I can't wait for the ialmisry and PeterTheAleut ones.Ialmisry's Journey through the Celestial Spheres[THE FOLLOWING WAS REVEALED IN A VISION FROM THE GRIM REAPER TO THE PIOUS VASSAL SIKAMOROS THE BOGOMIL]
And it came to pass that the Elder Ialmisry departed this life.
He was greeted by St. Peter and Pope Pius X at the gates of Paradise. They both held giant silver keys in their hands.
"Ialmisry, my child, it turns out that, according to my associate here, the Lombardo-Gothic Carolingians were correct about the supremacy of Old Rome," said St. Peter.
The venerable Ialmisry shook his head. "I refuse to accept it," he replied.
Pope Pius X was taken aback by the Elder's stubbornness. "But you now stand in the very maw of Purgatory!"
The Elder patted out a few flames creeping up the side of his robe. "This fire is clearly immaterial," he answered.
"Fine, fine," said Pope Pius X. "The two of us shall have a contest. I'll summon my champion, and if you can defeat him, then I shall accept Roman Catholicism, and renounce Vaticanianism."
With a flourish, the venerable Ialmisry gave his assent.
And it came to pass, that a glowing light appeared, and a fourth man was found in their midst.
"Ialmisry, meet Beatus of Liébana, legendary geographer," Pope Pius boasted. "He is my champion; best him in a contest of cartography, and the day is yours."
"And what, pray tell, will we be mapping?" St. Beatus inquired.
"The Kingdom of Heaven!" St. Peter declared. "The first of you to map it correctly wins the faith!"
And it came to pass, that ink, quill and parchment were prepared for the two contestants. And it came to pass that, with a wave of their mighty keys, the Apostle and Pope signaled the start of the race.
The Elder Ialmisry began his labor with a small smile on his face.
St. Beatus scribbled furiously, blended colors, thrusting forth upon his canvas arching spears of latitudes and longitudes. Mountains arose, rivers filled, cities and townships were established. His compass danced across the parchment, carving out roads, tradeways, borders of empire. And it came to pass that after many hours, he arose from his work and shouted, "Complete!"
And the map was truly a grand affair. It was a worthy tapestry of terrain, fit to adorn the war-tent of the heavenly host.
"Fine and good," observed Elder Ialmisry, "but I finished an hour ago."
"Absurd!" scoffed Pope Pius X, "You've never even been inside the Gates behind us, and you think you've bested Beatus at mapping out the Kingdom of Heaven?"
Elder Ialmisry held up his parchment. Upon it he had drawn a small icon of Christ's Transfiguration.
"It's 'Reign of Heaven," the Elder corrected. "Haven't you read Fr. Romanides?"