I'm blowing the whole thing up? Really, me, guy on the internet, am blowing the whole thing up? It's not like four Cardinals presented the pope with a number of doubts regarding the orthodoxy of AL, or various Catholic outlets, including EWTN, are talking about the real possibility of a schism as a result of AL. It's just me. OK. Well, good thing that I, at least, am calling attention to the matter, since it is, as you say, "a serious problem."
But if it is a serious problem, what is the solution? Just stay RC according to you - trad or mainstream. That, in itself, is kind of an interesting statement since there is such a big difference between the two. But anyway, what you are advocating, simply put, is denial. Just keep doing what you're doing. Nothing to see here. No! God gave you the gift of reason and you have an obligation to seek the truth.
AL has exposed clear contradictions in what Catholicism teaches that go to the very heart of what Catholicism says it is. Even if I'm not divorced and "remarried" those contradictions do effect me, if I am Catholic and they show Catholicism to be something other than what it says it is, i.e. the true church. You just are unwilling or unable to confront that reality.
You asked me if I was trying to convince myself. To be honest, I think you're the one trying to convince yourself. You say you have an Orthodox wife. I assume she takes her faith seriously otherwise she would probably just convert to Catholicism and go with you to church for the sake of harmony and convenience. But she isn't and maybe that's got you wondering. Maybe that, along with what's going on now, has caused you some doubts. I mean why come on an Orthodox site and dig in your heals to the degree you are doing? Toward the end of my journey to Orthodoxy I did something similar. I went on to Catholic sites, sometimes making the argument as a trad Catholic, sometimes as a defender of the pope - not to deceive mind you, but to put down my ideas, to see what others said, how they reacted, and then try to determine where the truth lied. I wonder if you aren't doing the same. Only you know that.
As far as being disobedient, I don't believe anyone has accused you of that. However, I do think you are in denial.