As most of you know, I teach at our church school on Saturdays.
A mom of one of the kids is desperate for help and doesn't know where to turn. I was hoping perhaps one of you may have seen such a situation, heard of something, etc...that might help.
Her son is now 16. He was born with some kidney issues and underwent a number of surgeries as an infant. He apparently had tubes and a baggy hanging from him for months until they fixed the issue. As such she says people were afraid to hold and cuddle him, because of fear of pulling out the tubes, etc.
Anyway, by age 10 he had his last surgery and is free and clear of any complications.
Child is smart, well behaved.....however, had a hard time making friends as a kid. More of a loner. Nothing to really worry about, yet.
Few years back, especially last year, he's become more of a loner. His sister told their mom that kids at school tease him that he has Aspergers and he still doesn't "have" any close friends.
However, when you speak to him, he seems fine. A bit shy....won't strike up a conversation, but, will answer when spoken to.
His mom says last year (in High School) he began staying up late to do his homework....until 2 or 3....and had to be up by 6. Hard to get him up. I can understand that.
Now, mom and dad are having issues. Serious issues....but, trying to work things out.
Over the summer, mom told me that this boy would go to bed at 5 or 6 in the morning. She can't "force" him to go to sleep, if he refuses. She's tried taking him to a therapist, but, after a few visits it wasn't really helping and he now refuses to go.
The child realizes there's something wrong. When you ask why he won't go to bed, he says he doesn't know why....and yet he can't get himself to bed. He'll walk around, go get water, go to the bathroom, go downstairs, go back upstairs, etc. However, once in bed he falls asleep immediately...because he's physically exhausted.
Not only is sleep a problem, everything is. He's late to everything. Even if he is already "up" and watching TV, and they have to go grocery shopping, it now takes 2 hours for him to be ready. Everyone always has to wait LONG time for him to appear. He's late to school, church, baseball practice... He is NEVER in a hurry. Even is she is beside herself because they are so late, and her daughter is in the car waiting, he will sit down to tie his shoes....she tells him to just grab them and tie them in the car, he won't. He will sit down and tie his shoes, and come out when he is ready. He doesn't do it to be "mean". He's not "mean". He just can't "hurry".
He seldom eats dinner with his family. He will go to wash his hands, and return when everyone is already done. He'll be in the bathroom for hours...and when mom bangs on the door, he says his stomach hurts and leave him alone.
Last year he had so many tardies to school that papers were sent home and a grade was knocked down. HOWEVER, mom says that therapist had her send out questionnaires to his teachers to gauge how he acts in school....not a single teacher had anything bad to say. He was an exemplary student, good grades, his behavior in class was fine, he had no social issues that they could see....only ONE issue was that he was falling asleep in class.
Mom phoned me in tears because she doesn't know what to do. Three days of school, and he's been late already 3 times. He won't get to sleep until 5:40 and has to be getting back up at 6.
When the child is confronted he will be remains quiet and fights back tears, because he realizes something is wrong...and yet, he simply can't help himself. He hates being late. He is quiet, keeps things bottled up, but, truly kind and sweet.
Of what I know of him, he's the sweetest, kindest young man. He has never refused to help me when I asked him to. It breaks my heart to hear this going on with him.
Can anyone suggest a course of action? Does anyone have any idea why this is happening to him?
His mom was thinking maybe he had issues because of early surgeries, and now has trust issues or something. Perhaps something due to parent's marital issues....perhaps genetic issues....perhaps....and the possibilities are endless.
I even suggested the "sleep paralysis" that was being mentioned on another thread here,...and perhaps he's afraid to go to bed and experience some scary stuff. However, that wouldn't answer why he's always late, even when awake.
Any and all advice is greatly appreciated, as his family is desperate to help their son.