Greetings in that Divine and Most Precious Name of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!
Aren't we forgetting about the concepts of Repentance (Reconciliation) and Absolution? If our sins are truly obliterated and forgotten, how should things like divorce somehow bar us from marrying again? I'm not talking about in the holy-roller kind of way, rather, if folks have seriously under the guidance of their Spiritual Fathers worked towards sincere Repentance after having also and truly given their all in reconciling their previous marriage? Should folks be held accountable for sins which have been Absolved?
Also, we should consider the economic and political changes in our modern society which have made a fundamentalist approach to the Canons inappropriate. Society as a whole was structured around marriage, both in land tenure, employment, control of financial assets, familial roles, and community involvement. It is not that women were entirely subject to men, or that men were entirely subject to women, but that both genders had specific societal roles which were dictated around marriage. In our modern world, so many folks are raised by single parents, so many Marriages are more symbolic than literal unions, so many families, cultures, and social support systems today are evolved around single parenting, specifically women. In a weird way, the modern world (not just Western but the "developing world" too) is almost seemingly shifting towards favoring a Matriarchy. Sure hard power is still enforced largely through male roles, however increasingly women are heads of households, are the primary care-giver, and further are actively involved in government, in politics, and in society as a whole. Its not that women's roles were ever negated, however they previously under the Patriarchy model were more nuanced and subtle, today they are more overt and recognized. This shifts how we deal with divorce then. If our society as a whole, particularly those outside of the Church, is structured around independence and also around the significance of women in the family unit, then is it beneficial for the Church to stick with an anachronistic approach to marriage? I am not advocating that we suddenly become divorce friendly, but rather, that we as a Christian community focus more on the flexibility of love, compassion, and forgiveness rather than sticking to a fundamentalist approach to the Canons, one which seems always to have been discouraged by the Fathers example.