinion) I believe women are predispositioned to wanting kids, given my reasoning in that particular post.

I did not mean I am the one, nor that I ask men after saying Hello, "do you want kids." There is no desparation meant to be implied in my initial post, and that is what I think/thought you did not 'get.' All is forgiven though, it happens.
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« Reply #64 on: March 16, 2013, 06:33:21 PM »

What is it with chicks always wanting to experience a "family" and have children? This is one of my biggest problems when dating, I can NEVER find a woman who doesn't want kids. I don't want kids!! I don't have the patience to handle them. I've already been raising my younger siblings all these years and I don't want to have to end up raising more children again once I get married. Why is it so hard for women to understand that?

Though I agreed with your sentiments in the previous post, I can't say that I do with this one Wink But I don't mind it that I don't agree.
Here's my perspective.

Having children (or being a wife for that matter), for me at least, is simply NOT to do/be just that. For me, it's really a spiritually thing, in the sense that the Lord gives me the following gifts in this order: Spouse (Love), Marriage, Children. What this means to me as a woman, is a completion to a certain degree. Not to say that I am "complete" only if I am a wife/mother - no. To me it means that as a woman, the Lord has genetically/biologically/physically/spiritually instilled in me a desire (a want, need etc) for this. And upon maturity, I have acknowledge this desire, and I yearn for it.

Sadly, today's society has degraded marriage to a 'ball and chain,' 'what's mine is mine' pathetic concept that doesn't have anything to do with its true intention, a union in Christ. So, again, for me, this is what I mean by wanting to get married/have children. (Most) men just can't understand that, and, that's ok, I get it - you are not really 'made' to be "prepared" for it, as we women are (by God.)

Have you ever actually had children or extensive experience raising them--pitfalls, disadvantages, tantrums and all--or do you have this romanticized view of it being easy and amazing and giving value to you? I'm not trying to offend you or anything, nor do I mean to ridicule your feelings, but I know many women just like you, and from my experience, none of them really know what children are like. They mostly just take this romantic view of it with no experience under their belt. Take this one girl I knew, she was an only-child in her household, yet, she told me that she wants to have 4 children someday. That's crazy.

Until you've been raising them or helping raise them for 10+ years like me, I don't think anyone's opinion on raising children is valid. Likewise, I think this feminine view of children and being a mother/wife "completing" them is somewhat unhealthy--for one, it indicates dissatisfaction with yourself, and second, it uses other people such as children and/or a husband as mere objects to satisfy your personal dissatisfaction.

Lastly, you say that men will "never" understand it, and maybe we won't, but do you think you'll ever understood manhood? What children mean for us? And maybe some of the reasons why many of us are reluctant about them? You make it sound as if not desiring marriage or children yet is somehow immature or selfish, in reality, it isn't. If anything, it may be more mature because you are not getting yourself locked into something yet that you don't think you're ready for. Sometimes we just want to date to learn about females and/or have fun, why can't YOU understand that? Or sometimes we DO want to get married, but we just don't want to have children right away. It's tough. And until you've dealt with a mouthy 10 year old and monstrous 2 1/2 year old, I don't think you understand.
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« Reply #65 on: March 16, 2013, 06:34:31 PM »

Sol, thank you for the elaborated questions-answers. I just wanted to hear some opinions on the subject. I find this site very informative and refreshing.

I will carry on with my quest and continue to believe.
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« Reply #66 on: March 16, 2013, 06:41:47 PM »

^ Sol,

By 'prepared,' I did not mean that men I've met are not prepared - and nor did I mean 'my' children.

I was simply replying to the poster who GENERALLY spoke about why he doesn't understand why HE thinks all women want is to have kids. This "you are not really 'made' to be "prepared" for it, as we women are (by God.)" was a GENERAL response, meaning (in my opinion) I believe women are predispositioned to wanting kids, given my reasoning in that particular post.

You started the sentence by saying "(Most) men just can't understand that ..." and continued with your response to James.  The "(Most) men just can't understand that ..." is what caused the reply.

I did not mean I am the one, nor that I ask men after saying Hello, "do you want kids." There is no desparation meant to be implied in my initial post, and that is what I think/thought you did not 'get.'

In your posts, you give off a sense of desperation.  I have another friend who married and will soon have 2 children under the age of 2.

All is forgiven though, it happens.

In the spirit of Forgiveness, may God forgive us all.   angel
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« Reply #67 on: March 16, 2013, 06:41:53 PM »

What is it with chicks always wanting to experience a "family" and have children? This is one of my biggest problems when dating, I can NEVER find a woman who doesn't want kids. I don't want kids!! I don't have the patience to handle them. I've already been raising my younger siblings all these years and I don't want to have to end up raising more children again once I get married. Why is it so hard for women to understand that?

Though I agreed with your sentiments in the previous post, I can't say that I do with this one Wink But I don't mind it that I don't agree.
Here's my perspective.

Having children (or being a wife for that matter), for me at least, is simply NOT to do/be just that. For me, it's really a spiritually thing, in the sense that the Lord gives me the following gifts in this order: Spouse (Love), Marriage, Children. What this means to me as a woman, is a completion to a certain degree. Not to say that I am "complete" only if I am a wife/mother - no. To me it means that as a woman, the Lord has genetically/biologically/physically/spiritually instilled in me a desire (a want, need etc) for this. And upon maturity, I have acknowledge this desire, and I yearn for it.

Sadly, today's society has degraded marriage to a 'ball and chain,' 'what's mine is mine' pathetic concept that doesn't have anything to do with its true intention, a union in Christ. So, again, for me, this is what I mean by wanting to get married/have children. (Most) men just can't understand that, and, that's ok, I get it - you are not really 'made' to be "prepared" for it, as we women are (by God.)

Have you ever actually had children or extensive experience raising them--pitfalls, disadvantages, tantrums and all--or do you have this romanticized view of it being easy and amazing and giving value to you? I'm not trying to offend you or anything, nor do I mean to ridicule your feelings, but I know many women just like you, and from my experience, none of them really know what children are like. They mostly just take this romantic view of it with no experience under their belt. Take this one girl I knew, she was an only-child in her household, yet, she told me that she wants to have 4 children someday. That's crazy.

Until you've been raising them or helping raise them for 10+ years like me, I don't think anyone's opinion on raising children is valid. Likewise, I think this feminine view of children and being a mother/wife "completing" them is somewhat unhealthy--for one, it indicates dissatisfaction with yourself, and second, it uses other people such as children and/or a husband as mere objects to satisfy your personal dissatisfaction.

Lastly, you say that men will "never" understand it, and maybe we won't, but do you think you'll ever understood manhood? What children mean for us? And maybe some of the reasons why many of us are reluctant about them? You make it sound as if not desiring marriage or children yet is somehow immature or selfish, in reality, it isn't. If anything, it may be more mature because you are not getting yourself locked into something yet that you don't think you're ready for. Sometimes we just want to date to learn about females and/or have fun, why can't YOU understand that? Or sometimes we DO want to get married, but we just don't want to have children right away. It's tough. And until you've dealt with a mouthy 10 year old and monstrous 2 1/2 year old, I don't think you understand.

I see your point. Again, this isn't the issue - how children will behave, how hard it is etc. Who gets experience or takes a 'course' on how to's have/raise kids and then goes and has them? No one really! And if they are as hard as you say to raise (not arguing here,) then the whole human race would have died centuries ago. this is not the isssue i wanted to raise!!!

Who said marriage/kids is easy? Have I said this? No. Do I imply this? No. Do I think it'll be a fantacy-like experience, as you say? No.
This is not what I'm talking about!! Period.

I want to experience the Sacrament of marriage with the right man, and whatever that brings!! That's all!!!
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« Reply #68 on: March 16, 2013, 06:58:54 PM »

What is it with chicks always wanting to experience a "family" and have children? This is one of my biggest problems when dating, I can NEVER find a woman who doesn't want kids. I don't want kids!! I don't have the patience to handle them. I've already been raising my younger siblings all these years and I don't want to have to end up raising more children again once I get married. Why is it so hard for women to understand that?


 You make it sound as if not desiring marriage or children yet is somehow immature or selfish, in reality, it isn't. If anything, it may be more mature because you are not getting yourself locked into something yet that you don't think you're ready for.

This is your opinion about having kids. And I respect it as your opinion. It's like saying, I prefer dating blonds only...for now.

You may not be ready for it. You say this. Whereas, I am. I still don't understand why you didn't understand what I meant. Finding the right guy, WHO is at a point in his life that's ready to take on these challenges as I. This is all my post is about.
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« Reply #69 on: March 16, 2013, 07:00:42 PM »

I want to experience the Sacrament of marriage with the right man, and whatever that brings!! That's all!!!

I was considering marriage to an Orthodox woman who couldn't keep her finances in order.  One night, we went out to dinner and her credit card was declined.  Fortunately, I had cash and I paid for the meal while wondering why her credit card was declined.  I guessed that she had no money in her checking account.  I told her that we came close to being arrested for stealing and that we needed to check her account balance.  Her account was very overdrawn.  Turns out that she was spending her money on online psychics.  I broke up with her a month later and never looked back.

I haven't dated since then.  Most of my male Orthodox friends have married within Orthodox Christianity.  Most of my female Orthodox friends have married interfaith.  That's why it's called life.   Smiley
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« Reply #70 on: March 16, 2013, 07:00:50 PM »

What is it with chicks always wanting to experience a "family" and have children? This is one of my biggest problems when dating, I can NEVER find a woman who doesn't want kids. I don't want kids!! I don't have the patience to handle them. I've already been raising my younger siblings all these years and I don't want to have to end up raising more children again once I get married. Why is it so hard for women to understand that?


 You make it sound as if not desiring marriage or children yet is somehow immature or selfish, in reality, it isn't. If anything, it may be more mature because you are not getting yourself locked into something yet that you don't think you're ready for.

This is your opinion about having kids. And I respect it as your opinion. It's like saying, I prefer dating blonds only...for now. I never said anything or judged a man on whether or not he wants kids. All I said is that I believe women are predispositioned to want them. Thats' all.

You may not be ready for it. You say this. Whereas, I am. I still don't understand why you didn't understand what I meant. Finding the right guy, WHO is at a point in his life that's ready to take on these challenges as I. This is all my post is about.
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« Reply #71 on: March 16, 2013, 07:02:41 PM »

I want to experience the Sacrament of marriage with the right man, and whatever that brings!! That's all!!!

I was considering marriage to an Orthodox woman who couldn't keep her finances in order.  One night, we went out to dinner and her credit card was declined.  Fortunately, I had cash and I paid for the meal while wondering why her credit card was declined.  I guessed that she had no money in her checking account.  I told her that we came close to being arrested for stealing and that we needed to check her account balance.  Her account was very overdrawn.  Turns out that she was spending her money on online psychics.  I broke up with her a month later and never looked back.

I haven't dated since then.  Most of my male Orthodox friends have married within Orthodox Christianity.  Most of my female Orthodox friends have married interfaith.  That's why it's called life.   Smiley

So, in essence, your journey continues as well!! Smiley
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« Reply #72 on: March 16, 2013, 07:03:10 PM »

"When I visited a nearby one, the abbot tried to set me up with a girl from a local parish in the area and even offered to let me use his car to go there for liturgy to meet her."

Wow!
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« Reply #73 on: March 16, 2013, 07:05:31 PM »

I want to experience the Sacrament of marriage with the right man, and whatever that brings!! That's all!!!

I was considering marriage to an Orthodox woman who couldn't keep her finances in order.  One night, we went out to dinner and her credit card was declined.  Fortunately, I had cash and I paid for the meal while wondering why her credit card was declined.  I guessed that she had no money in her checking account.  I told her that we came close to being arrested for stealing and that we needed to check her account balance.  Her account was very overdrawn.  Turns out that she was spending her money on online psychics.  I broke up with her a month later and never looked back.

I haven't dated since then.  Most of my male Orthodox friends have married within Orthodox Christianity.  Most of my female Orthodox friends have married interfaith.  That's why it's called life.   Smiley

So, in essence, your journey continues as well!! Smiley

I just try to be myself.   Grin 
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« Reply #74 on: March 16, 2013, 07:12:25 PM »

You make it sound as if not desiring marriage or children yet is somehow immature or selfish, in reality, it isn't. If anything, it may be more mature because you are not getting yourself locked into something yet that you don't think you're ready for.

This is your opinion about having kids. And I respect it as your opinion. It's like saying, I prefer dating blonds only...for now. I never said anything or judged a man on whether or not he wants kids. All I said is that I believe women are predispositioned to want them. Thats' all.

You may not be ready for it. You say this. Whereas, I am. I still don't understand why you didn't understand what I meant. Finding the right guy, WHO is at a point in his life that's ready to take on these challenges as I. This is all my post is about.

Don't mind James; he's still a kid himself. Wink

I married at 36 (a disaffected Anglican who is still on his way to Orthodoxy). Even my mother had given up on me. I didn't much care; I wanted Mr Right and I was willing to wait. I have had a child of my own and I feel complete in that department - never cared to go for a basketball team. After all, I couldn't imagine how tough it is to deal with a stroppy teenager until I had to take on my stepdaughter! Wink

Have faith and trust, accept that God doesn't work on a human timeline, put yourself out there and keep your eyes open.
« Last Edit: March 16, 2013, 07:13:48 PM by Arachne » Logged

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« Reply #75 on: March 16, 2013, 07:13:06 PM »

I want to experience the Sacrament of marriage with the right man, and whatever that brings!! That's all!!!

I was considering marriage to an Orthodox woman who couldn't keep her finances in order.  One night, we went out to dinner and her credit card was declined.  Fortunately, I had cash and I paid for the meal while wondering why her credit card was declined.  I guessed that she had no money in her checking account.  I told her that we came close to being arrested for stealing and that we needed to check her account balance.  Her account was very overdrawn.  Turns out that she was spending her money on online psychics.  I broke up with her a month later and never looked back.

I haven't dated since then.  Most of my male Orthodox friends have married within Orthodox Christianity.  Most of my female Orthodox friends have married interfaith.  That's why it's called life.   Smiley

So, in essence, your journey continues as well!! Smiley

I just try to be myself.   Grin 

That's all I do Smiley
I guess over the computer things can get miscontrued Smiley
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« Reply #76 on: March 16, 2013, 07:15:12 PM »

You make it sound as if not desiring marriage or children yet is somehow immature or selfish, in reality, it isn't. If anything, it may be more mature because you are not getting yourself locked into something yet that you don't think you're ready for.

This is your opinion about having kids. And I respect it as your opinion. It's like saying, I prefer dating blonds only...for now. I never said anything or judged a man on whether or not he wants kids. All I said is that I believe women are predispositioned to want them. Thats' all.

You may not be ready for it. You say this. Whereas, I am. I still don't understand why you didn't understand what I meant. Finding the right guy, WHO is at a point in his life that's ready to take on these challenges as I. This is all my post is about.


 I wanted Mr Right and I was willing to wait. I have had a child of my own and I feel complete in that department -

Have faith and trust, accept that God doesn't work on a human timeline, put yourself out there and keep your eyes open.

Thank you! My point exactly Wink
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« Reply #77 on: March 16, 2013, 07:18:42 PM »

I want to experience the Sacrament of marriage with the right man, and whatever that brings!! That's all!!!

I was considering marriage to an Orthodox woman who couldn't keep her finances in order.  One night, we went out to dinner and her credit card was declined.  Fortunately, I had cash and I paid for the meal while wondering why her credit card was declined.  I guessed that she had no money in her checking account.  I told her that we came close to being arrested for stealing and that we needed to check her account balance.  Her account was very overdrawn.  Turns out that she was spending her money on online psychics.  I broke up with her a month later and never looked back.

I haven't dated since then.  Most of my male Orthodox friends have married within Orthodox Christianity.  Most of my female Orthodox friends have married interfaith.  That's why it's called life.   Smiley

So, in essence, your journey continues as well!! Smiley

I just try to be myself.   Grin 

That's all I do Smiley
I guess over the computer things can get miscontrued Smiley

Yeah, it's easy to misconstrue text.   Smiley
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« Reply #78 on: March 17, 2013, 12:25:24 AM »

Just gonna leave these here...

Canon 10 of the Council of Laodicea
The members of the Church shall not indiscriminately marry their children to heretics.

Canon 31 of the Council of Laodicea
It is riot lawful to make marriages with all heretics, nor to give our sons and daughters to them; but rather to take of them, if they promise to become Christians.

Canon 21 of the 419 Council of Carthage
Likewise it seemed good that the sons of clergymen should not be joined in matrimony with gentiles and heretics.

Canon 14 of the Council of Chalcedon
Since in certain provinces it is permitted to the readers and singers to marry, the holy Synod has decreed that it shall not be lawful for any of them to take a wife that is heterodox. But those who have already begotten children of such a marriage, if they have already had their children baptized among the heretics, must bring them into the communion of the Catholic Church; but if they have not had them baptized, they may not hereafter baptize them among heretics, nor give them in marriage to a heretic, or a Jew, or a heathen, unless the person marrying the orthodox child shall promise to come over to the orthodox faith. And if any one shall transgress this decree of the holy synod, let him be subjected to canonical censure.

Canon 72 of the Council of Trullo
An orthodox man is not permitted to marry an heretical woman, nor an orthodox woman to be joined to an heretical man. But if anything of this kind appear to have been done by any to consider the marriage null, and that the marriage be dissolved. For it is not fitting to mingle together what should not be mingled, nor is it right that the sheep be joined with the wolf, nor the lot of sinners with the portion of Christ. But if any one shall transgress the things which we have decreed let him be cut off. But if any who up to this time are unbelievers and are not yet numbered in the flock of the orthodox have contracted lawful marriage between themselves, and if then, one choosing the right and coming to the light of truth and the other remaining still detained by the bond of error and not willing to behold with steady eye the divine rays, the unbelieving woman is pleased to cohabit with the believing man, or the unbelieving man with the believing woman, let them not be separated, according to the divine Apostle, “for the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife by her husband.”


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Αναστάς ο Ιησούς από του τάφου, καθώς προείπεν, έδωκεν ημίν την αιώνιον ζωήν και το μέγα έλεος.
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« Reply #79 on: March 17, 2013, 12:34:14 AM »

Well, that certainly doesn't look promising for marrying outside the Church.

Some are married outside the faith, but have reduced opportunity to participate in the Mysteries. 

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« Reply #80 on: March 17, 2013, 05:21:37 AM »

about youth conferences; many churches (eg. mine) have general conferences, where people of any age can go.
this would be a good place to meet people, as you will find people who are interested in learning more about God, and this is a very good basis for any friendship or deeper relationship.

i met my husband (we were both protestants) at an international Christian music festival. there were grandparents, children and everyone in between.
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« Reply #81 on: March 17, 2013, 07:35:54 AM »

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Dating/Marrying Non-Orthodox Christians. Thoughts?


Don't do it.
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« Reply #82 on: March 17, 2013, 07:53:45 AM »

dating should be for marriage.  And I wouldn't marry someone of a different faith
^ This!  This right here!  This is amazing stuff for those who are not married.
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« Reply #83 on: March 17, 2013, 07:55:48 AM »

I find this to be a depressing subject to think about. As a single guy in his mid 20s who's considering possible conversion to Orthodoxy, it seems that the chances of finding a like minded girl my age is pretty low. I live in the south, where Orthodoxy is pretty rare.
One does not covert to the Orthodox Church based on probability of marriage.  One converts because one believes it to be THE Apostolic Church.
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« Reply #84 on: March 17, 2013, 08:00:01 AM »


Sorry  Cry

I've come to terms with it over the years, I think. But you shouldn't lose hope angel

Over the years?? According to your profile you're only 18!   Huh
Ahh, children...

Mmmm, ah, I see. That's motivating, somehow, I think.

My parents and my friends have come to the same conclusion as me anyway.

You do realize the day after you cash in, Mrs. Perfect for Cyrillic will walk around the corner.
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« Reply #85 on: March 17, 2013, 08:02:27 AM »

What is it with chicks always wanting to experience a "family" and have children? ... I can NEVER find a woman who doesn't want kids.

Just goes to show you what modern society tells us about women is wrong.  Men and women really are different.  God designed us the right way in the beginning.  Go figure. 
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« Reply #86 on: March 17, 2013, 08:07:26 AM »


Charleston, SC. There are two Orthodox churches that I know of in this area. One is an OCA church, the other is a Greek Orthodox church. I've attended one Divine Liturgy at the OCA church and talked with the priest a few times there. It's a nice church, but pretty small.
It’s a great parish!  Father John is super nice!  I had actually thought about moving there for this parish. 


I've not seen what the Greek Orthodox one looks like, but I'm pretty sure it's pretty small as well.

I have not either.  My parish is farther south, but it is Greek.  Columbia has a nice church as well.
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« Reply #87 on: March 19, 2013, 03:54:44 AM »

I used to have a Protestant friend who said that he wants to marry an atheist chick because he thinks that they would be "the most open-minded when it came to loving."
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