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Author Topic: My life is a spiraling black abyss  (Read 3423 times) Average Rating: 0
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« on: June 25, 2012, 08:44:53 PM »

And you can all take in part of mocking and ridiculing me.
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« Reply #1 on: June 25, 2012, 08:45:42 PM »

Racist.
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« Reply #2 on: June 25, 2012, 08:47:23 PM »

Black isn't a color
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« Reply #3 on: June 25, 2012, 08:56:20 PM »

Greetings in that Divine and Most Precious Name of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

And you can all take in part of mocking and ridiculing me.
I'll pass..

Cheer up Smiley

stay blessed,
habte selassie
« Last Edit: June 25, 2012, 09:01:30 PM by HabteSelassie » Logged

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« Reply #4 on: June 25, 2012, 08:57:43 PM »

I'll cheer up when I can do some breaking up.

EDIT: ROFL I totally forgot that Family Guy scene, that was brilliant and well needed. Thank you.
« Last Edit: June 25, 2012, 09:04:44 PM by Achronos » Logged

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« Reply #5 on: June 25, 2012, 09:03:16 PM »

Breaking up is hard to do.
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« Reply #6 on: June 25, 2012, 09:05:22 PM »

Breaking up is hard to do.
It is, especially when the other person would be homeless if I did it.
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« Reply #7 on: June 25, 2012, 09:06:30 PM »

Breaking up is hard to do.
It is, especially when the other person would be homeless if I did it.

Give her a week.


Wait, she'd just steal everything.
« Last Edit: June 25, 2012, 09:06:50 PM by Aindriú » Logged


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« Reply #8 on: June 25, 2012, 09:07:30 PM »

Breaking up is hard to do.
It is, especially when the other person would be homeless if I did it.

Give her a week.


Wait, she'd just steal everything.
It's already been a week.

And I'm about to ask JamesRottnek what cigs he smokes so I can start.
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« Reply #9 on: June 25, 2012, 09:09:04 PM »

Breaking up is hard to do.
It is, especially when the other person would be homeless if I did it.

Is she economically dependent on you? Or is there a lease she can't get out of?
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« Reply #10 on: June 25, 2012, 09:13:30 PM »

Breaking up is hard to do.
It is, especially when the other person would be homeless if I did it.

Is she economically dependent on you? Or is there a lease she can't get out of?
Well she was "forced" into my care after being kicked out of her place of residence because her caregiver refused to let her go to a critical doctor's appointment to get refills on meds when somehow watching the caregiver's kids that day was of utmost importance...when there is an older sister of those kids that could have stayed home and watched them for 2 hours.

Yes it is utterly insane and unreasonable, there really is no more to the story than that.

I refuse to let her sleep in her car, eventhough she insists.

And get this, the day this happens was the day I was going to end it. Now I got this weight and if I was to end it, it would haunt me for a long time no knowing if she is doing ok or not being on her own.

Life sucks baawwwwwwww poor me, I did this to myself of course. But I needed a place to vent. A diary just doesn't suffice. Blah blah blah.

I love getting into these messes with these crazy girls
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« Reply #11 on: June 25, 2012, 09:16:00 PM »

Quote from: Achronos

I love getting into these messes with these crazy girls

And you love complaining about it.

Just take a cold shower and get a clue.
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« Reply #12 on: June 25, 2012, 09:17:56 PM »

Quote from: Achronos

I love getting into these messes with these crazy girls

And you love complaining about it.

Just take a cold shower and get a clue.
Haha amazing.

The rest of my other girlfriends are much more harsher than you, biro.
« Last Edit: June 25, 2012, 09:18:20 PM by Achronos » Logged

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« Reply #13 on: June 25, 2012, 09:18:37 PM »

Breaking up is hard to do.
It is, especially when the other person would be homeless if I did it.

Is she economically dependent on you? Or is there a lease she can't get out of?
Well she was "forced" into my care after being kicked out of her place of residence because her caregiver refused to let her go to a critical doctor's appointment to get refills on meds when somehow watching the caregiver's kids that day was of utmost importance...when there is an older sister of those kids that could have stayed home and watched them for 2 hours.

Yes it is utterly insane and unreasonable, there really is no more to the story than that.

I refuse to let her sleep in her car, eventhough she insists.

And get this, the day this happens was the day I was going to end it. Now I got this weight and if I was to end it, it would haunt me for a long time no knowing if she is doing ok or not being on her own.

Life sucks baawwwwwwww poor me, I did this to myself of course. But I needed a place to vent. A diary just doesn't suffice. Blah blah blah.

I love getting into these messes with these crazy girls

I'm afraid I'm coming to the story late and missed the history. Is this a former girlfriend? You say she had caregivers? Is she in need of medical help? Sorry, I missed the backstory.

God be with you and may a solution work out soon. You may have a "wonderful" opportunity here to exercise patience, something your body needs anyway. Barring that, write a novel or take up playing the bagpipes.
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« Reply #14 on: June 25, 2012, 09:19:57 PM »

Quote from: Achronos

I love getting into these messes with these crazy girls

And you love complaining about it.

Just take a cold shower and get a clue.
Haha amazing.

The rest of my other girlfriends are much more harsher than you, biro.

Sorry I bothered.
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« Reply #15 on: June 25, 2012, 09:23:25 PM »

Breaking up is hard to do.
It is, especially when the other person would be homeless if I did it.

Is she economically dependent on you? Or is there a lease she can't get out of?
Well she was "forced" into my care after being kicked out of her place of residence because her caregiver refused to let her go to a critical doctor's appointment to get refills on meds when somehow watching the caregiver's kids that day was of utmost importance...when there is an older sister of those kids that could have stayed home and watched them for 2 hours.

Yes it is utterly insane and unreasonable, there really is no more to the story than that.

I refuse to let her sleep in her car, eventhough she insists.

And get this, the day this happens was the day I was going to end it. Now I got this weight and if I was to end it, it would haunt me for a long time no knowing if she is doing ok or not being on her own.

Life sucks baawwwwwwww poor me, I did this to myself of course. But I needed a place to vent. A diary just doesn't suffice. Blah blah blah.

I love getting into these messes with these crazy girls

I'm afraid I'm coming to the story late and missed the history. Is this a former girlfriend? You say she had caregivers? Is she in need of medical help? Sorry, I missed the backstory.

God be with you and may a solution work out soon. You may have a "wonderful" opportunity here to exercise patience, something your body needs anyway. Barring that, write a novel or take up playing the bagpipes.
There's really no history.

Achronos' Guide to Relationships:

1.) Find a really attractive girlfriend
2.) Spend a few months infatuated with new girlfriend
3.) Gloss over any potential red flags or issues
4.) Once infatuation ends, notice all the red flags and issues
5.) Be miserable for months until girlfriend pulls the trigger ending the relationship because I've been so distant because of Step 4
6.) Be sad for 2 weeks by the loss of attachment
7.) Be somewhat ok after
8.) Start from Step 1 again.

Call this hubrism but I have a messianic complex when it comes to women. Somehow I am drawn to those that need "saving" but ending up being nothing but anchors.

But I have much more embarrasing stuff done than what's going at the moment.

I'll get a normal girl one day when I stop being the knight in shining armor.
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« Reply #16 on: June 25, 2012, 09:26:35 PM »

Quote from: Achronos

I love getting into these messes with these crazy girls

And you love complaining about it.

Just take a cold shower and get a clue.
Haha amazing.

The rest of my other girlfriends are much more harsher than you, biro.

Sorry I bothered.
Nah I appreciate it. I need to hear it, believe me I have been berated constantly as of late over this whole thing. It just reinforces the fact that I am a complete failure when it comes to doing what I want without feeling remorse or guilt.
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« Reply #17 on: June 25, 2012, 09:27:03 PM »

No, you won't.  Your 'picker' is broken.

I'll get a normal girl one day when I stop being the knight in shining armor.
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« Reply #18 on: June 25, 2012, 09:27:32 PM »

No, you won't.  Your 'picker' is broken.

I'll get a normal girl one day when I stop being the knight in shining armor.
There is something wrong with me then, Father.
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« Reply #19 on: June 25, 2012, 09:29:20 PM »

Based on what you've described, yes.

No, you won't.  Your 'picker' is broken.

I'll get a normal girl one day when I stop being the knight in shining armor.
There is something wrong with me then, Father.
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« Reply #20 on: June 25, 2012, 09:30:39 PM »

No, you won't.  Your 'picker' is broken.

I'll get a normal girl one day when I stop being the knight in shining armor.

She will find you when you stop looking and just focus on getting your life together. At least that's what I hope for myself. You could always volunteer for the parish babushki and maybe one of them will set you up with her granddaughter.
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« Reply #21 on: June 25, 2012, 09:42:19 PM »

The funny part about that, Shanghaiski, is I wasn't even looking when I met my current girlfriend. Honest to God. I was doing just great as a catechumen, having a great time with friends, etc. The last thing on my mind was actually dating.

I was devestated by not the last gf, but the one before that and it really messed up my head. A month after (yes incredibly dumb because I needed to heal) and I started dating this other girl but she was in Greece for the most part but we ended up seperating because of "spiritual differences"

I'm quite content once this is over remaining single for quite a long time. I'm exhausted but again that's my own fault and there is no one to blame here but myself.

Sorry I just needed to get this off my chest and I know this site isn't a therapy forum or a psychologist but your opinions are of great interest to me and I do take it to heart.
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« Reply #22 on: June 25, 2012, 09:44:56 PM »

Well, if it's any comfort, many of us here do the same stupid things over and over again. At least you're not posting rehashed heresy on an Orthodox Internet forum. You're not so bad off.
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« Reply #23 on: June 25, 2012, 09:47:07 PM »

Quote from: Achronos

I love getting into these messes with these crazy girls

And you love complaining about it.

Just take a cold shower and get a clue.

SNAP.

You are gold tonight.

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« Reply #24 on: June 25, 2012, 09:53:04 PM »

What if you dump her but still let her live with you?
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« Reply #25 on: June 25, 2012, 09:53:56 PM »

What if you dump her but still let her live with you?
LOL, James I appreciate the humor.
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« Reply #26 on: June 25, 2012, 09:54:48 PM »

You did say she was hot?
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« Reply #27 on: June 25, 2012, 09:58:04 PM »

What if you dump her but still let her live with you?
LOL, James I appreciate the humor.

Okay. Well just hold out for a few weeks until she gets a new place then dump her.
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« Reply #28 on: June 25, 2012, 10:02:23 PM »

You did say she was hot?
Si.

What if you dump her but still let her live with you?
LOL, James I appreciate the humor.

Okay. Well just hold out for a few weeks until she gets a new place then dump her.

What new place? She barely can afford to eat. We just went to get her an application for Section 8 housing.

Time until a voucher comes to use? Oh 6 months - 5 years.

Her boss might be able to get her a place to room for awhile and then her really good friend is moving in town so she might go there too.

That is to say it lasts this long.

Then the cold showers to come.
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« Reply #29 on: June 25, 2012, 10:11:13 PM »

You did say she was hot?
Si.

What if you dump her but still let her live with you?
LOL, James I appreciate the humor.

Okay. Well just hold out for a few weeks until she gets a new place then dump her.

What new place? She barely can afford to eat. We just went to get her an application for Section 8 housing.

Time until a voucher comes to use? Oh 6 months - 5 years.

Her boss might be able to get her a place to room for awhile and then her really good friend is moving in town so she might go there too.

That is to say it lasts this long.

Then the cold showers to come.

I have been known to house the houseless . . .
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« Reply #30 on: June 25, 2012, 10:35:05 PM »

Man, that is a tough situation. I apologize that I don't have any witty quip to make you laugh, but I'll be prayin for you.
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« Reply #31 on: June 25, 2012, 10:40:17 PM »

Achronos, it sounds like you are in an awful situation.  I have no advice whatsoever, but you have my prayers for what it's worth.
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« Reply #32 on: June 25, 2012, 10:48:37 PM »

Did I say how much of an affect she is having on my mental health as of late? I think I'm suffering from depression yet again.

No I don't ask for a pity party, but just something I'm reminded of.

I dread coming home now
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« Reply #33 on: June 25, 2012, 10:51:40 PM »

I think you should be honest. It isn't really fair to her if she's really into the relationship and you aren't.
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« Reply #34 on: June 25, 2012, 10:53:48 PM »

I think you should be honest. It isn't really fair to her if she's really into the relationship and you aren't.
And believe me I know that and that's also what is digging in my soul. The problem is where would she go? How is she going to survive on a part time job?

I feel as though I have some responsiblity in the matter or maybe I don't because we aren't married.

I just can't imagine the guilt. I would be sure God would punish me until I'm dead for it.
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« Reply #35 on: June 26, 2012, 04:40:55 AM »

No such thing as a "normal" girl (or man). We're all screwed up brother. Those that think they're normal are usually the ones with the most issues. Take a break from relationships for a while and seek your joy in Christ (easier said than done, I know). I learned these things the hard way, believe me. The savior complex is strong in many of us, and it's difficult to eradicate. It's common to women also, as many women are drawn to screwed up men because they think they can fix them. There are no easy answers. Matters of the heart are difficult. There is no formula for success. Cling to Christ and the rest will follow. Sorry to hear about your struggles my friend.


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« Reply #36 on: June 26, 2012, 05:07:42 AM »

Lord have mercy on you both.
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« Reply #37 on: June 26, 2012, 09:26:02 AM »

(Even us "normal" girls can appreciate a knight in shining armor. Although of course, it can be can debated whether or not I'm normal, I told my husband recently that I was certain that he was capable of and would take care of me/protect me if necessary. Though I'm pretty self-reliant/independant and didn't think I would ever need it!
A week later I fell and broke my right arm and it's now immobilized in a splint. (Yes, I'm typing one-handed!)
And he has taken good care of me. )

On the practical side, there is a lot of help for people in a situation like your ex-gf, at least where I live. Do you know what programs are available or organizations there are in your area?
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« Reply #38 on: June 28, 2012, 01:53:04 AM »

Praying.
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« Reply #39 on: June 28, 2012, 09:51:30 AM »

I think you should be honest. It isn't really fair to her if she's really into the relationship and you aren't.
And believe me I know that and that's also what is digging in my soul. The problem is where would she go? How is she going to survive on a part time job?

I feel as though I have some responsiblity in the matter or maybe I don't because we aren't married.

I just can't imagine the guilt. I would be sure God would punish me until I'm dead for it.


Lord have mercy on us!

She is not your child! If you can afford it, find a place, pay her 1st month’s rent and give her some cash for food….ect. Then, ask her forgiveness and confess to your Spiritual father so that you won’t feel guilty….
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« Reply #40 on: June 28, 2012, 11:06:52 AM »

Well that sucks. Been there. Sorta. Well not really. But yeah really. Anyway, that sucks.
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« Reply #41 on: June 28, 2012, 11:20:26 AM »

What if you dump her but still let her live with you?
LOL, James I appreciate the humor.

I know at least two people who dumped their SOs and still lived with them.

It was weird visiting.

I tried it once just out of stubborness (I wasn't leaving and she was just biding her time until she could move to FL).  I lasted about two weeks before I couldn't take it anymore and slept on my brother's and parents' floors until she finally moved out.  Then I had to live in that empty house for two months until the lease was up.

« Last Edit: June 28, 2012, 11:21:32 AM by Schultz » Logged

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« Reply #42 on: June 28, 2012, 12:23:25 PM »

Quote from: Achronos

I love getting into these messes with these crazy girls

And you love complaining about it.

Just take a cold shower and get a clue.
Haha amazing.

The rest of my other girlfriends are much more harsher than you, biro.
Have you seen "The War of the Roses" on living together post bliss?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ebv3i_9Ltc
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« Reply #43 on: June 28, 2012, 12:25:23 PM »

Breaking up is hard to do.
It is, especially when the other person would be homeless if I did it.

Is she economically dependent on you? Or is there a lease she can't get out of?
Well she was "forced" into my care after being kicked out of her place of residence because her caregiver refused to let her go to a critical doctor's appointment to get refills on meds when somehow watching the caregiver's kids that day was of utmost importance...when there is an older sister of those kids that could have stayed home and watched them for 2 hours.

Yes it is utterly insane and unreasonable, there really is no more to the story than that.

I refuse to let her sleep in her car, eventhough she insists.

And get this, the day this happens was the day I was going to end it. Now I got this weight and if I was to end it, it would haunt me for a long time no knowing if she is doing ok or not being on her own.

Life sucks baawwwwwwww poor me, I did this to myself of course. But I needed a place to vent. A diary just doesn't suffice. Blah blah blah.

I love getting into these messes with these crazy girls

I'm afraid I'm coming to the story late and missed the history. Is this a former girlfriend? You say she had caregivers? Is she in need of medical help? Sorry, I missed the backstory.

God be with you and may a solution work out soon. You may have a "wonderful" opportunity here to exercise patience, something your body needs anyway. Barring that, write a novel or take up playing the bagpipes.
There's really no history.

Achronos' Guide to Relationships:

1.) Find a really attractive girlfriend
2.) Spend a few months infatuated with new girlfriend
3.) Gloss over any potential red flags or issues
4.) Once infatuation ends, notice all the red flags and issues
5.) Be miserable for months until girlfriend pulls the trigger ending the relationship because I've been so distant because of Step 4
6.) Be sad for 2 weeks by the loss of attachment
7.) Be somewhat ok after
8.) Start from Step 1 again.

Call this hubrism but I have a messianic complex when it comes to women. Somehow I am drawn to those that need "saving" but ending up being nothing but anchors.

But I have much more embarrasing stuff done than what's going at the moment.

I'll get a normal girl one day when I stop being the knight in shining armor.
GET OUT OF THE SAVIOR BUSINESS ASAP!!!!!
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« Reply #44 on: June 28, 2012, 01:32:44 PM »

My advice is for you to take your butt over to the caregivers parents whatever and play the ref and take her stuff back there tell them your not getting into this anymore your done with the games hers and there's and drop her right there at home and walk away.
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