I really dont know how to start this, so ill just dig in.
At this time in my life I really do hate it, I am a 25yr old and living with my parents.
I have been with my girl friend who I love dearly for the last 8 years and I wish to marry her.
The issue is my parents and I have a loan on the house and I need to help them pay it off, my Dad is not working as he is sick, my Mum has been going in and out of doctors offices and specialists and not sure how long she has before she needs to quit her job, and I only make minimum wage.
The house we live in wont be big enough for myself, my future wife (hopefully) and my parents and future kids, so this lets me to believe there is no future with my girl friend or anyone in that matter.
I am from Syrian background, and have family living there at the moment who are going through some very tough times. I don't have close enough friends I can talk to about this, I feel very much isolated and abandoned, it feels like god has let me suffer it feels like he is punishing me, I try my best to be a better orthodox. I really don't know how much longer I can take it, I am starting to lose hope in my life, my work, and my beloved religion as well. I honestly feel like a failure, a failure in my parents, my girl friend and in my religion.
The only way I can get some sleep is by taking sleeping tablets, and at times I shamefully cry my self to sleep.
Can I ask for peoples prayers for me please? and help me get past this times.