Welcome to the board, Katie! I, and many others here, understand much of what you are going through. I remember well the looks I got from people if I dared to speak of the draw I had to the Orthodox Church. It was as if a third eye had appeared on my forehead! I also live in a rather isolated area, with the nearest parish being 100 miles from my home. It was not an easy nor convenient path to travel. While I have no concrete advice for you, I write to encourage you to persevere. It was one year ago today that I was received into the Orthodox Church and I'd rather live as an isolated Orthodox for the rest of my earthly days than to be surrounded by others at the churches "around the corner." I am finally at peace. I pray that you, too, will experience the same.