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Author Topic: Farting  (Read 1673 times) Average Rating: 0
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Hinterlander
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« on: January 15, 2013, 09:54:32 PM »

Has anyone ever read or come across a mention of flatulence in the church fathers? Or any other orthodox writing?

I'm just imaging how excessive gas might be a carnal manifestation of a spiritual malady
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« Reply #1 on: January 15, 2013, 09:56:01 PM »

What have I just read?
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« Reply #2 on: January 15, 2013, 09:59:45 PM »

What have I just read?

It cannot be unread.

This is Hyperdox Herman worthy in some way  Grin
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« Reply #3 on: January 15, 2013, 10:01:17 PM »

Has anyone ever read or come across a mention of flatulence in the church fathers? Or any other orthodox writing?

I'm just imaging how excessive gas might be a carnal manifestation of a spiritual malady

As one who suffers from chronic hyper acidity, I will overrule whatever (if ever) the Fathers have to say about this.
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« Reply #4 on: January 15, 2013, 10:04:40 PM »

Wait.

Wut.
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« Reply #5 on: January 15, 2013, 10:07:18 PM »

This is Hyperdox Herman worthy in some way  Grin

The whole "what does the Church/Church fathers think of" thing is worthy.
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« Reply #6 on: January 15, 2013, 10:14:25 PM »

Thus says..... On the 5th Day of the 3rd month you shall expel all methane from the holey of holey's and you shall strike a match twice as to offer a hole burt offering.... A little to much maybe? Sorry Cool
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« Reply #7 on: January 15, 2013, 10:15:41 PM »

I vaguely remember St. Augustine alluding to such, in which context or which writing I don't recall.
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« Reply #8 on: January 15, 2013, 10:19:49 PM »

I could tell this thread would stink before I even came in!
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« Reply #9 on: January 15, 2013, 10:25:00 PM »

This is Hyperdox Herman worthy in some way  Grin

The whole "what does the Church/Church fathers think of" thing is worthy.
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« Reply #10 on: January 15, 2013, 10:28:33 PM »

Farting is a blameless passion.

But according to Menes the Trilobite, Exarch of Heliopolis in the 5th Century, unseemly gasses are a byproduct of the miasmatic humour, a result of the Fall. And modern science has shown that Methane (excretion of the miasmatic humor) is responsible for all diseases.

From this we can surmise that pre-fallen farts only occurred in regulated, predictable intervals, smelled either neutral or pleasant, and were immediately ignited by the swords of the cherubim, precluding the coalescence of a methane miasma.
« Last Edit: January 15, 2013, 10:31:43 PM by NicholasMyra » Logged

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« Reply #11 on: January 15, 2013, 10:28:48 PM »

Has anyone ever read or come across a mention of flatulence in the church fathers? Or any other orthodox writing?

I'm just imaging how excessive gas might be a carnal manifestation of a spiritual malady
Weird.

I had a similar wonder just yesterday.
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« Reply #12 on: January 15, 2013, 11:54:32 PM »

Oh..Farting

I thought this was a thread about Fasting

Where are my glasses? This just wont do.
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« Reply #13 on: January 16, 2013, 12:03:46 AM »

Oh..Farting

I thought this was a thread about Fasting

Where are my glasses? This just wont do.

One is the mad daughter of a holy mother.
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« Reply #14 on: January 16, 2013, 12:08:45 AM »

Best of Pastor Gas (farting preacher)
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« Reply #15 on: January 16, 2013, 12:32:36 AM »

Maybe there is a practical reason why the deacon censers the entire Church with fragrance several times during Liturgy  Grin

You know that gets nastier if you haven't eaten anything since the night before  Grin Grin Grin
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« Reply #16 on: January 16, 2013, 02:51:05 AM »

A funny story:
Way back when I was searching for ancient Christianity, I cam across a book written by a group claiming to be a remnant of the Essene Jewish sect which spoke of cleansing one's own (cough!) nether -regions with an elongated gourd full of water as to expel evil spirits which back themselves up within and cause "unspiritual fumes" to emanate forthwith. This was to be done at least weekly IIRC, while prayers of blessing and thanksgiving are recited with incense and the Angels of water and one's own guardian Angel are invoked.

I actually really liked that book as it was my first experience with written prayers recited at certain times of the day... And no, I did not have intimate relations with said gourd.

Wait... I can't believe I fell for this thread!  police
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« Reply #17 on: January 16, 2013, 03:06:20 AM »

A funny story:
Way back when I was searching for ancient Christianity, I cam across a book written by a group claiming to be a remnant of the Essene Jewish sect which spoke of cleansing one's own (cough!) nether -regions with an elongated gourd full of water as to expel evil spirits which back themselves up within and cause "unspiritual fumes" to emanate forthwith. This was to be done at least weekly IIRC, while prayers of blessing and thanksgiving are recited with incense and the Angels of water and one's own guardian Angel are invoked.

I actually really liked that book as it was my first experience with written prayers recited at certain times of the day... And no, I did not have intimate relations with said gourd.

Wait... I can't believe I fell for this thread!  police

Yup, leave it to us old farts to fall for this gag. Tongue
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« Reply #18 on: January 16, 2013, 06:03:29 AM »

Maybe there is a practical reason why the deacon censers the entire Church with fragrance several times during Liturgy  Grin

You know that gets nastier if you haven't eaten anything since the night before  Grin Grin Grin

Just wait 'till Great Lent. Beans, lentils, cabbage .... hoy!  Tongue laugh laugh
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« Reply #19 on: January 16, 2013, 10:42:21 AM »

I dont know of any Church Fathers who mentioned this, but Martin Luther said some pretty hilarious things about this topic.
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« Reply #20 on: January 16, 2013, 11:31:43 AM »

I think the Church Father Pythagoras covered this.
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« Reply #21 on: January 16, 2013, 11:42:28 AM »

I dont know of any Church Fathers who mentioned this, but Martin Luther said some pretty hilarious things about this topic.

Please share.  Luther has some great quotes.  If I didn't care anything for Tradition or the Saints then "even the devil genuflects" alone would make me consider switching allegiances to Berlin.
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« Reply #22 on: January 16, 2013, 11:49:23 AM »

I dont know of any Church Fathers who mentioned this, but Martin Luther said some pretty hilarious things about this topic.

Please share.  Luther has some great quotes.  If I didn't care anything for Tradition or the Saints then "even the devil genuflects" alone would make me consider switching allegiances to Berlin.

This text probably has all Luther said on farting within it:

The Wit of Martin Luther - Eric W. Gritsch

http://books.google.com/books?id=N-NhBJwuw3IC

It came up when I tried to find the infamous quote I only could paraphrase:

Quote
"But I resist the devil, and often it is with a fart that I chase him away". This is a quote from Martin Luther in the early 16th century.


The blog puts this into its larger context:

Quote
I am of a different mind ten times in the course of a day. But I resist the devil, and often it is with a fart that I chase him away. When he tempts me with silly sins I say, “Devil, yesterday I broke wind too. Have you written it down on your list?” …I remind myself of the forgiveness of sin and of Christ and I remind Satan of the abomination of the pope. This abomination is so great that I am of good cheer and rejoice, and I confess that the abomination of the papacy after the time of Christ is a great consolation in me.

http://www.conradaskland.com/blog/2007/04/martin-luther-on-farts/
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« Reply #23 on: January 16, 2013, 12:56:09 PM »

One nice thing about standing on the "bridge" of Eastern Catholicism is that all the various odors go right into the water and don't bother the people on either shore.

As long as they don't drink the water. Did I say too much?  Cool
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« Reply #24 on: January 16, 2013, 01:14:05 PM »

Google MArtin Luther insulter.

Its a site where you click a button and you get an insulting Luther quote.  Most have to do with farting.
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« Reply #25 on: January 16, 2013, 01:24:49 PM »

Google MArtin Luther insulter.

Its a site where you click a button and you get an insulting Luther quote.  Most have to do with farting.

Timon,

A couple of tips.

If you want to share a google search with someone, you can just post the URL you find in browser after you find your search results.

For example, I google:

Code:
martin luther insulter

A URL is generated for that search:

Code:
https://www.google.com/search?q=MArtin+Luther+insulter&oq=MArtin+Luther+insulter&aqs=chrome.0.57j62.479&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

You could just paste that here, but you can easily clean up that URL and it be just as effective.

All you need to share with other is from the https: to the first &. That is the URL for your query.

So editing the above, you get:

Code:
https://www.google.com/search?q=MArtin+Luther+insulter

https://www.google.com/search?q=MArtin+Luther+insulter

Another tip: not everyone's "google" is the same. This is for a lot reasons, most having to do with folks signed into google and google shaping results based on prior queries; however, there are other reasons why search results can vary from "person" to "person".

So if there is a specific site, you want to direct people to, just post that URL rather than giving directions from a google search.

In this case, it doesn't matter. Almost everyone is going to have the site you mentioned returned in their top three result, but in other cases, a site you might be wanting others to find could be buried four pages deep in their results.

FWIW.




« Last Edit: January 16, 2013, 01:25:13 PM by orthonorm » Logged

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« Reply #26 on: January 16, 2013, 01:36:26 PM »

If a Muslim farts during prayer he has to perform ablution and repeat the prayer.
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« Reply #27 on: January 16, 2013, 05:43:00 PM »

On a remotely related note, Daoist monks are discouraged from eating onions and anything else that might make them fart, as farting results in loss of qi.
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« Reply #28 on: January 16, 2013, 08:09:34 PM »

I vaguely remember St. Augustine alluding to such, in which context or which writing I don't recall.
City of God XIV 24. He speaks of "[men who] have such command of their bowels, that they can break wind continuously at will, so as to produce the effect of singing." He was discussing how pre-Fall, man would have had perfect control over his physical state. That also meant you could get a boner on command.
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« Reply #29 on: January 16, 2013, 08:14:37 PM »

I think a bigger problem is when you ate three corn dogs and a carnival funnel cake the night before and you have to use the bathroom like six times during Liturgy.
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« Reply #30 on: January 16, 2013, 08:19:24 PM »

On a remotely related note, Daoist monks are discouraged from eating onions and anything else that might make them fart, as farting results in loss of qi.
As does ejaculation and a myriad other things.

That stuff is hard to hold on to.
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« Reply #31 on: January 16, 2013, 08:45:16 PM »

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_6wjEnha9Uf4/TImxLYWqOFI/AAAAAAAABw0/YBNVlmUc1FI/s1600/bull.jpg
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« Reply #32 on: January 17, 2013, 09:49:51 AM »

I think a bigger problem is when you ate three corn dogs and a carnival funnel cake the night before and you have to use the bathroom like six times during Liturgy.

Probably why the Greeks have a 'no oil after Vespers' rule for those wanting to commune.
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