I mentioned a few months ago that the relationship with my parents is very tense lately. Well, things are even worse now. The decided to become very nasty starting the week our new baby was hospitalized and on a ventilator due to respiratory failure from RSV. They started posting things very unkind things publicly on our facebook page and sending accusatory emails. I replied once and directed them to contact my husband if they want to start the process of reconciliation. Now my mother is pushing my brothers hard to become go-betweens in this situation. That makes this situation very difficult for my brothers to say the least! If anyone could pray for this situation I would appreciate it. This isn't going to be a very easy situation to resolve. I don't have unrealistic expectations. I know that my parents will never quit thinking ill of me. I know that they basically think I am an awful daughter and an even worse mother. I just want them to treat me kindly, and demand that they treat my children kindly. They wouldn't treat the grandchildren of my step-siblings the way they treat my children. They know that if they did, my step siblings would cut off all contact and never speak to them again. For some reason my mother believes that she should be able to treat me any way she wants and I have to put up with it because she gave birth to me. To a large extent I don't care too much about how she treats me outside of how that effects my children when they see/hear it. I do care deeply that their behavior has devolved into treated my children badly. I can't tolerate that.
Further, if you could pray for me tomorrow. My godmother, my eldest daughter's godmother and Taz's godmother are throwing me a be-lated baby shower for Taz. Because of various factors of my upbringing I am extremely uncomfortable with this type of thing. It is very, very difficult for me to be in a situation where I am the recipient of gifts and kindness. I managed to get the shower to be co-ed and all ages. So I can get the kids and my husband to take some of the focus off of me. But this sort of situation makes me feel very panicky. I always feel like I couldn't deserve this sort of thing and assume everyone thinks I am just selfish for getting that sort of attention. The fact that showers for 5th children are socially frown upon just makes me feel worse. The godmothers were quite insistent that I be given a shower, so I didn't have much say
Sorry for the long post. I don't post a lot, but I do keep track of how people are doing. Thank you.
