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Author Topic: Questions No Orthodox Christian Can Answer, Part 2  (Read 1048 times) Average Rating: 0
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Justin Kissel
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« on: March 26, 2012, 01:52:08 PM »

As a supplement to the last thread, I now offer part two. Just try and answer these questions, if you dare!

1) There are 8 tones in Orthodox music. There are 12 major and 12 minor keys in western music, adding up to 24 total. 24 divided by 8 equals 3. Think about it... three. Is this where the doctrine of the Trinity comes from?

2) If St. John Chrysostom is really golden mouthed, then why are his sermons so frustrating to read, both in English and in the original Hebrew?

3) If St. Photius were marching forward in time at the pace of 1 day per day, and St. Justin Popovich were marching backward in time at the pace of 1 day per day, on what day and in what year would they meet each other?

(Yes, I'm bored...)
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« Reply #1 on: March 26, 2012, 02:18:14 PM »

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« Reply #2 on: March 26, 2012, 04:15:14 PM »

1. Uh...

2. They're really long but if you give them a chance, they've got some good lessons.

3. Uh...

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« Reply #3 on: March 26, 2012, 05:18:08 PM »

Since you are bored, I have a recommendation to make. Catch the next Pre-sanctified in a parish without pews. Not only will you have a good workout, you may even be entertained.
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« Reply #4 on: March 26, 2012, 05:26:14 PM »

Since you are bored, I have a recommendation to make. Catch the next Pre-sanctified in a parish without pews. Not only will you have a good workout, you may even be entertained.

I've been to about a dozen parishes in my life, and all but one had pews... and that parish is about 200 miles away from where I'm at now...  Cool

But I could just do prostrations right here I suppose...
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« Reply #5 on: March 26, 2012, 05:45:52 PM »

Now is always the best time for prostrations! (i.e. drop down and give me 20) police
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« Reply #6 on: March 26, 2012, 06:12:59 PM »

1) There are 8 tones in Orthodox music. There are 12 major and 12 minor keys in western music, adding up to 24 total. 24 divided by 8 equals 3. Think about it... three. Is this where the doctrine of the Trinity comes from?

And every major key has a corresponding minor key with the exact same notes on it (C=Am), a musical tie to the incarnation?

Quote
2) If St. John Chrysostom is really golden mouthed, then why are his sermons so frustrating to read, both in English and in the original Hebrew?

Becasue you're trying to read and he didn't write with his mouth.

Quote
3) If St. Photius were marching forward in time at the pace of 1 day per day, and St. Justin Popovich were marching backward in time at the pace of 1 day per day, on what day and in what year would they meet each other?

Any particular method for accounting to stop and eat three times a day and any stops that would have to be made for bathroom breaks? Also, if they are marching, they may take paths that never cross each other.
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« Reply #7 on: March 26, 2012, 06:26:18 PM »

2.  I'm pretty sure that SJC wrote in Greek.  just saying. 
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« Reply #8 on: March 26, 2012, 06:26:23 PM »

2. They're really long but if you give them a chance, they've got some good lessons.

So Chrysostom DID originally write in Hebrew.
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« Reply #9 on: March 26, 2012, 06:30:39 PM »

2.  I'm pretty sure that SJC wrote in Greek.  just saying. 

Why would someone from Japan write in Greek?  Huh
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« Reply #10 on: March 26, 2012, 06:33:05 PM »

2.  I'm pretty sure that SJC wrote in Greek.  just saying. 

Why would someone from Japan write in Greek?  Huh

my brother...if this is a quip (and I assume that it is), I am either a) too dumb or b) too incoherent right now to understand it.  Otherwise...i would really have nothing to say.   Cool
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« Reply #11 on: March 26, 2012, 08:13:48 PM »

2.  St. John got the name because of his extensive dental work.

As a supplement to the last thread, I now offer part two. Just try and answer these questions, if you dare!

1) There are 8 tones in Orthodox music. There are 12 major and 12 minor keys in western music, adding up to 24 total. 24 divided by 8 equals 3. Think about it... three. Is this where the doctrine of the Trinity comes from?

2) If St. John Chrysostom is really golden mouthed, then why are his sermons so frustrating to read, both in English and in the original Hebrew?

3) If St. Photius were marching forward in time at the pace of 1 day per day, and St. Justin Popovich were marching backward in time at the pace of 1 day per day, on what day and in what year would they meet each other?

(Yes, I'm bored...)
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« Reply #12 on: March 26, 2012, 08:37:19 PM »

2.  St. John got the name because of his extensive dental work.

As a supplement to the last thread, I now offer part two. Just try and answer these questions, if you dare!

1) There are 8 tones in Orthodox music. There are 12 major and 12 minor keys in western music, adding up to 24 total. 24 divided by 8 equals 3. Think about it... three. Is this where the doctrine of the Trinity comes from?

2) If St. John Chrysostom is really golden mouthed, then why are his sermons so frustrating to read, both in English and in the original Hebrew?

3) If St. Photius were marching forward in time at the pace of 1 day per day, and St. Justin Popovich were marching backward in time at the pace of 1 day per day, on what day and in what year would they meet each other?

(Yes, I'm bored...)

I can't wait to wear my grill to Pascha.
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« Reply #13 on: March 26, 2012, 09:36:56 PM »

2.  St. John got the name because of his extensive dental work.

As a supplement to the last thread, I now offer part two. Just try and answer these questions, if you dare!

1) There are 8 tones in Orthodox music. There are 12 major and 12 minor keys in western music, adding up to 24 total. 24 divided by 8 equals 3. Think about it... three. Is this where the doctrine of the Trinity comes from?

2) If St. John Chrysostom is really golden mouthed, then why are his sermons so frustrating to read, both in English and in the original Hebrew?

3) If St. Photius were marching forward in time at the pace of 1 day per day, and St. Justin Popovich were marching backward in time at the pace of 1 day per day, on what day and in what year would they meet each other?

(Yes, I'm bored...)

I can't wait to wear my grill to Pascha.

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« Reply #14 on: March 26, 2012, 09:40:10 PM »

The tides come in and the tides come out, you can't explain that!
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« Reply #15 on: March 26, 2012, 09:42:17 PM »

So Chrysostom DID originally write in Hebrew.

St. Paul whispered to him in Hebrew, St. John wrote it down in shorthand and translated it to Greek later on.
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« Reply #16 on: March 26, 2012, 09:42:39 PM »

The tides come in and the tides come out, you can't explain that!

I package that stuff at work. People put it in with their laundry and let the washing machine do all the work.
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« Reply #17 on: March 26, 2012, 09:59:57 PM »

The tides come in and the tides come out, you can't explain that!

I package that stuff at work. People put it in with their laundry and let the washing machine do all the work.

So the tides come in and the stains come out.
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« Reply #18 on: March 27, 2012, 12:25:59 AM »

#1) Rather, I would say that this fact is a Holy coincidence to represent the doctrine of the Trinity rather than the reason for the doctrine itself.

#2) Because they were not written in Hebrew but Greek. Secondly, because most translations of them are really horrible and confusing in sentence structure. Thirdly, they were meant to be heard, not read. I would love to find audiobooks for his homilies.

#3) Pope Nicholas' backside?
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« Reply #19 on: March 27, 2012, 01:16:14 AM »

#2) Because they were not written in Hebrew but Greek.

We already covered this. Japanese people don't use Greek.

Quote
Secondly, because most translations of them are really horrible and confusing in sentence structure. Thirdly, they were meant to be heard, not read. I would love to find audiobooks for his homilies.

I tried saying them out loud so they could be heard, and they were even worse!
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« Reply #20 on: March 27, 2012, 12:04:45 PM »

#2) Because they were not written in Hebrew but Greek.
We already covered this. Japanese people don't use Greek.
Quote
Secondly, because most translations of them are really horrible and confusing in sentence structure. Thirdly, they were meant to be heard, not read. I would love to find audiobooks for his homilies.
I tried saying them out loud so they could be heard, and they were even worse!

Did you try reading them out loud in the original hebrew used by the Japanese?
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Justin Kissel
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« Reply #21 on: March 27, 2012, 12:07:30 PM »

#2) Because they were not written in Hebrew but Greek.
We already covered this. Japanese people don't use Greek.
Quote
Secondly, because most translations of them are really horrible and confusing in sentence structure. Thirdly, they were meant to be heard, not read. I would love to find audiobooks for his homilies.
I tried saying them out loud so they could be heard, and they were even worse!

Did you try reading them out loud in the original hebrew used by the Japanese?

Wait... is original Japanese hebrew different than koine hebrew? I'll try both tonight, and see if it helps!
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« Reply #22 on: March 27, 2012, 12:16:48 PM »

#2) Because they were not written in Hebrew but Greek.
We already covered this. Japanese people don't use Greek.
Quote
Secondly, because most translations of them are really horrible and confusing in sentence structure. Thirdly, they were meant to be heard, not read. I would love to find audiobooks for his homilies.
I tried saying them out loud so they could be heard, and they were even worse!
Did you try reading them out loud in the original hebrew used by the Japanese?
Wait... is original Japanese hebrew different than koine hebrew? I'll try both tonight, and see if it helps!

If that doesn't work, have St John  read them to you while you place your attention on his grill.
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« Reply #23 on: March 27, 2012, 03:02:37 PM »

#2) Because they were not written in Hebrew but Greek. Secondly, because most translations of them are really horrible and confusing in sentence structure. Thirdly, they were meant to be heard, not read. I would love to find audiobooks for his homilies.

You realize that reading "silently" is a relatively recent phenomenon?

Nothing was ever meant to read and not heard. They didn't even know of such a thing.

This is an interesting subject. Check it out.
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« Reply #24 on: March 27, 2012, 10:31:39 PM »

2.  I'm pretty sure that SJC wrote in Greek.  just saying. 

Why would someone from Japan write in Greek?  Huh

Ahem.
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« Reply #25 on: March 27, 2012, 10:48:56 PM »

2.  I'm pretty sure that SJC wrote in Greek.  just saying. 

Why would someone from Japan write in Greek?  Huh

Ahem.

Oh, sorry, hmm...  I guess I meant really really olden times, like the 1950s or something  Smiley
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« Reply #26 on: March 28, 2012, 09:21:23 PM »

As a supplement to the last thread, I now offer part two. Just try and answer these questions, if you dare!

1) There are 8 tones in Orthodox music. There are 12 major and 12 minor keys in western music, adding up to 24 total. 24 divided by 8 equals 3. Think about it... three. Is this where the doctrine of the Trinity comes from?

2) If St. John Chrysostom is really golden mouthed, then why are his sermons so frustrating to read, both in English and in the original Hebrew?

3) If St. Photius were marching forward in time at the pace of 1 day per day, and St. Justin Popovich were marching backward in time at the pace of 1 day per day, on what day and in what year would they meet each other?

(Yes, I'm bored...)

Obviously this is joking, but I figured I'd try to answer it seriously...

3) Well time would pass by, and so St. Photius would simply be going as we do, 1 day per day, 1 year per year. St. Justin Popovich would be stuck in place because he would move backwards with the passage of each day, 1 day - 1 day is obviously 0. Therefore they would meet in the same year St. Justin Popovich began his "backward" movement, it will have taken St. Justin no time, whereas it would have taken St. Photius over 1,000 years to reach St. Justin.
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« Reply #27 on: March 29, 2012, 09:12:13 AM »

As a supplement to the last thread, I now offer part two. Just try and answer these questions, if you dare!

1) There are 8 tones in Orthodox music. There are 12 major and 12 minor keys in western music, adding up to 24 total. 24 divided by 8 equals 3. Think about it... three. Is this where the doctrine of the Trinity comes from?

2) If St. John Chrysostom is really golden mouthed, then why are his sermons so frustrating to read, both in English and in the original Hebrew?

3) If St. Photius were marching forward in time at the pace of 1 day per day, and St. Justin Popovich were marching backward in time at the pace of 1 day per day, on what day and in what year would they meet each other?

(Yes, I'm bored...)

Obviously this is joking, but I figured I'd try to answer it seriously...

3) Well time would pass by, and so St. Photius would simply be going as we do, 1 day per day, 1 year per year. St. Justin Popovich would be stuck in place because he would move backwards with the passage of each day, 1 day - 1 day is obviously 0. Therefore they would meet in the same year St. Justin Popovich began his "backward" movement, it will have taken St. Justin no time, whereas it would have taken St. Photius over 1,000 years to reach St. Justin.

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« Reply #28 on: March 29, 2012, 10:03:10 AM »

I love lamp.
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« Reply #29 on: March 29, 2012, 11:37:25 AM »

I love lamp.

speaking of which, Anchorman 2 is coming out next year!!!
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Justin Kissel
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« Reply #30 on: May 06, 2014, 04:34:29 PM »

Another question that I have been thinking about recently, and which will require a good answer by next Sunday: how do you politely challenge an orthodox priest to a bare-fisted boxing match?
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« Reply #31 on: May 06, 2014, 04:35:59 PM »

Another question that I have been thinking about recently, and which will require a good answer by next Sunday: how do you politely challenge an orthodox priest to a bare-fisted boxing match?

There are less painful ways of getting yourself excommunicated.  Try masturbation. 
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« Reply #32 on: May 06, 2014, 04:43:52 PM »

Another question that I have been thinking about recently, and which will require a good answer by next Sunday: how do you politely challenge an orthodox priest to a bare-fisted boxing match?

There are a few qualifiers:
1) He must be Russian.
2) He must have served in the Russian Army or Border Guards, preferably a Spetsnaz unit.
3) Get him drunk.

Once you've figured out the first two, the last one should be relatively easy as it is the paschal season.
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« Reply #33 on: June 04, 2014, 09:09:59 PM »

Two further questions no Orthodox Christian can answer*:

1) Why doesn't Saint Vladimir's Seminary Press let you preview their books on Amazon?

2) Why does AFR need so much money to run things? They have a general breakdown on the site, but I still don't understand what costs so much.


*Though if someone can, it'd be appreciated.
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« Reply #34 on: June 04, 2014, 09:34:16 PM »

#2) Because they were not written in Hebrew but Greek.
We already covered this. Japanese people don't use Greek.
Quote
Secondly, because most translations of them are really horrible and confusing in sentence structure. Thirdly, they were meant to be heard, not read. I would love to find audiobooks for his homilies.
I tried saying them out loud so they could be heard, and they were even worse!

Did you try reading them out loud in the original hebrew used by the Japanese?

Wait... is original Japanese hebrew different than koine hebrew? I'll try both tonight, and see if it helps!
Actually it's Assyrian Aramaic, it just looks like Japanese Hebrew to the untrained eye.
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