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Author Topic: Feeling so sad  (Read 672 times) Average Rating: 0
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SeekingTruth
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« on: May 31, 2012, 01:29:28 AM »

I'm just dipping my toes into Orthodoxy, but I'm already wondering how I went 30 years without knowing this Church existed. My husband and I converted to Catholicism from Evangelical Protestantism 5 years ago, and I thought we were home. However, I've begun having doubts. What started my search outside the Roman Church is the issue we just resolved regarding our youngest child's baptism. He is 3 months old and has yet to be baptized, because we were (unavoidably) delayed in getting his birth certificate. My husband made the comment, "So, they're okay with our child going to hell if he dies because we didn't get the birth certificate to them?" I defended the church, saying that they have to follow the law, but it did (and does) bother me. The same thing with our marriage--we were married in our old Protestant cburch before converting,and while in RCIA were told that ourmarriage was valid and we didn't require a convalidation. Well, come to find out almost 7 years and 4 children later, that was incorrect and we have essentially been living in sin almost our entire marriage.
I see more and more legaalism that I just didn't recognize before, but what really makes me sad is that my children are denied the Body and Blood of Christ. It just hit me today that when Jesus said that if we don't eat His body and drink His blood we have no life in us, that He was describing the state of my 4 babies! Why did the Catholic church take that right away from the children?

It's late and I'm probably overemotional, but I feel really sad and, for some reason, betrayed.
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dcommini
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« Reply #1 on: May 31, 2012, 01:58:54 AM »

I too wonder how I went so long with out knowing about Orthodoxy. I knew of a lot of different denominations and of course about the RCC. I didn't really know about Orthodoxy as a separate entity for quite some time.

I can understand feeling betrayed, one church I attended made me feel that way which was a shame since that is where all of my friends were.

I'll be praying for you.
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witega
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« Reply #2 on: May 31, 2012, 03:29:03 AM »

"If any man be devout and love God, let him enjoy this fair and radiant triumphal feast. If any man be a wise servant, let him rejoicing enter into the joy of his Lord. If any have labored long in fasting, let him now receive his recompense. If any have wrought from the first hour, let him today receive his just reward. If any have come at the third hour, let him with thankfulness keep the feast. If any have arrived at the sixth hour, let him have no misgivings; because he shall in nowise be deprived therefor. If any have delayed until the ninth hour, let him draw near, fearing nothing. If any have tarried even until the eleventh hour, let him, also, be not alarmed at his tardiness; for the Lord, who is jealous of his honor, will accept the last even as the first; he gives rest unto him who comes at the eleventh hour, even as unto him who has wrought from the first hour.

And he shows mercy upon the last, and cares for the first; and to the one he gives, and upon the other he bestows gifts. And he both accepts the deeds, and welcomes the intention, and honors the acts and praises the offering. Wherefore, enter you all into the joy of your Lord; and receive your reward, both the first, and likewise the second. "

(from the start of St. John Chysostom's Paschal Homily -- for the rest, just wait until next Easter)
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For it were better to suffer everything, rather than divide the Church of God. Even martyrdom for the sake of preventing division would not be less glorious than for refusing to worship idols. - St. Dionysius the Great
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« Reply #3 on: May 31, 2012, 03:30:29 AM »

sorry for the double post but I wanted to separate this from my primary response--but I have to ask: you had to have a birth certificate to get your child baptized? Huh? Can someone explain that?
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For it were better to suffer everything, rather than divide the Church of God. Even martyrdom for the sake of preventing division would not be less glorious than for refusing to worship idols. - St. Dionysius the Great
SeekingTruth
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« Reply #4 on: May 31, 2012, 09:09:58 AM »

"It is important that the parish be able to properly identify and verify the child’s birth information (i.e. parent’s names, legal name of child, etc.) when preparing the Baptismal Certificate."

This isn't from our parish, but I found this info here: http://www.sacredhearthouston.org/index.cfm?load=page&page=221

I'm sure this is pretty standard. Of course, they couldn't just take our word for it that we are his parents and this is his legal name??? I'm probably overreacting, but the whole situation has just left me feeling let down and disappointed. There are so many things about this Church that I love, but now I'm having doubts and that pisses me off! Does that make sense?
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Knee V
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« Reply #5 on: May 31, 2012, 02:19:55 PM »

We never had to do anything with a birth certificate when we had our son baptized. We tend to see the child's baptism as an absolute priority, and we're encouraged to have our children baptized as soon as we're able. Typically that happens after the 40th day from birth, but the child could be baptized the moment he/she comes out of the womb if it came to that. No documentation of birth is required. Do adults require birth certificates to be baptized? Of course not. Why should children?

I came to Orthodoxy from Protestantism, with a brief stop in Rome on the way. I was going to be Catholic for things like the Eucharist, Apostolic Succession, the Liturgy, etc. But once I heard about Orthodoxy (actually, I always knew that it existed, but never bothered to look into it), and when I finally attended a Divine Liturgy, there was no going back.
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« Reply #6 on: May 31, 2012, 03:15:19 PM »

Who told you that you had to have your marriage "convalidated"?
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SeekingTruth
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« Reply #7 on: May 31, 2012, 03:30:00 PM »

Who told you that you had to have your marriage "convalidated"?

The Monsignor at our new parish, as well as the pastoral assistant at our old parish after I called to see about getting our Confirmation certificates faxed so we can be considered validly married in the eyes of the Church.  Sad
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« Reply #8 on: May 31, 2012, 08:01:24 PM »

Take a deep breath, receive a hug (((seeking truth))), and then come join us in the Orthodox church.  I take such joy in seeing all my children, even the littlest, receive the Eucharist ~ you're right, they need life, the life of Christ in them. 
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Peter J
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« Reply #9 on: May 31, 2012, 09:07:50 PM »

Hi ST. First, my sympathies; I know how frustrating being Catholic can be sometimes. Second, a question: were either of you Catholic at any time before 5 years ago?
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SeekingTruth
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« Reply #10 on: May 31, 2012, 10:57:58 PM »

Hi ST. First, my sympathies; I know how frustrating being Catholic can be sometimes. Second, a question: were either of you Catholic at any time before 5 years ago?

Nope, Protestant born and raised, and the first marriage for both of us. When we explained that while in RCIA we were told several times that our marriage was valid. However, 5 years later, we've been told that that is *not* the case. Ironically (or maybe not), they'll probably do the convalidation at the same time as our fourth child's baptism--June 10--which is also our seventh anniversary.  Roll Eyes
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SeekingTruth
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« Reply #11 on: May 31, 2012, 10:58:59 PM »

Take a deep breath, receive a hug (((seeking truth))), and then come join us in the Orthodox church.  I take such joy in seeing all my children, even the littlest, receive the Eucharist ~ you're right, they need life, the life of Christ in them. 

Thank you.  Smiley
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Maria
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« Reply #12 on: May 31, 2012, 11:22:21 PM »

My prayers.

I was a Catholic for 50 years before realizing the truth.
Yes, I struggled greatly with loss of faith during those years
especially when they changed the Mass, and then the Sacraments.

I wanted the unchanging faith and finally found it in Holy Orthodoxy.
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« Reply #13 on: June 01, 2012, 01:18:05 AM »

My prayers.

I was a Catholic for 50 years before realizing the truth.
Yes, I struggled greatly with loss of faith during those years
especially when they changed the Mass, and then the Sacraments.

I wanted the unchanging faith and finally found it in Holy Orthodoxy.

You make me feel better.  I'm 49 and only just now finding it.  That's one thing about Orthodoxy.  It's not all flash and banter and knocking on doors.  They're just there.  You only find it if you're looking for Christ's true church.  With all the other churches out there that I've gone to, I went to Matins and Liturgy for the first time last Sunday and was completely floored.  As I'm heading for the bus stop, it dawned on me, "Oh, so that's what they mean by 'ten percenters' "  All those other church 'services' I went to and even my Catholic Mass--they think they've got it covered and don't even touch the surface.
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lovesupreme
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« Reply #14 on: June 01, 2012, 01:36:25 AM »

I'm much farther away from truth than you, but I'd also like to chime in about finding Orthodoxy unexpectedly. I used to be an Orthodox Jew and, when doing a Google Search, I came across a page on Orthodox Christianity. I thought, "there's an Orthodox version of Christianity too?" Then I remembered, vaguely, learning about some Schism in high school world history class, and that there were people before the Catholics (but they never got talked about, even in my secular Western education). When I lost my faith, I was kind of frightened to go to something so traditional and ornate, with all the icons and incense (things that were cardinal sins in Orthodox Judaism), but I was intrigued. Now, I'm far from on a stable path, but I can't help but think that maybe what I thought was just an erroneous Google search could have been the start of something better...

The point is, don't look back and don't despair because you aren't where you want to be. God has a plan (I keep myself that) and, even if you never completely understand why you have to go through all these loops and hurdles, I have faith that you'll achieve calm someday.
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