However I know that I am not a good person and commit many sins. I want to be taken away from this state yet I can never seem to be free of doing what is not proper. Sometimes I will lose my temper for no reason.
This thread is not started to make me have people say "Do not worry". My question is, what can be done to make me less of an evil person?
And don't do other thing - don't say you are not good person. Do you know what does "Ho Diabolos" mean? It means "The Accuser". Whenever you accuse yourself of something, remember this. Jesus does not say "you are evil", he says "listen to Me". Look at this icon:
Whenever I feel guilty or sad, I see Him, calm and unmoved, saying "listen to My teachings".
Whenever I feel happy, I see Him, calm and unmoved, saying "listen to My teachings".
Christianity is about peace, not high or low self-esteem. God is a "Friend of man", not an "accuser".
You say you often loose your temper. We all do it, we can't even tell when it happened. But why it happened? Because something as little as a matchfire exploded into a blaze, for someone poured a galon of gasoline on it. And this is satan. He tells you, "how does he/she dare to be like this to you?", or simply "do it, you have to, you are only human, God will understand". It's the same inner voice that says after, "look what you did, you pathetic shadow of a man. You don't deserve anything good". Sometimes this inner voice is even more cynical, saying "degrade yourself before God, maybe he'll forgive you a bit". From challenger to judge, sounds familiar, isn't it. Christianity is not about this. Jesus did not say "look at you", but "look at Me". Remember this. Stop asking yourself a question "where am I in all of this", start instead another one - "where are You in all of this".
Orthodox Sacrament of Confession is not about telling "I'm awful, because this, this and this happened". It's about seeking an answer "what happened, and why did it happen?"
Remember one more thing - I am not a priest, I am an internet user, so please go to a local priest and talk with him.