Am I Depressed?

[JamesR]

I don't know why. I just don't feel 'like myself' lately, and I haven't for a few months to be honest. I never want to do anything with my friends anymore, I always feel like everyone and everything is bothering me even when it could be something as simple as a 'Hello!' or 'Will you make coffee?'. I don't like leaving my bedroom that often, even going to Church feels more difficult to me. Everything just seems dry and I never feel happy nor sad, I just 'am'. Nothing feels good or excites me anymore. All I ever want to do is just drink excessive amounts of coffee, read and/or browse the internet and hide out in my bedroom. My thoughts on the other hand are never positive. I'm always thinking about something negative, finding the wrong in something, wallowing about a problem in the world etc. My few happy thoughts consist in either nostalgia for happy things from the past or are fantasies of what I want to see in the future. I'm sort of an insomniac staying up until like 4:00AM at night just lying down in my bed contemplating or listening to music.

What does the good Dr. OC.net prescribe?

[NicholasMyra]

You might have seasonal affective disorder.

Check these out:

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Dhpc&field-keywords=seasonal+affective+disorder+lamp

[Kerdy]

I don’t believe most of us here would be qualified to give you a diagnosis, but it seems like a real concern for you, and I would agree.  I suggest you talk to a qualified individual about this.  Not trying to brush you off, I just know the internet isn’t the place to get this type of advice.

[Carl Kraeff (Second Chance)]

I second what Kerdy said. PLease see a behavioral health specialist as soon as possible; just nip this thing in the bud!

[LizaSymonenko]

I think it's great that you at least realize there's a problem and you are not happy with the way things are.

Good for you.

Now take another step...and figure out how to fix it.

If you are not able to "revive" your mood on your own, by "forcing" yourself out of the doldrums, than seek help from professionals.

[orthonorm]

Do you really have nostalgia?

I painfully long for the days when people used nostalgia properly.

[katherineofdixie]

When was the last time that you saw a doctor? There could be physical reasons for your problems as well.
FWIW, staying up until 4 a.m. probably isn't good for your health or state of mind. Get some rest, for heaven's sake!

[Jetavan]

I seem to recall some depressions possibly being caused by repressed anger.

[orthonorm]

I seem to recall some depressions possibly being caused by repressed anger.

Nonsense.

Anger is a great way of seeing that someone is getting better.

The turn from suicide to homicide is a welcome outcome.

[neon_knights]

See a therapist.

[Papist]

I don't know why. I just don't feel 'like myself' lately, and I haven't for a few months to be honest. I never want to do anything with my friends anymore, I always feel like everyone and everything is bothering me even when it could be something as simple as a 'Hello!' or 'Will you make coffee?'. I don't like leaving my bedroom that often, even going to Church feels more difficult to me. Everything just seems dry and I never feel happy nor sad, I just 'am'. Nothing feels good or excites me anymore. All I ever want to do is just drink excessive amounts of coffee, read and/or browse the internet and hide out in my bedroom. My thoughts on the other hand are never positive. I'm always thinking about something negative, finding the wrong in something, wallowing about a problem in the world etc. My few happy thoughts consist in either nostalgia for happy things from the past or are fantasies of what I want to see in the future. I'm sort of an insomniac staying up until like 4:00AM at night just lying down in my bed contemplating or listening to music.

What does the good Dr. OC.net prescribe?

There is no way anyone on this forum would know for sure if you are depressed. But I can say this, because you are teenager, such "funks" are not abnormal. I remember going through them myself at that time. However, you would need to speak to a counselor who could help you determine if you are genuinely depressed or if this is just one of those "funks".

[JamesRottnek]

I don't know why. I just don't feel 'like myself' lately, and I haven't for a few months to be honest. I never want to do anything with my friends anymore, I always feel like everyone and everything is bothering me even when it could be something as simple as a 'Hello!' or 'Will you make coffee?'. I don't like leaving my bedroom that often, even going to Church feels more difficult to me. Everything just seems dry and I never feel happy nor sad, I just 'am'. Nothing feels good or excites me anymore. All I ever want to do is just drink excessive amounts of coffee, read and/or browse the internet and hide out in my bedroom. My thoughts on the other hand are never positive. I'm always thinking about something negative, finding the wrong in something, wallowing about a problem in the world etc. My few happy thoughts consist in either nostalgia for happy things from the past or are fantasies of what I want to see in the future. I'm sort of an insomniac staying up until like 4:00AM at night just lying down in my bed contemplating or listening to music.

What does the good Dr. OC.net prescribe?

There is no way anyone on this forum would know for sure if you are depressed. But I can say this, because you are teenager, such "funks" are not abnormal. I remember going through them myself at that time. However, you would need to speak to a counselor who could help you determine if you are genuinely depressed or if this is just one of those "funks".

Depression in adolescents is also not "abnormal" depending upon how you define the word; about 20% of teenagers will experience major depression at one point or another, and about 8% meet the criteria on any given day.

[Seraphim98]

There is grace in this too. Our parched times show us ourselves in way's it is impossible to know otherwise. Therefore, though we suffer, we also have cause for thanksgiving. It is when we do what we ought…prayer, spiritual reading, almsgiving, etc. when it is hard for us that the benefit for our soul is greater, though we may not see it for some time.  Elder Sophrony gave a corollary to St. Siluon's instruction to keep your mind in hell but do not despair. The Elder said that when you've stared into hell as much as you can endure step back and have a cup of tea. St. Seraphim of Sarov said to find what draws grace down into your life and do that.  So it might help to find something simple that you know puts you in a better frame of mind…a walk in the woods, sitting by yourself in church praying the Jesus prayer, helping someone else with a task or problem…something else. These may offer some refreshment, even if they don't put an end to the dry season entirely. In any case, don't despair.

[JamesRottnek]

There is grace in this too. Our parched times show us ourselves in way's it is impossible to know otherwise. Therefore, though we suffer, we also have cause for thanksgiving. It is when we do what we ought…prayer, spiritual reading, almsgiving, etc. when it is hard for us that the benefit for our soul is greater, though we may not see it for some time.  Elder Sophrony gave a corollary to St. Siluon's instruction to keep your mind in hell but do not despair. The Elder said that when you've stared into hell as much as you can endure step back and have a cup of tea. St. Seraphim of Sarov said to find what draws grace down into your life and do that.  So it might help to find something simple that you know puts you in a better frame of mind…a walk in the woods, sitting by yourself in church praying the Jesus prayer, helping someone else with a task or problem…something else. These may offer some refreshment, even if they don't put an end to the dry season entirely. In any case, don't despair.

Have you suffered from depression?  And I don't mean that whiny "Woe is me!  I hate my life!  I had to buy a new car battery today!" type crap, but legit major depression?

[akimori makoto]

There is grace in this too. Our parched times show us ourselves in way's it is impossible to know otherwise. Therefore, though we suffer, we also have cause for thanksgiving. It is when we do what we ought…prayer, spiritual reading, almsgiving, etc. when it is hard for us that the benefit for our soul is greater, though we may not see it for some time.  Elder Sophrony gave a corollary to St. Siluon's instruction to keep your mind in hell but do not despair. The Elder said that when you've stared into hell as much as you can endure step back and have a cup of tea. St. Seraphim of Sarov said to find what draws grace down into your life and do that.  So it might help to find something simple that you know puts you in a better frame of mind…a walk in the woods, sitting by yourself in church praying the Jesus prayer, helping someone else with a task or problem…something else. These may offer some refreshment, even if they don't put an end to the dry season entirely. In any case, don't despair.

Have you suffered from depression?  And I don't mean that whiny "Woe is me!  I hate my life!  I had to buy a new car battery today!" type crap, but legit major depression?

Why do you ask, James? I don't consider it unthinkable that a clinician might give advice in terms of Seraphim98's last few sentences to a person with major depression. Of course, a clinician of skill and ethics would not confine him/herself to such recommendations.

In any case, I think we would agree that James should see a clinician rather than take the advice of strangers on the internet.

[Seraphim98]

Dear James,

Maybe. I don't know for sure. A psychologist friend of mine thinks I might. The odd internet test I've taken indicates moderate to severe depression.  But if that's the case, I don't remember being any other way…and I've had to live regardless. I like to think I've picked up a little wisdom along the way in learning to cope with my own life and limitations. The premise is simple: light reveals. It doesn't always reveal what's pretty. When i feel worn down to an emotional nub I'm not operating with any sense of situational elation, no particular sense of hope…I am what am fairly clearly to myself…a heap of failures…but you know what…I catch my breath and drag the next foot forward…I look in dismay at praylessness and from it am taught to pray, even if it is a simple repetition of the Jesus prayer. I listen to myself complaining in my head and in my heart about the unfairness of my lot, I remember that at least I see, and breathe, and hear, and can think…and that all these things that trouble me also reveal to me how cut off I am at times from comfort, from succor, from understanding, from purpose, from vision, from a reason to put my feet on the ground each morning…and that reveals the only hope and consolation that matters, Christ. So again I'm turned back to prayer. And sometimes when I think I can't stand anymore, I remember the  prayer of St. Nickolai Velorimovik, "Bless my Enemies, O Lord"…and somewhere I find the courage, the grace to rejoin, "And multiply them against me till there is no turning back from Thee."  Am I depressed…I don't know. I just know that though I make my bed in Hell, Thou art there. There is grace is seeing myself as I am because I know how weak and how far I am from what I should be and how needful I am of Christ to get there.  There is grace in that.

[Αριστοκλής]

See a therapist.

Who, JamesR or orthonorm?

[Αριστοκλής]

I don't know why. I just don't feel 'like myself' lately, and I haven't for a few months to be honest. I never want to do anything with my friends anymore, I always feel like everyone and everything is bothering me even when it could be something as simple as a 'Hello!' or 'Will you make coffee?'. I don't like leaving my bedroom that often, even going to Church feels more difficult to me. Everything just seems dry and I never feel happy nor sad, I just 'am'. Nothing feels good or excites me anymore. All I ever want to do is just drink excessive amounts of coffee, read and/or browse the internet and hide out in my bedroom. My thoughts on the other hand are never positive. I'm always thinking about something negative, finding the wrong in something, wallowing about a problem in the world etc. My few happy thoughts consist in either nostalgia for happy things from the past or are fantasies of what I want to see in the future. I'm sort of an insomniac staying up until like 4:00AM at night just lying down in my bed contemplating or listening to music.

What does the good Dr. OC.net prescribe?

The mid-adolescence lament of a slightly introverted, but seriously contemplative human being. Please don't overreact. Power off the computer, go for walk, visit the zoo, enjoy a museum, get a tennis racket and some tennis balls and pound a practice wall. Or maybe a golf driving range where you can rent equipment. Get out of your head and SEE how good creation is. He is everywhere and in all things. 

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