Author Topic: Wonderful new Biblical translations  (Read 1634 times)

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Online Justin Kissel

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Re: Wonderful new Biblical translations
« Reply #45 on: January 01, 2015, 02:04:03 AM »
Isaiah 60:1-3

Original text:
Arise, shine; for thy light is come, and the glory of the Lord is risen upon thee. For, behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, and gross darkness the people: but the Lord shall arise upon thee, and his glory shall be seen upon thee. And the Gentiles shall come to thy light, and kings to the brightness of thy rising.

...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:
Legs, you can see in the dark Lord's contribution to the success of the feet, and the earth, and the thick dark God, thank you. In the future, or the king and the doctor

Offline hecma925

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Re: Wonderful new Biblical translations
« Reply #46 on: January 02, 2015, 01:56:25 AM »
Matthew 6:2

Original text:

"Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward."

...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:

"If the heart is not a secret, of course, when the Pharisees heard every day, on the road of life, to know and, in fact, they said they received the prize."
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Offline hecma925

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Re: Wonderful new Biblical translations
« Reply #47 on: January 03, 2015, 02:23:07 AM »
Titus 2:11-12

Original text:

"For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world;"

...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:

"Gentlemen, good economy, it seems to us, without charge, in this world, life is good and Holy in real life, ma'AM, and virtual teaching?"
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Offline hecma925

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Re: Wonderful new Biblical translations
« Reply #48 on: January 03, 2015, 05:47:31 AM »
Revelation 4:1

Original text:

"After this I looked, and, behold, a door was opened in heaven: and the first voice which I heard was as it were of a trumpet talking with me; which said, Come up hither, and I will shew thee things which must be hereafter"

...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:

"Today, I saw a door open in heaven, and finally, I want to hear a sound, the sound of the trumpet, he said, what doest people here, and I'll give you what you need."
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Online Justin Kissel

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Re: Wonderful new Biblical translations
« Reply #49 on: January 03, 2015, 06:24:38 AM »
Sir. 21:22 (Douay-Rheims)

Original text:
Doctrine to a fool is as fetters on the feet, and like manacles on the right hand.

...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:
Hole apartment in the design of the cuff.

Offline hecma925

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Re: Wonderful new Biblical translations
« Reply #50 on: January 04, 2015, 01:40:20 AM »
Micah 6:8

Original text:

"He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?"

...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:

"Look at the faces and usati won't be necessary, but I love it, perhaps with the permission of God, so much? "
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Offline hecma925

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Re: Wonderful new Biblical translations
« Reply #51 on: January 07, 2015, 04:24:48 AM »
Ephesians 5:1-2

Original text:

"Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God"

...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:

"This zimet anyway, I like you best in the shape of, for example, he loves us, because God's life in Hong Kong and sacrifice to the God of government. "
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Offline hecma925

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Re: Wonderful new Biblical translations
« Reply #52 on: January 08, 2015, 03:15:49 AM »
Amos 5:14-15

Original text:

"Seek good, and not evil, that ye may live: and so the Lord, the God of hosts, shall be with you, as ye have spoken. Hate the evil, and love the good, and establish judgment in the gate: it may be that the Lord God of hosts will be gracious unto the remnant of Joseph."

...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:

"It is good or bad, in my life, and that's why there is a God, as they say, I, like the devil, and to love god, and implement a project pilot on the door: God can't save the environment,the sons of Jacob and Joseph."
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Offline LBK

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Re: Wonderful new Biblical translations
« Reply #53 on: January 08, 2015, 09:16:58 AM »
Original text:

"For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise. "

...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:

"If, for example, baptism,God,God,God,no,absolutely free, it's not good, there are two men, a woman and God. If you're a Christian, maybe it's not that the seed of Abraham and heirs of the promise. "



No longer posting here. Anyone is welcome to email me at the address in my profile.

Offline hecma925

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Re: Wonderful new Biblical translations
« Reply #54 on: January 09, 2015, 06:03:39 AM »
Matthew 6:19-21

Original text:

"Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."

...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:

"I think there is a treasure in the earth, the sea, and rust,dust, Shane, no, destroy, and where thieves do not anal, but it didn't, but you can find treasures in heaven, where mother or nitrogen, and where to play and where to play treasure of the heart."
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Offline hecma925

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Re: Wonderful new Biblical translations
« Reply #55 on: January 11, 2015, 06:16:23 AM »
Psalm 118:5-6

Original text:

"I called upon the Lord in distress: the Lord answered me, and set me in a large place. The Lord is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me?"

...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:

"If Allah(God)for I said a lot of where I want to go. God lived with them, israel x adventures make me feel bad?"
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Offline hecma925

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Re: Wonderful new Biblical translations
« Reply #56 on: January 15, 2015, 03:55:47 AM »
John 8:31-32

Original text:

"Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; and ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."

...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:

"God said to him if you want to talk to you, you really are my disciples, and you know Jews who believe, actually, that's not true, he said."
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Offline primuspilus

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Re: Wonderful new Biblical translations
« Reply #57 on: January 15, 2015, 08:39:11 AM »
Isaiah 53:5

"But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed"

43 later:
"B. sensazzjoni all over the world as punishment for our sins, that the hole is in your hands, we can heal."

PP
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Offline LenInSebastopol

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Re: Wonderful new Biblical translations
« Reply #58 on: January 15, 2015, 08:45:21 AM »
????
You guys doing Russian Internet translations?
What the....?
Mark 14:36
God is with us, understand O' ye nations, and submit yourselves, for God is with us

Offline hecma925

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Re: Wonderful new Biblical translations
« Reply #59 on: January 16, 2015, 04:14:24 AM »
????
You guys doing Russian Internet translations?
What the....?

No.

Galatians 5:13-14

Original text:

"For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another. For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself."

...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:

"Strawberry love your neighbor like that freedom, I love my brothers and sisters,what is called, not after the flesh, but in General all the love and prinjat services in the field of law, but not here: "
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Online Justin Kissel

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Re: Wonderful new Biblical translations
« Reply #60 on: January 16, 2015, 04:49:33 AM »
????
You guys doing Russian Internet translations?
What the....?

"Why do you ask me? of course, I've heard this, you know, x-he said."

Original text:
"Why question me? Ask those who heard me. Surely they know what I said." - John 18:21


Online Justin Kissel

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Re: Wonderful new Biblical translations
« Reply #61 on: January 16, 2015, 04:53:36 AM »
????
You guys doing Russian Internet translations?
What the....?

Just use the link in the original post, explore, enjoy!

Online Justin Kissel

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Re: Wonderful new Biblical translations
« Reply #62 on: January 16, 2015, 04:57:13 AM »
Wis. 5:11

Original text:
Or as when a bird flieth through the air, of the passage of which no mark can be found, but only the sound of the wings beating the light air, and parting it by the force of her flight she moved her wings, and hath flown through, and there is no mark found afterwards of her way...

...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:
Or a bird, an arrow, when empty air, and then flying the plane, but also as sound, light, vibration and air, sent, and B-wings, x...

Offline hecma925

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Re: Wonderful new Biblical translations
« Reply #63 on: January 24, 2015, 03:58:59 AM »
Galatians 6:1

Original text:

"Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted."

...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:

"If there is a malfunction in the brain the criminal disorders every day, in a spirit of humility, this is a test, I don't want to believe it, for prinjat you, dear brothers and sisters."
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Offline biro

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Re: Wonderful new Biblical translations
« Reply #64 on: January 26, 2015, 12:05:16 AM »
"I like pie."

43 Yandexes later:

"I, I, mass."
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Offline hecma925

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Re: Wonderful new Biblical translations
« Reply #65 on: January 28, 2015, 07:33:23 AM »
Numbers 6:5

Original text:

"All the days of the vow of his separation there shall no razor come upon his head: until the days be fulfilled, in the which he separateth himself unto the Lord, he shall be holy, and shall let the locks of the hair of his head grow. "

...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:

"Today, junk tel Aviv,who decided to pay for shaving my head, what happened when, in this country,I, the Lord, the whole world, what it looks like."
« Last Edit: January 28, 2015, 07:33:36 AM by hecma925 »
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Offline hecma925

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Re: Wonderful new Biblical translations
« Reply #66 on: February 04, 2015, 02:00:57 AM »
II Peter 2:1

Original text:

"But there were also false prophets among the people, even as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Lord who bought them, and bring on themselves swift destruction."

...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:

"But false prophets also among the people, the beginning of the end, you can buy deny God,the Church, who doesn't have a teacher."
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Offline hecma925

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Re: Wonderful new Biblical translations
« Reply #67 on: February 08, 2015, 01:31:32 AM »
Matthew 5:44

Original text:

"But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you"

...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:

"But you love your enemies, s***, and I hate you, bless them and pray for them to be violent. "
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Offline Rhinosaur

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Re: Wonderful new Biblical translations
« Reply #68 on: February 08, 2015, 01:44:25 AM »
A good dramatization of this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN3Cn2Lu3lg

Offline hecma925

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Re: Wonderful new Biblical translations
« Reply #69 on: February 25, 2015, 07:52:39 AM »
Prayer of St. Ephrem:

Original text:

"O Lord and Master of my life, take from me the spirit of sloth, despair, lust of power, and idle talk. But give rather the spirit of chastity, humility, patience, and love to Thy servant.  Yea, O Lord and King, grant me to see my own transgressions, and not to judge my brother, for blessed art Thou, unto ages of ages. Amen."

...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:

"God and my lord, - as laziness,despair,anger, and empty words, but if the same spirit of chastity, humility, patience, love, and the server is located.  Equipped exhibition, I feel guilty, but not to judge my brother,my God, he is the king. Jesus Christ, Amen."
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Offline homedad76

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Re: Wonderful new Biblical translations
« Reply #70 on: February 25, 2015, 01:21:14 PM »
Revelation 20:13 Original Translation And the sea gave up the dead which were in it, and death and Hades gave up the dead which were in them; and they were judged, every one of them according to their deeds.

43 translations later: "Well, not to die, and death and hell were brought death, all of his actions."
"However hard I try, I find it impossible to construct anything greater than these three words, 'Love one another' —only to the end, and without exceptions: then all is justified and life is illumined, whereas otherwise it is an abomination and a burden."

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Offline hecma925

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Re: Wonderful new Biblical translations
« Reply #71 on: Today at 02:51:56 AM »
Joshua 1:9

Original text:

"Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest."

...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:


"Orders, sir, whoever you are, be courageous, be not afraid, God, not to you, not to fear, I will."
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Online Justin Kissel

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Re: Wonderful new Biblical translations
« Reply #72 on: Today at 04:30:42 AM »
Um.....

Mark 9:38-40

Original Text:
"Teacher," said John, "we saw someone driving out demons in your name and we told him to stop, because he was not one of us." "Do not stop him," Jesus said. "For no one who does a miracle in my name can in the next moment say anything bad about me, for whoever is not against us is for us."

...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:
Master John,in exile we name the devil and ask to stop it, no, America, I won't allow it), and say, God, tell him what you want. I thought I was, as before, are against us and against us.

That was one outcome using the NIV. Then I tried the KJV...

Chinese master! this , he said. Evil name that is inconsistent with the real world that we see is the united states of america should not be confused with the fact that I don't like. Oh,for God's sake, not surprisingly,there's nothing 'against us, against us, and who will be the bad guy I ngħid.

 8)