On second thought, I might actually apostatize because I feel highly shattered and backstabbed after reading about the tollhouses.
Ah, James, James, James.
You need to have a phone visit with a good Palestinian priest. I know it put my mind at ease. All those armchair orthodox in the Fr. Seraphim Fan Club have truly made a cult out of the tollhouses.
Find me unanimous sources before 400AD, or even a mere seven fathers who support this theory and then worry. The scripture speaks of two judgements.... A personal one and the final one. Beyond that, everything is speculation and man's own supposed revelations. Many, I repeat, MANY orthodox, including those native to Syria, Palestine and Jerusalem hold no such dogma.
Rest in the knowledge of this. Don't be concerned with it. Keep your mind focused on Christ and on getting up every time you fall down. Learning how to take a spiritual punch in the mouth is your first step in the martyrdom that our Lord asks of us.
After a while you will see that it gets easier and your natural desire to love God by saying no to the flesh will overcome your base desires to say yes all the time.
I hope you have a good spiritual father. If not, get one QUICKLY!