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Author Topic: Kids and different faiths..  (Read 1017 times) Average Rating: 0
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Timon
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« on: May 18, 2012, 11:47:13 PM »

Any other Orthodox here married to people of other faiths and have kids?  Im sure this has been discussed here before, so if anyone can link to another thread, thats cool too.

Basically, Im ready to convert and my wife isnt.  We dont really have a "church home" right now since I work on Sundays.  Because of that, she usually just stays home.  She is a Christian though.  We were raised protestant.  She wants to attend a rather contemporary style Anglican church with some friends, which I am fine with for now as I think something is better than nothing.  She is just concerned about the complications this may cause when we have kids.

Anyone else dealt with this?  What do we do?
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HabteSelassie
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« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2012, 11:56:32 PM »

Greetings in that Divine and Most Precious Name of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!



  What do we do?

Slow your role, y'all are getting way to ahead of yourselves.  First things first.  You don't have any kids, so don't worry about things that don't exist, like Jesus said, "You shall not, then, be worrying about the morrow, for the morrow will be worrying of itself.  Sufficient for the day is its own evil."  Deal with today Smiley Focus on your wife today, not potential children tomorrow.  Such children will be enough to deal with at that time, and children are a miraculous force of change in human lives, so you can't hardly predict what will happen then in the first place! Focus on your catechism now, and pray for your wife.  Let God do the rest.  Serious.  Keep in prayer, and maintain a loving, hospitable, and friendly environment respecting your wife's own faith as your own. Only God can persuade the heart, and only God can reveal Himself.

stay blessed,
habte selassie
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Timon
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« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2012, 12:02:45 AM »

Greetings in that Divine and Most Precious Name of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!



  What do we do?

Slow your role, y'all are getting way to ahead of yourselves.  First things first.  You don't have any kids, so don't worry about things that don't exist, like Jesus said, "You shall not, then, be worrying about the morrow, for the morrow will be worrying of itself.  Sufficient for the day is its own evil."  Deal with today Smiley Focus on your wife today, not potential children tomorrow.  Such children will be enough to deal with at that time, and children are a miraculous force of change in human lives, so you can't hardly predict what will happen then in the first place! Focus on your catechism now, and pray for your wife.  Let God do the rest.  Serious.  Keep in prayer, and maintain a loving, hospitable, and friendly environment respecting your wife's own faith as your own. Only God can persuade the heart, and only God can reveal Himself.

stay blessed,
habte selassie

I couldnt agree more.  I personally am not too worried about it.  However, im not sure how well that response would fly with her.  She plans ahead like crazy.  She is always thinking into the future. 

I appreciate the response and I will definitely continue to pray.  She doesnt seem to have any objections with my conversion other than the issue of kids.  Hopefully this will work itself out in time. 

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Even if we have thousands of acts of great virtue to our credit, our confidence in being heard must be based on God's mercy and His love for men. Even if we stand at the very summit of virtue, it is by mercy that we shall be saved.

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JamesR
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« Reply #3 on: May 19, 2012, 12:40:31 AM »

To be honest, you cannot control what religion your child is going to be. My parents tried to force Protestantism down my throat for most of my life and it only drove me away from it. I'd say it worked to my benefit though because I found Orthodoxy in the end as a result. Your children aren't even going to be able to understand religion let alone the theological differences between Orthodoxy and Anglicanism, and by the time they are old enough to, they'll also be old enough to make their own decision whether they want to be Orthodox or Anglican or something else entirely.

Also, just an opinion. Maybe you could divide the childrens' religious upbringing via gender. Say raise the males Orthodox and the females Anglican. I remember when I was seeing this amazing Muslim girl once before her crazy parents forced her to get married to someone in Yemen, she always talked about marriage with me (I guess Muslims REALLY think ahead since we were only like 15-16) and the only solution we could come to if we ever had kids was to divide their religious upbringing by gender. I think that that is also the method used in the Orthodox old countries.
« Last Edit: May 19, 2012, 12:44:32 AM by JamesR » Logged

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« Reply #4 on: May 19, 2012, 09:34:33 AM »

I agree that she's is really jumping the gun here.  However, it is a good idea to flesh this out ahead of time too.  Just don't make promises you cannot keep.  I know someone who promised his wife before they got married that he would never go to a liturgical church.  25yrs later and he's rather stuck (although not at all interested in Orthodoxy -but he grew up Anglican).

While I agree you cannot control what religion your children will *eventually* embrace, you certainly have a duty to raise them in some church if you're a Christian.  With the exception of one, our children were older and allowed to decide.  But, one thing my husband and I both agreed on was that they had to go to church.  It was a non-negotiable. 

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« Reply #5 on: May 19, 2012, 01:19:16 PM »

No, she's not jumping the gun on this. Non-Orthodox example: my son (Protestant) is married to an RC. Son is in favour of baptizing their 1 year old son. Son was raised in a Protestant church that practises infant baptism, but the church he attends regularly now does not. He just found out that his wife has been going behind his back to prepare to have my grandson baptized RC. Son is not opposed to that, but because this was not talked about openly much earlier, it has caused division between them.

Timon, you should start talks about this. Your ideas may change over time, but it should always be an open subject.
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yeshuaisiam
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« Reply #6 on: June 03, 2012, 12:03:49 AM »

Yes.

I am Orthodox, grew up Orthodox and have been Orthodox my entire life.
My wife is Anabaptist (Amish/Mennonite) grew up that way, and still dresses that way, and believes it.

The similarities of beliefs are extremely close in theology, but there are a few differences on the "churchy" side of course.  Our children we raise in both understandings.  Our home life is very "Anabaptist" like.  No TV, and computers are used only as tools and never for entertainment.  We raise goats, chickens, rabbits and bees.   Wife & daughters spin fiber, sew, knit, make soap, candles.  My sons and I take care of the animals, hunt for food (never for sport), garden, build & repair fences, and fix stuff.

She is willing to go Orthodox because it is so similar, but (other threads) I'm having trouble finding a nearby church, and becoming a reader is pointless because I kind of do that anyway.   We have bible study on Sunday, and sometimes visit a Mennonite church for fellowship with her family/friends.  I'm warmly greeted, but I never worship with them.  As the head of my household, my family lets me lead the prayer.

The funny thing is, if you fill your life with his creation, there is always something to do rather than nitpick particulars.  You can argue icons or not, but somebody has got to collect eggs, shovel the goat stall, and weld the broken latch - isn't that tire low - the tractor is missing a fire - a possum is in the trap.  LOL...

There is an old Amish saying "A pulling horse doesn't kick".

We don't disagree, because its pointless to disagree.  The faiths are very similar in most ways, of course as an Orthodox I have to see the Anabaptists as (no "Mojo" - whatever that is), but they live as Christians and are wonderful people.

We are happy with each other and our 5 children, and always are open for more children.  (We are actually in the lower children amount to the Anabaptist groups - they often have 9-13 children!!!!)

You may want to ask your wife to attend an Orthodox church just to "be with you".  It may catch on.
« Last Edit: June 03, 2012, 12:04:57 AM by yeshuaisiam » Logged

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« Reply #7 on: June 03, 2012, 10:04:14 PM »

...computers are used only as tools and never for entertainment.

?

Aren't you using the computer for entertainment by coming to this website?
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You're really on to something here. Tattoo to keep you from masturbating, chew to keep you from fornicating... it's a whole new world where you outsource your crosses. You're like a Christian entrepreneur or something.
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James, you have problemz.
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« Reply #8 on: June 03, 2012, 10:06:44 PM »

...computers are used only as tools and never for entertainment.

?

Aren't you using the computer for entertainment by coming to this website?
This site, as entertainment? I want a full refund.
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HabteSelassie
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« Reply #9 on: June 03, 2012, 11:05:05 PM »

Greetings in that Divine and Most Precious Name of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

...computers are used only as tools and never for entertainment.

?

Aren't you using the computer for entertainment by coming to this website?
This site, as entertainment? I want a full refund.

we're not here cuz we want to entertain, please go away, don't go away, reality is the new fiction they say, true truer these days truth is man made

stay blessed,
habte selassie
« Last Edit: June 03, 2012, 11:05:25 PM by HabteSelassie » Logged

"Yet stand aloof from stupid questionings and geneologies and strifes and fightings about law, for they are without benefit and vain." Titus 3:10
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