(not in any way meant for politics)
I'm in a bit of a problem, and need some direction. For Lent, I have been reading the daily readings on my app, and a couple of books recommended by my parish, and paying attention to everything said during the services. I love what I'm reading, but sometimes I just get exhausted at some of the themes. I know they are there for a purpose, and I don't think they shouldn't be there, but I just feel something is not right (with me)....can't put my finger on it exactly.
After thinking about it for a while, I think I just can't get over over how much sex is such a major theme of everything. It's starting to get exhausting. It seems I can't turn the page without "loose women" here and prostitutes there, and how chaste this person is etc, or even more exhausting is prayers to avoid temptations. I feel like I'm being tempted more by the constant references. Before even turning to Orthodoxy sexual themes on TV were exhausting, boring, and not something I sought to watch.
Today I was reading the how Seth came along in Genesis, and here is how my wrongful thoughts are popping into my head now:
I get bothered by how passages go out of there way to make sure we all know that Adam "knew" Eve before Seth came along. Yeah thanks. I "knew" my husband before my daughter came along too, but out of decency I don't care to remind people of how the birds and bees work. Oh gee look how many others "knew" and had kids, thanks. Oh look next bible reading talks about prostitutes.
I'm embarrassed now how such simple phrasing in the Holy Bible bothers me when it never has before.
My question is not why it's written that way, but how do you overcome thinking stuff like this? I know it's not a problem with marriage for me. My husband is the best person ever. I just feel like innocence is being taken away everytime I read. I don't want to get annoyed by sexual themes in the Bible, but I just am at the moment unfortunately. And I realize whatever is said in the bible helps others in their lives different from me.
The solution I've thought of is read less, but should I really be avoiding aspects of the faith just because it makes me uncomfortable? I would talk to my priest but a discussion of this nature would still be uncomfortable for me. I haven't had a real confession yet to feel comfortable with themes such as this.
Thanks for listening. I guess I'm just scared that I'm falling off the path again, and the last time I fell off was during this same Lenten time frame last year.