my bf and I had a handfasting ceremony in 2005. So in our reality, and our families who attended we are married (just not legally, and not in the Christian sense of the word).
Joyce, that is a very important detail that sort of changes things. If you read St. Paul's letters, he says:
"But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband"
Now, if the husband and wife were previously unbelievers, in Corinth, that means they had a pagan marriage
, which Paul is recognizing as a marriage here. A marriage done by Hindus or Buddhists or Pagans was and is still a marriage.
You need to tell your priest that you were married to your boyfriend in a ceremony.