Topic: do you spank your kids?

[tweety234]

Do you spank your kids, or are against?

Personally I am 100% against.

[Punch]

Yes I did, and all three turned out quite well.  Personally, I really don't care whether you are for or against the practice.  I just hope that I don't have to shoot one of your kids one day because you didn't do your job raising them.  How is that for an opinion.

[ialmisry]

Do you spank your kids, or are against?

Personally I am 100% against.

Personally, do you have kids?

[ialmisry]

Yes I did, and all three turned out quite well.  Personally, I really don't care whether you are for or against the practice.  I just hope that I don't have to shoot one of your kids one day because you didn't do your job raising them.  How is that for an opinion.

Never did, but wasn't against it.  The need just never presented itself.

[Asteriktos]

In principle I'm generally against it as I don't think it's a productive method of discipline. Or maybe I just have a bad association of it because an abusive step-father used it on me. Though when I went to elementary school the principle paddled me more than once, and I don't have an issue with that (though of course that wouldn't happen today because the parents would sue or something). I don't think badly of people who spank their kids, I just think there are usually better solutions. The fact that I had girls (and petite girls at that) made our decision not to spank easier. However, despite this decision not to spank, we did sometimes spank them for lack of a better solution in a particular moment.

[simplygermain]

Spank my girls rarely, as a last resort. More often it's when they hit each other, which has become infrequent. I think it works when they are young but about 6-7  there's rarely ever a need or use for it.. We have a baby boy now and I'm hoping that we've learned from our mistakes a bit with each kid... We are both more patient now.

Punch, I like your response. Namby pamby judgementalism doesn't fly. There is a use for spanking with patience and love. Time outs work to a point. Spanking works to a point. Love must be the driving force or nothing works. Anger should never take precedence. Prayer prevails.

[simplygermain]

Do you spank your kids, or are against?

Personally I am 100% against.

Personally, do you have kids?

This.

[Kerdy]

When they need it and wish more people would.  I believe our "kinder/gentler" approach does not benefit our children.

BTW - Asteriktos, I am digging your new avatar.  "FIRE IT IN!"

[Shiny]

Yes I did, and all three turned out quite well.  Personally, I really don't care whether you are for or against the practice.  I just hope that I don't have to shoot one of your kids one day because you didn't do your job raising them.  How is that for an opinion.

This owns.

And coming from a cape buffalo, even better.

[JamesRottnek]

When they need it and wish more people would.  I believe our "kinder/gentler" approach does not benefit our children.

BTW - Asteriktos, I am digging your new avatar.  "FIRE IT IN!"

Do you also promote physical attacks on adults who step out of line, or just people you know you can take?

[Kerdy]

When they need it and wish more people would.  I believe our "kinder/gentler" approach does not benefit our children.

BTW - Asteriktos, I am digging your new avatar.  "FIRE IT IN!"

Do you also promote physical attacks on adults who step out of line, or just people you know you can take?

Do you really expect a thoughtful response to this ingenuous post?

[JamesRottnek]

When they need it and wish more people would.  I believe our "kinder/gentler" approach does not benefit our children.

BTW - Asteriktos, I am digging your new avatar.  "FIRE IT IN!"

Do you also promote physical attacks on adults who step out of line, or just people you know you can take?

Do you really expect a thoughtful response to this ingenuous post?

I'm wondering if you actually know what 'ingenuous' means?  All ingenuous posts deserve a thoughtful, honest, response.

I really recommend you review the meaning of the word, there are many online sources by which to do this.  Merriam-Webster, for instance, has an online dictionary, and there is also dictionary.com

P.S., I find it hilarious that you would use a word that once meant, essentially, noble, to suggest that my post is unworthy of thoughtful response.

EDIT: And no, I do not expect a thoughtful response from you.

[Kerdy]

I'm wondering if you actually know what 'ingenuous' means?  All ingenuous posts deserve a thoughtful, honest, response.

-obsolete: Noble, Honorable
-showing childlike simplicity
-lacking craft or subtlety

I really recommend you review the meaning of the word, there are many online sources by which to do this.  Merriam-Webster, for instance, has an online dictionary, and there is also dictionary.com
 

See above

P.S., I find it hilarious that you would use a word that once meant, essentially, noble, to suggest that my post is unworthy of thoughtful response.
 

You may want to take your own advice and research the definition yourself, from the source you supplied.  

EDIT: And no, I do not expect a thoughtful response from you.

Good.  When I provide them, you usually revert to some sort of childish (thus the word I used previously) response from a narrow viewpoint fueled by ideology, it’s wasted.

[KBN1]

Whoa, the vibe in here is pretty snarky.  It is Sunday morning, let us love one another.

[rakovsky]

The Magazine Christianity Today has sometimes hosted Orthodox articles like "Q & A: Bishop Kallistos Ware on the Fullness and the Center". http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2011/july/fullnesscenter.html
The Magazine wrote an editorial on the subject, recommending avoiding hitting children:

Thou Shalt Not Abuse: Reconsidering Spanking

A Christianity Today editorial

On his blog, Webb notes that the [abusive] Pearls are surely more literal in applying [Old Testament] Scripture's parenting rules than [more "mainstream" advocates of hitting like] Dobson and others are. After all, the [OT] Bible does not put age limits on the rod, and seems to explicitly repudiate the repeated admonishment not to leave a bruise. "Blows and wounds scrub away evil," Proverbs 20:30 says, "and beatings purge the inmost being."

[Like Webb] We also believe it is more consistent with the full counsel of Scripture—in short, more biblical—to provide relief to people in pain than to actually "give strong drink to him who is perishing, and wine to him whose life is bitter" (Prov. 31:6, NASB). In the same way, it is more biblical to understand the praise of "the rod" as a reference to discipline than to limit its application to physical blows.

Mohler seems to miss the point that the consequences of human disobedience are legion, and that God's first and ultimate response to his children's rebellion is not to treat them violently. The Bible never forbids spanking. But Webb's case is convincing that the Bible does not require it. Given the risks involved—children's bodies are more fragile that an angry adult can fathom—we encourage parents to explore more creative and effective ways to train up our children in the way they should go.

http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2012/january/editorial-spanking-abuse.html?start=2

[pmpn8rGPT]

Yes I did, and all three turned out quite well.  Personally, I really don't care whether you are for or against the practice.  I just hope that I don't have to shoot one of your kids one day because you didn't do your job raising them.  How is that for an opinion.

This owns.

And coming from a cape buffalo, even better.

seconded

[JamesR]

When they need it and wish more people would.  I believe our "kinder/gentler" approach does not benefit our children.

BTW - Asteriktos, I am digging your new avatar.  "FIRE IT IN!"

Do you also promote physical attacks on adults who step out of line, or just people you know you can take?

Most children around the age of ten or below--arguably a little younger or older depending on the specific child--lack the cognitive functions to understand any reasoning or "compromise" that you might try to make with them, thus, explaining to them why something is dangerous or harmful may not be entirely effective in preventing them from doing it again--thus leading to the endangerment of their health. In which case, I think that a rear-whipping might work wonders, pain speaks louder, it's the universal language that everyone of all ages understands. If your child does not understand your reasoning, then you can still be sure in most cases that they won't do the same bad/dangerous action again if you spank them for it because they are afraid of getting spanked again. Sure, it's a very primitive ethical disposition, but natural for children their age and most people outgrow it. I think Kohlberg mentioned it or something. Anyway, I'd argue that spanking works for children up until their cognitive abilities develop enough where you can reason with them and explain why something is bad, at that point I would say spanking becomes impractical.

[Shanghaiski]

Whoa, the vibe in here is pretty snarky.  It is Sunday morning, let us love one another.

A kind word and a gun accomplishes more than a kind word alone.

[Shanghaiski]

If I've amounted to anything, it's probably been in spite of rather than because of physical discipline as a child. The holy fathers who speak of raising children, as opposed to those who misinterpret the Scriptures in order to justify themselves, emphasize the good example and prayers of parents as being more necessary and effective than lectures and physical discipline. Corrective words and actions also need to be separated from anger lest they produce worse results. In short, before a spanking, parents need first to employ other means. That said, physical discipline may still be necessary in some cases.

[biro]

Whoa, the vibe in here is pretty snarky.  It is Sunday morning, let us love one another.

A kind word and a gun accomplishes more than a kind word alone.

Yeah: more shootings.

[Shanghaiski]

Whoa, the vibe in here is pretty snarky.  It is Sunday morning, let us love one another.

A kind word and a gun accomplishes more than a kind word alone.

Yeah: more shootings.

Well, the gun doesn't have to be fired or even loaded.

[biro]

Whoa, the vibe in here is pretty snarky.  It is Sunday morning, let us love one another.

A kind word and a gun accomplishes more than a kind word alone.

Yeah: more shootings.

Well, the gun doesn't have to be fired or even loaded.

Just brandishing a gun, even an empty one, is usually enough to get you arrested. I've seen almost every episode of "Cops."

 

[Shanghaiski]

Whoa, the vibe in here is pretty snarky.  It is Sunday morning, let us love one another.

A kind word and a gun accomplishes more than a kind word alone.

Yeah: more shootings.

Well, the gun doesn't have to be fired or even loaded.

Just brandishing a gun, even an empty one, is usually enough to get you arrested. I've seen almost every episode of "Cops."

 

LOL. That's assuming one does it in public. That's just stupid. If one is going to brandish a gun for purposes of intimidation and/or extracting needed information or compliance, standard practice is to have the person whose help you require tied to a chair in one's basement. Sadly, ever since the government lightbulb ban, one isn't always able to have a good bright light to shine in the person's face.

[JamesRottnek]

I'm wondering if you actually know what 'ingenuous' means?  All ingenuous posts deserve a thoughtful, honest, response.

-obsolete: Noble, Honorable
-showing childlike simplicity
-lacking craft or subtlety

I really recommend you review the meaning of the word, there are many online sources by which to do this.  Merriam-Webster, for instance, has an online dictionary, and there is also dictionary.com
 

See above

P.S., I find it hilarious that you would use a word that once meant, essentially, noble, to suggest that my post is unworthy of thoughtful response.
 

You may want to take your own advice and research the definition yourself, from the source you supplied.  

EDIT: And no, I do not expect a thoughtful response from you.

Good.  When I provide them, you usually revert to some sort of childish (thus the word I used previously) response from a narrow viewpoint fueled by ideology, it’s wasted.

It is impossible for you to have seen a response of mine to a thoughtful response of yours, as I've never seen a thoughtful response from you.

Anyways, I'd really like to see the dictionary that defines 'ingenuous' as "showing childlike simplicity."  Merriam-Webster, for instance, tacks onto that phrase "and candidness."  Dictionary.com defines 'ingenuous' as "free from reserve, restraint, or dissimulation; candid; sincere."  Synonyms it lists are "frank, straightforward, open."  Merriam-Webster lists such synonyms as "genuine, honest, innocent, real, sincere, simple, unpretentious."  It lists such antonyms as "artificial, dishonest, insincere, guileful, dissimulating." 

So once more, I assert you do not know the definition of 'ingenuous.'

[tweety234]

Do you spank your kids, or are against?

Personally I am 100% against.

Personally, do you have kids?

No. But I have 2 nieces who I am with all the time. I plan on adopting one though. Because I love kids more than adults. I feel I can communicate with them a lot better than with adults.

[JamesR]

I'm just going to come flat out and ask it, is old-fashioned parenting--ie, "sparing the rod hur hurr" and "abstinence only education!" really as affective as some people try to make it out to be? It seems like children who came from a highly traditional, religious household--admittedly Protestant opposed to Orthodox--seem to actually develop the most problems during adolescence from what I have observed. It seems like they are always the ones who get duped into having sex because their parents never properly taught them what it was, or they go out purposely to be promiscuous because they want to rebel against their parents and the like. I likewise know a lot of adults who were raised in that type of household who still get counseling to this very day about it and have unresolved, unhealthy relationships with their parents. Don't get me wrong, I support a good whuppin' to the old rear-end every once in a while--it works wonders on my younger siblings--but I still don't know if I agree entirely with the old-fashioned Protestant stereotypical parenting.

[tweety234]

When they need it and wish more people would.  I believe our "kinder/gentler" approach does not benefit our children.

BTW - Asteriktos, I am digging your new avatar.  "FIRE IT IN!"

Do you also promote physical attacks on adults who step out of line, or just people you know you can take?

I am not sure I get what you mean. However, I am with Jesus 100% on this.

Treat others the way you wish to be treated. I admit I can't follow it all the time. I follow it most of the time though. Unless I am feeling threatened. However, it doesn't happen often thankfully.
Also I think people who promote physical attacks on children, are usually (not always) just 98% of the time. Are the same people that will sue you and put some sauce on it, to get you as deeper into jail as possible, if you make the mistake to give them as much as a light smack in the face, for throwing tantrums. Now I haven't personally done that to anyone. But It has been my observation.

[Asteriktos]

Also I think people who promote physical attacks on children, are usually (not always) just 98% of the time. Are the same people that will sue you and put some sauce on it, to get you as deeper into jail as possible, if you make the mistake to give them as much as a light smack in the face, for throwing tantrums. Now I haven't personally done that to anyone. But It has been my observation.

[tweety234]

The Magazine Christianity Today has sometimes hosted Orthodox articles like "Q & A: Bishop Kallistos Ware on the Fullness and the Center". http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2011/july/fullnesscenter.html
The Magazine wrote an editorial on the subject, recommending avoiding hitting children:

Thou Shalt Not Abuse: Reconsidering Spanking

A Christianity Today editorial

On his blog, Webb notes that the [abusive] Pearls are surely more literal in applying [Old Testament] Scripture's parenting rules than [more "mainstream" advocates of hitting like] Dobson and others are. After all, the [OT] Bible does not put age limits on the rod, and seems to explicitly repudiate the repeated admonishment not to leave a bruise. "Blows and wounds scrub away evil," Proverbs 20:30 says, "and beatings purge the inmost being."

[Like Webb] We also believe it is more consistent with the full counsel of Scripture—in short, more biblical—to provide relief to people in pain than to actually "give strong drink to him who is perishing, and wine to him whose life is bitter" (Prov. 31:6, NASB). In the same way, it is more biblical to understand the praise of "the rod" as a reference to discipline than to limit its application to physical blows.

Mohler seems to miss the point that the consequences of human disobedience are legion, and that God's first and ultimate response to his children's rebellion is not to treat them violently. The Bible never forbids spanking. But Webb's case is convincing that the Bible does not require it. Given the risks involved—children's bodies are more fragile that an angry adult can fathom—we encourage parents to explore more creative and effective ways to train up our children in the way they should go.

http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2012/january/editorial-spanking-abuse.html?start=2

There are 3 people that I hate with all that i am. The pearls and dobson. I am sure that now that you mentioned them, I will nightmares in my sleep. Because of these beasts. The people have no love whatsoever in their hearts.

[JamesR]

Protestants have this weird fetish or something for spanking children

[tweety234]

Whoa, the vibe in here is pretty snarky.  It is Sunday morning, let us love one another.

A kind word and a gun accomplishes more than a kind word alone.

I will agree only if this includes adults too. If it doesn't. I disagree 100%

[tweety234]

Whoa, the vibe in here is pretty snarky.  It is Sunday morning, let us love one another.

A kind word and a gun accomplishes more than a kind word alone.

Yeah: more shootings.

Well, the gun doesn't have to be fired or even loaded.

Just brandishing a gun, even an empty one, is usually enough to get you arrested. I've seen almost every episode of "Cops."

 

Also, remember thou shall not kill. Especially when you claim to be a member of the true church of Christ. Who died for our sake instead of killing us.

[tweety234]

Protestants have this weird fetish or something for spanking children

90% of parents do have that "fetish". are you sayng that 90% are protestants.

[Asteriktos]

Protestants have this weird fetish or something for spanking children

90% of parents do have that "fetish".

Most people would consider it a hard limit...

[Aindriú]

Protestants have this weird fetish or something for spanking children

90% of parents do have that "fetish".

Most people would consider it a hard limit...

Do you have a safety word? Ours is "No, Daddy! I'm sorry!!!"

[Asteriktos]

It is the philosophical position of many that in a TPE (total power exchange) there should be no safety word. The slave must trust the master to stop when appropriate. 

[tweety234]

Protestants have this weird fetish or something for spanking children

90% of parents do have that "fetish".

Most people would consider it a hard limit...

Do you have a safety word? Ours is "No, Daddy! I'm sorry!!!"

which is an answer to what? and by the way. I don't expect anything better from a cynical.

[tweety234]

It is the philosophical position of many that in a TPE (total power exchange) there should be no safety word. The slave must trust the master to stop when appropriate. 

We are not talking about slavery here. apparently this person is raising slaves though.

[Mokek Kwe]

I do not believe that spanking is Christlike or effective in our home. I have spanked my child a few times, but it absolutely does not allign with my parenting values. I have become more self-disciplined lately (thanks to God), and haven't spanked in a long time.  Instead, I try to set boundaries for my child and talk her through things. She's 3.5 now (and we are going through- so far- the most difficult developmental stage yet, ugh!) and very able to express her feelings. Overall, I feel our approach works- we strive to give her grace and understanding- structure and boundaries without being punitive or permissive.
As parents, we all have rough moments and we are all on a journey of self-discovery.  It's never too late to change the dynamic of your home.

[Asteriktos]

"Raising slaves". An interesting way to put it. Can a minor truly consent to slavery in such a context? But then this gets at the root of the problem--can anyone consent to such a relationship? Of course I am not speaking legally, as there is no question that it is not permitted. We are speaking of mere agreement between people here. Is it more untenable for a minor? I would argue yes, definitely. But then we are dealing with a subculture that has things like consensual-nonconsent, so it's a generally murky area to begin with.

[ialmisry]

Do you spank your kids, or are against?

Personally I am 100% against.

Personally, do you have kids?

No. But I have 2 nieces who I am with all the time. I plan on adopting one though. Because I love kids more than adults. I feel I can communicate with them a lot better than with adults.

my warning signals just went off.

[tweety234]

Protestants have this weird fetish or something for spanking children

90% of parents do have that "fetish".

Most people would consider it a hard limit...

what do you mean by hard limit?

[Asteriktos]

Protestants have this weird fetish or something for spanking children

90% of parents do have that "fetish".

Most people would consider it a hard limit...

what do you mean by hard limit?

Something that you are not willing or able to participate in. For example I have various hard limits related to acts that could cause long term or permanent physical markings or disfigurement (e.g., knife play, slave registry, etc.)

[JamesR]

I had to spank my little sister a few weeks ago for the very first time. It was horrible. I hated it and hope that I never have to do it again. I can definitely see why some parents wouldn't want to spank their children, but then again, sometimes it is all that works.

[Kerdy]

I'm wondering if you actually know what 'ingenuous' means?  All ingenuous posts deserve a thoughtful, honest, response.

-obsolete: Noble, Honorable
-showing childlike simplicity
-lacking craft or subtlety

I really recommend you review the meaning of the word, there are many online sources by which to do this.  Merriam-Webster, for instance, has an online dictionary, and there is also dictionary.com
 

See above

P.S., I find it hilarious that you would use a word that once meant, essentially, noble, to suggest that my post is unworthy of thoughtful response.
 

You may want to take your own advice and research the definition yourself, from the source you supplied.  

EDIT: And no, I do not expect a thoughtful response from you.

Good.  When I provide them, you usually revert to some sort of childish (thus the word I used previously) response from a narrow viewpoint fueled by ideology, it’s wasted.

It is impossible for you to have seen a response of mine to a thoughtful response of yours, as I've never seen a thoughtful response from you.

Anyways, I'd really like to see the dictionary that defines 'ingenuous' as "showing childlike simplicity."  Merriam-Webster, for instance, tacks onto that phrase "and candidness."  Dictionary.com defines 'ingenuous' as "free from reserve, restraint, or dissimulation; candid; sincere."  Synonyms it lists are "frank, straightforward, open."  Merriam-Webster lists such synonyms as "genuine, honest, innocent, real, sincere, simple, unpretentious."  It lists such antonyms as "artificial, dishonest, insincere, guileful, dissimulating." 

So once more, I assert you do not know the definition of 'ingenuous.'

Boring!  Moving on...