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Author Topic: Dating/Marrying Non-Orthodox Christians. Thoughts?  (Read 2970 times) Average Rating: 0
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Faith2545
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« on: March 16, 2013, 11:33:17 AM »

I am very proud of my faith and consider myself devout. I've always said I'd marry an (Greek) Orthodox Christian, only because it would mean a great deal to me to raise my family according to how I believe. However, living in a multicultural city, finding such a person has become virtually impossible for me (let alone finding a nice person.) I can't see myself lowering my standards just to 'settle,' and get married, however, if I don't then do I risk being alone for the rest of my life? I don't think God wants me to be lonely and alone. But why hasn't it happened for me yet?

Do I give in and just date 'anyone?" Personally, I would only consider Catholics. But I still don't want to do that. What are your opinions regarding marrying outside our faith?
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« Reply #1 on: March 16, 2013, 11:36:06 AM »

Are you saying that you're worried about marrying a non-Greek Orthodox?  Or an OO?  Or a Catholic/Protestant?  Or someone who doesn't know Christ?

I think there's little issue with the first, and probably with the 2nd.  The 3rd gets dicey; seems imprudent, frankly.  And the 4th is just right out unless you want to be unequally yoked to someone who may never have the same faith as you.


Marriage is difficult enough without disparity of worship.  My $0.02 as a married guy with several kids.
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« Reply #2 on: March 16, 2013, 11:40:04 AM »

Yes my fear is marrying non-Orthodox Christians. I said I would consider Catholics only. But I'm still reluctant to even do that. And no, I would never marry anyone who's Prottestant or any other group 'claiming' any belief in Christ.
« Last Edit: March 16, 2013, 11:41:54 AM by Faith2545 » Logged
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« Reply #3 on: March 16, 2013, 11:44:27 AM »

Others may jump in, but as a Catholic myself I would say that a mixed marriage (Orthodox/Catholic) is problematic.  Heck, even an Orthodox/Orthodox marriage if they can't be willing to use the same calendar (New vs. Old) would be a major impediment to family unity.  When do you celebrate Easter?  My Easter is March 31st; what if my wife's was in May?  Will she be feasting when I'm fasting and vice versa?

There's just too much differential there.  In my case, my wife had to change rite from Western to Eastern Catholic.  If she had not been willing, I would not have married her.

It's sometimes difficult to express to single young folks just how difficult it is to keep marriages together in modern society, AND then it's even more difficult to have a Christ-centered family life on top of that.  Any differences in belief will make for a difficult challenge.... unless both people just don't care.  Which, ironically, works pretty well in this world, not so much in the next.   Embarrassed
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Faith2545
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« Reply #4 on: March 16, 2013, 11:49:21 AM »

Others may jump in, but as a Catholic myself I would say that a mixed marriage (Orthodox/Catholic) is problematic.  Heck, even an Orthodox/Orthodox marriage if they can't be willing to use the same calendar (New vs. Old) would be a major impediment to family unity.  When do you celebrate Easter?  My Easter is March 31st; what if my wife's was in May?  Will she be feasting when I'm fasting and vice versa?

There's just too much differential there.  In my case, my wife had to change rite from Western to Eastern Catholic.  If she had not been willing, I would not have married her.

It's sometimes difficult to express to single young folks just how difficult it is to keep marriages together in modern society, AND then it's even more difficult to have a Christ-centered family life on top of that.  Any differences in belief will make for a difficult challenge.... unless both people just don't care.  Which, ironically, works pretty well in this world, not so much in the next.   Embarrassed

Yes, with all due respect, this is exactly what I want to avoid. But is that reason enough to stay single? I really want experience the Sacrament of Marriage - it means a lot to me - and to have children. Or else, I would have been a nun (no joke.) But the desire to be a wife and mother in a Orthodox sense is so important to me. I can't and wouldn't ignore this desire.
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« Reply #5 on: March 16, 2013, 12:04:42 PM »

Well, I refused to compromise on a wife even though it took me from the time I was 19 (yes, I was looking that young!) to almost the age of 30.

The key is to put God's will first in your life.  Although I would have been devastated had I not married, if it were God's will, what else can I do but submit to His will?  Jumping into a marriage with someone who I would be "unequally yoked" to would have ended in heartache for both of us.

It's a tough lesson, but our desires have to be subordinated to God's will.  Pray, pray fervently, pray with perseverance for a holy husband and, if God so desires, you are guaranteed that in the right time and right fashion it will become apparent.


In the meantime, I recommend dedicating yourself to zealous deeds:  prayer, fasting and charitable works.  Doing so will also increase your chances of finding a like-minded individual, so it's a little self-serving but I think God understands.  Wink
« Last Edit: March 16, 2013, 12:05:30 PM by orthros » Logged
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« Reply #6 on: March 16, 2013, 12:33:22 PM »

Well, I refused to compromise on a wife even though it took me from the time I was 19 (yes, I was looking that young!) to almost the age of 30.

The key is to put God's will first in your life.  Although I would have been devastated had I not married, if it were God's will, what else can I do but submit to His will?  Jumping into a marriage with someone who I would be "unequally yoked" to would have ended in heartache for both of us.

It's a tough lesson, but our desires have to be subordinated to God's will.  Pray, pray fervently, pray with perseverance for a holy husband and, if God so desires, you are guaranteed that in the right time and right fashion it will become apparent.


In the meantime, I recommend dedicating yourself to zealous deeds:  prayer, fasting and charitable works.  Doing so will also increase your chances of finding a like-minded individual, so it's a little self-serving but I think God understands.  Wink

Would you ever date people of a different faith?
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« Reply #7 on: March 16, 2013, 12:47:50 PM »

^  No.  I just think it's imprudent.  It's not a condemnation of the person but just a frank reality that dating should be for marriage.  And I wouldn't marry someone of a different faith because it tends to lead to indifferentism, usually on both parties' parts.  After all, a passionate Catholic married to a passionate Orthodox... how will the children be raised?  Will they see one parent as a heretic?  If not, how do you handle the truth without watering it down?  What about fasting and feasting days?  Will children follow the Christmas Fast with the mother or ignore it and eat meat throughout with the Father?


Life is difficult enough, and our souls easy enough to lose without adding unneeded temptations/distractions.
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« Reply #8 on: March 16, 2013, 01:11:23 PM »

I find this to be a depressing subject to think about. As a single guy in his mid 20s who's considering possible conversion to Orthodoxy, it seems that the chances of finding a like minded girl my age is pretty low. I live in the south, where Orthodoxy is pretty rare.
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« Reply #9 on: March 16, 2013, 01:33:35 PM »

God loves us, and if we seek first the kingdom of God, He will give us all the other things we need.

may He bless u all and lead you to the right partner / happy single life / monastery.

i am not being sarcastic; i had tea today with a happily single friend who is over 50, and we were blessed by the presence of a monk priest also (i don't like to guess the age of priests, they all look about 60, whether they are 40 or 80!). our group included a widowed lady and some young people who were single too.
i think i was the only married person there!
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Faith2545
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« Reply #10 on: March 16, 2013, 01:36:40 PM »

Well, I refused to compromise on a wife even though it took me from the time I was 19 (yes, I was looking that young!) to almost the age of 30.

The key is to put God's will first in your life.  Although I would have been devastated had I not married, if it were God's will, what else can I do but submit to His will?  Jumping into a marriage with someone who I would be "unequally yoked" to would have ended in heartache for both of us.

It's a tough lesson, but our desires have to be subordinated to God's will.  Pray, pray fervently, pray with perseverance for a holy husband and, if God so desires, you are guaranteed that in the right time and right fashion it will become apparent.


In the meantime, I recommend dedicating yourself to zealous deeds:  prayer, fasting and charitable works.  Doing so will also increase your chances of finding a like-minded individual, so it's a little self-serving but I think God understands.  Wink

Thank you for sharing your story. And advise. You helped me with percpective Smiley
I like to think I pray fervently with perserverance. To the Lord and the Virgin Mary morning and night. I have embraced Saints that help with 'finding' something, like a husband, like Saint Xenia, St. Phanourios, Saint Menas of Egypt, to name a few, since 3 years ago. I pray to them and I believe they hear me.

I just feel like I don't have an outlet. My church is full of married couples. I don't have friends that share my faith (those that do are married.) I'm the last one.

I always ask the Lord for direction, as well as a Godly spouse who will love Him first and then me. I'm in my mid thirties and it so hard to also avoid those who still see me 'single,' and as a woman the single status is so harsh on us socially.

I should fast more. Besides Easter & Christmas, and the fifteen days n August, I try very hard to keep the Wed/Fri fast. But I believe the Lord hears me. Look at all the stories we have in the Gospel - St Anna prayed long and hard for what she waited. Saint Elizabeth too, Saint Veronica....Saint Nektarios, another beloved saint of mine. I have so many on my side. I know they all help me!! I hope it's God's will for me to be a wife & mother...soon.
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« Reply #11 on: March 16, 2013, 01:38:54 PM »

I've given up.
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« Reply #12 on: March 16, 2013, 01:39:32 PM »

I've given up.

Given up on what?
« Last Edit: March 16, 2013, 01:43:11 PM by Cyrillic » Logged

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« Reply #13 on: March 16, 2013, 01:40:00 PM »


Hope.
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« Reply #14 on: March 16, 2013, 01:41:54 PM »

God loves us, and if we seek first the kingdom of God, He will give us all the other things we need.

may He bless u all and lead you to the right partner / happy single life / monastery.

i am not being sarcastic; i had tea today with a happily single friend who is over 50, and we were blessed by the presence of a monk priest also (i don't like to guess the age of priests, they all look about 60, whether they are 40 or 80!). our group included a widowed lady and some young people who were single too.
i think i was the only married person there!

Thank you so much for your post!! I wish I had a monastery near by, that I may pray to and visit as often as I could. I believe the Lord helps us all. I remember being in first grade and the teacher asking me what I wanted to be when I get older, and at first grade I said ' a mother!' I have no idea where that came from. I think the Lord must have put that desire in my heart. There's no way He won't fulfill it.
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« Reply #15 on: March 16, 2013, 01:42:46 PM »


Aren;t you insulting the Lord this way?
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Cyrillic
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« Reply #16 on: March 16, 2013, 01:48:21 PM »


Ah well, that makes two of us.
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« Reply #17 on: March 16, 2013, 01:49:59 PM »

Well, I refused to compromise on a wife even though it took me from the time I was 19 (yes, I was looking that young!) to almost the age of 30.

The key is to put God's will first in your life.  Although I would have been devastated had I not married, if it were God's will, what else can I do but submit to His will?  Jumping into a marriage with someone who I would be "unequally yoked" to would have ended in heartache for both of us.

It's a tough lesson, but our desires have to be subordinated to God's will.  Pray, pray fervently, pray with perseverance for a holy husband and, if God so desires, you are guaranteed that in the right time and right fashion it will become apparent.


In the meantime, I recommend dedicating yourself to zealous deeds:  prayer, fasting and charitable works.  Doing so will also increase your chances of finding a like-minded individual, so it's a little self-serving but I think God understands.  Wink

Thank you for sharing your story. And advise. You helped me with percpective Smiley
I like to think I pray fervently with perserverance. To the Lord and the Virgin Mary morning and night. I have embraced Saints that help with 'finding' something, like a husband, like Saint Xenia, St. Phanourios, Saint Menas of Egypt, to name a few, since 3 years ago. I pray to them and I believe they hear me.

I just feel like I don't have an outlet. My church is full of married couples. I don't have friends that share my faith (those that do are married.) I'm the last one.

I always ask the Lord for direction, as well as a Godly spouse who will love Him first and then me. I'm in my mid thirties and it so hard to also avoid those who still see me 'single,' and as a woman the single status is so harsh on us socially.

I should fast more. Besides Easter & Christmas, and the fifteen days n August, I try very hard to keep the Wed/Fri fast. But I believe the Lord hears me. Look at all the stories we have in the Gospel - St Anna prayed long and hard for what she waited. Saint Elizabeth too, Saint Veronica....Saint Nektarios, another beloved saint of mine. I have so many on my side. I know they all help me!! I hope it's God's will for me to be a wife & mother...soon.
I prayed to St. Xenia for 2 years and met my now fiancée last summer at an Orthodox Youth conference (though we are in our early 20s). Just so happens that she had been devoted to St. Xenia as well. Wink  One excellent piece of advice I received from my priest was that we should pray to God to help us become prepared for our future spouse. It also helps to prayer for your future spouse as well.

I recall hearing a lecture from a different priest one time who encouraged all the single Orthodox to create a list of qualities they would like to look for in their future spouse and then be those things. If you want a spouse who loves the Church, then love and serve the Church the best way God directs you. If you want a spouse who cooks, or gardens, or any other thing, do those things and like will attract like. Granted, my fiancée and I don't have everything in common (which is completely fine), but we had specific things we were seeking in a potential mate that we decided to pursue ourselves and God brought us together. Smiley

Keep praying and don't give up. You're in my prayers.

In Christ,
Andrew
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« Reply #18 on: March 16, 2013, 01:51:11 PM »

Aren't you in your teens?  Huh

Come to the US. There are more single Orthodox women than you can shake a stick at!  Grin

In Christ,
Andrew
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« Reply #19 on: March 16, 2013, 01:56:10 PM »

Ask your priest and his wife for help finding a wife. Abbots are also a good resource when trying to find a wife.
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« Reply #20 on: March 16, 2013, 01:56:35 PM »

Aren't you in your teens?  Huh

Come to the US. There are more single Orthodox women than you can shake a stick at!  Grin

In Christ,
Andrew

I'd be horrible at those things and besides, no girl would be interested in me anyway. I'm not the most socially competent or good looking fellow out there. My interests are somewhat out of the mainstream and I'm shy when it comes to those sorts of things. So no, I think I'll pass.

« Last Edit: March 16, 2013, 01:56:59 PM by Cyrillic » Logged

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« Reply #21 on: March 16, 2013, 02:01:07 PM »

Well, I refused to compromise on a wife even though it took me from the time I was 19 (yes, I was looking that young!) to almost the age of 30.

The key is to put God's will first in your life.  Although I would have been devastated had I not married, if it were God's will, what else can I do but submit to His will?  Jumping into a marriage with someone who I would be "unequally yoked" to would have ended in heartache for both of us.

It's a tough lesson, but our desires have to be subordinated to God's will.  Pray, pray fervently, pray with perseverance for a holy husband and, if God so desires, you are guaranteed that in the right time and right fashion it will become apparent.


In the meantime, I recommend dedicating yourself to zealous deeds:  prayer, fasting and charitable works.  Doing so will also increase your chances of finding a like-minded individual, so it's a little self-serving but I think God understands.  Wink

Thank you for sharing your story. And advise. You helped me with percpective Smiley
I like to think I pray fervently with perserverance. To the Lord and the Virgin Mary morning and night. I have embraced Saints that help with 'finding' something, like a husband, like Saint Xenia, St. Phanourios, Saint Menas of Egypt, to name a few, since 3 years ago. I pray to them and I believe they hear me.

I just feel like I don't have an outlet. My church is full of married couples. I don't have friends that share my faith (those that do are married.) I'm the last one.

I always ask the Lord for direction, as well as a Godly spouse who will love Him first and then me. I'm in my mid thirties and it so hard to also avoid those who still see me 'single,' and as a woman the single status is so harsh on us socially.

I should fast more. Besides Easter & Christmas, and the fifteen days n August, I try very hard to keep the Wed/Fri fast. But I believe the Lord hears me. Look at all the stories we have in the Gospel - St Anna prayed long and hard for what she waited. Saint Elizabeth too, Saint Veronica....Saint Nektarios, another beloved saint of mine. I have so many on my side. I know they all help me!! I hope it's God's will for me to be a wife & mother...soon.
I prayed to St. Xenia for 2 years and met my now fiancée last summer at an Orthodox Youth conference (though we are in our early 20s). Just so happens that she had been devoted to St. Xenia as well. Wink  One excellent piece of advice I received from my priest was that we should pray to God to help us become prepared for our future spouse. It also helps to prayer for your future spouse as well.

I recall hearing a lecture from a different priest one time who encouraged all the single Orthodox to create a list of qualities they would like to look for in their future spouse and then be those things. If you want a spouse who loves the Church, then love and serve the Church the best way God directs you. If you want a spouse who cooks, or gardens, or any other thing, do those things and like will attract like. Granted, my fiancée and I don't have everything in common (which is completely fine), but we had specific things we were seeking in a potential mate that we decided to pursue ourselves and God brought us together. Smiley

Keep praying and don't give up. You're in my prayers.

In Christ,
Andrew

Thank you for sharing your story! I'm so happy St Xenia helped you! God Bless!! I will continue to pray to her as I do.

That advise the priest gave you is great, thanks for letting me know. Though I believe I am praying along those lines too, I will improve my prayers and be more alert in the things I do. I often pray to st. Xenia by simply talking to her - is that okay? Or must we recite prayers of some kind?
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« Reply #22 on: March 16, 2013, 02:06:19 PM »

Aren't you in your teens?  Huh

Come to the US. There are more single Orthodox women than you can shake a stick at!  Grin

In Christ,
Andrew

Really? Where?
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« Reply #23 on: March 16, 2013, 02:07:13 PM »

Aren't you in your teens?  Huh

Come to the US. There are more single Orthodox women than you can shake a stick at!  Grin

In Christ,
Andrew

I'd be horrible at those things and besides, no girl would be interested in me anyway. I'm not the most socially competent or good looking fellow out there. My interests are somewhat out of the mainstream and I'm shy when it comes to those sorts of things. So no, I think I'll pass.



Sorry  Cry
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« Reply #24 on: March 16, 2013, 02:08:43 PM »

cyrillic, most socially incompetent people i know are married.
 Wink
faith 2545, i am nowhere near a monastery, i just turned up for church today (was by myself today) and there was this visiting monk priest! all the people who were hanging out looking for something to do (7 of us) ended up in a local coffee shop together (seeking social competence, no doubt!) and the priest was able to join us.

what i would say to all boring married people like myself is: 'hang out with single people, don't get into a boring married clique!', and to single people: 'married people are often looking for friends and baby sitters, don't sideline them!'
psalm 67:7 (68:6) explains that God settles the solitary in a house, and in verse 6 He is described as the Father of orphans.
lets be the family of God and embrace the lonely in our communities.
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« Reply #25 on: March 16, 2013, 02:25:34 PM »


Sorry  Cry

I've come to terms with it over the years, I think. But you shouldn't lose hope angel
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« Reply #26 on: March 16, 2013, 02:29:34 PM »

Aren't you in your teens?  Huh

Come to the US. There are more single Orthodox women than you can shake a stick at!  Grin

In Christ,
Andrew

I'd be horrible at those things and besides, no girl would be interested in me anyway. I'm not the most socially competent or good looking fellow out there. My interests are somewhat out of the mainstream and I'm shy when it comes to those sorts of things. So no, I think I'll pass.
Trust me, some girls/women are into some of the out of the mainstream.  Just be into the mainstream enough to get a conversation going, then show them the glories of the non-mainstream.  This may work best on artistic women, nerdy women, and possibly very educated women.
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« Reply #27 on: March 16, 2013, 02:33:22 PM »

Aren't you in your teens?  Huh

Come to the US. There are more single Orthodox women than you can shake a stick at!  Grin

In Christ,
Andrew

I'd be horrible at those things and besides, no girl would be interested in me anyway. I'm not the most socially competent or good looking fellow out there. My interests are somewhat out of the mainstream and I'm shy when it comes to those sorts of things. So no, I think I'll pass.


LOL. You haven't met me IRL. I'd make you look charismatic. Don't lose heart. You've got a good while yet. Smiley

In Christ,
Andrew
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« Reply #28 on: March 16, 2013, 02:34:32 PM »

Aren't you in your teens?  Huh

Come to the US. There are more single Orthodox women than you can shake a stick at!  Grin

In Christ,
Andrew

Really? Where?
Every Orthodox youth conference ever. The ratio of women to me is at least 4:1 in my experience.

In Christ,
Andrew
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"I will pour out my prayer unto the Lord, and to Him will I proclaim my grief; for with evils my soul is filled, and my life unto hades hath drawn nigh, and like Jonah I will pray: From corruption raise me up, O God." -Ode VI, Irmos of the Supplicatory Canon to the Theotokos
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« Reply #29 on: March 16, 2013, 02:34:45 PM »


Sorry  Cry

I've come to terms with it over the years, I think. But you shouldn't lose hope angel

Over the years?? According to your profile you're only 18!   Huh
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Anastasia1
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« Reply #30 on: March 16, 2013, 02:39:38 PM »

I am very proud of my faith and consider myself devout. I've always said I'd marry an (Greek) Orthodox Christian, only because it would mean a great deal to me to raise my family according to how I believe. However, living in a multicultural city, finding such a person has become virtually impossible for me (let alone finding a nice person.) I can't see myself lowering my standards just to 'settle,' and get married, however, if I don't then do I risk being alone for the rest of my life? I don't think God wants me to be lonely and alone. But why hasn't it happened for me yet?

Do I give in and just date 'anyone?" Personally, I would only consider Catholics. But I still don't want to do that. What are your opinions regarding marrying outside our faith?
I have only ever dated Catholic and Protestant. I would like to date an Orthodox, but I suppose Catholic isn't too bad, as long as he understands then that my kids are being chrismated in the OO Church, and preferably Armenian, and not in the Catholic Church.  I don't have many single guy friends around my age who go to an Oriental Orthodox church, and for the longest time prior to converting, I always figured I would end up with a Catholic since we had similar values and world views.
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« Reply #31 on: March 16, 2013, 02:40:33 PM »

I find this to be a depressing subject to think about. As a single guy in his mid 20s who's considering possible conversion to Orthodoxy, it seems that the chances of finding a like minded girl my age is pretty low. I live in the south, where Orthodoxy is pretty rare.

Chances vary depending on what you mean by like-minded.
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« Reply #32 on: March 16, 2013, 02:42:22 PM »


Sorry  Cry

I've come to terms with it over the years, I think. But you shouldn't lose hope angel

Over the years?? According to your profile you're only 18!   Huh

I've held this sentiment since I was 12 or so and probably even earlier Smiley
« Last Edit: March 16, 2013, 02:44:18 PM by Cyrillic » Logged

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« Reply #33 on: March 16, 2013, 02:46:51 PM »


Sorry  Cry

I've come to terms with it over the years, I think. But you shouldn't lose hope angel

Over the years?? According to your profile you're only 18!   Huh

I've held this sentiment since I was 12 or so and probably even earlier:)

I'm 20 and haven't had a girlfriend, most of my friends aren't in relationships. You're throwing in the towel wayyy too soon.
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« Reply #34 on: March 16, 2013, 02:50:24 PM »


Sorry  Cry

I've come to terms with it over the years, I think. But you shouldn't lose hope angel

Over the years?? According to your profile you're only 18!   Huh
Ahh, children...
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« Reply #35 on: March 16, 2013, 02:56:57 PM »


Sorry  Cry

I've come to terms with it over the years, I think. But you shouldn't lose hope angel

Over the years?? According to your profile you're only 18!   Huh
Ahh, children...

Mmmm, ah, I see. That's motivating, somehow, I think.

My parents and my friends have come to the same conclusion as me anyway.
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« Reply #36 on: March 16, 2013, 02:58:46 PM »

I'm not even going to get involved in this because I know it won't end well. If I even say anything about why we shouldn't marry outside Orthodoxy, all the ecumenists will have a cow and flame me for pages.
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« Reply #37 on: March 16, 2013, 02:59:00 PM »


Every Orthodox youth conference ever. The ratio of women to me is at least 4:1 in my experience.

In Christ,
Andrew
[/quote]

Yeah, but those are youth conferences. Meant for teenagers, right? Or are there people in their mid 20's too at these gatherings?
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« Reply #38 on: March 16, 2013, 02:59:57 PM »

I'm not even going to get involved in this because I know it won't end well. If I even say anything about why we shouldn't marry outside Orthodoxy, all the ecumenists will have a cow and flame me for pages.

Aww, usually you don't have much problems with posts that outrage basically anyone, what happened?  Cheesy
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« Reply #39 on: March 16, 2013, 03:03:16 PM »


Quote from: Shlomokh
Every Orthodox youth conference ever. The ratio of women to me is at least 4:1 in my experience.

In Christ,
Andrew

Yeah, but those are youth conferences. Meant for teenagers, right? Or are there people in their mid 20's too at these gatherings?

In the GOARCH, the age range for their young adult ministry is 18-35.  I don't know what ministries exist after 35?  I'm pushing 40 and I couldn't imagine going out with a woman of any faith 15 years younger or older than me.
« Last Edit: March 16, 2013, 03:08:21 PM by SolEX01 » Logged
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« Reply #40 on: March 16, 2013, 03:07:08 PM »

Okay, what the hell, I'll say it. The purpose of an Orthodox marriage is to--in a mystical way--live out the relationship that Christ has with His Church and to raise up children via the family, which is an Icon of Christ's love. If your spouse is non-Orthodox, with no knowledge of the Church, then how could she possibly perform her will as the Icon of the Church? Likewise, what are you going to do when your children are born and you begin to feud over religion? I've already had it hard enough with a non-Orthodox family, so there is no way I am going to make it hard for myself again when I get married by marrying some heretic/heathen and have to be alone in my faith again. Especially avoid those Evangelicals, because as long as they live, they will have a vendetta to try to convert you forever and they will believe that it's their Divine purpose to convert you.
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« Reply #41 on: March 16, 2013, 03:09:43 PM »

Okay, what the hell, I'll say it. The purpose of an Orthodox marriage is to--in a mystical way--live out the relationship that Christ has with His Church and to raise up children via the family, which is an Icon of Christ's love. If your spouse is non-Orthodox, with no knowledge of the Church, then how could she possibly perform her will as the Icon of the Church? Likewise, what are you going to do when your children are born and you begin to feud over religion? I've already had it hard enough with a non-Orthodox family, so there is no way I am going to make it hard for myself again when I get married by marrying some heretic/heathen and have to be alone in my faith again. Especially avoid those Evangelicals, because as long as they live, they will have a vendetta to try to convert you forever and they will believe that it's their Divine purpose to convert you.

Bravo.  Well said!   Smiley
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« Reply #42 on: March 16, 2013, 03:22:12 PM »

Okay, what the hell, I'll say it. The purpose of an Orthodox marriage is to--in a mystical way--live out the relationship that Christ has with His Church and to raise up children via the family, which is an Icon of Christ's love. If your spouse is non-Orthodox, with no knowledge of the Church, then how could she possibly perform her will as the Icon of the Church? Likewise, what are you going to do when your children are born and you begin to feud over religion? I've already had it hard enough with a non-Orthodox family, so there is no way I am going to make it hard for myself again when I get married by marrying some heretic/heathen and have to be alone in my faith again. Especially avoid those Evangelicals, because as long as they live, they will have a vendetta to try to convert you forever and they will believe that it's their Divine purpose to convert you.

I fully agree with this.  I'll say it again:  Marriage in modern society is hard enough without a division of the Spirit at home.
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« Reply #43 on: March 16, 2013, 03:32:09 PM »

What is it with chicks always wanting to experience a "family" and have children? This is one of my biggest problems when dating, I can NEVER find a woman who doesn't want kids. I don't want kids!! I don't have the patience to handle them. I've already been raising my younger siblings all these years and I don't want to have to end up raising more children again once I get married. Why is it so hard for women to understand that?
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« Reply #44 on: March 16, 2013, 03:38:52 PM »

What is it with chicks always wanting to experience a "family" and have children? This is one of my biggest problems when dating, I can NEVER find a woman who doesn't want kids. I don't want kids!! I don't have the patience to handle them. I've already been raising my younger siblings all these years and I don't want to have to end up raising more children again once I get married. Why is it so hard for women to understand that?

Well, for one, if she is devout Orthodox, she'll have a problem with contraception in particular and a rejection of the primary (or one of the primary) ends of marriage in general.


You'll find plenty of Protestants who don't ever want children, but (relatively) few Catholics and Orthodox based on my experience.


You are still young.  There is a large percentage of my friends from when I was 21 who said they did not ever, ever want kids who now either do or have them ("them" because they usually have more than 1!).  Probably half of them.  So you may change your mind as you get older and see children as a blessing and joy instead of just as a burden, although I empathize with the cross the Lord has given to you. 

One more thing:  If the girls/women you're dating are talking children and family, they see you as marriage material, so you can at least take that as an indirect compliment.  Smiley 
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