No offense intended to you, but you almost seem to be talking in puzzles and expecting people to fish for clues. Perhaps you have other information about yourself in other threads that I haven't seen that would yield more information. This has been a very difficult thread to follow. I would suggest you talk in a little ore detail and maybe indicate what it is you really are seeking. Is it a closer walk with God? friendship? Be accepted in your church? I do know that as with most things in life if you want people to acknowledge you, you will also have to make an effort to be available, to extend a friendly gesture and so forth yourself. If you merely come to church, sit at the back and quickly sneak out, you are not providing opportunities for people to get to know you. If I saw this I would assume that is what you want, and would try to respect your desire for that kind of a life.