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Author Topic: Words of Encouragement & Comfort?  (Read 651 times) Average Rating: 0
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JamesR
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« on: June 22, 2012, 02:32:10 AM »

Well, my Baptism is this Saturday and I am really nervous, anxious, excited yet afraid all at the same time. On top of all of this, there are some more issues arising with my mother which I knew would happen. Recently she has been making it very clear to me how she disapproves of my Baptism and thinks that I am getting it done for the wrong reason. She asked me why I want to be Baptised, and my response was 'To become a part of the Church; the New Covenant, God's people' and she misinterpreted me, took it the wrong way and went total Evangelical with how my purpose should be to 'express my love for Jesus, not join a Church'. I'm not sure where that came from, but, I hate how she never understands my views or responses. As if expressing your love to Jesus is mutually exclusive to becoming a part of His Church. Why does she separate the two? Anyhow, she does not approve of it at all, yet, for some reason, she is still going to be attending this Saturday and I have to say that I am even more nervous than before. She has already very rudely made it clear how she disapproves of my decision, so why would I even want her to attend? It is just going to add more stress to me worrying about what she must be thinking while it is happening.

Why does she hate my conversion so much? Another strange thing that she told me was that I should consider myself lucky because after me, she is not allowing any of her younger children to convert to a different religion until they are adults. In a sense, I feel like I screwed everything up for my younger siblings now. What if they ever want to convert to Orthodoxy when they become older? I may have ruined it by causing my mother to adopt such an anti-conversion attitude hostile to Orthodoxy.

I know that blessed is my reward in Heaven for awknowledging God over my mother who has been holding me back, and that I should just take her disapproval like a man and focus on God, but I'm not entirely capable. I still love her as my mother. We still had pretty crappy lives together and crappy situations bring people closer. I still see that poor young girl who was abused by her family, who had me at fifteen and raised me the best she could and absolutely loved me. I just want her to be happy for me and I want to make her happy. I know that I have to make decisions for myself being that I'm older now and God comes first, but deep down I still want to make my mother happy. I've tried explaining myself to her before but she never listens or understands.

What do I do?
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« Reply #1 on: June 22, 2012, 04:39:34 AM »

Dear brother,

I am so sorry to hear about your struggles, but I rejoice in the glorious news of your upcoming Baptism! I don't think any convert to Orthodoxy has had an easy time of it. Satan throws many obstacles in our way, trying to deter us from this Holy Sacrament whereby we enter into God's true Church. So, try to see all of these things as spiritual obstacles and remember the words of St. Paul who said, "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." [Ephesians 6:12] So your mother is not the enemy, even though her words and actions may seem to be in opposition to you at the moment. And I'm sure that you know that her actions stem from true love and concern for you, even if she doesn't understand.

By all means press forward with your Baptism. Be grateful that your mother is attending even though she disagrees with your decision. Go out of your way to express to her how much it means to you that she is willing to attend. Express to her your gratitude for giving you a Christian foundation that made it possible for you to eventually find your way to Orthodoxy. Trust that God will open her heart during your Baptism to see the beauty and truth of the spritual home you are now entering. Maybe you could write your mom a letter expressing these things to her, telling her how much you love her and that your Baptism is in no way a slight against her.

Also, do not worry about any negative effect that your Baptism will have on your siblings. That is a lie from satan. He will use guilt and manipulation to deter us from the right path. God is in control of all things, and your siblings will in no way be harmed by your Holy Baptism.

Rejoice in the Lord always!


Peace to you.


Selam
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« Reply #2 on: June 22, 2012, 09:22:13 AM »

I still love her as my mother. We still had pretty crappy lives together and crappy situations bring people closer. I still see that poor young girl who was abused by her family, who had me at fifteen and raised me the best she could and absolutely loved me. I just want her to be happy for me and I want to make her happy.

Tell her this, and give her a hug, and tell her that you are so grateful that God has blessed you with a mother who loves you so much that she would even attend your baptism which she disaproves of.
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« Reply #3 on: June 22, 2012, 10:25:03 AM »

Well, my Baptism is this Saturday and I am really nervous, anxious, excited yet afraid all at the same time. On top of all of this, there are some more issues arising with my mother which I knew would happen. Recently she has been making it very clear to me how she disapproves of my Baptism and thinks that I am getting it done for the wrong reason. She asked me why I want to be Baptised, and my response was 'To become a part of the Church; the New Covenant, God's people' and she misinterpreted me, took it the wrong way and went total Evangelical with how my purpose should be to 'express my love for Jesus, not join a Church'. I'm not sure where that came from, but, I hate how she never understands my views or responses. As if expressing your love to Jesus is mutually exclusive to becoming a part of His Church. Why does she separate the two? Anyhow, she does not approve of it at all, yet, for some reason, she is still going to be attending this Saturday and I have to say that I am even more nervous than before. She has already very rudely made it clear how she disapproves of my decision, so why would I even want her to attend? It is just going to add more stress to me worrying about what she must be thinking while it is happening.

Why does she hate my conversion so much? Another strange thing that she told me was that I should consider myself lucky because after me, she is not allowing any of her younger children to convert to a different religion until they are adults. In a sense, I feel like I screwed everything up for my younger siblings now. What if they ever want to convert to Orthodoxy when they become older? I may have ruined it by causing my mother to adopt such an anti-conversion attitude hostile to Orthodoxy.

I know that blessed is my reward in Heaven for awknowledging God over my mother who has been holding me back, and that I should just take her disapproval like a man and focus on God, but I'm not entirely capable. I still love her as my mother. We still had pretty crappy lives together and crappy situations bring people closer. I still see that poor young girl who was abused by her family, who had me at fifteen and raised me the best she could and absolutely loved me. I just want her to be happy for me and I want to make her happy. I know that I have to make decisions for myself being that I'm older now and God comes first, but deep down I still want to make my mother happy. I've tried explaining myself to her before but she never listens or understands.

What do I do?

Don`t put to much stress into it.Your mother is probably scared because she things that somehow that would affect the relationship between you and her, and that you will be more judgemental, she might also be scared because of what she thinks of Orthodoxy, something having to do with the American Protestant anti-catholic fobia.. You need to tell her that that is not the case and that you just found the flavour of christianity that suits you more and that you will never be judgemental over her and that this will not affect with nothing your relation.. I know mixed families Orthodox- Protestant who get along just good.. She acts like this because of fear and subconsciently out of love.. No need to worry.. Just do you thing but don`t act distant or anything like any other retarded extremist judgemental Orthodox bigots.Stay safe , God's speed and Jesus' blessing to you , your mother and your family.
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« Reply #4 on: June 22, 2012, 11:08:44 AM »

May the Lord God bring Peace and Understanding to you and your family on this very special day.

Congratulations to your coming Baptism Sir!!  Smiley
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« Reply #5 on: June 22, 2012, 11:21:57 AM »

Wow! That's really amazing news. I commend you for your active role in your faith and understanding at only 16, to the extent of even converting! I agree with katherineofdixie as to what to tell to your mother. And who knows? Now that you're becoming Orthodox in fullness and she is attending your church, maybe it will inspire her to find her own way spiritually and lead her into Orthodoxy. I pray for you and your mother, in light of the glorious Sacrement that you are about to partake in. Lord, have mercy!
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« Reply #6 on: June 22, 2012, 01:42:16 PM »

Congrats and do not worry, when she experiences your baptism she will see you are uniting to Christ in his church.  I find that the baptismal service has a impact on any who attend it.
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« Reply #7 on: June 22, 2012, 02:22:43 PM »

James,

You're a good son. Don't try to explain things to people who won't listen.
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« Reply #8 on: June 22, 2012, 03:26:07 PM »

Congratulations on your baptism.
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« Reply #9 on: June 24, 2012, 05:06:35 PM »

congratulations. i pray God gives u peace in yr family situation.
i understand about stressful family situations, may God bless u, and welcome to the church!
 Smiley
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