Author Topic: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?  (Read 6867 times)

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Offline age234

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #90 on: September 05, 2012, 04:05:50 PM »
This lightside religious stuff seems very confusing and burdensome. The dark side seems much more appealing right now. No more judgment or condemnation, no more guilt or impossible ethical code to follow. Just absolute freedom and indulgence in my passions--along with the ability to be accepting of everyone opposed to judging them or telling them how they ought to behave like religion does. I highly sympathize with Anakin Skywalker's fall to the darkside.

Sorry I've been watching too much Star Wars

Yeah...and Anakin led a blissful life after his appetitive passions drove him to kill his wife and help Palpatine enslave a million worlds.

The Jedi are about bringing their passions under submission. A lot like Orthodoxy actually, except without lightsabers and midichlorians.

We do have the Holy Mysteries, though. Nothing is impossible for Christ who gives us strength.
« Last Edit: September 05, 2012, 04:05:58 PM by age234 »

Offline age234

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #91 on: September 05, 2012, 04:09:21 PM »
I've heard how 'courting' is starting to make a comeback, where both families are involved, and the courtship takes place within a more communal atmosphere.

I agree with this. It was the way of things for a long time before this infernal dating concept arose. LARPing as married couples, full of false romanticism, for 10 or 15 years before actually getting married—what could go wrong?

Offline vamrat

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #92 on: September 05, 2012, 04:24:02 PM »
This lightside religious stuff seems very confusing and burdensome. The dark side seems much more appealing right now. No more judgment or condemnation, no more guilt or impossible ethical code to follow. Just absolute freedom and indulgence in my passions--along with the ability to be accepting of everyone opposed to judging them or telling them how they ought to behave like religion does. I highly sympathize with Anakin Skywalker's fall to the darkside.

Sorry I've been watching too much Star Wars

Yeah...and Anakin led a blissful life after his appetitive passions drove him to kill his wife and help Palpatine enslave a million worlds.

The Jedi are about bringing their passions under submission. A lot like Orthodoxy actually, except without lightsabers and midichlorians.

We do have the Holy Mysteries, though. Nothing is impossible for Christ who gives us strength.

We don't need lightsabers and midichlorians.  We have Cossack sabres and medium tanks.  God save Vladimir Putin!  Lighthouse of Orthodoxy!
Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt.

Offline vamrat

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #93 on: September 05, 2012, 04:25:36 PM »
I've heard how 'courting' is starting to make a comeback, where both families are involved, and the courtship takes place within a more communal atmosphere.

I agree with this. It was the way of things for a long time before this infernal dating concept arose. LARPing as married couples, full of false romanticism, for 10 or 15 years before actually getting married—what could go wrong?

What's wrong with dating and marriage 2.0?  Is it really that wrong for one person to use another as a fashion accessory?
Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt.

Offline William

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #94 on: September 05, 2012, 04:34:23 PM »
Except plenty of people date for only 1-2 years and don't larp as married couples.
Apart from moral conduct, all that man thinks himself able to do in order to become acceptable to God is mere superstition and religious folly. - Immanuel Kant

Offline DaveInCSA

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #95 on: September 05, 2012, 07:54:57 PM »
When I "came to Christ" and was "born again" back in 1987, I committed to the Lord that I would be sexually pure with whomever He brought into my life. I met my the woman I would end up marrying about a year later. She was a virgin and was one still when we got married. Nothing other than kissing up to that point. I never let it get too intense.

Married 23 years now and I'm more crazy in love with her than ever.

It's possible. I knew what I was saying no to and it was worth the wait!!

Offline age234

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #96 on: September 05, 2012, 08:54:39 PM »
Except plenty of people date for only 1-2 years and don't larp as married couples.

I have observed a fair amount of dating in my life. Regardless of length of time, a majority of dating is essentially heavily romanticized LARPing as married, except perhaps for living in the same house.

That's just my opinion, but I do think dating instills a lot of potentially dangerous ideas and expectations of what marriage is. Romance is particularly dangerous, and the best marriage counselors make some effort to downplay romance and take off the blinders that these overly emotional times put on. Or if they go all the way (in more ways than one), there is no significant difference between marriage and dating, which is dangerous in its own way.

Offline William

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #97 on: September 05, 2012, 09:32:11 PM »
Except plenty of people date for only 1-2 years and don't larp as married couples.

I have observed a fair amount of dating in my life. Regardless of length of time, a majority of dating is essentially heavily romanticized LARPing as married, except perhaps for living in the same house.

That's just my opinion, but I do think dating instills a lot of potentially dangerous ideas and expectations of what marriage is. Romance is particularly dangerous, and the best marriage counselors make some effort to downplay romance and take off the blinders that these overly emotional times put on. Or if they go all the way (in more ways than one), there is no significant difference between marriage and dating, which is dangerous in its own way.

Can you explain in what ways dating is too similar to marriage?
Apart from moral conduct, all that man thinks himself able to do in order to become acceptable to God is mere superstition and religious folly. - Immanuel Kant

Offline Ergib

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #98 on: September 06, 2012, 01:50:40 PM »
I would love to find a girl willing to wait; but these days in Ny they don't seem to exist. I fear i may never find anyone. Also does anyone know of any resourses or practical advice on remaining chaste?  Thank you.

If 2nd virginity counts, here i am waiting :)

Offline stpaulphilip

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #99 on: September 06, 2012, 03:38:25 PM »
I'm an INFJ.  Less than 1% of the world's population is an INFJ.  No wonder I'm such a weirdo. 
Isaiah 5:20 "Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!"

Offline Shiny

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #100 on: September 06, 2012, 03:42:36 PM »
I'm an INFJ.  Less than 1% of the world's population is an INFJ.  No wonder I'm such a weirdo. 
Hey me too bro. If both of us are weird what does that say about us being Orthodox? lol
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Offline WeldeMikael

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #101 on: September 06, 2012, 03:44:39 PM »
ISFJ.

Any ISFJs here ?  ;D

Offline dzheremi

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #102 on: September 06, 2012, 07:01:50 PM »
I had to look those things up. I thought we were still talking about virginity statuses, given the topic..."What the...? How many categories can there possibly be?!" ??? :-[

Offline Deborah

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #103 on: September 06, 2012, 09:40:36 PM »
ISFJ.

Any ISFJs here ?  ;D

ISTJ, but close to the centre point on the T/F scale.

As to the other, still waiting...
« Last Edit: September 06, 2012, 09:41:17 PM by Deborah »
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Offline neon_knights

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #104 on: September 06, 2012, 10:17:01 PM »
This lightside religious stuff seems very confusing and burdensome. The dark side seems much more appealing right now. No more judgment or condemnation, no more guilt or impossible ethical code to follow. Just absolute freedom and indulgence in my passions--along with the ability to be accepting of everyone opposed to judging them or telling them how they ought to behave like religion does. I highly sympathize with Anakin Skywalker's fall to the darkside.

Sorry I've been watching too much Star Wars

Just be careful you don't become a slave to your passions, therefore giving up your newfound "freedom".

And seriously, look up Grey Jedi.

Offline Antonis

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #105 on: September 07, 2012, 12:19:08 AM »
This lightside religious stuff seems very confusing and burdensome. The dark side seems much more appealing right now. No more judgment or condemnation, no more guilt or impossible ethical code to follow. Just absolute freedom and indulgence in my passions--along with the ability to be accepting of everyone opposed to judging them or telling them how they ought to behave like religion does. I highly sympathize with Anakin Skywalker's fall to the darkside.

Sorry I've been watching too much Star Wars
Who predicted this on Tikhon's thread?  :'(
'Η ἐλπίς μου ὁ Πατήρ, καταφυγή μου ὁ Υἱός, σκέπη μου τὸ Πνεῦμα τὸ Ἅγιον· Τριὰς Ἁγία, δόξα Σοι.

Offline vamrat

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #106 on: September 07, 2012, 12:22:22 AM »
I had to look those things up. I thought we were still talking about virginity statuses, given the topic..."What the...? How many categories can there possibly be?!" ??? :-[

I took a MB test once.  The shrink said WTF.  Aren't most of these classifications four letters?
Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt.

Offline akimori makoto

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #107 on: September 07, 2012, 12:42:17 AM »
I'm an INFJ.  Less than 1% of the world's population is an INFJ.  No wonder I'm such a weirdo. 
Hey me too bro. If both of us are weird what does that say about us being Orthodox? lol

Thirded.
The Episcopallian road is easy and wide, for many go through it to find destruction. lol sorry channeling Isa.

Offline Anastasia1

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #108 on: September 07, 2012, 12:51:36 AM »
So far, so good. I saw a poster at my old college that said that one in five people gets and STD. I remember thinking with disgust that this is my dating pool.  There is a reason to keep things zipped. Maybe if you get to talking with someone about it, they might gradually start to see that maybe there is value to waiting, like emotional protection in the event of a breakup, or respect for the person and valuing them before pleasure, or growth of other kinds of intimacy first so that the relationship truly deepens further...  I have dated someone who didn't wait and wasn't in a strong position about it, but recognized that God's way was better for us.  I was ok with that because when we both agreed on what to aim for, we could better aim ourselves in the same direction as a couple. We ended up splitting up for other reasons though.
Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation. (2 Cor 2:6)

Offline Anastasia1

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #109 on: September 07, 2012, 12:53:17 AM »
I'm an INFJ.  Less than 1% of the world's population is an INFJ.  No wonder I'm such a weirdo. 
Hey me too bro. If both of us are weird what does that say about us being Orthodox? lol

Thirded.
ESF P or J.

Interesting that MB results are the new four-letter-words. I should use them more at work. ;)
Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation. (2 Cor 2:6)

Offline dzheremi

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #110 on: September 07, 2012, 01:10:54 AM »
So far, so good. I saw a poster at my old college that said that one in five people gets and STD. I remember thinking with disgust that this is my dating pool.  There is a reason to keep things zipped. Maybe if you get to talking with someone about it, they might gradually start to see that maybe there is value to waiting, like emotional protection in the event of a breakup, or respect for the person and valuing them before pleasure, or growth of other kinds of intimacy first so that the relationship truly deepens further...  I have dated someone who didn't wait and wasn't in a strong position about it, but recognized that God's way was better for us.  I was ok with that because when we both agreed on what to aim for, we could better aim ourselves in the same direction as a couple. We ended up splitting up for other reasons though.

You are smarter than whoever you marry probably deserves.

Offline Anastasia1

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #111 on: September 07, 2012, 01:56:20 AM »
So far, so good. I saw a poster at my old college that said that one in five people gets and STD. I remember thinking with disgust that this is my dating pool.  There is a reason to keep things zipped. Maybe if you get to talking with someone about it, they might gradually start to see that maybe there is value to waiting, like emotional protection in the event of a breakup, or respect for the person and valuing them before pleasure, or growth of other kinds of intimacy first so that the relationship truly deepens further...  I have dated someone who didn't wait and wasn't in a strong position about it, but recognized that God's way was better for us.  I was ok with that because when we both agreed on what to aim for, we could better aim ourselves in the same direction as a couple. We ended up splitting up for other reasons though.

You are smarter than whoever you marry probably deserves.
Wow. Thank you. I have been blessed to have many wise people in my life.
Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation. (2 Cor 2:6)

Offline HabteSelassie

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #112 on: September 07, 2012, 01:15:47 PM »
Greetings in that Divine and Most Precious Name of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!


ESF P or J.

What?


stay blessed,
habte selassie
« Last Edit: September 07, 2012, 01:16:07 PM by HabteSelassie »
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Offline William

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #113 on: September 08, 2012, 09:55:12 PM »
I'm supposedly ISFP.
Apart from moral conduct, all that man thinks himself able to do in order to become acceptable to God is mere superstition and religious folly. - Immanuel Kant

Offline Shanghaiski

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #114 on: September 08, 2012, 10:34:50 PM »
This lightside religious stuff seems very confusing and burdensome. The dark side seems much more appealing right now. No more judgment or condemnation, no more guilt or impossible ethical code to follow. Just absolute freedom and indulgence in my passions--along with the ability to be accepting of everyone opposed to judging them or telling them how they ought to behave like religion does. I highly sympathize with Anakin Skywalker's fall to the darkside.

Sorry I've been watching too much Star Wars

Yeah...and Anakin led a blissful life after his appetitive passions drove him to kill his wife and help Palpatine enslave a million worlds.

The Jedi are about bringing their passions under submission. A lot like Orthodoxy actually, except without lightsabers and midichlorians.

We do have the Holy Mysteries, though. Nothing is impossible for Christ who gives us strength.

We don't need lightsabers and midichlorians.  We have Cossack sabres and medium tanks.  God save Vladimir Putin!  Lighthouse of Orthodoxy!
Amin! Slava Vladimiru!
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Offline Nathanael

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #115 on: September 18, 2012, 08:09:41 AM »
How can God expect us not to fornicate but allow us to be born with an insatiable sexual appetite?

How can he expect that we don't be angry but to allow us to be born with anger? If you would follow right this sort of logic, you can say everything is allowed to me do, because everybody has more ore less jealousy, anger, hate, judging, sometimes desire to kill somebody, revenge, etc. in his character. You see the abyss of this logic?! To be born with something didn't mean you should accept it. We need the strangle against the passions, without it, we couldn't never reach humility.
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Offline Kerdy

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #116 on: September 18, 2012, 08:51:55 AM »
Maybe the question should have asked who wished they had waited until marriage.  Sometimes asking the wrong question gets the wrong answer.

Offline Fr Spyridon

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #117 on: September 18, 2012, 01:50:51 PM »
From the tone of many of these posts I'm guessing that a number of you are quite young men. Those of us who have reached an older age can verify it all gets easier once the body calms down and biology assumes you've done what you need to do to maintain the human race.
We are not cursed with these desires - God blessed us with a desire for our partner and should you allow that blessing to find its proper expression you will be closer to enjoying the fullness of what God intends for you. The quick, improper use will not be a longlasting joy. Remember the wedding at Cana - the last wine drawn was the best - a metaphor for the blessings that often come from many years shared in marriage - the deeper the relationship goes the better it can become.
There are plenty of faithful Orthodox women in the world. Sometimes a man will look past such a woman because of worldly ideals about beauty or body shape. However, if what your heart truly longs for is a righteous woman then you will be drawn to a righteous woman - you will be drawn to what you desire.
And if you want a righteous woman to be drawn to you, try to live out the gospel as well as you can - she'll find you. Remember - there are women out there seeking in a husband the virtues you seek in a wife - but ask yourself if such a woman would be attracted to you.
Keep praying. Keep fasting. The body will run amock if you let it, but will curb it's waywardness if you are stern with it and demand it follows your commands.
God bless you.

Offline Maria

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #118 on: September 18, 2012, 02:00:33 PM »
From the tone of many of these posts I'm guessing that a number of you are quite young men. Those of us who have reached an older age can verify it all gets easier once the body calms down and biology assumes you've done what you need to do to maintain the human race.
We are not cursed with these desires - God blessed us with a desire for our partner and should you allow that blessing to find its proper expression you will be closer to enjoying the fullness of what God intends for you. The quick, improper use will not be a longlasting joy. Remember the wedding at Cana - the last wine drawn was the best - a metaphor for the blessings that often come from many years shared in marriage - the deeper the relationship goes the better it can become.
There are plenty of faithful Orthodox women in the world. Sometimes a man will look past such a woman because of worldly ideals about beauty or body shape. However, if what your heart truly longs for is a righteous woman then you will be drawn to a righteous woman - you will be drawn to what you desire.
And if you want a righteous woman to be drawn to you, try to live out the gospel as well as you can - she'll find you. Remember - there are women out there seeking in a husband the virtues you seek in a wife - but ask yourself if such a woman would be attracted to you.
Keep praying. Keep fasting. The body will run amock if you let it, but will curb it's waywardness if you are stern with it and demand it follows your commands.
God bless you.

Thank you Father.

Your wisdom is appreciated.

Women also need to heed your advice as true love will wait. If we put God first in our relationship, then God will bless us. Yes, it takes prayer and fasting to control our passions, but the benefits far outweigh any small inconveniences.

When I was seeking a husband, I asked God to help me. I looked for three signs:
1. I would meet my future husband at a Christian gathering.
2. He would lead me into a deeper relationship with Christ.
3. He would be tall, blue-eyed, and blonde.

All three conditions were met within three months.
Ἅγιος ὁ Θεός
Ἅγιος ἰσχυρός
Ἅγιος ἀθάνατος
ἐλέησον ἡμας

Offline augustin717

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #119 on: September 18, 2012, 02:03:26 PM »
From the tone of many of these posts I'm guessing that a number of you are quite young men. Those of us who have reached an older age can verify it all gets easier once the body calms down and biology assumes you've done what you need to do to maintain the human race.
We are not cursed with these desires - God blessed us with a desire for our partner and should you allow that blessing to find its proper expression you will be closer to enjoying the fullness of what God intends for you. The quick, improper use will not be a longlasting joy. Remember the wedding at Cana - the last wine drawn was the best - a metaphor for the blessings that often come from many years shared in marriage - the deeper the relationship goes the better it can become.
There are plenty of faithful Orthodox women in the world. Sometimes a man will look past such a woman because of worldly ideals about beauty or body shape. However, if what your heart truly longs for is a righteous woman then you will be drawn to a righteous woman - you will be drawn to what you desire.
And if you want a righteous woman to be drawn to you, try to live out the gospel as well as you can - she'll find you. Remember - there are women out there seeking in a husband the virtues you seek in a wife - but ask yourself if such a woman would be attracted to you.
Keep praying. Keep fasting. The body will run amock if you let it, but will curb it's waywardness if you are stern with it and demand it follows your commands.
God bless you.

Thank you Father.

Your wisdom is appreciated.

Women also need to heed your advice as true love will wait. If we put God first in our relationship, then God will bless us. Yes, it takes prayer and fasting to control our passions, but the benefits far outweigh any small inconveniences.

When I was seeking a husband, I asked God to help me. I looked for three signs:
1. I would meet my future husband at a Christian gathering.
2. He would lead me into a deeper relationship with Christ.
3. He would be tall, blue-eyed, and blonde.

All three conditions were met within three months.
What a match-maker we have in Jesus! Amen!!!

Offline spiltteeth

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #120 on: September 18, 2012, 02:16:31 PM »
From the tone of many of these posts I'm guessing that a number of you are quite young men. Those of us who have reached an older age can verify it all gets easier once the body calms down and biology assumes you've done what you need to do to maintain the human race.
We are not cursed with these desires - God blessed us with a desire for our partner and should you allow that blessing to find its proper expression you will be closer to enjoying the fullness of what God intends for you. The quick, improper use will not be a longlasting joy. Remember the wedding at Cana - the last wine drawn was the best - a metaphor for the blessings that often come from many years shared in marriage - the deeper the relationship goes the better it can become.
There are plenty of faithful Orthodox women in the world. Sometimes a man will look past such a woman because of worldly ideals about beauty or body shape. However, if what your heart truly longs for is a righteous woman then you will be drawn to a righteous woman - you will be drawn to what you desire.
And if you want a righteous woman to be drawn to you, try to live out the gospel as well as you can - she'll find you. Remember - there are women out there seeking in a husband the virtues you seek in a wife - but ask yourself if such a woman would be attracted to you.
Keep praying. Keep fasting. The body will run amock if you let it, but will curb it's waywardness if you are stern with it and demand it follows your commands.
God bless you.

Thank you so much for these wise words. I started the topic because I'm now in my 30's and, at least in NY USA, there are more sightings of bigfoot than virtuous women. They seem astonished and disturbed that I believe in waiting till marriage. I really wonder how the Orthodox will replenish the faithful ! The catholic women don't seem terribly interested in chastity; and really its mostly fundamentalist evangelicals that are, nominally, trying to live chaste. I'm not a bad looking guy (my avatar is me) but I don't have much money or a good job. Still it just seemed like such a rarity I'm glad I've gotten some support and examples here.
I do wonder what the most sexually conservative country is? Sadly, its probably Islamic. Perhaps Poland ?

Offline Maria

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #121 on: September 18, 2012, 02:17:34 PM »
From the tone of many of these posts I'm guessing that a number of you are quite young men. Those of us who have reached an older age can verify it all gets easier once the body calms down and biology assumes you've done what you need to do to maintain the human race.
We are not cursed with these desires - God blessed us with a desire for our partner and should you allow that blessing to find its proper expression you will be closer to enjoying the fullness of what God intends for you. The quick, improper use will not be a longlasting joy. Remember the wedding at Cana - the last wine drawn was the best - a metaphor for the blessings that often come from many years shared in marriage - the deeper the relationship goes the better it can become.
There are plenty of faithful Orthodox women in the world. Sometimes a man will look past such a woman because of worldly ideals about beauty or body shape. However, if what your heart truly longs for is a righteous woman then you will be drawn to a righteous woman - you will be drawn to what you desire.
And if you want a righteous woman to be drawn to you, try to live out the gospel as well as you can - she'll find you. Remember - there are women out there seeking in a husband the virtues you seek in a wife - but ask yourself if such a woman would be attracted to you.
Keep praying. Keep fasting. The body will run amock if you let it, but will curb it's waywardness if you are stern with it and demand it follows your commands.
God bless you.

Thank you Father.

Your wisdom is appreciated.

Women also need to heed your advice as true love will wait. If we put God first in our relationship, then God will bless us. Yes, it takes prayer and fasting to control our passions, but the benefits far outweigh any small inconveniences.

When I was seeking a husband, I asked God to help me. I looked for three signs:
1. I would meet my future husband at a Christian gathering.
2. He would lead me into a deeper relationship with Christ.
3. He would be tall, blue-eyed, and blonde.

All three conditions were met within three months.
What a match-maker we have in Jesus! Amen!!!

Amen. Alleluia.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
Glory forever!
Ἅγιος ὁ Θεός
Ἅγιος ἰσχυρός
Ἅγιος ἀθάνατος
ἐλέησον ἡμας

Offline Kerdy

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #122 on: September 18, 2012, 05:02:52 PM »
From the tone of many of these posts I'm guessing that a number of you are quite young men. Those of us who have reached an older age can verify it all gets easier once the body calms down and biology assumes you've done what you need to do to maintain the human race.
We are not cursed with these desires - God blessed us with a desire for our partner and should you allow that blessing to find its proper expression you will be closer to enjoying the fullness of what God intends for you. The quick, improper use will not be a longlasting joy. Remember the wedding at Cana - the last wine drawn was the best - a metaphor for the blessings that often come from many years shared in marriage - the deeper the relationship goes the better it can become.
There are plenty of faithful Orthodox women in the world. Sometimes a man will look past such a woman because of worldly ideals about beauty or body shape. However, if what your heart truly longs for is a righteous woman then you will be drawn to a righteous woman - you will be drawn to what you desire.
And if you want a righteous woman to be drawn to you, try to live out the gospel as well as you can - she'll find you. Remember - there are women out there seeking in a husband the virtues you seek in a wife - but ask yourself if such a woman would be attracted to you.
Keep praying. Keep fasting. The body will run amock if you let it, but will curb it's waywardness if you are stern with it and demand it follows your commands.
God bless you.

Thank you Father.

Your wisdom is appreciated.

Women also need to heed your advice as true love will wait. If we put God first in our relationship, then God will bless us. Yes, it takes prayer and fasting to control our passions, but the benefits far outweigh any small inconveniences.

When I was seeking a husband, I asked God to help me. I looked for three signs:
1. I would meet my future husband at a Christian gathering.
2. He would lead me into a deeper relationship with Christ.
3. He would be tall, blue-eyed, and blonde.

All three conditions were met within three months.
A very good friend of mine was well into her thirties before she married had a child.  Good example for women I think.  She trusted God.

Offline Shiny

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #123 on: September 18, 2012, 05:13:38 PM »
From the tone of many of these posts I'm guessing that a number of you are quite young men. Those of us who have reached an older age can verify it all gets easier once the body calms down and biology assumes you've done what you need to do to maintain the human race.
We are not cursed with these desires - God blessed us with a desire for our partner and should you allow that blessing to find its proper expression you will be closer to enjoying the fullness of what God intends for you. The quick, improper use will not be a longlasting joy. Remember the wedding at Cana - the last wine drawn was the best - a metaphor for the blessings that often come from many years shared in marriage - the deeper the relationship goes the better it can become.
There are plenty of faithful Orthodox women in the world. Sometimes a man will look past such a woman because of worldly ideals about beauty or body shape. However, if what your heart truly longs for is a righteous woman then you will be drawn to a righteous woman - you will be drawn to what you desire.
And if you want a righteous woman to be drawn to you, try to live out the gospel as well as you can - she'll find you. Remember - there are women out there seeking in a husband the virtues you seek in a wife - but ask yourself if such a woman would be attracted to you.
Keep praying. Keep fasting. The body will run amock if you let it, but will curb it's waywardness if you are stern with it and demand it follows your commands.
God bless you.
Father, bless!

Great post.
“There is your brother, naked, crying, and you stand there confused over the choice of an attractive floor covering.”

– St. Ambrose of Milan

Offline vamrat

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #124 on: September 18, 2012, 05:24:42 PM »
From the tone of many of these posts I'm guessing that a number of you are quite young men. Those of us who have reached an older age can verify it all gets easier once the body calms down and biology assumes you've done what you need to do to maintain the human race.
We are not cursed with these desires - God blessed us with a desire for our partner and should you allow that blessing to find its proper expression you will be closer to enjoying the fullness of what God intends for you. The quick, improper use will not be a longlasting joy. Remember the wedding at Cana - the last wine drawn was the best - a metaphor for the blessings that often come from many years shared in marriage - the deeper the relationship goes the better it can become.
There are plenty of faithful Orthodox women in the world. Sometimes a man will look past such a woman because of worldly ideals about beauty or body shape. However, if what your heart truly longs for is a righteous woman then you will be drawn to a righteous woman - you will be drawn to what you desire.
And if you want a righteous woman to be drawn to you, try to live out the gospel as well as you can - she'll find you. Remember - there are women out there seeking in a husband the virtues you seek in a wife - but ask yourself if such a woman would be attracted to you.
Keep praying. Keep fasting. The body will run amock if you let it, but will curb it's waywardness if you are stern with it and demand it follows your commands.
God bless you.

Thank you Father.

Your wisdom is appreciated.

Women also need to heed your advice as true love will wait. If we put God first in our relationship, then God will bless us. Yes, it takes prayer and fasting to control our passions, but the benefits far outweigh any small inconveniences.

When I was seeking a husband, I asked God to help me. I looked for three signs:
1. I would meet my future husband at a Christian gathering.
2. He would lead me into a deeper relationship with Christ.
3. He would be tall, blue-eyed, and blonde.

All three conditions were met within three months.


Oh Lord, please send me a good Christian wife.  Please let her:
1- Be someone I meet at a Christian gathering, like one of the Serbian festivals so I am drunk enough to be able to fake confidence...
2- Lead me into a deeper relationship with Christ, so we can read excerpts from 1st Corinthians together...
3- Oh, and could her name be Angelina Jolie?  Failing that make her dark haired, dark eyed, strong...um hips and chest...and also be a duplicate of Angelina Jolie.  But, like, make her a lot younger.  I don't want to be hooking up with any 30+ spinsters.  Though, if she was an actress and had that kind of income, I'd be totally grateful.

Amen.

PS - Remember that Christian deaf girl I dated once?  Could this one also be deaf?  Just more so this time?

Amen.
Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt.

Offline vamrat

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #125 on: September 18, 2012, 05:25:26 PM »
From the tone of many of these posts I'm guessing that a number of you are quite young men. Those of us who have reached an older age can verify it all gets easier once the body calms down and biology assumes you've done what you need to do to maintain the human race.
We are not cursed with these desires - God blessed us with a desire for our partner and should you allow that blessing to find its proper expression you will be closer to enjoying the fullness of what God intends for you. The quick, improper use will not be a longlasting joy. Remember the wedding at Cana - the last wine drawn was the best - a metaphor for the blessings that often come from many years shared in marriage - the deeper the relationship goes the better it can become.
There are plenty of faithful Orthodox women in the world. Sometimes a man will look past such a woman because of worldly ideals about beauty or body shape. However, if what your heart truly longs for is a righteous woman then you will be drawn to a righteous woman - you will be drawn to what you desire.
And if you want a righteous woman to be drawn to you, try to live out the gospel as well as you can - she'll find you. Remember - there are women out there seeking in a husband the virtues you seek in a wife - but ask yourself if such a woman would be attracted to you.
Keep praying. Keep fasting. The body will run amock if you let it, but will curb it's waywardness if you are stern with it and demand it follows your commands.
God bless you.

Thank you so much for these wise words. I started the topic because I'm now in my 30's and, at least in NY USA, there are more sightings of bigfoot than virtuous women. They seem astonished and disturbed that I believe in waiting till marriage. I really wonder how the Orthodox will replenish the faithful ! The catholic women don't seem terribly interested in chastity; and really its mostly fundamentalist evangelicals that are, nominally, trying to live chaste. I'm not a bad looking guy (my avatar is me) but I don't have much money or a good job. Still it just seemed like such a rarity I'm glad I've gotten some support and examples here.
I do wonder what the most sexually conservative country is? Sadly, its probably Islamic. Perhaps Poland ?

The only really decent girl I know is Hindu.

----------------

Also, Father, thanks for that.
« Last Edit: September 18, 2012, 05:26:44 PM by vamrat »
Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt.

Offline Dominika

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Re: has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?
« Reply #126 on: September 18, 2012, 05:48:08 PM »
Father Spyridon, thank you for your post. It really gives hope. It's another lesson of trust in God.

I do wonder what the most sexually conservative country is? Sadly, its probably Islamic. Perhaps Poland ?

Poland nowadays absolutely is not so sexually conservative. Only in official talks. What's happenning with teenagers... Better not to comment. Only among practicing Christians (especially those who are in some religious groups or brotherhoods) it's normal to wait with sex until marriage. A lot of Polish change quite frequently sexual partners.

E.g. it's known among my friends that I'm an Orthodox Christian so I want to wait till marriage to have sex, and on the one hand they respect it, but on the other hand it's very strange and unusual for them. Unfortunately, I know it won't be so easy for me to find a man that will want wait with "these things".
Pray for persecuted Christians, especially in Serbian Kosovo and Raška, Egypt and Syria