Maybe. I don't know for sure. A psychologist friend of mine thinks I might. The odd internet test I've taken indicates moderate to severe depression. But if that's the case, I don't remember being any other way…and I've had to live regardless. I like to think I've picked up a little wisdom along the way in learning to cope with my own life and limitations. The premise is simple: light reveals. It doesn't always reveal what's pretty. When i feel worn down to an emotional nub I'm not operating with any sense of situational elation, no particular sense of hope…I am what am fairly clearly to myself…a heap of failures…but you know what…I catch my breath and drag the next foot forward…I look in dismay at praylessness and from it am taught to pray, even if it is a simple repetition of the Jesus prayer. I listen to myself complaining in my head and in my heart about the unfairness of my lot, I remember that at least I see, and breathe, and hear, and can think…and that all these things that trouble me also reveal to me how cut off I am at times from comfort, from succor, from understanding, from purpose, from vision, from a reason to put my feet on the ground each morning…and that reveals the only hope and consolation that matters, Christ. So again I'm turned back to prayer. And sometimes when I think I can't stand anymore, I remember the prayer of St. Nickolai Velorimovik, "Bless my Enemies, O Lord"…and somewhere I find the courage, the grace to rejoin, "And multiply them against me till there is no turning back from Thee." Am I depressed…I don't know. I just know that though I make my bed in Hell, Thou art there. There is grace is seeing myself as I am because I know how weak and how far I am from what I should be and how needful I am of Christ to get there. There is grace in that.