Author Topic: For Those Familiar With...  (Read 234 times)

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Offline Justin Kissel

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For Those Familiar With...
« on: March 03, 2015, 05:57:06 PM »
...cultures that practice arranged marriages, I'm curious what the parental/church/etc. authorities (especially Christians) do if one or both of the people in the planned marriage are completely against it?
We all have an El Guapo to face. Be brave, and fight like lions!

Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: For Those Familiar With...
« Reply #1 on: March 03, 2015, 06:03:10 PM »
...cultures that practice arranged marriages, I'm curious what the parental/church/etc. authorities (especially Christians) do if one or both of the people in the planned marriage are completely against it?

It stops being planned.
"Do not tempt the Mor thy Mod."

Mor no longer posts on OCNet.  He follows threads, posts his responses daily, occasionally starts threads, and responds to private messages when and as he wants.  But he really isn't around anymore.


Online TheTrisagion

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Re: For Those Familiar With...
« Reply #2 on: March 03, 2015, 08:25:48 PM »
I'm sure our Malankaran friends here will know far more about it than I, but a friend I had who was from India described it more as the parents of both people would "strongly encourage" them into a relationship. If one or both of them didn't think it was a good fit, the parents would keep looking for other options. I suppose it's really just old school Match.com.  :P
« Last Edit: March 03, 2015, 08:26:20 PM by TheTrisagion »
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Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: For Those Familiar With...
« Reply #3 on: March 03, 2015, 08:34:34 PM »
I'm sure our Malankaran friends here will know far more about it than I, but a friend I had who was from India described it more as the parents of both people would "strongly encourage" them into a relationship. If one or both of them didn't think it was a good fit, the parents would keep looking for other options. I suppose it's really just old school Match.com.  :P

Pretty much.  I mean, it's funny that some cultures have "matchmakers" (e.g., Jews) and no one gives it a second thought, but when it's further east, people assume it's some barbaric, monstrous practice that turns marriage into a business transaction involving livestock and having sex with your human property. 
"Do not tempt the Mor thy Mod."

Mor no longer posts on OCNet.  He follows threads, posts his responses daily, occasionally starts threads, and responds to private messages when and as he wants.  But he really isn't around anymore.


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Re: For Those Familiar With...
« Reply #4 on: March 03, 2015, 08:35:50 PM »
I'm sure our Malankaran friends here will know far more about it than I, but a friend I had who was from India described it more as the parents of both people would "strongly encourage" them into a relationship. If one or both of them didn't think it was a good fit, the parents would keep looking for other options. I suppose it's really just old school Match.com.  :P

Pretty much.  I mean, it's funny that some cultures have "matchmakers" (e.g., Jews) and no one gives it a second thought, but when it's further east, people assume it's some barbaric, monstrous practice that turns marriage into a business transaction involving livestock and having sex with your human property.
Praise be to the British for liberating you all from such degradations.  ;D
Quote from: Mor Ephrem
Why can't you just take your spiritual edification like a man? 

Offline kelly

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Re: For Those Familiar With...
« Reply #5 on: March 03, 2015, 08:36:18 PM »
I'm sure our Malankaran friends here will know far more about it than I, but a friend I had who was from India described it more as the parents of both people would "strongly encourage" them into a relationship. If one or both of them didn't think it was a good fit, the parents would keep looking for other options. I suppose it's really just old school Match.com.  :P

Pretty much.  I mean, it's funny that some cultures have "matchmakers" (e.g., Jews) and no one gives it a second thought, but when it's further east, people assume it's some barbaric, monstrous practice that turns marriage into a business transaction involving livestock and having sex with your human property.

Thanks for the quote.
"But we must live in the world, having peace in our soul. We must live amidst strangers; we must suffer, struggle, and firmly believe. We must seek our consolation in prayer and not doubt the love and compassion of God. He is above everyone and everything."

Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: For Those Familiar With...
« Reply #6 on: March 03, 2015, 08:50:14 PM »
I'm sure our Malankaran friends here will know far more about it than I, but a friend I had who was from India described it more as the parents of both people would "strongly encourage" them into a relationship. If one or both of them didn't think it was a good fit, the parents would keep looking for other options. I suppose it's really just old school Match.com.  :P

Pretty much.  I mean, it's funny that some cultures have "matchmakers" (e.g., Jews) and no one gives it a second thought, but when it's further east, people assume it's some barbaric, monstrous practice that turns marriage into a business transaction involving livestock and having sex with your human property.

Thanks for the quote.

Good God, what are you going to do?
"Do not tempt the Mor thy Mod."

Mor no longer posts on OCNet.  He follows threads, posts his responses daily, occasionally starts threads, and responds to private messages when and as he wants.  But he really isn't around anymore.


Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: For Those Familiar With...
« Reply #7 on: March 03, 2015, 09:07:56 PM »
...cultures that practice arranged marriages, I'm curious what the parental/church/etc. authorities (especially Christians) do if one or both of the people in the planned marriage are completely against it?

It stops being planned.

How often does that happen? Or does it vary too wildly to even ballpark it?
We all have an El Guapo to face. Be brave, and fight like lions!

Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: For Those Familiar With...
« Reply #8 on: March 03, 2015, 09:15:19 PM »
...cultures that practice arranged marriages, I'm curious what the parental/church/etc. authorities (especially Christians) do if one or both of the people in the planned marriage are completely against it?

It stops being planned.

How often does that happen? Or does it vary too wildly to even ballpark it?

I've never done or seen a study on this, but it happens enough that no one thinks anything of it.  In my own family, I have at least two relatives of my generation who had arranged marriages and rejected the first handful of candidates before settling on someone.  I also know of cases where someone who was rejected was later deemed to be the best of the group and called back.  :P 
"Do not tempt the Mor thy Mod."

Mor no longer posts on OCNet.  He follows threads, posts his responses daily, occasionally starts threads, and responds to private messages when and as he wants.  But he really isn't around anymore.


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Re: For Those Familiar With...
« Reply #9 on: March 03, 2015, 09:17:14 PM »
HAHAHAHA!!! That had to be an awkward call.

Yeah, so I know I didn't like you the first time around, but I couldn't find anyone better, so I guess I'll take you.  :P
Quote from: Mor Ephrem
Why can't you just take your spiritual edification like a man? 

Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: For Those Familiar With...
« Reply #10 on: March 03, 2015, 09:20:25 PM »
HAHAHAHA!!! That had to be an awkward call.

Yeah, so I know I didn't like you the first time around, but I couldn't find anyone better, so I guess I'll take you.  :P

Luckily, those calls are not made by the parties themselves, but by family members.  At least it was so in all cases with which I'm familiar. 
"Do not tempt the Mor thy Mod."

Mor no longer posts on OCNet.  He follows threads, posts his responses daily, occasionally starts threads, and responds to private messages when and as he wants.  But he really isn't around anymore.


Offline Jonathan Gress

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Re: For Those Familiar With...
« Reply #11 on: March 03, 2015, 09:45:17 PM »
I think when most people imagine "arranged marriage" they imagine that the consequences of defying your elders' wishes include complete social ostracism, shunning by your family, maybe honor killing. If you have the option to reject candidates then I agree, it's not such a big difference from the Western system, and many might even prefer it.

Offline Porter ODoran

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Re: For Those Familiar With...
« Reply #12 on: March 04, 2015, 05:01:25 AM »
Know of someone from my old culture who was locked in a room for weeks or months to prevent a marriage, but never someone who was coerced to accept a marriage.
In love did God create the world; in love does he guide it ...; in love is he going wondrously to transform it. --Abba Isaac

Love ... is an abyss of illumination, a mountain of fire ... . It is the condition of angels, the progress of eternity. --Climacus

Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: For Those Familiar With...
« Reply #13 on: March 14, 2015, 09:48:23 AM »
Indian bride walks out of wedding when groom fails math test

An Indian bride walked out of her wedding ceremony after the groom failed to solve a simple math problem, police said Friday.

The bride tested the groom on his math skills and when he got the sum wrong, she walked out.

The question she asked: How much is 15 plus six?

His reply...
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Online TheTrisagion

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Re: For Those Familiar With...
« Reply #14 on: March 18, 2015, 11:12:47 PM »
I like this part even more:  :laugh:

Quote
Last month, another bride in Uttar Pradesh married a wedding guest after the original groom had a seizure and collapsed at the wedding venue.

The groom's family had not revealed that the groom was epileptic. While the groom was rushed to a hospital in Rampur town, the bride asked one of the wedding guests to step in and married him.

Most marriages in India are arranged by the families of the bride and groom. Except for brief meetings, the couple rarely gets to know each other before the nuptials.
Quote from: Mor Ephrem
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Offline hecma925

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Re: For Those Familiar With...
« Reply #15 on: March 19, 2015, 12:58:24 AM »
All's well, ends well I always say.
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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