I have a question regarding repentance and confession.
Last time I went to confession it was before Lent. A while after that, I find myself relapsing into the sin I've confessed out of anger, boredom and loneliness. In addition, the thoughts that assault me from time to time often get me into a sinful state as if I'm not in God's favor. I try to make things right with prayer (primarily), bible readings, asking God for forgiveness and mercy.
What my priest told me during my last confession was to focus on the positive actions to keep the thoughts and temptations off. I'm still struggling with that because I get distracted easily.
I want to go to confession one day to receive absolution because without it I can't recieve the Eucharist. Out of respect for the blessed sacrament, I abstained because I knew my sinfulness. I'm having a hard time arranging for confession because of all my duties and errands (school, work, etc.)
My fruits of repentance have been sour this far and I'm afraid that they'll be stale unless I go to onfession to recieve absolution. Is it sinful to think this way? Is going to confession forthr sole purpose of absolution sinful or not?
I just want to be cool with God, that's all. It's just the responsibilities I had to live up to are much more for me to handle no matter how often I ask for God's mercy.
Isn't the whole goal of confession to receive God's forgiveness?