Author Topic: Still struggling with lust and sexual sin  (Read 2753 times)

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Offline GTAsoldier

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Still struggling with lust and sexual sin
« on: July 25, 2012, 02:43:30 PM »
Peace, everybody.

I would appreciate prayers at this time. I'm still struggling with sexual sin and lust. I've often relapsed out of anger, boredom, and because I wanted to. But it's leading me nowhere and I'm trying not to give in to the temptation so easily. Sometimes I often go for a week or two abstaining from these sins only to fall again. It's getting me weary. Thank God I don't make any promises on stuff like this because nobody is perfect.

I know nobody is perfect and everyone slips up often. I've come to accept that fact. Please pray on my behalf as I try to make things right.

God help me,

GTA
God be merciful to us sinners.

Quote from: IoanC
the best way of conveying God's love to people is through your own presence and deeds.
No longer posting on this forum. Thanks to all the helpful people who inspired me. God bless.

Offline WeldeMikael

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Re: Still struggling with lust and sexual sin
« Reply #1 on: July 25, 2012, 02:59:13 PM »
Lord have mercy.

Offline HabteSelassie

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Re: Still struggling with lust and sexual sin
« Reply #2 on: July 25, 2012, 03:12:34 PM »
Greetings in that Divine and Most Precious Name of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

Repentance is a process, which is why God gives us the gift of Eternal Life, that me may find enough time eventually to come into pure repentance.  If God were to just force our consciousness away from Sin, we would be robots, and God can't have a love affair or relationship with robots.  God allows us free-will to be ourselves, and our free-will includes our passions and lusts.  God acknowledges our inherent weaknesses, which is why He has compassion, and sends us Grace.  If God were so insistent on punishing sin, we would drop dead at any instance with the retribution and divine punishment of Zeus' lightning bolts striking us down!  That being said, we have to be careful how hard we are on ourselves as we live through this process.  For example, focus on the positive, on the growth, and the change, on the day by day getting closer to God.  If you focus on the Sin, the Devil wins, because Sin divides us and temporarily distances our awareness of God.  When we are focussing on our sins and their weight, we are not seeing the goodness of God in our lives, in the hopelessness of grief we feel forlorn and abandoned even.  This becomes a self-reinforcing cycle of more and more sin.  Just like King David went from lust, to adultery, to murder!  To avoid Sin, we have to hope on God, and be careful how harshly we condemn ourselves.  Repentance involves self-judgement, true, but not necessarily self-condemnation, because in reality, the human reflex reaction to pressure is to rebel.  If we pressure ourselves to highly, we will only rebel against ourselves in the long run.

I highly recommend this book by His Holiness Pope Sheounda III of Alexandria (peace be upon him) titled "The Life of Repentance and Purity" where HH discusses in detail the process of repentance across the long arc of our lives, and also describes how we must cooperate in synergy with God by GRACE to be healed from sin over time.  It means being honest with ourselves, accepting our limitations, and glorifying our accomplishments with God each new day. 

Always remember that if we find ourselves in Sin, we can stop, and Sin is not so overpowering that is negates the good in our lives.  Further, human beings are inherent control freaks, sometimes our desire NOT to Sin is as much a matter of sinful pride as it is sincere repentance, so we have to also give God the opportunity to change our lives by His efforts, and not our own force of will. 

Quote
Even if you do not proceed towards the salvation of your soul, God who loves, proceeds with His grace to save you; He is the one who begins. God only asks you to respond to His voice within you. He wants you to work with Him when He starts to work in you. He wishes that when you hear His voice you do not harden your heart. Hence the visit of grace will lead you to repentance, as it led many. The visits of grace give every sinner a burst of hope. He is assured that God loves him, and that He will care for him, and He will search for him just like the Good Shepherd searched for His lost sheep. If, as a result, there are no feelings in the heart of this sinner, to lead him to repentance, then God will plant in his heart these feelings by the work of His grace. He will prepare all of the means which make his heart move towards repentance.
Life of Repentance and Purity

stay blessed,
habte selassie
"Yet stand aloof from stupid questionings and geneologies and strifes and fightings about law, for they are without benefit and vain." Titus 3:10

Offline GTAsoldier

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Re: Still struggling with lust and sexual sin
« Reply #3 on: July 25, 2012, 03:48:40 PM »
Thank you Habte & Welde.
God be merciful to us sinners.

Quote from: IoanC
the best way of conveying God's love to people is through your own presence and deeds.
No longer posting on this forum. Thanks to all the helpful people who inspired me. God bless.

Offline Maximum Bob

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Re: Still struggling with lust and sexual sin
« Reply #4 on: July 26, 2012, 01:05:41 AM »
Lord have mercy on GTA.
Psalm 37:23 The Lord guides a man safely in the way he should go.

Prov. 3: 5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.

Offline Gebre Menfes Kidus

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Re: Still struggling with lust and sexual sin
« Reply #5 on: July 26, 2012, 01:36:41 AM »
"Lord have mercy."



Selam
"There are two great tragedies: one is to live a life ruled by the passions, and the other is to live a passionless life."
Selam, +GMK+

Offline GabrieltheCelt

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Re: Still struggling with lust and sexual sin
« Reply #6 on: July 26, 2012, 01:46:39 AM »
Lord, have mercy!
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Offline Ikonos

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Re: Still struggling with lust and sexual sin
« Reply #7 on: July 26, 2012, 03:27:18 PM »
Try Vitex agnus-castus.
In ancient times it was believed to be an anaphrodisiac. At the end of the thirteenth century John Trevisa reports of it "the herbe agnus-castus is always grene, and the flowre therof is namly callyd Agnus Castus, for wyth smel and vse it maketh men chaste as a lombe".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vitex_agnus-castus

A creative hobby may help to sublimate the creative aspect e.g. basketweaving, Icon making.

Exercises such as prostrations may help.

Daily Prayer of the heart is an absolute essential requirement to tame this demon.

Remenber Samson lost his strength after Dahlila cut off his hair. (Excess testosterone is converted to DHT).
« Last Edit: July 26, 2012, 03:29:02 PM by Ikonos »
In a fallen state of captivity, I seek to exchange Pearls of Wisdom with the few repentant Philokalists who roam this domain.

Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Still struggling with lust and sexual sin
« Reply #8 on: July 26, 2012, 03:28:10 PM »
Lord have mercy!
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Offline marigold

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Re: Still struggling with lust and sexual sin
« Reply #9 on: July 26, 2012, 06:42:33 PM »
Lord, have mercy on GTAsoldier.

Offline Hiwot

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Re: Still struggling with lust and sexual sin
« Reply #10 on: July 26, 2012, 10:40:46 PM »
Lord have mercy!
To God be the Glory in all things! Amen!

Only pray for me, that God would give me both inward and outward strength, that I may not only speak, but truly will; and that I may not merely be called a Christian, but really be found to be one. St.Ignatius of Antioch.Epistle to the Romans.

Offline Menbere Mariam

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Re: Still struggling with lust and sexual sin
« Reply #11 on: July 27, 2012, 10:37:52 AM »
You may want to listen to this teaching http://orthodoxsermons.org/sermons/boundaries-part-5 by Fr. Anthony Messeh.

May the Lord grant you the strength necessary to defeat this weakness.

Offline vamrat

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Re: Still struggling with lust and sexual sin
« Reply #12 on: July 27, 2012, 11:14:01 AM »
God be with you GTA.  This is a hard one to fight.

Thanks for the post Habte.  I'll probably be referring back to that from time to time.
Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt.

Offline LewisBosch

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Re: Still struggling with lust and sexual sin
« Reply #13 on: December 09, 2012, 09:29:11 AM »
I'm normally a lurker, and out of frustration, I searched for "lust" and finding this thread, I want to thank and commend HabteSelassie for his post.

Offline Nathanael

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Re: Still struggling with lust and sexual sin
« Reply #14 on: December 09, 2012, 10:13:01 AM »
Quote
Sometimes I often go for a week or two abstaining from these sins only to fall again

I tell you from experience:

-If these sins are connected with pornography, then reduce radically your time, which you spend on Internet in general!!!!! (that was the main cause in my case) To spend too much time is just laziness, in this way you loose your whole mindfulness and you cannot even fight against these thoughts. In general I hate to spend too much time on Internet, you loose so many gifts by doing this. I could do so many good works instead of that.
-If you fall in such sins, don't be surprised. What else can you expect from yourself?
-And CONFESS these sins regularly and immediately after you committed them, to your priest, spiritual father (that helped me very much!!). He'll understand your struggle.
-have a talk with your spiritual father, priest. So that he may find out what is the cause of these temptations. (Maybe you're too proud, maybe your're too lazy, maybe you eat too much,..etc.) So that he can give you advises what to do against it.
« Last Edit: December 09, 2012, 10:21:44 AM by Nathanael »
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Offline Karaleighmum

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Re: Still struggling with lust and sexual sin
« Reply #15 on: February 17, 2013, 11:59:31 PM »
Greetings in that Divine and Most Precious Name of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

Repentance is a process, which is why God gives us the gift of Eternal Life, that me may find enough time eventually to come into pure repentance.  If God were to just force our consciousness away from Sin, we would be robots, and God can't have a love affair or relationship with robots.  God allows us free-will to be ourselves, and our free-will includes our passions and lusts.  God acknowledges our inherent weaknesses, which is why He has compassion, and sends us Grace.  If God were so insistent on punishing sin, we would drop dead at any instance with the retribution and divine punishment of Zeus' lightning bolts striking us down!  That being said, we have to be careful how hard we are on ourselves as we live through this process.  For example, focus on the positive, on the growth, and the change, on the day by day getting closer to God.  If you focus on the Sin, the Devil wins, because Sin divides us and temporarily distances our awareness of God.  When we are focussing on our sins and their weight, we are not seeing the goodness of God in our lives, in the hopelessness of grief we feel forlorn and abandoned even.  This becomes a self-reinforcing cycle of more and more sin.  Just like King David went from lust, to adultery, to murder!  To avoid Sin, we have to hope on God, and be careful how harshly we condemn ourselves.  Repentance involves self-judgement, true, but not necessarily self-condemnation, because in reality, the human reflex reaction to pressure is to rebel.  If we pressure ourselves to highly, we will only rebel against ourselves in the long run.

I highly recommend this book by His Holiness Pope Sheounda III of Alexandria (peace be upon him) titled "The Life of Repentance and Purity" where HH discusses in detail the process of repentance across the long arc of our lives, and also describes how we must cooperate in synergy with God by GRACE to be healed from sin over time.  It means being honest with ourselves, accepting our limitations, and glorifying our accomplishments with God each new day. 

Always remember that if we find ourselves in Sin, we can stop, and Sin is not so overpowering that is negates the good in our lives.  Further, human beings are inherent control freaks, sometimes our desire NOT to Sin is as much a matter of sinful pride as it is sincere repentance, so we have to also give God the opportunity to change our lives by His efforts, and not our own force of will. 

Quote
Even if you do not proceed towards the salvation of your soul, God who loves, proceeds with His grace to save you; He is the one who begins. God only asks you to respond to His voice within you. He wants you to work with Him when He starts to work in you. He wishes that when you hear His voice you do not harden your heart. Hence the visit of grace will lead you to repentance, as it led many. The visits of grace give every sinner a burst of hope. He is assured that God loves him, and that He will care for him, and He will search for him just like the Good Shepherd searched for His lost sheep. If, as a result, there are no feelings in the heart of this sinner, to lead him to repentance, then God will plant in his heart these feelings by the work of His grace. He will prepare all of the means which make his heart move towards repentance.
Life of Repentance and Purity

stay blessed,
habte selassie

I benefitted greatly. I share the same problem and am so grateful people are not judgmental all the time. God bless

Offline Karaleighmum

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Re: Still struggling with lust and sexual sin
« Reply #16 on: February 18, 2013, 12:00:32 AM »
You may want to listen to this teaching http://orthodoxsermons.org/sermons/boundaries-part-5 by Fr. Anthony Messeh.

May the Lord grant you the strength necessary to defeat this weakness.

I love Fr. Anthony Messah and his sermons. what a blessing, will be listening to this series