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Author Topic: Is There Anything Wrong with a Mail Order Bride?  (Read 2656 times) Average Rating: 0
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orthonorm
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« Reply #90 on: November 27, 2012, 06:25:40 PM »

Pretty much, just remember, that honesty will get you nowhere.  If she asks if the dress makes her butt look big you could tell her the truth and say that her butt makes the dress look big, but then you'll be a single chump looser again.  No siree!  You tell her that she looks exquisite and not a crows foot or age spot is visible on any of her chins!

This is where you are wrong.

There is a psychological phenomenon which is incredibly powerful and I am afraid to share it frankly. But doing the above will get you nowhere with most women (since most, especially in America respond to this psychological ploy because of our history of broken families and failed communities.)

I've charmed more women with an insult than a compliment.
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« Reply #91 on: November 27, 2012, 06:31:39 PM »

Pretty much, just remember, that honesty will get you nowhere.  If she asks if the dress makes her butt look big you could tell her the truth and say that her butt makes the dress look big, but then you'll be a single chump looser again.  No siree!  You tell her that she looks exquisite and not a crows foot or age spot is visible on any of her chins!

This is where you are wrong.

There is a psychological phenomenon which is incredibly powerful and I am afraid to share it frankly. But doing the above will get you nowhere with most women (since most, especially in America respond to this psychological ploy because of our history of broken families and failed communities.)

I've charmed more women with an insult than a compliment.

I touched on that in the preceding paragraph.  And in a round about way in the last sentence of this one.   Wink
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« Reply #92 on: November 27, 2012, 06:38:02 PM »

I've charmed more women with an insult than a compliment.

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« Reply #93 on: November 27, 2012, 06:47:16 PM »

I've charmed more women with an insult than a compliment.

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Excuse me, but I've been here a while.

Thanks.
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« Reply #94 on: November 27, 2012, 06:52:19 PM »

I've charmed more women with an insult than a compliment.

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« Reply #95 on: November 27, 2012, 06:53:05 PM »

If she asks if the dress makes her butt look big you could tell her the truth and say that her butt makes the dress look big, but then you'll be a single chump looser again.

What if it's a Black or Latina girl though? They take pride in the size of their butt.
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« Reply #96 on: November 27, 2012, 07:00:35 PM »

If she asks if the dress makes her butt look big you could tell her the truth and say that her butt makes the dress look big, but then you'll be a single chump looser again.

What if it's a Black or Latina girl though? They take pride in the size of their butt.

Well, we have two conflicting schools of thought.

Orthonorm would suggest you neg her - "Wow.  Did you just get off the boat from Somalia/El Salvadorado (or some other starving third world place w/o tourism and frequent civil wars)?  I think I can see your hip bones."

I'm more into lying to a woman, for any reason - "It's humungous, baby!  Elephantine, even!"
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« Reply #97 on: November 27, 2012, 07:17:10 PM »

I've charmed more women with an insult than a compliment.

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How is that obscene, yet talking about lady parts isn't?
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« Reply #98 on: November 27, 2012, 07:20:24 PM »

I've charmed more women with an insult than a compliment.

Obscene image removed from post by moderator  -PtA

How is that obscene, yet talking about lady parts isn't?
Again, if you wish to question my decision, send me a private message. I will not entertain questions of my action here on this thread.

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« Reply #99 on: November 27, 2012, 07:45:58 PM »


"It's humungous, baby!  Elephantine, even!"

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« Reply #100 on: November 27, 2012, 10:14:34 PM »

While whole books of cautions could be written, I will say that one of the most enduring AND successful Orthodox marriages I've seen, was between a man and woman who met via a dating service. This is not quite the mail order bride, but essentially similar to online "match" sites.

They were wise enough to plan for themselves a two-year courtship before marriage would be countenanced. The woman, from a foreign country but living then in England, if I recall, converted to Orthodoxy.

I am have not seen a rush for the exit gates on the part of such women, but it could be that I see the best of the subset, so to speak. Interfaith marriages often have pretty daunting problems.
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« Reply #101 on: November 27, 2012, 10:20:48 PM »

Yeah if you are going to another country, meeting the family, meeting the women before comitting, completely different than what a mail order bride is.

Not really.
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« Reply #102 on: November 27, 2012, 11:05:56 PM »

There is a psychological phenomenon which is incredibly powerful and I am afraid to share it frankly.
Punctuated reinforcement/Variable ratio schedule?

Or "emotion confusion" (see my forthcoming book on the neurotransmitter equivalent of the popular skinny nerd technique "muscle confusion" in the exercise realm)
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« Reply #103 on: November 27, 2012, 11:09:52 PM »

Yeah if you are going to another country, meeting the family, meeting the women before comitting, completely different than what a mail order bride is.

Not really.
How so? How are you defining mail order brides?
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« Reply #104 on: November 27, 2012, 11:35:04 PM »

Is there anything wrong with a mail-order bride?

Yeah, it's hard to fit a woman inside an envelope.

 Tongue
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« Reply #105 on: November 27, 2012, 11:40:52 PM »

Is there anything wrong with a mail-order bride?

Yeah, it's hard to fit a woman inside an envelope.

 Tongue

They do makes boxes.
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« Reply #106 on: November 27, 2012, 11:42:24 PM »

Is there anything wrong with a mail-order bride?

Yeah, it's hard to fit a woman inside an envelope.

 Tongue

They do makes boxes.
Opps forgot to puncture holes. Sorry James!
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« Reply #107 on: November 28, 2012, 12:28:28 AM »

Is there anything wrong with a mail-order bride?

Yeah, it's hard to fit a woman inside an envelope.

 Tongue

They do makes boxes.

Binders.
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« Reply #108 on: November 28, 2012, 12:48:35 AM »

Yeah if you are going to another country, meeting the family, meeting the women before comitting, completely different than what a mail order bride is.

Not really.
How so? How are you defining mail order brides?

Going out of country to get a spouse via some sort of brokering and having her move to your own country.
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« Reply #109 on: November 28, 2012, 12:59:01 AM »

This discussion gives me hope for the future (no sarcasm intended). Smiley
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« Reply #110 on: November 28, 2012, 01:02:39 AM »

Is there anything wrong with a mail-order bride?

Yeah, it's hard to fit a woman inside an envelope.

 Tongue

They do makes boxes.

Binders.

*zoinks*

How did I miss that obviously?
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« Reply #111 on: November 28, 2012, 04:22:11 AM »

Is there anything wrong with a mail-order bride?
Is there anything wrong with a femail-order groom?
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« Reply #112 on: November 28, 2012, 07:15:37 AM »

A buddy of mine has a mail order bride and they're quite happy. Im not saying that its definitely yes, it wrong however the woman is not obligated to marry anyone. Sounds like a mix of high-cost dating and an arranged marriage to me.

PP
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« Reply #113 on: November 28, 2012, 08:50:25 AM »

I think it really depends on what the person is looking for.

The vast majority of people who want a relationship usually have a certain character in their minds, a certain life story, and they are looking for the person who will fit that (and will want to fit that, for the matter).

In that case, is the beginning of the story that important for you? Does it have to come about through romantic serendipity (the main "theme" these days, due to movies and books)? Does it have to be related to being with friends, meeting her in the same circles you go with them? Does she have to be introduced by your parents, who first did the search among their friends daughters? If the "introduction" of your story is really not important, then marriage arranged by third-parties may be an option.

The first thing you have to remember is that it's logical to expect a lot of vultures parasiting human need of love in that. Never researched that, but I would expect most of what exists to be scams to get people's money and green cards. I would have to do research to find out which companies are really into matchmaking and which have confirmed good reputation - trusting not the "cases of success" (which may well be just biases propaganda) but assessment by third parties.

But before all that, think about your responsibility. If you find a trustable matchmaking site, if you find a nice girl there, she will be full of dreams for her life with you. I suppose you are in the US or some 1st world country right? She will have all those movies images with nice two store houses and two cars, green yards in her mind. Even if she has an "average" situation in her country, she expects the "average" situation in the 1st world to be significantly better. What I'm trying to say is that, even if she is not a social-climber, you still will be responsible for her well-being, both financial and psychological, much more than in a usual relationship where if the girls wants to quit, she simply gets her things and go back home.
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« Reply #114 on: November 28, 2012, 03:39:37 PM »

Maybe this was not "mail order brides" but when our grandparents etc. came over on boats at Ellis island it was pretty common for couples to quickly marry before disembarking and going to their new homes.  These marriages seem to have endured longer than the average marriage today.
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« Reply #115 on: November 29, 2012, 12:12:48 PM »

Maybe this was not "mail order brides" but when our grandparents etc. came over on boats at Ellis island it was pretty common for couples to quickly marry before disembarking and going to their new homes.  These marriages seem to have endured longer than the average marriage today.
I have a distant relative -- now long deceased -- who got blind drunk and woke up married. I was told the marriage was quite happy despite its inauspicious start.
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« Reply #116 on: November 29, 2012, 04:09:00 PM »

study hard, work hard, save money.
then u can travel and meet more people from other countries.
worked for me!

...and yes, cross cultural marriage is challenging, especially when you both start out protestant and then one becomes orthodox!
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« Reply #117 on: December 02, 2013, 03:54:15 PM »

NPR: Researchers recently took data from the Facebook app Are You Interested and found that not only is race a factor in our online dating interests, but particular races get disproportionately high — and low — amounts of interest.
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« Reply #118 on: December 02, 2013, 04:04:27 PM »

NPR: Researchers recently took data from the Facebook app Are You Interested and found that not only is race a factor in our online dating interests, but particular races get disproportionately high — and low — amounts of interest.
Well of course.

Black women are the least interested to all male racial groups. I was going to make a thread on it but I was worried if I might have come off as a racist.

EDIT: LOL just clicked the link yup that was the same graph I was going to post.
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« Reply #119 on: December 02, 2013, 04:11:29 PM »

NPR: Researchers recently took data from the Facebook app Are You Interested and found that not only is race a factor in our online dating interests, but particular races get disproportionately high — and low — amounts of interest.
Well of course.

Black women are the least interested to all male racial groups. I was going to make a thread on it but I was worried if I might have come off as a racist.

EDIT: LOL just clicked the link yup that was the same graph I was going to post.
It might come off racist if you imply that it such a phenomenon is just 'natural' and independent of cultural assumptions of beauty produced by historical, social, and political factors.
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« Reply #120 on: December 02, 2013, 04:43:27 PM »

I remember reading the OK Cupid thing a while back. Actually they had quite a few interesting blog entries (or whatever) using the data they track. But as with most statistics I think it's generally meaningless.  Stupid stupid statistics.  So... *shrugs*   Thanks for bumping this A1 thread though!  Smiley
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« Reply #121 on: December 02, 2013, 09:10:00 PM »

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« Reply #122 on: December 02, 2013, 09:10:35 PM »

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« Reply #123 on: December 03, 2013, 01:05:10 PM »

Given the direction of this thread, perhaps we could ponder delivery of a bride or groom within 30 minutes by an Amazon Prime Drone Droid in 2015?   Wink
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« Reply #124 on: December 03, 2013, 04:31:00 PM »

Given the direction of this thread, perhaps we could ponder delivery of a bride or groom within 30 minutes by an Amazon Prime Drone Droid in 2015?   Wink

Given the current weight limitations of Amazon's drone (approx. 5 lbs, I think) said bride or groom would have to be rather small, don't you think?  But then....oh, never mind... Grin
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« Reply #125 on: December 03, 2013, 05:08:27 PM »

Given the direction of this thread, perhaps we could ponder delivery of a bride or groom within 30 minutes by an Amazon Prime Drone Droid in 2015?   Wink

Alternatively, we can wait until transporter technology becomes commercially available. Wink
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« Reply #126 on: December 03, 2013, 05:22:49 PM »

Given the direction of this thread, perhaps we could ponder delivery of a bride or groom within 30 minutes by an Amazon Prime Drone Droid in 2015?   Wink

Alternatively, we can wait until transporter technology becomes commercially available. Wink

Well...I'll probably be long dead by then, and JamesR will probably be an old man, no longer particularly interested in mail order brides. Grin
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