I believe many Americans fail to understand that despite influx of immigrants, globalization and secularization Byzantine rite or other Eastern rites are not as feasible option for many Western European people as Roman rite is. And this is true even without tinfoil theories about DNAs and essentialisms. It is really rather absurd to say anything contrary since Western and Central Europe has celebrated WR services for hundreds of years. It has probably never even occurred to most of the Western Europeans folks that Christianity isn't Western European religion. Cultures don't change overnight.
The hang-ups over this are really quite petty if one considers how Christianity- of any rite- has been introduced to cultures for which all forms of Christianity were equally alien. If someone is serious about the Gospel he will get over it. This agonizing over Western rite vs. Eastern rite is the height of self-absorption.
My current living situation is such that I have no access to a parish of my own tradition; luckily, there is a Coptic church close by, and an Armenian church not too much farther away, and so I attend both (mostly based at the former, though) in order to worship and for access to the sacraments. In addition, there are EO churches nearby which I attend when the mood strikes me. I'm familiar enough with Byzantine liturgy to feel comfortable. The language is an issue with the Armenian Church, but the liturgy itself is like the love child of Byzantium and Syrian Antioch, so I'm fairly comfortable there too, and I'm getting there with the Coptic liturgy.
In spite of my sinfulness, I like to think that I'm "serious about the Gospel", so I'm grateful to have such opportunities. But I don't believe my yearning for my own rite is "self-absorption". I live my rite: it's how I pray, how I feast and fast, how I understand truth. My rite is a type of incarnated Gospel for me. There's smells, sights, sounds, texts, music, art, food, customs, and all sorts of things, large and small, which speak to me about Jesus in a way that "works" for me. It's not so much self-absorption as it is a vehicle through which I'm working out my salvation with God.
In all essentials, the Coptic, Armenian, and even Byzantine rites would accomplish the same goal, my sinfulness notwithstanding. In fact, I depend on that for the duration of my "exile". But I'll be honest, as comfortable as I am in these rites, it's still not "home". I like the Coptic liturgy, and am beginning to pick up some of the singing, but I'm not terribly excited by the Agpeya. I like the Byzantine rite, but there's something about the liturgy itself that always felt disjointed to me, like it was a bunch of pieces thrown together, but not necessarily well integrated (I prefer the office to the liturgy). They're all Orthodox (to me as an OO anyway), definitely all Eastern, but I have a definite preference that goes beyond aesthetics. I fully admit that they'll "get the job done", but my rite resonates with me better, and I reject the notion that it's a merely personal, aesthetic hang-up--there has to be a reason that the one gospel was preached all over the world but lived out in very different ways.
Perhaps some will not understand that idea; maybe they are "cradles" for whom "it's all the same", or maybe they're "converts" whose background is less ritual and more denominational (e.g., there's no Southern Baptist Rite that I'm aware of). But it doesn't mean that the issue doesn't exist for people raised in a rite, whether from childhood or conversion. I can sympathise with Roman Catholics (and by extension Anglicans and others with "rites") who would want to hold onto the "Western" rite even while embracing the Orthodox faith. The way they lived out the gospel up to that point was through those rites, and those rites were once Orthodox. They're not bad, they are different. And for them, that way "works". Why should we complain? We should help!
And I hope those who believe that "Western rite vs Eastern rite" is just a petty gripe are consistent when it comes to things like the language of the services in any given parish. The exclusive use of Greek or Georgian in a parish here in the States will not prevent me from going to heaven, but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't find English more useful.
