Author Topic: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings  (Read 1250 times)

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Offline biro

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #45 on: December 11, 2018, 05:12:27 PM »
I am not a moderator and I can't combine threads.

There are only two people posting anyway. Keep being unfunny.
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Offline hecma925

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #46 on: December 11, 2018, 05:16:45 PM »
So?
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

Once Christ has filled the Cross, it can never be empty again.

"But God doesn't need your cookies!  Arrive on time!"

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #47 on: December 11, 2018, 06:13:53 PM »
"There's a lotta folks in Heaven that had the green light." -- an insurance claims adjuster I used to work for. I think of that every time I drive in rush hour traffic!  ;D
"Sometimes, you just gotta say, 'OK, I still have nine live, two-headed animals' and move on.'' (owner of Coney Island freak show, upon learning he'd been outbid on a 5-legged puppy)

Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #48 on: December 11, 2018, 06:40:06 PM »
I think you can say ~ In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit and post with charitable and prayerful intentions.

Offline Luke

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #49 on: December 11, 2018, 08:11:05 PM »
There are only two people posting anyway. Keep being unfunny.
I counted 10.  :-X

Offline biro

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #50 on: December 11, 2018, 09:21:49 PM »
I thought the thread had become a conversation between Svetlana and Sethrak.
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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #51 on: December 11, 2018, 09:25:24 PM »
I thought the thread had become a conversation between Svetlana and Sethrak.

What am I, chopped liver? (and ew, chopped liver...)
"Sometimes, you just gotta say, 'OK, I still have nine live, two-headed animals' and move on.'' (owner of Coney Island freak show, upon learning he'd been outbid on a 5-legged puppy)

Offline Svetlana

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #52 on: December 11, 2018, 11:22:36 PM »
Yes, or Estonian.

--

Now your turn.

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #53 on: December 12, 2018, 12:13:52 AM »
Yes, or Estonian.

--

Now your turn.

Let he who is free from sin cast the first Estonian.
"Sometimes, you just gotta say, 'OK, I still have nine live, two-headed animals' and move on.'' (owner of Coney Island freak show, upon learning he'd been outbid on a 5-legged puppy)

Offline hecma925

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #54 on: December 12, 2018, 12:51:00 AM »
I thought the thread had become a conversation between Svetlana and Sethrak.

So?
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

Once Christ has filled the Cross, it can never be empty again.

"But God doesn't need your cookies!  Arrive on time!"

Offline Sethrak

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #55 on: December 12, 2018, 12:56:40 AM »
Vart mu ga bardazin metch ~ there's a rose in the Garden ```

Offline Justin Kolodziej

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #56 on: December 12, 2018, 01:06:32 AM »
There was a great German one that I only can remember the literal translation for:

"All things have an end, except sausage, that has two!"
Today, too, people can be true Christians only if, on a daily basis, they’re guided by God’s saints.
  Saint Justin Popović

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #57 on: December 12, 2018, 05:14:40 PM »

Offline Sethrak

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #58 on: December 12, 2018, 10:47:48 PM »
Bedi potsvil vistie em ~ it will bloom I am sure ```

Offline Svetlana

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #59 on: December 13, 2018, 07:34:35 PM »
"I saw Mommie kissing Santa Claus -- and I'm gonna tell Daddy!"

Offline Sethrak

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #60 on: December 13, 2018, 09:54:16 PM »
Yede lav khnanka yev zink azad toghnem ~ if I pay close attention ~ but leave it room ```

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #61 on: December 13, 2018, 10:07:17 PM »
Yede lav khnanka yev zink azad toghnem ~ if I pay close attention ~ but leave it room ```

Why do you post in Armenian and English?
I think you can say ~ In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit and post with charitable and prayerful intentions.

Offline Sethrak

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #62 on: December 13, 2018, 10:12:49 PM »
Translating a song ```

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #63 on: December 13, 2018, 10:27:23 PM »
Translating a song ```

But they’re not always song lyrics.
I think you can say ~ In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit and post with charitable and prayerful intentions.

Offline Sethrak

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #64 on: December 13, 2018, 10:30:07 PM »
But they're always ~ word ~ phrases ~ songs ~or sayings  ```

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #65 on: December 13, 2018, 11:02:47 PM »
But they're always ~ word ~ phrases ~ songs ~or sayings  ```

I get that.  I’m wondering why you post in Armenian to begin with.
I think you can say ~ In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit and post with charitable and prayerful intentions.

Offline hecma925

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #66 on: December 13, 2018, 11:34:34 PM »
Isn't Armenian written in scribble-scrabble?
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

Once Christ has filled the Cross, it can never be empty again.

"But God doesn't need your cookies!  Arrive on time!"

Offline Sethrak

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #67 on: December 14, 2018, 12:03:03 AM »
It can be written in Latin letters ~ or in scribble scribble ```

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #68 on: December 14, 2018, 01:59:38 AM »
It can be written in Latin letters ~ or in scribble scribble ```

Good to know.
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

Once Christ has filled the Cross, it can never be empty again.

"But God doesn't need your cookies!  Arrive on time!"

Offline Sethrak

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #69 on: December 14, 2018, 02:40:18 PM »
Any alphabet can be used ~ than it can be sounded out by those who don't know Armenian Ape ou Pen ~ just as English words can be written with Armenian Font ```


Looks like it's gonna snow or sneeze ```

Offline Sethrak

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #70 on: December 15, 2018, 09:11:11 PM »
Image removed.  Sethrak, this is Other Topics and this image crosses the vulgarity threshold for this section.  This is far from the first time you've been warned for misusing a given section of this forum.  For this reason I'm giving you a 20% warning.  If you'd like to appeal this decision, please do so via PM.  Thanks.  --Ainnir
« Last Edit: December 15, 2018, 10:41:29 PM by Ainnir »

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #71 on: December 16, 2018, 07:23:27 AM »
I think we already have two threads like this.

Indeed, we have threads Jokes about the Orthodox Church and Bad joke but all of them seem to be a bit different. However, if there is really such need and support of the forumers, they may be merged.
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Offline Sethrak

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #72 on: December 18, 2018, 01:25:53 AM »
Mary had a little sheep ~ who's fleece was black as soot ~ and every where that Mary went ~ his sooty foot he put ```

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #73 on: December 18, 2018, 08:57:32 PM »
Maybe Christmas, the Grinch thought, doesn't come from a store.
 Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/christmas

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #74 on: December 18, 2018, 08:59:00 PM »
Tree decorating with cats:

O Christmas tree, O christmas tree,
Your Ornaments are history!

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #75 on: December 18, 2018, 09:02:54 PM »
Wise Men talk because they have something to say.
Fools -- because they have to say something.

                                           -- Plato

Offline Svetlana

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #76 on: December 18, 2018, 09:06:18 PM »
Three Wise Women :

* Would have asked directions
*  Arrived on time
*  Helped deliver the baby
*  Brought practical gifts
*  Cleaned the stable
*  Made a casserole
*  And there would be
*  Peace on Earth

Offline Svetlana

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #77 on: December 18, 2018, 09:08:37 PM »
We, like the Wise Men of Old,
Should seek the Christ Child,
And lay before Him
the most precious of gifts:
A broken heart,
And a contrite spirit.


Offline Svetlana

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #78 on: December 18, 2018, 09:14:12 PM »
"Have yourself a Merry little Christmas, may your days be bright,  etc.  . . . .

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #79 on: December 18, 2018, 09:21:17 PM »
"Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice." -- Dave Barry

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/dave_barry_102051
"Sometimes, you just gotta say, 'OK, I still have nine live, two-headed animals' and move on.'' (owner of Coney Island freak show, upon learning he'd been outbid on a 5-legged puppy)

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #80 on: December 19, 2018, 08:13:24 PM »
{And by the way, Sethrak,  SHAME ON YOU!  Don't embarrass our people anymore.   :o}

--

Many good wishes to all, during this blessed Christmastide.  May all good things be for all during the New Year 2019 !    :)

-- Sv.

Offline Svetlana

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #81 on: December 26, 2018, 08:08:30 PM »
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE :

1st Stage :  You believe in Santa Claus
2nd Stage :  You don't believe in Santa Claus
3rd Stage :   You ARE Santa Claus
4th Stage :   You LOOK LIKE Santa Claus

 :angel:

Offline Svetlana

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #82 on: December 26, 2018, 08:11:40 PM »
'Twas the Night before Christmas,
And all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even a mouse . . .
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
 In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
 While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
 And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
 Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
 I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
 Away to the window I flew like a flash,
 Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
 Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
 When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
 But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
 I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
 More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
 And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, DASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!
 On, COMET! on CUPID! on, DONNER and BLITZEN!
 To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
 Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
 When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
 So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
 With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
 The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
 As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
 Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
 And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
 A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
 And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
 His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
 His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
 And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
 And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
 He had a broad face and a little round belly,
 That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
 And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
 A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
 Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
 And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
 And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
 And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
 But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
 HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!
 :laugh:

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #83 on: December 26, 2018, 08:46:48 PM »
I thought the thread had become a conversation between Svetlana and Sethrak.

And now it's just a monologue ...  ;)   ;D   ;)
"Sometimes, you just gotta say, 'OK, I still have nine live, two-headed animals' and move on.'' (owner of Coney Island freak show, upon learning he'd been outbid on a 5-legged puppy)

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #84 on: December 27, 2018, 11:11:01 PM »
Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway.

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #85 on: January 03, 2019, 03:00:18 PM »
"Brass, cur! Thou damned and luxurious mountain goat,"

I am beginning to suspect me and Shakespeare aren't always on the same page; this insult, for instance.

Offline Sethrak

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #86 on: January 03, 2019, 05:08:56 PM »
Soviet times ```

A man goes into the Bank of Gdansk in Poland to make a deposit. Since he has never kept money in a bank before, he is a little nervous. "What happens if the Bank of Gdansk should fail?" he asks. "Well, in that case your money would be insured by the Bank of Warsaw." "But, what if the Bank of Warsaw fails?" "Well, there'd be no problem, because the Bank of Warsaw is insured by the National Bank of Poland." "And if the National Bank of Poland fails?" "Then your money would be insured by the Bank of Moscow." "And what if the Bank of Moscow fails?" "Then your money would be insured by the Great Bank of the Soviet Union." "And if that bank fails?" "It is insured by the government of Soviet Union." "And if it fails?" "Well, in that case, you'd lose all your money. But, wouldn't it be worth it?"

Offline Sethrak

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Re: Humor Column, Anecdotes, Wise Sayings
« Reply #87 on: January 03, 2019, 05:11:54 PM »
The ultimate outcome of shielding men from the effects of folly ~ is to fill the world with fools ```