Author Topic: Schlock Icons  (Read 492141 times)

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Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1665 on: June 07, 2014, 09:24:44 PM »
Words cannot fully describe my distaste for Lady Gaga.

You people!
I take it back. Words probably could describe it, but the words that could, would probably get me meatballed.  Also, grossly inappropriate a mere 12 hours before Divine Liturgy.  ;)
God bless!

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1666 on: June 07, 2014, 09:38:46 PM »
Words cannot fully describe my distaste for Lady Gaga.

You people!

Will you answer my questions?  They were asked with the desire to achieve the most possible agreement within what will most likely be a notable difference.   :angel:
Please don't project meta-debates onto me.

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The erection of one’s rod counts as a form of glory (Theophylaktos of Ohrid, A Defense of Eunuchs, p. 329).

Offline Theophania

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1667 on: June 07, 2014, 09:41:52 PM »
Words cannot fully describe my distaste for Lady Gaga.

You people!

Will you answer my questions?  They were asked with the desire to achieve the most possible agreement within what will most likely be a notable difference.   :angel:

I will no longer be responding to your posts.
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Offline Tallitot

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1668 on: June 07, 2014, 10:22:29 PM »
This color scheme is a bit weird.


Might look cool under a black light.
Proverbs 22:7

Offline Opus118

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1669 on: June 07, 2014, 11:08:03 PM »
IIRC this image was discussed earlier in this thread.

Even if the image is new, it has still been discussed in this thread.

For entertainment purposes, I edited one of your posts on page one. Boredom, so no need to reply.

"An iconographer is a slave to artistic fashions which change constantly, he/she works in service, and under the direction of a benefactor to an Orthodox Church. In recent years aspects of Church life and practice must become more relevant to our modern society. This doesn't mean it's time that we have rap music liturgies to encourage young people to turn up to church, but if it lies within the teachings and the Holy Tradition of the Church, and develops organically, not on an individual's whim or fancy, it is ok by me even if I hate it.

Man cannot benefit from an ancient message if he cannot comprehend a modern  one."
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Offline hecma925

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1670 on: June 08, 2014, 03:03:25 AM »
Lady Gaga.

Yuck.
Hey, she's a nice Italian girl under all that makeup.  And she wears feasting clothes made out of steak; what's not to love?
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

Once Christ has filled the Cross, it can never be empty again.

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Offline LBK

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1671 on: June 08, 2014, 09:26:25 PM »

Christ, apparently.


Am I the only one who thinks he looks like Pete Townshend from The Who?  :o :P
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Offline LBK

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1672 on: June 08, 2014, 09:28:26 PM »
LBK will love this.

The Holy Trinity Three Companions: Ignatius of Loyola, Francis Xavier, and Peter Faber.



Oh, LBK loves it, all right.  ;)

It's a superb example of schlock, rooted in abysmal ignorance, or complete arrogance. If I put my mind to it, I could come up with quite a lengthy critique of it and its blasphemy.
« Last Edit: June 08, 2014, 09:29:43 PM by LBK »
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Offline DeniseDenise

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1673 on: June 08, 2014, 09:45:40 PM »
Ugg

Looks like he is dipping his hand into a brain.

All opinions expressed by myself are quite tragically my own, and not those of any other poster or wall hangings.

Offline LBK

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1674 on: June 08, 2014, 10:07:58 PM »
Ugg

Looks like he is dipping his hand into a brain.



Not only does that motif look ridiculous, but it's a double blasphemy: the globe replacing the bowl which represents the Eucharistic sacrifice, and the blessing of worldly knowledge in its place.
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Offline Agabus

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1675 on: June 21, 2014, 12:32:14 PM »
St. Michael with Steve Bescemi as a model.



Blessed Nazarius practiced the ascetic life. His clothes were tattered. He wore his shoes without removing them for six years.

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Offline Theophania

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1676 on: June 21, 2014, 12:33:14 PM »
St. Michael with Steve Bescemi as a model.





Donny, you're out of your element!
« Last Edit: June 21, 2014, 12:33:56 PM by kelly »
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Offline Nephi

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1677 on: June 21, 2014, 03:25:56 PM »
Looks nice, and obviously Catholic, but the mandorla is strange. Not entirely sure if it fits this thread, but thought I'd post it anyway.


Offline Antonis

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1678 on: June 21, 2014, 04:26:48 PM »
Our Lady of Mt Carmel? The saints around her look like Carmelites.
You sound like a professional who knows what he's talking about.  That's because you are.

"This is the one from the beginning, who seemed to be new, yet was found to be ancient and always young, being born in the hearts of the saints."
Letter to Diognetus 11.4

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Offline Theophania

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1679 on: June 21, 2014, 04:27:41 PM »
Our Lady of Mt Carmel? The saints around her look like Carmelites.

She's usually portrayed with the brown scapular though.
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Offline Antonis

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1680 on: June 21, 2014, 04:36:12 PM »
« Last Edit: June 21, 2014, 04:37:27 PM by Antonis »
You sound like a professional who knows what he's talking about.  That's because you are.

"This is the one from the beginning, who seemed to be new, yet was found to be ancient and always young, being born in the hearts of the saints."
Letter to Diognetus 11.4

"The human being is earth that suffers."
Letter of Barnabas 6.9

Offline Theophania

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1681 on: June 21, 2014, 04:38:48 PM »
Maybe they left out the scapular because it's a Catholic devotion and they're trying to pass the 'icon' off as Orthodox? I don't know.
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Offline Nephi

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1682 on: June 21, 2014, 04:40:33 PM »
Our Lady of Mt Carmel? The saints around her look like Carmelites.

Yeah, here's the page it's from with info about the iconographer.

Quote
This icon is a modem composition, written especially for the Jubilee of the Incarnation and the beginning of the third Christian millennium, but its theme is timeless. It looks back and gives thanks for the surpassing gift of God taking flesh in our midst and looks forward to His coming in glory. The composition incorporates themes from traditional iconography such as Christ Emmanuel, the Virgin of the Sign, and a pair of mandorlas. The surrounding saints are in prayerful poses as might be seen in a traditional Orthodox Iconostasis, heads inclined toward Jesus.

Offline Nephi

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1683 on: June 21, 2014, 04:43:27 PM »

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1684 on: June 21, 2014, 04:46:37 PM »
Is that a fish with a shekel in its mouth in the lap of eight pound six ounce newborn baby Jesus in the icon of "Madonna of Financial Help"? 
Please don't project meta-debates onto me.

Quote
The erection of one’s rod counts as a form of glory (Theophylaktos of Ohrid, A Defense of Eunuchs, p. 329).

Offline DeniseDenise

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1685 on: June 21, 2014, 04:48:51 PM »
Is that a fish with a shekel in its mouth in the lap of eight pound six ounce newborn baby Jesus in the icon of "Madonna of Financial Help"? 


and are those loaves or potatoes?
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Offline Nephi

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1686 on: June 21, 2014, 04:52:13 PM »

Offline biro

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1687 on: June 21, 2014, 04:54:16 PM »
The Christ Child seated on a pile of books? Why?!
My only weakness is, well, never mind

Offline Theophania

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1688 on: June 21, 2014, 04:54:27 PM »
Aww, I like Eskimo Jesus. He looks all warm and snuggly. A random polar bear in the background would've been a nice touch.
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Offline Theophania

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1689 on: June 21, 2014, 04:55:00 PM »
The Christ Child seated on a pile of books? Why?!


You never did that as a kid? Sometimes a high chair just isn't available.
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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1690 on: June 21, 2014, 04:55:59 PM »
Aww, I like Eskimo Jesus. He looks all warm and snuggly. A random polar bear in the background would've been a nice touch.

I think his left boot should've been dangling off his foot.  Otherwise, I agree.
Please don't project meta-debates onto me.

Quote
The erection of one’s rod counts as a form of glory (Theophylaktos of Ohrid, A Defense of Eunuchs, p. 329).

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1691 on: June 21, 2014, 04:56:42 PM »
Is that a fish with a shekel in its mouth in the lap of eight pound six ounce newborn baby Jesus in the icon of "Madonna of Financial Help"? 


and are those loaves or potatoes?

I see neither.  I only see the tail of the fish. 
Please don't project meta-debates onto me.

Quote
The erection of one’s rod counts as a form of glory (Theophylaktos of Ohrid, A Defense of Eunuchs, p. 329).

Offline Theophania

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1692 on: June 21, 2014, 04:58:26 PM »
Is that a fish with a shekel in its mouth in the lap of eight pound six ounce newborn baby Jesus in the icon of "Madonna of Financial Help"?  


and are those loaves or potatoes?

I see neither.  I only see the tail of the fish.  

nevermind, I can't read
« Last Edit: June 21, 2014, 04:59:28 PM by kelly »
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Offline Agabus

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1693 on: June 21, 2014, 05:47:48 PM »
Mixed-media Sinai Pantocrater?

Blessed Nazarius practiced the ascetic life. His clothes were tattered. He wore his shoes without removing them for six years.

THE OPINIONS HERE MAY NOT REFLECT THE ACTUAL OR PERCEIVED ORTHODOX CHURCH

Offline LBK

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1694 on: June 21, 2014, 08:26:51 PM »



The spiel that accompanies this schlock:

The Madonna of the Internet speaks of the Church in the Modern world. Here Mary is a sign of the Church who is struggling with the difficulties that accompany our contemporary life. The signs of Modern life, the parts of a computer and software, are contrasted with the sign of simplicity, the Christ Child. The Simplicity of the child embraces the complexity of the Mother. The computer mouse that Mary holds indicates the strength and power that the Church maintains even amid the tribulations of our time.


Rarely have I come across such unmitigated sacrilegious and blasphemous bunk.  >:( >:( >:( >:(
« Last Edit: June 21, 2014, 08:42:20 PM by LBK »
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Offline LBK

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1695 on: June 21, 2014, 08:44:04 PM »
Mixed-media Sinai Pantocrater?



At first glance, I thought the white vessel was a coffee cup. The look on "Christ's" face says he really, really needs some.  :P ::)
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Offline hecma925

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1696 on: June 21, 2014, 11:55:56 PM »
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

Once Christ has filled the Cross, it can never be empty again.

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Offline therovingmethodist

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1697 on: June 23, 2014, 07:50:43 PM »
^Easy to see why THIS was not published.
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Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1698 on: June 23, 2014, 08:02:07 PM »
^Easy to see why THIS was not published.
Hey now, we have that one on our iconostasis.
God bless!

Offline hecma925

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1699 on: June 25, 2014, 12:23:24 AM »
^Easy to see why THIS was not published.

It's in a published collection, so it did get published, just not in newspapers.
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

Once Christ has filled the Cross, it can never be empty again.

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Offline LBK

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1700 on: June 26, 2014, 08:15:27 AM »
The Vladimir Mother of God icon is so sublime, that only the finest iconographers should contemplate reproducing it. Many of them respect it too much to even try. Here's a version of it commissioned by the Taize religious community:



Rarely have I seen a more grotesque rendition of the face of the Christ-child. The Mother of God's countenance is indescribably badly painted.

There oughta be a law.  >:( >:( >:(


« Last Edit: June 26, 2014, 08:23:12 AM by LBK »
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Offline Nephi

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1701 on: June 26, 2014, 09:28:39 AM »
Taize, no surprise there.

Offline Nephi

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1702 on: July 05, 2014, 01:58:19 AM »
What is going on here?



This also seems like a strange variant:


Offline hecma925

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1703 on: July 05, 2014, 02:03:54 AM »
Both are weird.
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1704 on: July 05, 2014, 06:15:23 AM »
Both are weird, all right. Neither are from Orthodox tradition, nor do they express Orthodox teachings.



This image might be attempting to express the assumption to heaven of the Virgin. Unfortunately, it comes across as something which expresses her as co-redemptrix, seated equally with Christ. Definitely unsuitable for Orthodox veneration.

Orthodox icons of the Dormition show Christ bearing the soul of His Mother in the form of a babe in swaddling clothes, in His hands. This particularly beautiful motif shows Him to be the custodian of His mother's soul, taking it Himself back to heaven, not even entrusting it to the angels. This is, of course, completely consistent with the supreme regard given to the Mother of God, who is, after all, "more honourable than the cherubim and incomparably more glorious than the seraphim". It also represents another "closing of a circle" of salvation history: Once, the Mother brought the divine Child into the world, and nurtured Him in her arms. Now, in death, her soul is in the arms of her Son, and is brought to heaven by Him.

Quote
This also seems like a strange variant:



Strange indeed. A conflation of the Of the Sign , Not-Made-By-Hands, and Inexhaustible Cup icons. The white circle surrounding the face of Christ is supposed to represent a Roman Catholic communion wafer. It's all over the place.

Here is the spiel which attempts to explain this image, described as "an icon Inspired by Pope John Paul II: The Virgin Mother, Adorer of the Eucharistic Face of Christ" :

http://vultus.stblogs.org/index.php/2007/01/an-icon-inspired-by-pope-john-paul-ii/
« Last Edit: July 05, 2014, 06:17:18 AM by LBK »
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Offline The Fool

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1705 on: July 05, 2014, 06:37:08 AM »
Why do these people do this? If they want to have icons, why don't they do them right? Do they think they're improving on the traditional style? Can they not tell the difference?
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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1706 on: July 05, 2014, 06:39:05 AM »
Why do these people do this? If they want to have icons, why don't they do them right? Do they think they're improving on the traditional style? Can they not tell the difference?

Pride/ignorance.  They don't want to really bother with the whole learning thing.  Either that or they feel inspired that they are doing something brand new within the tradition.  They're blind, so no.
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

Once Christ has filled the Cross, it can never be empty again.

"But God doesn't need your cookies!  Arrive on time!"

Offline hecma925

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1707 on: July 05, 2014, 06:42:47 AM »
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

Once Christ has filled the Cross, it can never be empty again.

"But God doesn't need your cookies!  Arrive on time!"

Offline DeniseDenise

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1708 on: July 05, 2014, 06:44:38 AM »
Why do these people do this? If they want to have icons, why don't they do them right? Do they think they're improving on the traditional style? Can they not tell the difference?


Good job. LBK will approve of you
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Offline The Fool

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Re: Schlock Icons
« Reply #1709 on: July 05, 2014, 06:47:08 AM »
Why do these people do this? If they want to have icons, why don't they do them right? Do they think they're improving on the traditional style? Can they not tell the difference?


Good job. LBK will approve of you

Oh good, I wouldn't want to incur her wrath.  ;D
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