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Author Topic: Since becoming Orthodox, I've been solitary and isolated  (Read 2495 times) Average Rating: 0
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WPM
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« Reply #45 on: February 18, 2013, 10:29:51 PM »

Yeah, we used to drive about 50 minutes to an Orthodox Church. It was definitely a grind. But what are you gonna do?

Its going out of your way just to be Orthodox. Why do that if there's a church right around the corner.
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« Reply #46 on: February 18, 2013, 10:34:45 PM »

Yeah, we used to drive about 50 minutes to an Orthodox Church. It was definitely a grind. But what are you gonna do?

Its going out of your way to just to be Orthodox. There's a church right around the corner from where I live.

I'm sure many people through history have said that. Compared to travel methods/dangers in, say, the 2nd or 12th centuries, it is fairly easy for most of us today. I guess it all comes down to whether you think Orthodoxy is the Church Christ founded or not. If it's not then it doesn't really matter if you go to an Orthodox church, and you might just as easily forget about it and go somewhere around the corner. If Orthodoxy is what it claims to be, on the other hand...
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« Reply #47 on: February 18, 2013, 10:36:07 PM »

This kind of thing you just have to be persistent and keep trying.
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« Reply #48 on: February 18, 2013, 11:14:55 PM »

Quote
I'm sure many people through history have said that. Compared to travel methods/dangers in, say, the 2nd or 12th centuries, it is fairly easy for most of us today. I guess it all comes down to whether you think Orthodoxy is the Church Christ founded or not. If it's not then it doesn't really matter if you go to an Orthodox church, and you might just as easily forget about it and go somewhere around the corner. If Orthodoxy is what it claims to be, on the other hand...

I don't know how to time warp back to the 12th century. Is that a time warp?  Angry
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« Reply #49 on: February 19, 2013, 12:56:46 AM »

Quote
I'm sure many people through history have said that. Compared to travel methods/dangers in, say, the 2nd or 12th centuries, it is fairly easy for most of us today. I guess it all comes down to whether you think Orthodoxy is the Church Christ founded or not. If it's not then it doesn't really matter if you go to an Orthodox church, and you might just as easily forget about it and go somewhere around the corner. If Orthodoxy is what it claims to be, on the other hand...

I don't know how to time warp back to the 12th century. Is that a time warp?  Angry

Why not just accept the modern American roads and drive down to the closest parish? Smiley  Even if only once a month, it'd perhaps be a positive step?
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« Reply #50 on: February 20, 2013, 12:53:49 AM »

Quote
I'm sure many people through history have said that. Compared to travel methods/dangers in, say, the 2nd or 12th centuries, it is fairly easy for most of us today. I guess it all comes down to whether you think Orthodoxy is the Church Christ founded or not. If it's not then it doesn't really matter if you go to an Orthodox church, and you might just as easily forget about it and go somewhere around the corner. If Orthodoxy is what it claims to be, on the other hand...

I don't know how to time warp back to the 12th century. Is that a time warp?  Angry

Dear brother. If your method of communicating in person is similar to the one of this topic, then that would explain somewhat your current situation. May I ask, what is it that you wish to achieve? What type of isolation do you refer to?...as lack of Orthodox friends or friends in general...or perhaps people not understanding you...How different was your life prior to becoming Orthodox?

Cheers!
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« Reply #51 on: February 20, 2013, 01:37:45 AM »

I've spent the majority of my time going to places in effort to try and meet new people. The result of that was isolation.
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« Reply #52 on: February 20, 2013, 01:54:44 AM »

Quote
Dear brother. If your method of communicating in person is similar to the one of this topic, then that would explain somewhat your current situation. May I ask, what is it that you wish to achieve? What type of isolation do you refer to?...as lack of Orthodox friends or friends in general...or perhaps people not understanding you...


I guess I'm looking for action and new people to roll around with ... that doesn't happen anymore - so I have to adjust the new reality.
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« Reply #53 on: February 20, 2013, 02:00:44 AM »

I've spent the majority of my time going to places in effort to try and meet new people. The result of that was isolation.

I guess I'm looking for action and new people to roll around with ... that doesn't happen anymore - so I have to adjust the new reality.

What do you mean by "roll around" and what does that have to do with being Orthodox, solitary and isolated?
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« Reply #54 on: February 20, 2013, 12:44:38 PM »

Quote
Dear brother. If your method of communicating in person is similar to the one of this topic, then that would explain somewhat your current situation. May I ask, what is it that you wish to achieve? What type of isolation do you refer to?...as lack of Orthodox friends or friends in general...or perhaps people not understanding you...


I guess I'm looking for action and new people to roll around with ... that doesn't happen anymore - so I have to adjust the new reality.

Please be more specific regarding in what type of actions do you wish to engage? Depending of your age, perhaps one of the way of tacking the isolation would be "visiting" places where more Orthodox people are. If finances allow you, perhaps visit one of the monasteries nearby for a week or so, or go for a weekend to a parish during a big feast (Nativity, Easter, the patron saint of the church, etc) and you will meet plenty of new people.  Also, attending Sunday school classes for adults, lectures, movie nights or such in the parish would be a great thing.

ps. I am not sure whether you are not just pulling our leg here...just pray dear brother in any case.
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« Reply #55 on: February 21, 2013, 01:10:07 AM »

This sort of thing does not have a "stipulation" or "something behind the thing" ... That's pretty much what it is ....
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« Reply #56 on: February 21, 2013, 01:35:18 AM »

This sort of thing does not have a "stipulation" or "something behind the thing" ... That's pretty much what it is ....

I am trying very hard but am still having trouble understanding...Unless you know what you want, and clearly present it (at least to yourself) you shall never obtain it.  An ear can only hear what mouth has spoken, but not the ideas which were intended.
May God be with you. Reading between the lines is difficult if language is unknown.

 Cool
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« Reply #57 on: February 21, 2013, 02:20:46 AM »

This sort of thing does not have a "stipulation" or "something behind the thing" ... That's pretty much what it is ....

I've been to church 5 times in the last 5+ months after attending regularly since 2006 (and very irregularly from 2003 - 2005).  I hope to attend church on Sunday, the Publican and Pharisee and the beginning of the Triodion leading up to Lent.  If I can make it to church, I'll light a candle for you.   angel

I apologize if I have been terse.  You appear to have people who care about you on this forum.  You have positives to build on.   Smiley
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« Reply #58 on: February 22, 2013, 01:39:26 AM »

This sort of thing does not have a "stipulation" or "something behind the thing" ... That's pretty much what it is ....

Dear brother read this below... Wink


The Healing of the Paralytic and the Loneliness of Contemporary Man


By Fr. George Calciu

   What is more striking in today’s Gospel (John 5:1-15), is the loneliness of the sick man.  

  Have you heard? “Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is troubled, and while I am going another steps down before me.” (Jn. 5: 7).

  The most tragic state of man is loneliness, he’s total isolation. According to Saint Cyprian of Carthage: “Everyone falls alone, but we are been saved in the community”, in the community of the church. To be alone means to fall, to get lost. Being along implies thinking only of oneself, (or perhaps not even so) because you’re overwhelmed by the suffering in which you lie. You are overpowered by the futility of life. If your life is lonely and bereft of God, it becomes useless and lost -a life whose meaning has vanished from the moment you became isolated.  

Source: http://orthodoxword.wordpress.com/2010/04/24/the-healing-of-the-paralytic-and-the-loneliness-of-contemporary-man/


Too long quote editted - MK.
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« Reply #59 on: February 22, 2013, 04:49:44 AM »

ps. I am not sure whether you are not just pulling our leg here...just pray dear brother in any case.

He's not pulling our leg. He has a very different way of expressing himself than most other people, and he does the best he can with what he's got.
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« Reply #60 on: February 22, 2013, 05:03:05 AM »

You say you feel isolated and indicate you have tried to interact with people but failed.  What is it that happens during these encounters that they others do that stifles further conversation or interaction with you?
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« Reply #61 on: February 22, 2013, 03:27:05 PM »

 Huh
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« Reply #62 on: February 22, 2013, 03:43:12 PM »

Right now, going places and meeting people seems way overblown. (Not that awesome) ...
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« Reply #63 on: February 22, 2013, 05:06:29 PM »

Right now, going places and meeting people seems way overblown. (Not that awesome) ...

A couple of things:

1. Church is NOT where I go to meet people.  My best friends have, for the most part, NOT been members of any Church that I have ever attended.  Once, in 8th grade, my best friend went to the same Lutheran School as I did - but he was Greek Orthodox (and the only Orthodox person that I ever considered a friend).

2. You can worship God just fine on your own at home as long as you punctuate it with regular visits to a parish to receive the Sacraments.  I did it for close to 14 years, and in many ways I look back and find that I was a better Christian then.  I do not do well with groups of people, particularly not those that think they are religious.

3. If you are going to go to Church for social reasons rather than religious, find a parish of converts.  My wife is one of these that has to have social interaction, and she attends the local Antiochian parish.  They are for the most part a bunch of nice, friendly, somewhat ex-Protestants and she gets along there just fine.  The problem is often not the Church, but WHICH parish you attend.  I have yet to find two Orthodox parishes that are exactly alike, not that I have been to all that many.

4. Maybe Orthodoxy is just not for you.  No, I am not saying this to be mean.  Depending on what it is that you are after, perhaps you picked the wrong place to worship.  The Church (the true Church) is a hospital, not a social hall.  You are hopefully here to heal your soul and prepare for the next life.  In spite of what others may say about us "needing each other", that is pretty much bull.  I committed my sins on my own and I will pay for them on my own.  For the most part I have found other people just something to sin about more.  The exception to this is when I forget about myself and go out and help others.  Then I have found those people that I need, because in helping them I save myself.  Don't expect to find many opportunities for that in a parish that needs Bingo and bake sales to make the budget.  One thing that I have found to be true in my nearly 52 years in this terrestrial prison is that those groups of people who have made it their joy to find those less fortunate and lift them up are usually not the ones in need.  God takes care of those who try to keep His commandments and worry less about ritual and vain shows of piety.  And yes, some of them are even Orthodox.  I have never had much success in finding people that satisfy my wants and needs.  I have only found inner peace in loving and helping others. 
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« Reply #64 on: February 22, 2013, 06:13:24 PM »

Well, actually we do need each other. The social aspect of Church life is not peripheral; St Paul recognized this when he encouraged Church members to support each other. But if all you're saying is that it's not just about social interaction, then you'd be right.
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« Reply #65 on: February 23, 2013, 03:18:59 PM »

Well, actually we do need each other. The social aspect of Church life is not peripheral; St Paul recognized this when he encouraged Church members to support each other. But if all you're saying is that it's not just about social interaction, then you'd be right.

Quite correct. Some people are more social than others. Some folks are more solitary. One type is certainly not "more" Orthodox or more "highly" developed spirituality than the other.

Stereotyping a parish by terms like "ethnic" or "cradle" or "convert" is misleading and promotes division. Within any parish or any monastery for that matter there are gregarious people and loners. We each make our own path.
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« Reply #66 on: February 23, 2013, 09:41:04 PM »

I'm going to try to find somebody to speak with after church services tommorow.

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« Reply #67 on: February 23, 2013, 10:21:01 PM »

Good luck! Smiley
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« Reply #68 on: February 23, 2013, 10:52:40 PM »

Good luck! Smiley

and don't give up Wink

Seek and you shall find...
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« Reply #69 on: February 24, 2013, 03:02:52 AM »

And don’t be discouraged by people who claim to live a Christian life while doing the things of the world which are in contradiction to the Church.  They are everywhere, but you don’t have to let their actions infect you.  There are plenty of people who do not do this.  Find them and build strength, unity and encouragement from each other.
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« Reply #70 on: February 24, 2013, 05:26:35 AM »

I'm going to try to find somebody to speak with after church services tommorow.



I hope you have a nice time.  Smiley
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« Reply #71 on: February 25, 2013, 07:32:16 AM »

I'm going to try to find somebody to speak with after church services tommorow.



So how did that go?
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« Reply #72 on: February 25, 2013, 10:47:03 AM »

And don’t be discouraged by people who claim to live a Christian life while doing the things of the world which are in contradiction to the Church.  They are everywhere, but you don’t have to let their actions infect you. 

You could, for example, realize that you do the same, and forgive them.
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« Reply #73 on: February 26, 2013, 05:01:00 AM »

And don’t be discouraged by people who claim to live a Christian life while doing the things of the world which are in contradiction to the Church.  They are everywhere, but you don’t have to let their actions infect you. 

You could, for example, realize that you do the same, and forgive them.
What?
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« Reply #74 on: February 26, 2013, 10:51:41 AM »

And don’t be discouraged by people who claim to live a Christian life while doing the things of the world which are in contradiction to the Church.  They are everywhere, but you don’t have to let their actions infect you. 

You could, for example, realize that you do the same, and forgive them.
What?

Most of us claim to live a Christian life, and many of us strive to do so, and fail, to a greater or lesser degree. We all do things of the world that are in contradiction to the Church. Each of us has his or her own struggles and cross to bear.
So we're not that much different. Last Sunday's Gospel illustrates this nicely - the Publican and the Pharisee.
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« Reply #75 on: February 26, 2013, 06:27:02 PM »

I'm going to try to find somebody to speak with after church services tommorow.



So how did that go?

I wasn't able to attend church services that day.
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« Reply #76 on: February 26, 2013, 06:30:03 PM »

Why not just be Catholic? ...
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« Reply #77 on: February 26, 2013, 07:02:23 PM »

I'm going to try to find somebody to speak with after church services tommorow.



So how did that go?

I wasn't able to attend church services that day.

Why not?
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« Reply #78 on: February 26, 2013, 08:58:20 PM »

And don’t be discouraged by people who claim to live a Christian life while doing the things of the world which are in contradiction to the Church.  They are everywhere, but you don’t have to let their actions infect you. 

You could, for example, realize that you do the same, and forgive them.
What?

Most of us claim to live a Christian life, and many of us strive to do so, and fail, to a greater or lesser degree. We all do things of the world that are in contradiction to the Church. Each of us has his or her own struggles and cross to bear.
So we're not that much different. Last Sunday's Gospel illustrates this nicely - the Publican and the Pharisee.
But there is a difference between those who struggle against the world and those who embrace it while claiming to be Christian.  But your point is valid.  I just think we are looking at it from a different vantage point.
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« Reply #79 on: February 26, 2013, 09:07:21 PM »

Why not just be Catholic? ...

Are you asking why shouldn't you just go ahead and be Catholic as opposed to being Orthodox?  Why would that make a difference about feeling isolated?
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« Reply #80 on: February 26, 2013, 09:46:59 PM »

I'm going to try to find somebody to speak with after church services tommorow.



So how did that go?

I wasn't able to attend church services that day.

Why not?

I seem to be unable to attend the church services.
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« Reply #81 on: February 26, 2013, 10:07:01 PM »

Why not just be Catholic? ...

Are you asking why shouldn't you just go ahead and be Catholic as opposed to being Orthodox?  Why would that make a difference about feeling isolated?

I don't know
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« Reply #82 on: February 27, 2013, 06:38:24 AM »

One thing that I've noticed about you over the years, Wesley, is that even though you've gone down many different religious rabbit trails, you've always been drawn back to Orthodoxy. That says a lot to me. Orthodoxy is your home.
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« Reply #83 on: February 27, 2013, 06:21:09 PM »

Try meetup.com or Facebook and see if they have any Orthodox groups near you. See if someone is able to give you a ride.
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