I understand these issues. I went alone by myself to the traditional latin mass most Sundays, so Thank God, the decision to become Orthodox was not particularly dependent on others.
Although my extended families influence did play a role in my decision to be part of a Latin rite Orthodox mission. I made that decision not because I felt awkward in an "ethnic parish" but because it is my own heritage. Come to think of it Latin rite parishes are also ethnic parishes ! The fact that it would be more familiar to my family members (thus ethnicity in latin rite ..) if they did visit did help with the idea. Gosh Orthodoxy is ethnic, but thats why I like it. It's not too ethnic, just a enough to have substance.
Ironically I always felt very comfortable with greek culture in the greek orthodox churches. I may be barely literate in modern or koine greek language/alphabet but knowing a few key words helps. I always felt that the greek cultural heritage and view of life was very similar to some of the spanish and italian heritage and view, which is in my own blood and I grew up with. When I heard that bouzouki play at festivities it reminded me of the spanish bandurria (lute), distinctly familiar but with a slightly different context and language.
It is amazing how each particular area and parish and person varies so much.
It all leads us to different conclusions.
Even if we think we are leading ourselves, if we are praying, God is also leading us to what is best beyond our understandings I suspect. I very much agree that it is best for most people to go to church as a family, however ...
On the other hand, people do need to have a mature view of the faith too.
If we can't come to some sort of a compromise with our families, there is a point at which we must pray in a way which helps us most, for own sanities sake. I certainly wouldn't encourage anyone to put up with a "charismatic" type liturgy or protestant type church (or even so-called roman catholic style "charismatic" mass) if that was what our wife or parents found most moving, it would be time for a re-education campaign to begin to expound to them basic meaning of the orthodox catholic christian faith.