As many of you know, I teach religion to the kids at my parish. As such, I try to instill in them a sense of morality appropriate to Orthodox Christians.
I have one girl, who just turned 13. For years now she's been trying to be cool, and all she talks about is boys. She had a Facebook account, which I her father made her shut down. Not all Facebook accounts are bad....kids just need to be careful.
Her father is VERY proper....and he even tries to discourage her from listening to songs with nasty lyrics....which would be almost everything these days.
However, this girl talks boys non-stop. In class, I would spend a good 10 minutes explaining that a 12 year old has no business talking about boyfriends and how cool they are, etc. She shouldn't even have a boyfriend. I tried to explain that the only reason for boyfriends is to ultimately marry this "man"....however, at 12 she's a bit young to be getting married, and popping out babies. Yes, I said that. I thought it might gross her out. It didn't. So, then I appealed to her greediness and materialism, and informed her that a 13 year old boy can hardly hold a job....and where are they going to live, he can't even drive her to the movies....etc. Made no impact. My main issue is that her "talking" might influence the other girls...and the boys in class are just loving it. One girl came to me in tears because they were teasing her that she's 13 and never had a boyfriend. I gave her a hug and told her that IF she had one, I would be most upset with her....and she was happy, hugged me and promised me she did not and would not for a while, yet.
When I mentioned this to the mother of the girl with the boyfriend, she giggled and said that when she was her age, boys used to chase her, too....and that by not pressuring the girl to "give up" boys, perhaps she'll be more open with her parents and not "hide" her boys from them.
At that point, I decided to give up trying to influence this girl and let her parents handle it on their own.
So, this same girl was in my VBS class last week. She's now 13 and her big thing was that nowhere in the Bible did God say she's not allowed to have a boyfriend. I replied that nowhere did He say she can have a boyfriend....and again...did the whole boyfriend/husband speech....onto deaf ears...because her rebuttal was that He never said she couldn't.
I didn't have a comeback...because I hope and pray she's not doing the "act"....and is just hanging out and maybe smooching with this boy....otherwise, I would read her the riot act. However, I did ask her to stop with the boyfriend talk, or I would send her home....because I didn't want her corrupting the other girls present. ....yes, I said that, too.
So, today I happened upon one of the girl's Facebook pages, and noticed that this 13 year old had changed her username, but, was still on Facebook....as she used her own face....not a smiley or a puppy as other kids do.
Not only has she disobeyed her father by remaining on Facebook, according to her Wall, she is in a "relationship" with this boy.
This boy was her obsession at last year's VBS. When I asked the kids to write down a prayer...something they really, really wanted....and to pray it every day.....some kids wished parents would have more money to pay bills, others prayed for sick friends, a couple prayed for video games, and she prayed that this exact boy fall in love with her.... So, it seems her prayers worked, because he's posting on her wall, how great she is, how cool she is, and what a good kisser she is. (She's 13!!!!)
OK, I remember being 13....and yes, I remember getting all mooshy around boys....so, maybe I am over-reacting. I just don't want to see our kids get in to trouble.
So, what should I do? Do I tell her parents, especially her father, that she's in a "relationship".....or do I stay out of their lives...as it's really none of my business....other than I care for all of them....and only wish them them the best.
I love the whole family, including this girl, and don't want to come off as a tattletale, who is just sticking my nose in their business.
I was going to let sleeping dogs lie, but, then thought if this were my kid, and she was doing something I disapproved of, I would want to know, so I could guide her. No? ....but, maybe the parents are aware....and have no issues with her behavior.
What should I do?