So why not have a judgmental therapist?

[Achronos]

I overheard this today at work about how a few people love their therapists because they are not judgemental.

But couldn't that be beneficial? I mean if I wasn't expecting any feedback I might as well just talk to the wall about my problems.

And no I don't have a therapist, but if I was to select one, I'd like someone to tell me how awful/great of a person I am and here's why.

No PC. No compromises. No BS, more importantly.

[genesisone]

I overheard this today at work about how a few people love their therapists because they are not judgemental.

But couldn't that be beneficial? I mean if I wasn't expecting any feedback I might as well just talk to the wall about my problems.

And no I don't have a therapist, but if I was to select one, I'd like someone to tell me how awful/great of a person I am and here's why.

No PC. No compromises. No BS, more importantly.

And as long as you are comfortable with your opinion, that's all that really matters.

 

[Achronos]

Well yeah that's exactly the problem. Folks will shop around for a therapist that matches their opinion just like they do for a church.

[laconicstudent]

I overheard this today at work about how a few people love their therapists because they are not judgemental.

But couldn't that be beneficial? I mean if I wasn't expecting any feedback I might as well just talk to the wall about my problems.

And no I don't have a therapist, but if I was to select one, I'd like someone to tell me how awful/great of a person I am and here's why.

No PC. No compromises. No BS, more importantly.

Because being judgmental prevents the therapist from developing a rapport with their client which is necessary to discuss often traumatic and sensitive events in the course of counseling. No offense, but I don't think you understand how counseling actually works. Just because a therapist isn't judgmental doesn't mean they are just going to give you warm fuzzies and compliments and affirm everything you believe and do. They simply aren't going to flat-out tell you that you're a horrible person and totally wrong and need to change right now because that is completely counterproductive.

[Asteriktos]

I would agree that being non-judgmental isn't the same as telling you everything you want to hear. The only therapist I've had who I actually felt some connection with gave all sorts of responses. She'd make fun of me playfully. She'd compliment me when appropriate, which is rare and I don't take compliments well. She'd push me to do things I wasn't comfortable with when necessary. She'd give me a break when I needed it and not push. Most of the time it was just like talking with an intelligent and insightful friend. Though one time, after being in the ER the night before, I told her about my suicide plans... and she laughed at me. And that was the perfect response, strange as it might sound. If she had been serious or overly concerned I would have clammed up; if she had been indifferent I would have taken offense. She did something that I'm sure they wouldn't teach in school, and which I'm sure most people would be horrified at, but which she knew was appropriate in my particular case. At their best, a therapist can read you like that (I've had one therapist like that out of a dozen in 16 years of therapy...)  

[tweety234]

I overheard this today at work about how a few people love their therapists because they are not judgemental.

But couldn't that be beneficial? I mean if I wasn't expecting any feedback I might as well just talk to the wall about my problems.

And no I don't have a therapist, but if I was to select one, I'd like someone to tell me how awful/great of a person I am and here's why.

No PC. No compromises. No BS, more importantly.

Trust me you don't want judgement. What you want is constructive criticism. There is a big difference. In the first case you get to know your problem, from a moral perspective only. In the second case. You get a person that is able to look beyond right and wrong, and actually give you advice on how to deal with your problem, without making yourself suffer because of your problem.

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