Topic: Prayer for an Inquirer

[Pne123]

Please pray for me.  My wife is an almost completed catechumens. I am an inquirer who has many doubts. I have been crying out I pain because I am afraid of my wife leaving me behind and I will never be able to catch up because I don't know if I can become a catechumen. I don't know if I can genuinely sing the Liturgy but Do want to become Orthodox so can stand behind my wife and not be different (and feel excluded). 

[marigold]

Lord, have mercy on Pne123.

[Cantor Krishnich]

First of all, I want to congratulate you and your wife on your conversions (however long it takes for the both of you). Secondly I want to advise you to calm down: just keep calm and pray!   In many cases, the fear that you are describing is from the devil. He will always try to keep you down, he will try to keep you from the church, and he will try his best to lead you from salvation. Im no monk but I think that what you have described is a form of temptation. Sometimes we can accidentally think too much. Orthodoxy is not a game, your wife isnt beating your score, and your definitely not behind. I advise you to talk to your priest and talk to your wife. The catechumenate stage usually takes a year (for some people, the catechumante stage could be longer or shorter). Concerning the chanting: Not everyone has the vocals of an opera singer or of a middle eastern maqam singer, thats okay! You dont have to sing well (as long as you arent in the choir), I know many people who dont even sing at all! May God guide you and your wife on your journey to the Church.  

[quietmorning]

Lord have mercy on Pne123.

[Maximum Bob]

Lord have mercy.

[mabsoota]

may God guide you and give you peace. He loves you and your wife both, He doesn't need you to be 'doing well' to pour His grace on yr life.

[Pne123]

First of all, I want to congratulate you and your wife on your conversions (however long it takes for the both of you). Secondly I want to advise you to calm down: just keep calm and pray!   In many cases, the fear that you are describing is from the devil. He will always try to keep you down, he will try to keep you from the church, and he will try his best to lead you from salvation. Im no monk but I think that what you have described is a form of temptation. Sometimes we can accidentally think too much. Orthodoxy is not a game, your wife isnt beating your score, and your definitely not behind. I advise you to talk to your priest and talk to your wife. The catechumenate stage usually takes a year (for some people, the catechumante stage could be longer or shorter). Concerning the chanting: Not everyone has the vocals of an opera singer or of a middle eastern maqam singer, thats okay! You dont have to sing well (as long as you arent in the choir), I know many people who dont even sing at all! May God guide you and your wife on your journey to the Church.  

Hello Cantor  Thank you for the reply, every bit helps.  I am actually keeping calm, but it is more of resignation.  I have little faith and my wife has much.  Regarding orthodoxy not being a game or a score, that is not what I was trying to convey.  What I mean is I am afraid that when my wife becomes Orthodox, I wil give up even trying because I my motivations will be lost.  I have been talking to my wife a lot about my fears, and now the priest but it will be a very long road, and one that I dont think I can sustain.  for example the priest wants me to attend regularly to learn but what I would actually like to do with my limited spare time is go hiking and riding but to be with my wife I go to the Orthodox church with her to accommodate her, even when I dont feel like it and I feel its not genuine faith for me anyway.

[mabsoota]

can u compromise?
like one week hiking, one week church?
you are very welcome to attend church if you have no particular beliefs, or if you are probably a Christian, but not sure.
if you don't get baptised you can still attend, go up for blessings, make some nice food to share etc. etc.
it's not 'all or nothing' at this stage.

[mike]

I'd like to remind you that this section is for prayers and prayer requests ONLY. If you want to have a discussion - start it in the Convert Issues section.

[elephant]

Lord have mercy.  Lord have mercy. Lord have mercy
Most Holy Theotokos save us
Father Seraphim pray for us