I have been trying to keep out of this since it's not really my cabbage patch (and, like Papist, I am looking in from the outside). Heorhji, you know that I am very glad to belong to a Church that blesses homosexual unions, so you will understand I'm not in disagreement with your intent. I do have a question about your argument, though.
Much of what you say seems to hinge on the argument that homosexuals cannot 'choose' their inclination. I'm sure this is true of many people (I know some people who would feel physically ill, even violated, at the idea of physical relations with the opposite sex). But it is not true of all people who are attracted to the same sex. What would your argument be for someone who was attracted to the same sex 90% of the time? Should they seek out the remaining 10% of the opposite sex and hope to find a partner there? What about someone who is 50/50?
I ask because I think the argument that there are people who have no choice is difficult to defend, and this is one of its weak points.
Thanks for asking, Liz.
I will just tell you what I heard from one of my online friends, Andrei K. from the Ukrainian forum, "Maidan." He identifies himself as 100% gay, and he has many friends who are also 100% gay or lesbian. His partner is also 100% gay. Andrei does not believe in "true bisexuality," actually thinking that people who say that they can "swing both ways" either pretend to be straight, while being gay, or pretend to be gay, while being straight. He thinks that this is very wrong and that these people are simply undisciplined erotomaniacs who lack self-control.
Now, there certainly are people who experienced homosexual urges in their childhood and adolescence, but then evolved into heterosexuals, and people who experienced "straight" urges in their youth, but somehow became homosexuals. It's a complicated thing - it's all this mysterious, awesome human brain. But still, perhaps by the time when a young man or woman is in his or her early 20-s, everything is settled and cannot be changed: gays become gays and remain gays, straights become straights and remain straights.
Some gay men are capable of sexually "performing" with women (and even have families, children, like these two poor guys in the movie "Brockeback Mountain"), but that does not grow in them in a more multi-faceted, committed, truly loving relation with a woman. Also there are straight men who can perform anal sex with another male, just to satisfy their animal lust, like it happens in prisons. But that, again, has nothing to do with homosexuality or heterosexuality. Like Morgan Freeman's hero said in the film called "Shawshank Redemption," "to be a homosexual, you first have to be human, and these beasts aren't."
As for women, I personally know one woman who lives in Seattle and who "experimented" in her youth with female partners. But when she became older - in her late 20-s - she finally understood that all that was fake. She met a young man and they married, and, as far as I know, they are still together (about 11 years). On the other hand, there are many women who, like you say, cannot even think about being with a man without total disgust. "Intermediates" among women - again, I honestly do not know. I will ask Andrei, he is my reference in these issues.